The Disturbing Consequences of Boredom

By Gecko

Hawkgirl was bored.

It had been an unusually slow day. Crime, it seemed, had taken the day off.

It was not like there was anyone to talk to, either.

Superman and Flash were off doing their day jobs; J'onn was off meditating somewhere; Green Lantern was doing Green Lantern stuff; Wonder Woman was nowhere to be found (Hawkgirl had started to search for her but had given up after ten minutes); and Batman was (much to his chagrin) on monitor duty, and any conversation soon died.

So, there she was, sitting in front of one of the smaller monitors, browsing the internet.

She had started by typing in 'Hawkgirl', and the first site that came up was titled 'The Shrine of Hawkgirl'.

Amused, Hawkgirl browsed the site until she inevitably came to the Links page, which lead to more Hawkgirl fan sites, which lead to Justice League fan sites, until finally, she discovered fanfiction.

The page seemed to be a list of titles with a short summary underneath. The first one read:

True Love by lady bats

Summary: Is it possible for two heroes to find true love? Batflash. ya i no i suck at sumaries.

'Yes, you do,' Hawkgirl agreed. She began to ponder the word Batflash. What did it mean? Batman and Flash melded together to create a horrifying and disfigured monster? A cheerfully intimidating red speedy bat?

Somehow, Hawkgirl doubted it.

She opened the story and read . . . and read . . . and her eyes widened . . . and she burst into hysterical laughter.

A little ways away, sitting at the main monitors, Batman gave her a sideways look.

'I don't want to know.'

Hawkgirl, meanwhile, had fallen off her chair and was trying to breath.

"Diana!" she gasped into her comm. link (she briefly wondered why she had not tried calling Diana with it before), "Come quickly!"

Diana, as it turned out, had been soaking in the bath when Hawkgirl called. She jumped out and grabbed the comm. link that had been lying on the counter and put it in her ear.

"Hawkgirl! What's wrong?! Where are you?"

"The Monitor Room!"

"I'm on my way!" Diana quickly got dressed and flew as fast as she could to the Monitor Room. She burst in, ready for battle . . . and found Hawkgirl carrying a second chair over to her monitor. She did not look in the least bit of distress. On the contrary, she had a look of complete glee on her face.

"Hawkgirl?" Diana asked warily, walking towards her. "Is everything alright?"

Hawkgirl's grin broadened. "Oh yes. Everything perfectly alright."

"Then why . . . ?"

Hawkgirl patted the second chair. "Come. Sit," she commanded.

Diana did so, feeling extremely confused. Hawkgirl pointed at the screen.

"Read."

Diana read. "Great Hera!" she gasped, before covering her mouth with her hands to stifle a giggle. She read on, and before she knew it, she was red in the face, her shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

Later

Batman was in torture.

For the past few minutes the two women had been giggling every few seconds and send him not-so-subtle glances.

'I am Batman. I don't want to know. I will not ask. I am Batman! I AM THE NIGHT! THE CAPED CRUSADER! I WILL NOT –'

"What are you doing?"

'Dammit.'

Hawkgirl and Wonder Woman looked at him, and then Hawkgirl rolled her chair back and gestured to the screen, inviting him to look. Batman went over and read.

His eyes narrowed; and slowly, his face turned beet red. Batman turned and stalked out of the room.

"Oh dear," Diana said, "I don't think he's very happy. Who's going to do Monitor Duty? I don't think he's coming back."

Hawkgirl shrugged. "We can do it. It's not like anything's been happening today anyway."

Later

"I don't think that's physically possible . . . ."

"That is disgusting. Let's skip this one."

Flash zipped into the room and stopped behind Hawkgirl and Diana. He leaned over their shoulders, grinning. "Hello ladies, what are . . . you . . ." He trailed off as he read what was on the screen, and turned green. "I . . . can't . . . bend that way!" He rushed from the room, and he did not return until several days later, when it was his turn for Monitor Duty.

Later

"Hera. I had no idea men could get pregnant."

"It must be a Green Lantern thing."

Later

"HRRRAAAAHHHH!"

SMASH!

"Hawkgirl!"

"How dare they think that we would –"

"Hawkgirl, it's really not that big of a deal. On Themyscira, it was quite common for–"

Meanwhile, in the Batcave

Batman smirked in triumph as he closed the website. He leaned back in his chair and watched from a separate window as Diana attempted to stop Hawkgirl from completely destroying the Monitor Room.

He knew he would have to pay for the damage, but . . .

Revenge was sweet.

Very.

The End!

(Or is it?)

A/N: Random . . . maybe a bit out of character . . . but really fun to write. I imagine people would have written fanfiction about them in their world, since people write fanfiction about real people here (even though they're not supposed to). I'm thinking of maybe possibly posting a second chapter . . . sort of like a closing one, like I did in The Ultimate Question (or Better Left Alone). We shall see . . . .