Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. All recognizable plot and characters belong to the talented Stephanie Meyer.
Please review!
Christmas in the Whitlock home was interesting and the most fun I'd had. Peter and Jasper went out for a tree while Char and I made decorations. We strung up lights and decorated it with our homemade ornaments. We hung stockings with our names stitched on them over the fireplace and then sang Christmas carols. After my dinner, we watched old Christmas movies until midnight when we opened our stockings of gifts. We had only been allowed to spend fifty dollars on each other; all the rest of the 'Christmas Fund' went to a charity of the winner's choice, winner of what I still wasn't sure.
Char opened hers first and pulled out a beautiful silver bracelet I had found in town and a tube of paint and a brush from Jasper and Peter. At my confused expression, she told me that "Gifts that don't fit in the stocking have to be represented somehow."
Peter shrugged. "They get presented last." He seemed to shift, unsure of himself though I wasn't sure why.
"Ok. Your turn." I told him smiling.
Peter got a silver superman belt buckle from me, a golf ball from Jazz, I wasn't sure what the significance was but they exchanged a mischievous look I knew spelled trouble and he got a little box from Char I didn't ask about, judging from his smile I really didn't want to know.
"Bella?" Jasper turned to me.
"You first." I told him blushing. He shook his head so I opened my stocking and found a beautiful soft leather bound journal from Jasper, a pair of white gold earrings from Char and a folded piece of paper from Peter that was a picture of the night sky.
I frowned at him but he just winked, "You'll see." He looked nervous again but quickly hid it as he turned to Jasper, "You go."
Peter and Char gave Jasper a picture of his own helmet that they had gotten decorated with Major Whitlock on the back in blue lettering with blue fire all around. To which Char explained that Jasper's greatest city life joy was his Ducati. I blushed as he opened my gift and felt a wave of gratitude and pleasure come from him. I had found a photo of a large old maple tree on a farm and put it on the front of a maple memory box, under the photo, I had inscribed; In the wind through the leaves I hear you whisper your wisdom.
"I thought you might have broken memories of your own worth keeping safe." I whispered.
"Thank you Darlin." The emotions he sent with the words filled me with joy. I had been nervous about the gift and was glad he liked it.
"Char's turn." Peter spoke up.
"Right." Jasper carefully set the box on the coffee table and took her hand, they led us up to Jasper's room and in the center was a beautiful new easel and paints.
She hugged them both excitedly and went to run her fingers over the wood while I looked around Jasper's study. I'd never been in here before. It had a couch and two chairs, a coffee table and a large desk and every inch of wall space asides from a small gas fireplace was shelves full of books.
"As interesting as this peak into our great Major's mind is. I do believe you still have a gift." Peter told me pulling my hand. He stopped us at the door and handed me a jacket. He hesitated before opening the door as he led us out. "It's ok if you don't like it."
"I'm sure I'll love it." I smiled at him. Outside a battered telescope had been set near the lake, "You got me a telescope?" I asked, a little confused.
"No." He laughed, it's mine, I just brought it from the stopping cabin." He pulled me gently over to the telescope and looked in it then motioned me to look.
As I did he spoke, "I don't remember my past really well, I don't even know my last name. All that I remember is that I was married for a short time to a native girl I had loved since I was a kid. She was very sick for a time and died not long after we'd married. The only thing I remember about her at all is how tiny a woman she was as she lay in that bed. Not her name or her voice or why I'd loved her, just that I did, with everything I was I loved all of her. I do remember the preacher told me after she died that 'The Loved are with us though they die, we think of them as in the sky. They are with us in the loneliest spot and in the greatest crowd, we forget them not.' I saw that quote once and the memory came back clear as yesterday. I didn't understand what he'd meant so I asked her brother about it that same night and he said that all I had to do was look to the sky at night and I would see the light of her love shining down on me from heaven. After that, for a long time, I'd watch the stars and they reminded me that I was never alone."
I had stopped looking at the stars as he spoke and now stood looking at him, "That's beautiful."
"I always thought when you died your soul became a star." He told me sheepishly, "I might never die and hell if I perish I'd probably be going the other way. I do know what it is to lose the people you love and to feel alone. I also know that because of Jasper I have a name and a brother, a life and a mate. My eternity will never be spent alone and while I don't remember her much, my wife is always with me to. Having loved her and the memory of her love for me helps me to be a better man and better mate to my Char."
