Possibly Sam

Chapter 8

I don't own Moonlight or its characters. I just want to help Mick and Josef resolve their issues, and I appreciate any and all feedback. – VR/Penina

We got home before daybreak. Josef told me to go to bed and walked into Sarah's room. I heard the door close when the nurse left. He wouldn't have wanted her here in the morning when Sam and Francis came. One of the things Josef had to do yesterday before we left Los Angeles was have his New York business liaison order a new freezer unit for his Waverly Place Brownstone. I was grateful it had arrived on time. Josef and I were close, but not that close. I carried it into the second bedroom. I set it down and plugged it in, then made sure I could find the latch before I undressed. Thankfully, it had a Plexiglas lid, so I could see where I was when I awoke.

Blackout curtains hid the rising sun but I knew when it was dawn. Josef's extra years gave him the strength to resist its power, but I was soon out. When I awoke and pushed open the lid of my freezer, Josef was sitting up beside me. "It's three in the afternoon," he said. "Time to do what Sam said." I looked at him, wondering if he was going to be disappointed. "I spent the rest of last night holding her and talking to her, telling her what we were going to try. If part of her can hear me, even if she can't respond, I had to prepare her for what we're going to do. If you think this is going to be hard for me, imagine what it must be like for her." I felt the grief and the hope in his voice. "I stole her life."

"That was never what you meant to do," I said for the countless time. "I'll help myself to some of your extra stock for breakfast. Then, I'm going to shower and call Beth," I said, and climbed out of my freezer.

"It's in the fridge," Josef said while I opened my suitcase and retrieved my bathrobe. "You'll find it." His bathrobe was in the closet. He visited Sarah frequently. He told me they were business trips, but I'm sure Sarah was always part of it. Josef's was a love for the ages. If only Sarah knew it.

While I let the water jets in the shower stream over me, I thought of Francis and his love for Sam. That was a love for the ages too. Who knew how many centuries or more they had known each other, yet he had never tried to turn Sam. Or maybe he had. Maybe Sam had been like Sarah and couldn't be changed. I shook my head. It was not a question I'd ever ask Francis. Speaking of love, I had to hear Beth's voice. If only she could accept what I was entirely, with all of its aspects. I didn't feel guilty about last night, but Beth would see it as cheating on her, just when we were getting closer.

It would take time to make her understand. Sustenance was the main reason we fed, but the closeness we needed with the living was a big part of it. Joy was inherent in the act when a vampire drinks from a human. Swallowing blood wasn't supposed to be like taking medicine, as Josef reminded me often enough. I'd been treating it that way for 22 years. Beth, I thought. How am I ever going to get you to understand this? Difficult, dangerous and complicated was how I'd explained vampire human relationships. We were still fragile together. In my mind, with the water beating down, I went over how I'd tell her I still had to be close to others to feed properly. Even though I could finally do so without fear, Beth would see my face buried in a woman's wrist or neck as betraying her. I looked at the ceiling as if the answers were written there. They weren't.

Dried and dressed, I found the phone in its re-charger where I'd left it before I prepared for sleep. I pressed the number to her office and was greeted by Beth's secretary. Beth got on seconds later. "Mick," she said, a little breathless. "How is it going?"

"Well, we met Francis at Sam's last night. I'll tell you about him when we get back. He's quite, well, interesting."

"I can imagine. Did Sam agree to try to help?" She knew enough not to get specific or say the wrong words.

"They both did, and try is the operative word here. We don't know if it's going to work. Josef is leaving everything in their hands, doing exactly what they tell him to do. You know what it's like to get Josef to trust anyone? We went out for drinks last night and to get dinner for Sam. Josef let Francis treat without an argument."

"Wow!" She was quiet for a moment. "He must be pretty impressive."

"Yeah. He is. Josef is doing his best to explain everything to Sarah now." She knew what I meant. "Is everything all right on your end?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary." We were speaking in code for nothing involving vampires. It sounded like an ordinary conversation. Thank goodness for Beth, I thought. She was one in a million.

"Well, I guess I have to get back to work," she said reluctantly. She couldn't ask the questions she wanted to ask and it was driving her crazy. "Do you know when you're coming home?"

"Not for sure, but probably tomorrow evening. Depending on how it goes, Josef might stay here longer. I can fly commercial if I need to."

"Just be careful," she said. "Be careful for Josef." She meant she hoped he wouldn't lose it if nothing could be done for Sarah, and that he wouldn't take it out on me for suggesting what Sam might be able to do."

