Castiel stared at the words in his book as he tried to make heads and tails of it, nothing seemed to have much sense these days not since Dean had introduced him into the world of Sex. Although they had not 'gone all the way' as some put it he always felt on slight edge never to sure what might happen next with Dean. Not that he regretted it, how could he? The feelings were unbelievable and half the time he yearned for him but… he was too shy to ask. Do people normally ask? Or does it just happen? Sure he had considered asking Gabriel but before he had even let the words out he stopped. Did he honestly want his Brother to know about what he and Dean were up too? No, that would be awkward. If he knew Gabriel whom he did very well his Brother would never give him peace, not to mention he had quite lifted the curfew. Finally Castiel closed the book the sound making Jimmy jump in his lap; the cat's blue eyes stared at him as if he was annoyed for being woken up. "It is all very confusing." He murmured to Jimmy while stroking his fur feeling the vibrations of purring against his fingers.
What amazed Castiel was how much time he spent reliving the intimate moments with Dean, he could be walking through the corridors of school and glance at the Janitor's cupboard so many vivid images flashed into his mind at the possibilities. He would find himself standing staring at the door his mouth dry and body hot. "Hey Cas, what's on your mind?" an arm slid around his waist, a burning breath on his neck as per usual Dean sneaked up on him like a ninja. "You should stop doing that." He murmured his eyes flickering around to make sure no one was watching. "Don't be so paranoid, Cas. No one can see us." He turned Castiel around pushing him against the wall. "I've missed you."
His reply was lost in his throat as he gnawed on his lip, he had not quite mastered telling Dean he missed him. Deep down he was afraid of ever telling Dean what he was always thinking about. He felt Dean's hands sneak under his shirt his thumbs rubbing his hips. "I wish you'd stop abusing your lip." He pressed his lips to the exposed skin of Castiel's neck kissing the sensitive area under his ear. "Are you gonna tell me what's on your mind?" between asking the question and the affection to his skin, Dean's fingers had popped the button of his jeans and the zip. He slid his hand inside finding the unique heat and wetness. "Oh I see."
He felt a grin against his skin as Dean's fingers thumb rubbed Castiel's underwear against his hardness causing friction. A small sound escaped Castiel's mouth as he pressed himself against Dean. "What brought this on?" Dean whispered into Cas' ear as he fought and won seeking out the bare hardness his fingers wrapping around it, a slight tug made Castiel's shudder. "Don't be embarrassed, c'mon tell me Cas." His fingers curled into Dean's jacket his face hidden and eyes closed. Dean's fingers wrapped around him as he tried to speak but it was impossible as Dean pumped him while biting his neck and sucking. "I-I c-can't!" he gasped while his groin tightened against his will, he stifled his cry into Dean's jacket as he came into his hand.
Once Dean removed his hand Cas slid to the floor trying to catch his breath and avoiding Dean's eyes as he moved around to clean himself up. He could not believe they had done that in public where anyone could have walked around the corner.
Castiel found himself silent as they walked side by side to Castiel's house since the curfew still being in place, it was easier to dodge around it when Dean stayed with him. "I don't really like it when you're too quiet." Still not able to look Dean in the eyes, Castiel distracted himself with watching Jimmy stalk around his room. He felt fingertips on his face turning his head. "Cas you can tell me."
He licked his lips several times trying to organise the words in his head. "It is difficult to… to get used to the-" he broke off blushing as Dean filled the rest in. "Sex stuff, I get that Cas. Don't worry it'll be okay." Castiel shook his head. "No it will not, I enjoy it but-" something flashed across Dean's face which made Castiel worry. "But I am worried because I…" he blushed hardly able to get the words out. "I think about you all the time Dean." He whispered his eyes completely focused on his fingers. "I could be walking in the school halls and see a cupboard," he broke off picking up a pillow and hiding his face it. "Or even on the street."
Dean was stunned with Castiel's somewhat awkward confession and he would be lying if he didn't admit he always had Cas on his mind because the scruffy dark hair and bright blue eyes always seemed to find their way into his train of thought. There was always something out there that reminded him of Castiel.
"Cas that's completely normal," he leaned in placing his lips on Castiel's ear. "If I told you some of the things I thought about God would probably smite me."
It took a moment but Cas finally turned his head. "Have you sinned enough for God to smite you?" his eyes serious at Dean's half joke. "Don't be so serious Cas, I've done a lot of things and I'm still walking."
Cas turned his back stubbornly at Dean. "It is not a joke to talking about God's ability to smite." He held out his hand as Jimmy. "How do we even know God accepts us?" Dean sat baffled, he knew vaguely that Castiel's Family were highly Religious but one thing he could barely understand, was why Castiel still believed in 'God' if he even existed. "Cas do you think what we do is wrong?"
"No… it is difficult to explain Dean." Dean pushed Castiel on his back and straddled his hips. "I heard doubt Cas, tell me what you're really thinking."
"I-I fear that if I love and desire you too much. God will take you away from me Dean."
A/N: All I can say is: Nawww! Cas is adorable :D Plus confession of love? How will Dean react?