Can you stay?

Its not so much in the words that you don`t say, its not when you act in your distant cold way, its more in your eyes how you look at me… like you no longer care for what see…

Ocelot walked inside, deliberately keeping his face leaned towards his side a little, to hide the mark left there by Volgin the previous night. Snake eyed him suspiciously before taking a step away from the wall and towards him.

"how have you been?"

"I should be the one asking that question." Snake said, narrowing his eyes at the disturbing way Ocelot was keeping his face. "what happened?"

"nothing." Ocelot said stiffly, not meeting the other`s gaze. Trying to change the subject he took out the cigar he had been saving for Snake, knowing full well about his affiliation with these things, "here." He placed it in his palm and held it out for him, wondering how long had it been since Snake had his last one.

Snake furrowed his eye brows at Ocelot`s outstretched hand, then realizing what he was giving him, he could hardly keep in the urge to jump up in delight. So many days had passed since Snake had one of those, all of his supply from the states had long been finished leaving him craving for more. He could barely mask the gratitude that flooded his eyes as he smiled up at the paler one. Ocelot gave a small nod, his features softening at the look on his face.

Snake took the stick from him and placed it between his teeth, holding his other hand for Ocelot to give him the lighter but Ocelot shook his head, a light smirk in place as he looked in the confused eyes, "I'll do it myself…" there was a small pause in which Snake stared at him incredulously, "…for all I know you might use it as a weapon."

Snake raised his eyebrows as he watched the other take a step closer to him, till he was standing just in front of him. Ocelot took out the small lighter and lifted his hand between him and the other, lighting it to make the other`s face glow commendably in the orange light. Just after a slight hesitant delay, Snake lowered his head slightly, eyes still locked with the other, so that the tip of the cigar was in place with the lighter. Ocelot`s whole Body seemed to stiffen when he felt the other`s cold breath on his hand as he took it out before taking a sharp intake. Snake looked down at the cigar and then up in his eyes again, for a moment Ocelot could sense something in the depth of those eyes, mock maybe, but it was gone once Snake slowly straightened up to be the taller again, still uncomfortably close. Ocelot moved his thumb away from the set off and pocketed the lighter, before running his hand through his hair as an excuse to look away. Snake didn't back away; neither could Ocelot find the will to, they kept standing there in an awkward silence as Snake whiffed in the stick in his teeth, eyes slightly narrowed as he tried to figure out why was the other keeping his face tilted.

Snake stepped on the cigar, crushing the remains between his foot and the ground; he looked up at Ocelot and smirked lightly, "thanks." He took a step back, "I needed that."

Ocelot tried to act indifferent, glancing down at his hand as he spoke, "forget it."

Snake shrugged and went back to his place, leaning against the wall. He observed the one still standing there with a lost air and asked, "why did you come here anyway?"

Ocelot`s eyes came back to focus as he looked up, "Volgin`s gone." Snake couldn`t have missed the relief in his tone and the long forgotten hatred started to blaze anew, "I thought it was a good time to share some information." Was it just him or did Ocelot`s voice seem a little too exhausted all of a sudden?

"what information? And for cryin` out loud what`s wrong with your head?" Snake could hardly control it when he saw Ocelot head lean to the side even more. The other quickly straightened up.

"what?" Ocelot asked, desperately trying to keep his voice above suspicion.

Snake narrowed his eyes, although the light in the room was not ample enough for him to see the other`s expressions clearly but his ears were sensitive enough to pick up the cautiousness in his tone. He straightened up, "is something wrong?" it seemed like the other was hiding something from him.

"nothing." Watching Snake on the verge of walking up to him, Ocelot unconsciously turned his head to the side again, trying to hide the slight abrasion. "what I came here to say was that the shago-"

"nothing?" Snake was vaguely aware of what Ocelot was saying as he took a few steps towards him and ultimately he was standing in front of the other again. Ocelot didn`t protest when Snake lifted his hand to place it beneath his chin and move his head gently to look at his grazed cheek. He couldn`t control the hatred that flooded through his body, the longing to hit Volgin was so strong that he forgot all about keeping it a secret that he knew of Ocelot`s torture, "why that son of a…" he hissed through clenched teeth as he touched the severe skin with his thumb, so softly that Ocelot could have easily assumed it to be his imagination.

Ocelot hadn`t seen any emotion so strong in someone`s eyes, the anger that flashed in those orbs was almost radiating as the other`s gaze frantically searched his face for any other signs of the abuse. "it`s nothing." he said slowly, voice barely above a whisper. He didn't make any attempt to release the other`s hold on his chin.

Snake averted his gaze from his face to his eyes, expression`s softening unintentionally as he eased his brow, trying hard to maintain a hold on his self control. Ocelot couldn`t possibly have missed the change in his demeanor, that only made him more cautious as he furrowed his eyebrows questioningly.

There was a small pause after which Snake slowly lifted his other hand too, eyes silently asking the other`s permission, and placed it on the other side of his face to make Ocelot look at him. Ocelot didn`t know what to do, he couldn`t stop what was going to happen, couldn`t stop his yearning, so he just closed his eyes slowly and gave in to the moment, feeling his heart hammer madly in his chest.

Snake stroked the side of his face as gratitude before leaning forward slowly, holding his breath as he positioned his lips over the other`s. Ocelot`s lips were cold, numb, and the other was so gentle as if afraid he might cause him more pain. Inwardly, some part of Ocelot despised being treated like a vulnerable person but he was contented with that in this case, he knew Snake was more powerful.

He didn`t want to be like Volgin, he wanted to repay him for what he had done for him. It was only a small hesitant contact before Snake pulled back, not sure of what he had just done. Ocelot looked up to meet his gaze doubtfully; he searched those eyes for something, Snake stared back, apology hidden in the depths. Ocelot blinked and turned his head in the other direction; Snake retreated his hands from his face miserably and placed them back to his side. He knew that Ocelot would think he was like Volgin now, he didn`t want that to happen, knowing full well that what he had done was wrong. Ocelot sighed slowly before looking up to meet the other`s eyes again, he found what he was looking for and turned around, leaving the other standing there alone and dejected. He knew exactly what Snake was feeling right now, his every step caused him a stab in the heart, but he knew he had to do it before everything turned out to be more painful. This could not work out, never for them. It was with great difficulty that he opened the glass door, locking Snake`s cell behind him. He turned his head back to take a last look at the soldier who was standing on the exact same spot as before, his head hanging down and shoulders limp. Ocelot pursed his lips and closed his eyes for a moment before walking along the corridor that led out of the prison.

I don`t know what i`d do if I ever lost you and all the loneliness I would go through, but if you wanna leave I won`t stop you…

Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is you.

Yeah so i know its a little too out of hand but whatever. i couldn`t come up with anything better. The name and all is even worse, but hey... lets just spare the poor author who`s been going through hell these days. no?

oh and yeah about the cheesy stuff, i would love some suggestions about the names of previous chapters and some random fluff. Have Fun! ^_^