"I-I fear that if I love and desire you too much. God will take you away from me Dean."
"Forgive me Father but I have sinned." Castiel murmured in the confession box, he closed his eyes tightly in the hopes of revelation. "Speak my Child." It had been a few days since Castiel had basically admitted he was in love with Dean and things seemed to have gone from the highest point of happiness to Hell, but of course not in the literal sense. With his hands clasp together Castiel took in a great shuddering breath. "I spoke my true feelings to the person I love." The Priest made a sound of interest as Castiel cringed. "I see so why do you believe yourself to have sinned?" Castiel covered his face with his hands. "The person I love is a man." The silence was brief which made Castiel less than steady stomach to twist. "I believe God is punishing me for my sins." Castiel's internal battle carried on: Heart VS Belief.
"What makes you say that?" the Priest himself seemed generally interested as he heard movement. "Father, the person I love has not spoken to me since I confessed my love for him."
"My Son confessing love is incredibly difficult regardless of who is it. There is a possibility he may not be ready for your love yet." Castiel stared wide-eyed for a moment. "But Father is it not a sin to lie with a man the same as a woman?"
"Castiel it is not a sin to fall in love."
Even as Castiel left the Church he could not help but feel even more confused, if God was not punishing him for his sins why was it Dean had not spoken to him. He walked his hands deep in his pockets as he tried to make sense. Maybe the Priest was right about Dean not being quite ready. From what he knew of Dean's past relationships none of them had been serious so in theory it was possible somebody expressing their true feelings of love could be far to overwhelming for them, and Dean needed space to process it. He walked past Ellen and Jo's bakery stopping only momentarily as he considered getting something for Gabriel it was at the same time he heard a familiar voice, his head turned automatically locating where the voice was coming from when he saw Dean. He was about to call out to him except he stopped when he saw Jo appear beside him.
What he saw tore at his heart when Dean wrapped an arm around Jo's shoulder who giggled in turn her head against his side. He knew they were close but hurt from seeing them together stopped all logic. "Oh what a shame." A scowl appeared on his face as Lisa's voice floated into his train of thoughts. "What do you mean?" she stood in the alleyway her lips smirking. "Oh nothing, the thing you should know about Dean is he'll never get serious." She sauntered towards Castiel her eyes filled with coldness. "Once you've confessed your love for him he'll move on. And it seems he already has. Too bad Freak, why not go back to Pontiac? I bet your Daddy Lucas misses you along with Raphael and Michael."
Lisa stepped closer filling the gap between them. "You can't hide from them Castiel, your Father and Brothers will find you." Castiel's blue eyes filled with fear at her words as she smiled in satisfaction. "Do us all a favour Freak leave Lawrence because Dean doesn't want you here and we don't want your Freak Families problems either."
Dean hugged Jo affectionately unaware of what was happening only blocks away. "Jo, thanks for listening I really needed someone to talk to." She gushed while squealing happily. "I can't believe Cas told you he loved you, I can't imagine what he sees in you." Dean poked her playfully in the ribs, it had been strange couple days he had not seen Cas since leaving his house the morning after. Whenever he went around to his house Cas was never in and Gabriel had said he could wait but he had half expected to bump into him yet it never happened. "Sooo… Dean when are you going to tell Cas you love him?" Dean looked down at the blonde girl. "I dunno when the times right I suppose, he has a tendency to get pretty skittish I don't wanna scare him off." Jo snorted in a very unladylike fashion. "I'm surprised you didn't go running to the nearest hill to be honest. How many girls have confessed their love for you?"
"That's not the point I never felt what I feel with him. Like right now I miss him and just want to y'know hold him." Jo hugged him tightly. "Aw! It's so cute! Well go on then!"
Castiel half fell through the door as he slipped in his panic to get away, Gabriel appeared holding Jimmy. "Whoa! What's happened?" without answering his question, Castiel ran upstairs to his room. He had to get away from Lawrence; he could not risk his Father finding him. He pulled out his bag from the closet as Gabriel walked into his room. "Cas! What are you doing?" again without answering he shoved stuff into his bag. "I have to get out of here."
His heart ached and tears filled his eyes, Gabriel watched his Brother's frantic movements he had never seen his Brother in such a frenzy of panic. "Do you mind telling me where you intend to go?" Castiel stopped his packing his whole body froze. "I will figure something out." Gabriel made a sound of disbelief as he grabbed Castiel, pulling him from his room and back downstairs and pushing him on to the sofa. "Sit your butt down and explain to me why you suddenly want leave."
