This chapter is a little short, but please enjoy!

Chapter 2

Raphael listened to his baby brother in irritation."I've put the control by your hand Raph, and I've just turned it to the sports channel for you." Michelangelo said to him. He felt his baby brother slide an object into his hand. 'If you need anything just give us a call okay. Just press the button; it will connect you straight to Donny, okay?"

He looked in the direction he could hear his brother's voice coming from. "I got it Mikey." Raphael grumbled in irritation.

"You know what, I think I am going to stay." Michelangelo said.

Raphael felt the weight of the couch shift. "Mikey, you've been cooped up here with me too long." Raphael said to his brother. "Go out, get some fresh air. Leo's chomping at the bit, there have been too many attacks and too much movement by the Red Dragons, along with all of the other monsters that seem to have come crawling out of who knows where. Go kick some ass for me." He said smiling at his brother. He could feel his scars pull tightly on his face from smiling.

He felt the couch shift again as his brother stood. "If you're sure." His brother said, sounding unsure.

"Just go already Mikey. I'm fine." He said as he waved his brother off. He turned his attention to the TV. He could hear the sports announcer listing off the stats of the various sports games that had been played today. Not that Raphael cared but he pretended to be engrossed in what the sports caster had to say.

He heard his older brother come up behind him. He could tell it was him by the way he moved. He had learned a lot of things over the past year.

"I'm fine Leo, go play hero." He grumbled.

He could picture Leonardo giving a curt nod, realize that he couldn't see him and instead patted him on the shoulder. "We won't be gone too long."

"Yeah, yeah," He said waving his brother off.

He listened to the sounds of his brother's leaving the lair to go out on patrol. He waited awhile.

Finally he slowly stood dropping the phone his brother's had left him. He carefully made his way through the lair. He bashed his knees a few times but he finally made it to the training room. His brother's didn't realize his hearing had gotten much better over the past year. He was very aware of where they had put his sais. He felt along the far wall until he encountered the familiar texture and shape. He put one sai through his belt and held the other in his tightly clenched fist.

He slowly made his way carefully back to the couch.

Leonardo watched as his brothers slowly made their way stealthily across the rooftop. The night had been quiet so far, but they had not strayed too far from the lair.

"I have a bad feeling about this Leo." Michelangelo said to him as he knelt down beside him.

"Raph said he would be fine." Leonardo said, but felt the same feeling of foreboding that his brother was expressing. The problem was that he had no reason to think that there was anything wrong.

"I know he said he would be fine, but that's what worries me." Michelangelo said to him.

"Mikey. It is possible that Raph has finally accepted his injuries and knows that he has to adapt to the way his life is now." Donatello said as he knelt beside Michelangelo.

Leonardo nodded but looked at his two brothers. It still felt wrong to be out on patrol without Raphael, but Raphael could never come with them again.

He studied Donatello. Donatello didn't look well, of course none of them did, but he was beginning to wonder if there was something more wrong with his brother than just simple grief.

"I know but…It's Raph, he doesn't accept anything." Michelangelo protested.

"Mikey, it's been over a year since…" Leonardo couldn't continue.

"You can say it Leo." Michelangelo grumbled. "Since Raph was so badly beaten we didn't think he was going to live. That he managed to mostly recover, but still has problems walking, sometimes just moving. I've seen him Leo, wincing in pain when he doesn't think we are close enough for us to see." Michelangelo said with a shake of his head. "Not to mention his scars. Everything hurts him Leo."

Leonardo closed his eyes in pained remembrance. He still blamed himself. He knew that it had been a trap, but he let Raphael storm off by himself while he and his other brothers had stealthily tried to take the Red Dragons by surprise by attacking them from the front. The Red Dragons had been caught by surprise, but by the time they had made their way to the other side of the warehouse to where Raphael had staged his little distraction, it had almost been too late. They had found their brother lying in a pool of his own blood. He had thought that he was dead, and when he had found out he wasn't, he had been so scared that he wasn't going to make it through the night, but he had, and when his brother had opened his sightless eyes, it had broken his heart to know that his broken brother was now 'useless' was the word Raphael had used to describe himself.

Raphael had raged and been angry. His moods had raged back and forth between anger to outright despair. They had taken away his weapons on the off chance he had decided to do something stupid, but Raphael had never once asked where his sais were.