"I will," I said. "I miss you. See you in a few days, okay?"

We ended it there. I hadn't told her yet that I love her. Although I admitted it to myself and to Josef, even to Francis, it scared me to take our relationship to the next level. I wondered if it scared her too. She knew about Sarah. What if we tried to make it work and she agreed to join me as a vampire? What if I ended up losing her like Josef lost Sarah? If I admitted to my love and told her so, we'd have to stop dancing around the issue. I couldn't be like Francis was with Sam, not interfering, just visiting her in each of the many lives she would live in the future. I couldn't even think like that.

Josef came out of the shower, dressed and drying his hair. "Well, she's as prepared as I can make her," he said.

"Did you have breakfast?" I asked.

"I took a few sips from Sarah. Sam told me he and I are going to have to exchange blood to try to make this thing work."

"Wow!" I said. "You and Francis both get to have him, and I'm out in the cold."

Josef smirked, but I didn't mind. If I could get his mind off Sarah for a few minutes, I was doing well. "I didn't know you thought of him that way."

"Let's just say I thought of him that way before we ever said hello."

Josef's eyes opened a bit wider and his smile broadened. "There are things about you, my friend, that you kept hidden from me all these years. Who would have thought?"

I went out for a walk, to buy the Wall Street Journal. Josef would want to check the business section. I found one at a newsstand in an office building on Lexington Avenue. The trees had that beautiful shade of green when the leaves were new. Lilacs were blooming on the side streets, in front of the houses and apartment buildings. The New York air smelled like paradise over subway exhaust. Instead of newspapers, I remembered when I would flip on my cell phone ten times a day to check out breaking news on Buzzwire. Of course, I was just looking on the chance that Beth was broadcasting. Those days were over now that she worked for Talbot at the ADA's office. When I turned into Waverly Place, I saw Francis' BMW parked in front of the house. It was now or never. I could imagine what Josef was going through, and the effort it cost him to remain calm.

When I let myself in, Sam came over to me. I couldn't help sniffing for Josef's smell on him. "Not yet," Sam said. Every time he did that, it made me jump mentally. He was hearing my thoughts. "Come with me."

He brought me to the far corner of the living room. The furniture here was comfortable and had been dusted frequently. Sarah's nurses did not have to do much for her. It was a cushy job if you didn't mind dealing with a live dead body eight hours a day. "Francis is examining Sarah now. He used to be a doctor and he keeps up with what's been discovered in the last few centuries."

"What do you think?" I asked.

"My best guess at this point is that she's dead. Her body hasn't decomposed, but there's no heartbeat or lung action. Her hair hasn't grown. She's in a death sleep, but you have no beating heart or breathing lungs either and you're conscious. It's hard to say when there are no signs. I can't guess at the chances of her waking up. It would take a miracle."

I covered my eyes. "He knows that. It's what he wants."

"I'm not saying it can't happen, but that's up to the Creator. Would you like to help?"

"Of course I want to help, if there's anything I can do."

"I brought one of my guitars and my water drum. I'll play the drum and do the calling chant. If Sarah's ghost hears it, she will come and Josef will be able to talk to her. I don't know if she'll enter her body or not. Stay with me on the guitar. Keep the beat and don't stop playing until I tell you to." I nodded. Sam was the boss here. Even Francis would defer to him in this. "Do you want to see and hear everything I do?"

"Is that possible? Of course I do."

"Then we can arrange it. You'll have to take some of my blood, just a few sips. You can do that, can't you?"

My mouth watered in anticipation, but just looking at him did that. Sam must have been reading my mind again. "After last night, I can. I didn't have a chance to tell you, but I found a way to become temporarily human. It only lasted for a week before I asked Josef to turn me back. It's a long story. Francis sensed that I'm in Josef's bloodline now, and that makes a huge difference in my control. I'm sure I can limit myself to a few sips." I held out one hand expecting him to give me his wrist.

"No." Why not? I thought. "I have to play and I can't if my wrist hurts." I held out both arms this time, and he walked into my embrace. It felt so good to hold him close once more. "Do it now, my friend," Sam said

It was over too soon. "I missed you," I admitted, licking my lips. "You're so delicious. It must be the maple syrup. You had pancakes for breakfast."

He chuckled. "I missed you too." We were both still smiling when we left the living room, but we did our best to look serious when we let ourselves into Sarah's bedroom.