Castiel pushed both his hands through his hair. "I confessed to Dean that I loved him." He licked his dry lips not particularly wanting to see Gabriel's reaction. "And I saw him in town with a girl." Gabriel rubbed his forehead. "Okay. What else has happened?" Cas automatically picked up a pillow hugging it close. "Is it possible Father and Raphael know where we are?" he looked at his Brother and saw a curious expression flit across Gabriel's face. "Why do you ask?" Castiel pounced as Gabriel's face became shadowed. "What do you know?" he threw aside the pillow, crossing his arms waiting. "Joshua, remember our Neighbour the one who gave you the letter with my address well he's been my eyes and ears. He's discovered that Raphael is searching for you. Why? Well we can answer that no problem because Dad ordered him too." Gabriel felt the panic rise in Castiel before he saw it, he grabbed his Little Brother forcing him to sit down. "Don't panic okay! There's no chance Raphael will be able to find us." Castiel body shook with fear. "You do not understand I think a girl may been in contact with Father." Gabriel shook his head. "That's impossible Cas, whenever I speak to Joshua he's always at home."
Castiel gripped Gabriel's shirt pulling him forward. "How many people here know Father's name or about Raphael and Michael?" something clicked as what Castiel was saying made Gabriel realise. "Son of a bitch, someone's been digging well I'll be damned." He rubbed his jaw. "Look Cas don't panic okay if anything happens I'll protect you."
He made to stand up but Gabriel pushed him back in the sofa. "Park your butt because we are not running away. We were here first and whatever happens we'll take it head on. Now tell me exactly what happened with Dean?"
"Alright let's see." Dean murmured as he distracted himself with the Impala's engine it had been so long since he had last worked on her. "I'm sorry Baby I've been neglecting you." He stroked the car lovingly. "Dean are you here?" he tried to repress a scowl as a cold voice reached his ears. "Lisa." Her name came out curter then he had intended but she stood unfazed by his tone. "I just thought I'd tell you some interesting news." She flicked her hand examining her nails. "I've heard Castiel is planning on leaving Lawrence soon." Dean wiped his hands on the cloth in his pocket. "Yeah? And where did you hear that from?" she picked at her nails. "Straight from the horse's mouth after he saw you and Jo all cuddly on the street. I bet that broke his heart seeing that."
"Are you sure you should trust this Lisa person?" Castiel half shrug his eyes red and puffy. "Don't you think it would be better to speak to Dean, I mean I've seen you two together and he doesn't seem like the kind of person to ditch and run because someone's confessed their love." As per usual Gabriel's logic made Castiel consider his actions, when Castiel did not answer Gabriel tried another tactic. "How about I go around to Dean's and ask him?" horror filled Castiel at the thought of involving himself in his life. "Absolutely not! I just need time to think if Dean comes round I am not in."
As soon as the words left his mouth the doorbell rang like a deer caught in headlights Castiel jumped to his feet and ran up to his room slamming his door. "Ah young love." Gabriel muttered as he answered the door, Dean stood there slightly out a breath. "Is it true?" he asked between pants, he leaned against the doorframe for support. "Is what true?" Gabriel asked politely keenly aware Castiel's door had opened and he was listening. "Is Cas leaving?"
"What? Where did you hear that?"
"Does it matter?" Dean replied as he clutched his side as a stitch pulled at his muscles. "Well yeah I guess it does, and for reference no Cas is not leaving." Gabriel watched as Dean visually sagged against the doorframe in relief. "Thank God I just need to speak to him about what he might've saw in town." Gabriel's smiled slyly making sure Dean didn't catch on. "You can come in and wait if you want, I'm sure Cas will turn up at some point." Dean straightened for a moment. "No it's fine. Tell Cas when you see him to call me and that I promise I will explain."
"Cas you do realise you're going to have to face him, I can't cover for you forever."
A/N: Now would it be a bad thing if I made the Priest pro gay relationships? Because he seems pretty sound if I don't say so myself I will definitely give him a name soon and possibly expand his appearance in the fanfic.
And also - What's going to happen next? Update soon! :) Plus woohoo for reaching 100 reviews! Result! Thank you: Haven't Met My Angel Yet