The feeling of dread increased. Raphael had been unusually sanguine about them going out. Usually he raged and shut himself up in his room. But the last few times he had been more quiet and reserved. So what was different about this time that made his skin crawl with worry?

"It's not your fault Leo." Donatello said to him softly.

"Of course it's my fault Donny." He said lashing out at his brother. "All of it. It is all my fault!" He yelled.

"Leo..." Donatello began.

"I ripped him away from his soul mate Donny. I did that. If I had have just left him alone, even if everything played out the way it did, at least he would have been with her for another month." He shook his head as Donatello opened his mouth again. "She would still be alive if I hadn't interfered. Hell was looking for a pure soul, if she wasn't pure anymore, Hell wouldn't have wanted her, but she stayed pure because of Me. I was the one who got her killed, and he's never once blamed me for that. He's never blamed me for pulling him away from her, or for him almost dying and losing his sight. Never once." Leonardo managed to choke out. "Why didn't he blame me?" He asked his brother wretchedly.

Michelangelo lightly put his hand on his shoulder. "Because," Michelangelo said softly. "He has no room in his heart to blame anyone but himself." Michelangelo said sadly. "You can grieve for her Leo, you loved her too, you lost her too. It's not your fault. Even if she wasn't pure anymore Hell would have still wanted her because of what she was. Even without her purity, her soul was too powerful to give up. Michael should have known this, and Raph knows this. You can't blame yourself Leo."

He shook his head in denial.

"Leo, she was your soul mate too." Donatello said softly.

He looked at his brother in shock. "No she..." Donatello cut him off.

"Leo. She. Was. Your. Soul. Mate." Donatello said with irritation. "We all were, in as much as the concept of a soul mate could exist we were all hers."

Leonardo opened his mouth to dispute his brother but Donatello cut him off again. "There is no such things as soul mates Leo. There is no one perfect person out there for you, but if there could be, she was it. We all know it, we all know she was The One, and that exists, just as all of us were The Ones for her." He said with irritation.

"But..." Leonardo began.

Donatello cut him off again. "Darkness said that 'soul mate' was the closest word for what they had, but they are so much more than that. I still can't wrap my mind around what they had, but..." Donatello paused in thought, his eyes widening in horror. "We have to get back to the lair, now!" Donatello yelled as he suddenly stood up. He began to run.

"What is it Donny?" He asked in worry as he followed his younger brother.

"That's what Katherine was trying to tell me!" Donatello said in horror.

"What?" Leonardo said in shock as he darted after his younger brother.

"Katherine, she was trying to tell me something, but I just couldn't figure it out. I should have known. The look on his face. Damn it! It's been five years!"

Leonardo reached out and grabbed his younger brother's arm stopping him. "Donny what are you talking about?" He said spinning his younger brother to look at him. "Katherine's gone Donny." He said in desolate voice.

Donatello pulled his arm free of his grip. "I know that Leo." He said angrily. "It's been five years." He said desperately as he darted off again.

"It hasn't been five years Donny." Leonardo said just loudly enough to be heard as they ran. He knew. It had been exactly 4 years, 10 months 1 day, and 7 hours since they had failed to bring Katherine home alive from Hell. It had been 4 years, 10 months, 1 day, 6 hours and 55 minutes since April and Casey had tried to help them through their grief. 4 years, 10 months, 1 day and 6 hours since April had showed them the contents of the two backpacks that Darkness had given them to look after.

He remembered opening the bags and pulling out the carving of the rat protecting four baby turtles. He had nearly dropped the statue, luckily April had managed to steady his hands before he had. The other bag had contained the fan Katherine had given April for Christmas as well as the vase, and mug made by them and the girls for Katherine. Also the clay handprints made by Starlight and Starbright.

He hadn't known what emotion he had wanted to feel when looking at the contents of the bags. He had wanted to smash everything, destroy it all. He thought that if he could destroy it all he could destroy the memory of her. Wipe the love and grief for her from his heart, so he wouldn't hurt the way he had, the way he still did if he allowed himself. Time had tempered the grief, but it was still there, like an old pain that hadn't gotten any better, but rather, one he had gotten used to.

They had re-packed the items and put the bags in a closet along with Katherine's camera which Michelangelo had stolen. A week later a phone began ringing, the sound coming from the closet.