I swiped at the tears as he moved to pick up a box from the ground. "This is to remind you that whatever you choose, you will never live one day alone and you will never be without Esme Carlie.
I opened the box he handed me and looked inside, there was a framed picture of the night sky with a star circled with the name Esme Carlie next to it. The bottom of the frame was inscribed with, The loved are with us though they die, we think of them as in the sky. The light of their love, like the stars, shines down on us to remember.
"I had that star named after Esme Carlie. So you can always look up at the sky and see your daughter and remember that she is always with you in the darkest night or the lightest hour."
I hugged him crying. "Thank you.
"I'm as selfish as my mate and want to keep you but whatever you decide, you are never and will never be alone." He whispered back.
Once I had pulled myself together and away from him, we went back inside where Char insisted I drink a cup of hot cocoa to warm up. I fell asleep as Jasper's soothing voice read A Christmas Carol.
I couldn't have dreamed of a better Christmas. It was simple, beautiful and heartfelt, just the four of us together. We were family.
In the morning when I woke up it was apparently time for the game. Jasper and Peter would fight it out in the yard and the first one fully submerged in the lake lost. Winner picked the Christmas Charity. They were almost to fast to watch but it was hilarious.
"Watch the fish Pete." I called as the sparing led them to the shallow water. He growled but I had successfully distracted him for the millisecond it took for Jasper to fling him into the middle of the lake. I laughed and bolted inside to hide from Peter who was grumbling about cheating women. I let Char consol him.
"Well Darlin, which charity shall we choose?" Jasper asked sitting on the couch near me.
"You won." I shrugged.
"You helped." He winked.
"You'd have won anyways."
He turned to smile at me, "Still like your input."
"Well it's Christmas, how about you donate it to something like building homes for families who can't afford a proper roof for their children let alone presents."
"That's a great idea Darlin." I'll look into it; find a family that really deserves it.
"What's wrong Jazz?"
He frowned at me, "Nothin."
"Jasper?"
"How do you do that? I know I'm not projecting."
"I don't really know. It's in your body language, in your eyes and I just feel like there is something, maybe you are subconsciously projecting or something."
"The Cullen's want us to spend New Year's with them. They asked me to ask you."
I hesitated, "I don't think I'm ready."
"What are you hiding from?"
I sighed and leaned into his shoulder, "I love them so much but I still feel so hurt by them. I still don't understand how they seem to love me so much and to want me but how easy it was for them to just leave and not look back."
"Are you angry with them?"
"I'm sad with them if that makes sense. I'm angry and hurt about Edward, what he did, destroying my few special memories like that, I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive it and that doesn't even begin to touch on the way he left me and took all of you. I never wanted not to talk to any of them. It hurt when he left, it nearly killed me that the rest did."
"And me?"
"You are my island in the storm." I told him with a sigh. "You, Pete and Char are everything to me. My family. You bring me peace and love and you ease all the pain and sorrow of my life." His arm tightened around me and I sighed again, "Will you do it now Jazz. Here while I feel nothing but the peace of us."
"Are you sure?" He asked, turning me to look in my eyes, knowing what I was saying without asking.
I nodded, "I don't want to forget the past but I'm ready to move on from it. I have a new family. One I don't ever want to lose. I've lost enough family. So have you, Char and Pete. Wherever life takes us all, it should be together."
He turned me gently and our eyes met. "I'm sorry." He whispered.
I reached out, tracing his cheekbone with my fingertips, I knew he was apologizing for the pain, maybe even for wanting to turn me, to take away the prospect of peace in death, "There is nothing to forgive." I knew everything I was losing, but what I was keeping, what I was gaining, was worth the risk. The Whitlock's were worth it.
Jasper pulled me gently into his arms and flooded me with peace, relaxation and euphoria. I never felt his teeth puncture the delicate skin of my neck.
I felt flames licking through my veins and embraced them, I let them cleanse me of the pain while reminding me of all the people I had loved, I let the flames burn the memories into me, embracing the change they would bring. I refused to scream. I was burning in the deepest fires of hell, I was mourning and letting go of the past, and through it all I felt the hope for a future with my family; the love of Char, my light in the darkness and the peace of Jasper, my island in the storm.