CHAPTER 13

There was this same persistent warmth; the feeling was too real to be in his imagination. It had some odd sense of familiarity to it, like it was his personal radiator. All his.

To his great annoyance, what happened was the same as he had dreaded. It was over, the comfort was gone as soon as he had moved and he hated himself for that. He hated himself for having turned off his source of his ease.

Opening his eyes he found himself lying in the same room, facing the ceiling. He turned his head to the side and found himself coerced with an IV on his left forearm. He grunted and tried to sit up, glowering at the stupid glucose bag. He knew better than to force it off and face the consequences so he just sat there staring at the falling drops and willed it to move faster.

He didn`t know how long he had been unconscious this time but he found it a little irritating that Ocelot still hadn`t showed up. He didn`t know why but some part of him had hoped that Ocelot be the first person to tend to him since it was his fault in the first place. Also because he wanted him to. He shook his head and concentrated on looking at the pale ceiling. Not sure why he was secretly peeking at the main door from the corner of his eyes.

Eva walked in and he was desperately fighting the urge to burry his face in the pillow.

"what`s with the supplement?" She asked, nodding towards the IV.

Snake shrugged. She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, "you refused to eat, didn`t you?"

"Its better this way." He said gruffly.

"oh no its not." She placed her hands at her sides and glared at him, "this will only cause delays."

"I know." He sighed, giving in, "but I don`t feel like eating anything."

"Well, you`ll have to change your mind about that." She walked up closer to his bed and nudged his legs aside, earning a wince from him which she merely ignored. She then sat up in her previous position. Snake looked longingly at the chair again. "Because this thing will be off in a few hours and we can`t afford another one."

He sighed again, trying to steer the conversation away from himself, "what about major Zero and the others? What is the USSR planning?"

"oh that?" he expected her to show apprehension but she was oddly at ease, "I talked to him just last night, he said that as soon as you flight from here, you`ll be sent a rescue. And no need to worry about an atomic war at the time at least." She patted his leg, in a way she assumed was comforting, "Volgin hasn`t told the government that the State`s spy has been caught," She grimaced, "he wants to have his share of fun before making it official."

Snake clenched his fists at his sides. Fun? Was that what he was doing to Ocelot, taking away the life out of him. fun? He shut his eyes tightly for a second and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

When he spoke, his voice was harsh, unknown, "I`m sorry Eva but I need some time." She stared at him confusedly so he added grudgingly, "alone."

She nodded understandingly and hopped off the bed. Smiling, she bent down to him and kissed his cheek before strolling away. She didn`t notice him wipe his face roughly.

It was only a while later when Sergeikh walked in, placing a couple of tablets on the table at his side. He said that Snake would take them only if he ate something. Even though Snake had insisted upon making the drip a little quicker but the medic promptly refused and left him alone again.

Snake closed his eyes and tried to ease the creases on his forehead. After a while he felt himself considerably better. All he did now was sit there and wait. He didn`t know what he was waiting for but he waited. It was a long, very long, wait.

The IV was left one fourth now and he couldn`t bring himself to look away from the dripping liquid. He wouldn`t have been able to turn his head away even if a bullet was fired just a few paces but this was not the case. A bullet was never fired but his head snapped back to the door instinctively and he was not so much surprised when it creaked open only a fraction of a second later.

Ocelot walked just as lithely as ever. If Snake didn`t know better, he`d say that he looked even better in the light after all this time.

"a Guerrilla attack." The new comer said slowly, walking up to the bed. He eyed Snake from top to bottom, eyes tightening when they passed the wounded leg, before he dropped gracefully into the chair placed at his bed.

Snake raised his eyebrows at him. The other just leaned back in his seat and looked back wearily.

"how are you?" Ocelot asked quietly, trying to keep his eyes locked with the others.

"great." Snake muttered sarcastically before turning his head to the other side, looking at the drip again.

Ocelot was silent for a long time, thoughtful. He spoke again, his tone casual, "you could have saved yourself the trouble and eaten something."

Snake made a disapproving low and hoarse sound at the back of his throat, still refusing to look at the pale`s face.

When he didn`t reply, Ocelot tried another approach, "you know you can`t take the medicines with an empty stomach?"

"yeah." Snake said bitterly in his same deep husky voice.

Ocelot moved his head sideways in disapproval before getting up from the chair and looking through the options of things to eat on the table.

"here." He held out a wrapped sandwich to Snake, it was more of an order than an offer.

Snake picked up the commanding edge and turned his head to glare at him, he didn`t even spare a glance in the direction of the edible being held his way. "no."

Ocelot narrowed his eyes threateningly, "take it." He said with forced calm, "eat it so that you can have these medicines."

Snake looked away again, "why do you care anyway?"

It was annoying him the way the other kept looking away, "Snake," he said through clenched teeth, "don`t act like a kid. Just take it, okay?"

Snake didn`t look at him, he didn`t know why he was feeling so angry all of a sudden. It was painful, "what`s it to you how I act?" He spat each word venomously as he turned to face him, "if you cared so much, why weren`t you here earlier? Where were you yesterday? You could have spared me some of your precious time and forced my pitiful body to eat earlier. It's not like I need any help from you now."