Donatello had answered the phone, it had been Katherine's. On the other line was Katherine's father. He had sadly informed them that Katherine had been killed on her way home from the airport. She had been killed in a devastating head on car accident. The other driver had walked away without a scratch. They had assumed that was Darkness' handiwork, giving her parents closure.

Her parents had gone through her possessions and had realized that her phone and camera were missing, along with her jacket. He and his brothers had all been so buried within the depths of their own grief that they hadn't even known what to say to Katherine's grieving father. They had offered to send the phone and camera through the mail the next day. Donatello had taken the memory chip and downloaded all of Katherine's pictures onto his hard drive. He then deleted any photos of themselves, and got April to ship the phone and camera out the next day. After that they had unpacked the backpacks and left the items scattered around the lair, because Katherine had cared enough to pack them in the first place.

"That's my point." Donatello said interrupting his thoughts. "Darkness said that our world echoed with the events that happened in their world."

"So?" He questioned.

"So, Goddess died on their world, and their Raph was killed 5 years after Goddess died." Donatello said to him as they leapt off the building and hit the street below.

"But their Raph was murdered. Are you saying that Raph is in danger?" He asked as he began to run through the darkened alleyways faster.

"Only from himself." Donatello grumbled.

"But Donny, that makes no sense. Katherine hasn't been gone for five years. Raph's been blind for over a year, why now, why would he take his own life now?" He asked his brother desperately.

"It's been five years to the day that he let her go. Five years to the day that he flippantly promised her that he would protect her and didn't. It's the day after Halloween." Donatello looked over his shoulder at him. "Leo, he probably figures that his other self suffered for five years without her and that is all he is going to live through." He said wretchedly.

"Donny…" His brother was already shaking his head.

"No Leo you don't understand, even I don't fully understand, but you have no idea how much her loss hurt him. Still hurts him. He was so much more than her soul mate Leo." Donatello said as he skirted past a dumpster.

"I don't even know what that means." Leonardo said in frustration. "And other Leonardo was Goddess' soul mate; he managed to survive her death. He didn't become suicidal." Leonardo told his brother.

Donatello growled in frustration. "Other Leonardo had something to live for. The other Raphael left, Leonardo had no choice but try to keep what was left of his family together because he was the oldest, he was the leader. Raph could live without her, he could be happy again one day, but gave up living the day she died, because he doesn't think he has anything to live for." He ground out. "Think back Leo, to that night. I felt the chains then, the binding she had placed on my heart and soul, I felt them snap when we re-entered our world. I only felt it for a moment before I died, but…I felt Raph. Sometimes I still feel him, the echo of his grief, and it is staggering. Remember back to Raph that night."

Leonardo had been grief-stricken and overwhelmed, but he tried to think back. His attention had been focused more on Donatello but then he remembered Raphael kneeling in the snow and then falling as if he too had died at that moment. He remembered his brother barely being able to crawl to Donatello's side.

"Katherine was trying to warn me, trying to tell me what was going on." Donatello said with frustration.

"Donny!" He growled.

"She's in my dreams Leo. Every night I dream of her." Donatello said as they rounded a corner.

"Every night?" Michelangelo asked in shock.

"Every night." Donatello confirmed. "I talk to her every night, but tonight, everything was different, and the dream turned into a nightmare." He shook his head.

"Our grief will get better, has gotten better. Even if we will never be able to love another woman, even if one could love us, for him, time will never temper his grief, ever. Couple that with Raph's loss of sight, broken body and his failure in keeping his promise to himself, his oath to the woman he loved, and wrap it into one giant ball of self pity and self hatred. He existed for her for almost 5 years and now he is done."

"But we can't know that for sure Donny." Michelangelo said softly. "Raph has never been the honourable type like Leo over here. I just can't picture Raph trying to end it all."

"We all failed her Donny, and that is a failure we are all going to have to live with for the rest of our lives." Leonardo said angrily, but then paused in thought. "Do you think he wants revenge like the other Raphael?" He finally asked.

"I don't think so Leo." Donatello said with a shake of his head. "Raphael might want revenge, but I don't think his heart is in it. I think he just wants the pain to stop."

"But killing himself won't stop the pain. He'll just end up in some Underworld with all of the pain still right there." Leonardo said to his brother.

"Not if he manages to find a god who will Destroy his soul, like what Darkness did to Katherine's." He said miserably.

Does anyone have any guesses as to what is going to happen? Do you think Katherine will make it back, will she still be sane?

Thoughts or opinions are always welcome!