(A/N) Don't know what to say except you're lucky I'm even posting this up, I have tonnes of homework which is a whole pile of crap!

TJ's POV

The last couple of days has been like a dark cloud. Spinelli no longer smiled or showed any emotion. She was like the living dead.

It was quite easy to see that she hadn't slept a wink ever since the news.
I started to drive her home from the hospital. It was the quietest she's ever been in her whole life. Spinelli daydreamed out of the window the whole time. The worst thing for me to see is her showing no emotion. She was like a bottle. Keeping everything inside of her, waiting to crack.

But she never seemed to crack. I knew I wouldn't feel better till she cried. When she cried, that's when Spinelli would feel better.

I knew all she had to do was cry and then that's her slowly recovering, but she didn't. Spinelli would get up in the morning and make breakfast before heading out to work, come home, get supper served and ready and then she stays in the small art room we have.

I one time peeked in on her to see what she was doing. She didn't seem to paint or cry or anything. She sat on a chair and stared out the window.

I knew that this will pass and we'll soon be happy but that didn't stop me from hoping I was right even you know I was. I think.

Spinelli's POV

It was hard to accept. I was never pregnant. It is hard to believe that you were shot by a bullet until the bullet is in too deep and is hurting too much.

Life just seemed to go by, silently and slowly passed by, nothing happening. I would look at the couple who were happy and then the happy family with children and think, what's the point in being happy, pain will come sooner or later crushing that every ounce of happiness you had left.

I knew I shouldn't be too sad. It never existed so nothing died. But the thought that I actually did think I was upset me.
I rubbed my stomach where my baby should be, but it was never there, so I was just rubbing my stomach for no reason.

It could have been worse but I still felt sad. No matter how sad your story is, it's only sad by how you react to it. It wasn't as bad the day my parents died in a car accident but I still felt it.

"Spinelli?" I heard the door creek open.

I turned my head to see TJ coming in.

I didn't say a word because I didn't know what to say.

He sat next to me. "Are you okay?"

I didn't know what to say. Was I? Was I upset? Was I really okay? I just looked down unable to answer.

"You haven't said anything in ages." TJ started to rub my neck.

His fingers rubbing my neck felt so soft and delicate I didn't want to it to stop. I didn't want it to stop so badly, I was so in love with it I forgot to answer.

"Spinelli, we're both young ,we'll can still have a baby." TJ smiled.

Hearing the last word he said broke something in me. A baby, a baby is what I wanted.

"I know you really want a baby but we have ti..."TJ stopped once he noticed I started to sob.

"Spinelli," I heard him sigh.

TJ wrapped his arms round me, longingly and I lay beside cried a little harder.

"I was so excited." I sobbed.
"I know you were. But we are young Spinelli, we can still have one. Someday when we're with the family we'll look back to now and have forgotten it because we're already happy with the real children."
I closed my eyes trying to remember my children. None of them turned out pretty because I'm not good at imagining it but I knew with all my heart that, it didn't matter what they looked like, they would be mine and beautiful in every single way.

I continued to weep.

TJ sighed and nursed my, rocking my backwards and forwards.

I stopped crying and whipped my tears.

"You okay?" TJ asked.

I did feel better after letting it all out.
"Yeah, I do." I smiled.
TJ smiled back and hugged me.

"You said we can have children any time." I sniffed.

"Yeah,"

"How about now?" I asked.

TJ looked at me a little nervous.
"N-now?"

"Yeah, sure, we've done it before, right?"
"But Now?"
I got up and took off my top. I started to kiss him and he kissed my back.

"Sp...Spinelli!" I heard him muffle between our kisses.
"What?"

"I...don't think...we should try now."
I stopped kissing him and got up off him. "You're right." I sighed.

"Let's go watch TV." TJ suggested.

"Great, wrestling on!" I cheered.