Ocelot`s irises constricted and his jaw flexed, other than that he didn`t show any signs that he had heard what had been directed at him.

Snake regretted saying that just as soon as it had left his lips. He could not bear the look in those eyes so he conveniently turned away again.

It was a long, cold, silence. Ocelot had the sandwich still clasped in his vice grip as he let out a ragged breath and took a step back to drop into the chair he had vacated earlier. He closed his eyes, jaw still tightened against his best of efforts, and took a few deep, calming breaths.

"Look," He began in a somewhat controlled voice, "it would be better if you could just make it easier for both of us and have a bite."

"easier?" He turned back, narrowing his eyes, "easier?" He gestured towards himself mockingly, "does this look easy to you?" He turned away again and said coldly, "you can`t remove the mark by stitching a wounded limb, so I`d appreciate it if you didn`t try."

A small sigh was heard.

Snake didn`t look back, it was admirable how Ocelot had held back after his outburst. Who was he to decide if Ocelot should or shouldn`t have visited him. Wasn`t it enough what was already been directed at him. Guilt brewed up inside. It was probably the first time he felt towards someone an anger even greater than that towards the Colonel. Himself. He wanted to disappear, to cry out at the pain that was clawing at his chest. He was stiff for another while before he gritted his teeth and pulled out the needle from his skin harshly, ignoring the sudden jolt of pain it cost him. It caused a spurt of blood to escape through the opened vessel. The glucose kept dripping from the needle at the same sluggish pace.

Ocelot let out a vexed bark of anger as he flashed to Snake`s other side and placed his hand hysterically against the newly ripped skin. "fuck, fuck, fuck…." He muttered uncontrollably as he looked around desperately for anything to stop the bleeding.

Snake, on the other hand, was contented with what he had done, he deserved it. He was almost smug. What he didn`t deserve was the way the other pressed his cold hand against his arm, it was as if he wanted to absorb the pain in himself.

The hand still intent in place, Ocelot made a grab for the tissue box on the table and replaced his bloodied up hand with that, gently rubbing it with shaking hands. The cursing under his breath continued. He looked up at Snake, too shaken to form a proper glare, "what the fuck were you thinking?" He hissed, looking down again and tightening his jaw when he saw the blood trickling again. He kept muttering under his breath, most of what Snake did understand were abusive words for addressing him, while stroking the arm, his face constricted in a mixture of pain and anger.

Snake pulled his arm away from his grasp and looked down at the mark left there oozing blood. He then placed a tissue over it and looked up at a fretted Ocelot again, "I`ll eat." Ocelot glared at him, narrowing his eyes. It seemed like his jaws were glued shut. He looked down at all the blood mixed with glucose at the floor and another train of incoherent insults started to escape through his lips, this time Snake realized that he was cursing himself.

"What`s your problem?" Snake felt better after giving himself a piece of his mind and he wasn`t going to get it ruined again.

Ocelot didn`t reply as he walked back to his seat and fell into it like his legs had given way. He leaned back and rubbed his temples in agony. He took a few deep breaths to clear his mind before raising his eyes to the others, "don'-" he began in a shaky voice, "Don`t you ever do that again." His voice held nothing but sheer helplessness and desperation, it was completely unguarded for once. A soft plea.

Snake just looked down at his arm wearily before holding up his hand from the blood and looking at Ocelot with raised eyebrows. "this?" he nodded towards the wet tissue, "its not happening again."

Ocelot took out a new sandwich and leaned forwards to hand it to Snake. The other took it and grabbed a small bite. It tasted like dry sand against his weakened tongue, for a moment he regretted having pulled out the IV but seeing the look in the other`s intent eyes watching him, kept him going on. He stopped for water after the third bite, drowning the contents thankfully.

Ocelot kept observing, leaning his back against the chair. After finishing half of it, Ocelot could see the reluctance with which he had gulped down each bite, Snake placed the rest on the table. If it wouldn`t have been necessary, Ocelot would never have made the other go through what he had. Snake closed his eyes and leaned his head back, "look," he began slowly, not recognizing his own exhausted voice, "I`m sorry." He said slowly, "I shouldn`t have said that. I`m just-" he felt a cold set of fingers touch his lips lightly and he shivered from the impact. He stopped but was too weary to open his eyes and look.

Ocelot could feel the hot breath on his hand and fought with the urge to keep it there even after the other stopped. He knew Snake was too tired to protest and carry on so he sat back in his chair and said nothing. When Snake didn`t say anything for a long time, he understood that the other was more or less sleeping.

Sergeikh showed up and demanded to know what had happened so Ocelot told him about Snake taking the IV off and insisting on eating instead. He wasn`t satisfied but didn`t dwell on it for too long. A janitor was ordered to clean the mess up which he did and left without a single word.

AN: sorry sorry sorrrrrrryyyy!
i`m so sorrryyy that it took too long to get updated but i was going through the most important exams of my life. I posted this chapter longer and will be updating soon. forgive me and leave a review to let me know how you think it`s going so far. thank you for reading it. *takes a deep bow*
sorry, again. i just can`t help feeling bad. but i just couldn`t help it. =/