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G Bash

Chapter 4

Sam wrapped his arms around G's chest and brought him backward into his naked body. "That was exquisite," he said, "the best lovemaking since our relationship began."

G buried his face in a pillow, hiding his tear stained cheeks from his lover.

"How was it for you?"

He pulled away from Sam, slid off the bed, and entered the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. G rested his back against the door and slid down to the floor.

"G?" Sam rapped on the bathroom door. "Don't make me break down this door to get into the bathroom."

"Just go away, Sam."

"What happened, sweetheart?"

That again, using a pet name, damn. "I can't talk about this."

"Was this triggered by having sex?"

"Damn it, stop asking me questions about it."

"Sorry, man, I love you," he said, "just let me hold you."

G stood, unlocked the door and stared at the carpet between them. Sam closed the three foot space between them, standing inches from his lover. "I don't know if—"

"You don't need to say anything, sweetheart." He drew him into his body and stroked his back. "Sorry, G."

"Can you hold me on the bed?" His tears fell on Sam's right shoulder.

Sam lifted G into arms and laid on the bed with him. He caressed his lover's face with slow, gentle strokes.

"I don't know if… damn it… I'm just remembering this." More tears welled up in his eyes.

Sam brushed G's tears away with his thumb. "Take your time, sweetheart, there's no pressure."

"It happened more than once," he said, closing his eyes. "But the first time was on my birthday." G snuggled closer to Sam. "Hold me tight."

Sam drew G into his side, wrapping his arms around his chest.

"A foster dad… damn it… why can't I just say it?"

"Tied you up?"

"Yeah, and worse, he raped me."

"Sorry, G." Sam nuzzled and kissed his neck. "You're safe with me."

"Only if you don't tie me up again."

"Never again, I promised."

Tears streamed down his face. "I can't do this."

"Do what?"

G pulled away from Sam and slid off the bed. He grabbed a bathrobe and wrapped around himself, leaving the bedroom. Sam grabbed the other bathrobe and followed him. "But you did tie me up and damn it… I'm triggered now."

"There's more to the memory?" Sam asked.

"Lot's more and I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it." He sat on a dark brown, leather sofa and tightened the bathrobe around him.

"What can I do to help you through this memory?"

"Nothing, Sam, I'm not trusting you right now."

He sighed and sat in a matching chair opposite G in the living area. "If leaving helps you feel safer—"

"I don't want that!" G shot off the sofa, strode to the window, and stared out the sliding glass doors onto the balcony. "I'm confused… while I love you, I hate what you did to me and I can't get it out of my mind."

"Next time tell me before it goes any further."

"Next time?"

"If I do something you don't like."

"Oh, damn, I thought you meant the same thing."

"Nope."

"Sorry, I'm feeling defensive."

"I understand—"

"But?"

Sam stayed seated in his chair, watching G. "I understand, no buts."

"I hope some butts." G spun around and faced him, winking at him. He crossed the room and sat on Sam's lap. "I want to work this out."

"I love you." Sam sighed. "I don't want to lose you over this."

"Not to mention what Hetty would say about a major spat between us."

"She already said her piece and I have a meeting with her when we get back."

"What?" G's jaw dropped.

"I think she wants to read me the protocols for relationships in a work environment."

"You've read that protocol?"

"Many times and if our relationship breaks up, she'll be able to prohibit us from seeing each other."

"No partners?"

"Hetty has the prerogative to stop any further relationships, period." Sam sighed. "That's why I pressing forward and willing to work through this with you. I don't want to lose you as an ops partner either. Whatever it takes on my part, G."

"Whatever?" He grinned wide.

"Okay, what do you have in mind?"

"I get to tie you up," G said. "Payback is a bitch."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"Handcuffs."

"Hardcore?"

"I want to make a point."

"And seduce me?"

"Possibly." G wrapped his arms around Sam's neck and pulled him closer.

"I think you want to take charge."

"Yeah, just for a short stint," he said. "I get my kink on from you taking charge of me in our relationship."

"And on the job?"

"I'm in charge."

"For one day, we switch roles," Sam said. "I think it would be interesting. I take charge on the job and boss you around and you take charge in the bedroom and boss me around."

"Can I do whatever I wish?"

"Within reason," he said, "because whatever you do to me, I'll do to you when we switch back."

"No restraints."

"That's an agreement we already made, G."

"Okay, I like your plan."

"Starts tonight."

"Tonight?"

"The sooner the better."

G slid off Sam's lap and entered the bedroom. He grabbed his handcuffs and gun, emptying it, and returned to the living area.

"Is that a gun or are you just glad to see me?" Sam winked at him.

"Up against the wall, buddy!"

"Make me," he said, refusing to move.

"Either you do as I say or I'll shove my gun into your groin."

"Ooh, big words for a small fry."

"Small fry?" G laughed. "That's a first, you've never called me a small fry."

"Compared to me—"

"Yeah, true." He motioned his partner over to the wall with the gun.

Sam acquiesced to G's game, wanting to see where he was taking this. He faced the wall.

G came up behind Sam and slid the cold metal gun over his lover's groin. "Spread 'em, big guy."

Sam gasped and spread his legs apart.

"You like my gun, man?"

"Yeah."

G lifted up Sam's robe and rubbed his groin against his partner's buttocks. "Hands behind your back." G slapped handcuffs on his wrists. "Crap." He removed them faster than he had placed them and rushed out of the room. G grabbed his clothes and started dressing in them.

Sam came behind him, wrapping his arms around his lover's chest. "Easy G," he said, keeping his voice low. "You triggered yourself?"

"Yeah, damn it, I can't believe it."

"Don't leave, sweetheart, let's stay and work this out, okay?"

"Sam, I… damn it… I should've never done it to you."

"You were angry with me."

"Yeah, and I wanted to punish you, but it backfired on me." Tears streamed down his face. "To hell with all this!" He tried to wrench free from Sam's hold.

"I want to work this out." He tightened his arms around G's chest.

"I don't know if I can, Sam, I just don't know."

"Why don't you spend some time in the hot tub and I'll order us some dinner?"

"Why did I believe I could do that to you without repercussions?" G asked. "It was a stupid idea, stupid."

"You mean a dumb ass idea?"

"Yeah, one of those and I seem to come up with too many of them and too often."

Sam nuzzled his neck and sucked on his earlobe. "Go relax and don't worry about it."

"Are we going to switch roles still?"

"I don't see the point, sweetheart."

"I love when you call me sweetheart."

"Good."

"The first time shocked me, because I didn't expect it," G said. "Are you joining me later?"

"After dinner we'll spend time in the hot tub together."

"And get massages?"

"If you want, G."

G turned around and rested his head on Sam's chest. "I don't want our relationship to end," he said. "I love you."

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