Chapter one

Growing up, my family really didn't display affection. There were no hugs or kisses on the forehead, just firm handshakes for a job well done, and those were rare enough.

I don't think I ever truly understood what I was missing till I was transferred to Sunnydale. Everyone was always hugging, kissing and complimenting, even when mistakes were made or anger was felt. Buffy, Giles, the Scoobies, Mrs. Summers, and Dawn were a family. Maybe not by blood, but truer devotion was never witnessed than among that group. I might not have been fully accepted, but there were times when even I felt that I was cared for.

That was something I thought I'd loose when I was fired for being a failure. I was shunned from my family for bringing disgrace upon them, and none of whom I considered my friends would condescend to speak with me. Then I moved to Los Angeles.

Angel is never one for showing much affection unless it is self pity, but in her own way, Cordelia did her best to make me feel welcomed, especially with it being so soon after Doyle had passed. We worked hard and gained more friends in Gunn, Loren and eventually Fred.

Fred was a shining star, albeit a quirky one. She looked for the good in everyone, including Spike. Even after I made the grave error of kidnapping Connor, she displayed kindness. Though she didn't comprehend my actions, she attempted to give me the benefit of the doubt. I fell in love with her, it was difficult not to, but for all my revelation I was too late in the telling. My beautiful star was extinguished much to soon and her body made a shell to house an ancient goddess. Having to watch her body walk around daily was torture, but in the end I came to terms with Illyria. Being that she is in the States, with Angel, doesn't hurt matters either.

For all the glory that she was and more, I shall never forget my Fred. Times change though, and with them we must follow. That would be how I find myself sitting in one of Oxford's libraries waiting for Dawn to return with drinks. She is such an intelligent girl, and so very full of life. I hear her laughter, and shake my head smiling. She is about the only person who wouldn't get kicked out of a library for laughing so loudly. Dawn is quite the talker and seems to have everyone wrapped around her finger, including me.

I love her laugh, and her smile. I find myself unable to stay mad at her for long. For when she smiles in my direction all anger seems to float away. I am so proud of all she has accomplished in such a short amount of time. One day she will make an excellent watcher, better than any other. Some would say I am biased on that account, but those some have yet to meet my pupil and experience her very essence.

"Hey watcher-man, what has you all zombified?" Dawn asks, making me jump out of my reverie. When I don't answer her right away, she begins to sound worried, "Wes?"

I put on my best impersonation of a smile, "I can assure all is well, my dear." I can see by her raised eyebrow that she doesn't quite believe me. "Honest Dawn, I'm alright. I was just thinking is all."

She places her hand over mine and shares a look of understanding. Somehow she knows that I don't wish to discuss it and lets the subject drop. "So you ready to practice manipulating the elements?"

With a faux sigh of exasperation I reply, "As ready as I'll ever be, I suppose."

"Great," She says, sharing with me that special, one of a kind smile. God how I wish I could capture that smile in a way that would do it justice, just so I could view it whenever I pleased. Oh what a gift that would be.

AN: Hey all, I just want to apologize for it being almost if not a year since I have written anything at all. There hasn't been a tone of inspiration flowing around her. Yesterday thought, I had a stroke of thought hit me. I hope to finish this story by the end of this year so cross your fingers. And being that it is the first day of September, and my nan passed away one year ago this month, I would like to dedicated this chapter and the rest of the story in her name. Nan, thank you for all the encouragement you gave me throughout the years. You are sorely missed.

Please R&R, I tend to update quicker if that's any motivation. 