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Sam Bash

Chapter 5

Sam and G relaxed in the hot tub under a clear starlit night.

"This is nice."

"Nice?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, snuggling with my lover under a star studded sky."

"Never knew you were the romantic." He drew G backward against his chest.

"You cancelled our masseurs again?"

"I didn't think you wanted to reschedule the appointments, because we're having a great time together in the hot tub."

"True." G sighed.

"Want to try something?"

"Okay."

"Lie on your back in the water."

G laid on his back and waited for his partner to come along side him. Instead, Sam dove under him and blew bubbles along G's back. "Okay, you're weird," he said when his partner surfaced.

"Like it?"

"Feels good, like a thousand fingers lightly touching me."

"My wife loved the feeling."

"Your wife?"

"Yeah."

"Where is she?"

"Left me several years ago, because she was tired of me being married to the job."

"And your partner?" G asked, winking at him.

"That too." Sam sighed. "Although, she was never jealous of our man dates."

"She wasn't?"

"Nope. She understood my need to get out and have my time with you."

"Understanding."

"But not the job, never understanding my need to work odd hours," Sam said. "And I couldn't tell her anything about my work. Our relationship suffered, because of my job at NCIS."

"It takes an special person to be married to an NCIS agent." G winked at him again.

"Is that the subtle hint?"

"Well, I did say I love you and I meant that." He dunked under the hot water and came back up by the ledge, sitting down again.

"I miss cuddling with her every night."

"You can cuddle with me every night."

"I'm not ready for that kind of commitment again."

G felt as if someone had kicked him hard in the gut. He swallowed down the nausea and climbed out of the hot tub.

"Wait, man, where are you going?"

"Anywhere, but here." He grabbed his bathrobe and entered the living room, heading for the bedroom. After drying himself off, he dressed in his shirt.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Leaving."

"What?" Sam grasped G's shoulders, scrutinizing his eyes.

"I think I was hasty about disclosing what I did," G said. "I trusted you with my worst memories from the foster care system. I trusted you with my… damn it… with my heart." Tears welled up in his eyes. He wiped them away with his shirt sleeve.

"I'm sorry."

"Is that all you're saying to me, man?"

"G, you don't understand."

"Yeah, I understand, I'm simply a good lay to you."

Sam's jaw dropped.

"I mean nothing to you." He jerked away and dressed in his jeans.

"Don't do this, G."

"Don't?" He asked. "But you can do it to me, and I should just stand here and take it?"

"What are you talking about, man?"

"I thought you made a commitment to our relationship, and this weekend was the beginning of something new," he said. "I'll be damned if it wasn't a lie." G sat on the bed to put on his shoes.

"Not this again?"

"No."

"What?"

"This time I'm not coming back to you, Sam."

"Why?"

"We've seen each other for over a year, and now you tell me you're not willing to get into a serious relationship," G said. "Well, fuck you, Sam!" He grabbed his leather jacket off a chair in the dining room and headed for the door. "I wish you told me sooner, instead of waiting a whole damned year to tell me. I guess saying I love you doesn't mean much to you."

"Damn it, G, let me at least—"

"Explain what, Sam, you've got nothing to explain, because you never had any intention to go beyond anything besides sex." He sighed. "To you, I'm just a great lay." He strode out the door.

# # #

Sam rushed down the stairs, hoping to beat G to the ground floor. He waited at the elevator for him. The doors opened and he found his partner was not inside. Damn it. He dashed out the hotel's exit and into the parking lot. G must have used the stairs. He was halfway across the parking lot heading toward the San Diego Freeway. Sam climbed into his Challenger and raced toward the freeway. He pulled along side his partner. "Come on, man, get into the car."

"Go. To. Hell." G removed his cell phone and called a cab.

Sam stopped the Challenger and hurried over to G's side, matching him stride for stride. "Would you just stop for a minute and let me talk to you?"

"No."

"You're throwing this away?"

"I called Hetty and told her." G opened his cell phone and removed the Sim Card and GPS tracking device. He broke them into several pieces. "I told her I'm taking a couple of days off, and to not bother searching for me." He removed his watch and tossed it in a trash can.

"What?" Sam stopped. "What the hell are you doing, man?"

"Going dark, becoming a ghost."

"Don't do this, man, let's talk."

"About what?" G said. "There's nothing to talk about." He removed all his credit cards and started to bend them back and forth.

Sam grabbed G's watch out of the trash. "Give me those, man, don't do this." Sam grabbed his partner's credit cards before he could destroy them.

"I'm done." G sighed. "We're done." The cab pulled up to the curb and G climbed into the back seat. "Just drive toward Marina del Rey. Thank you." The driver nodded and took off.

"G!" Sam stood at the curb, staring at the cab as it disappeared into traffic.

# # #

"Protocol, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said, sitting across from him in the archive room.

"This isn't about protocol, Hetty, it's about me screwing up the relationship because of my own fears."

"Same thing," she said. "You of all people should know better than to place Mr. Callen in a precarious position."

Sam sighed. "I hurt him."

"How?"

"Damn it." He stood and walked to the gun display cabinets and stared out the window. "I told him I wasn't ready for another intimate relationship."

"And that's when he called me?"

"Yep."

"Not good, Mr. Hanna," Hetty said, "he's a ghost and cannot be contacted. Eric's tried to track him."

"He won't be able to, because he removed all GPS mechanisms from his person."

"What?" Her jaw dropped. "When?"

"After he called you to say he was going dark."

"Damn," she said. "Any clue as to where he was going?"

"He told the cab driver to take him to Marina del Rey."

"And you believe he'll go there?"

"No, I believe he'll hide out in Venice where he used to live."

"You're staying here while Kensi and Deeks search for him," Hetty said. "Understood?"

"Yes, sorry Hetty."

"I have an assignment for you, Mr. Hanna."

He knew what was coming.

"I want you to review the protocols for relationships in the work environment."

"Hetty."

"Mr. Hanna, this is an order and you'll do it in Nate's office."

"What?" He asked. "Why?"

"I asked him to discuss Callen's situation with you."

"Situation?"

"Go and find out, now." Hetty pointed toward Nate's office.

# # #

Sam sighed. He left her office and trudged toward Nate's office. He didn't look forward to the dressing down he was about to receive. Sam expected it from Hetty and was surprised when she passed the buck to Nate. He knocked on Nate's door.

"Come in."

Nate glanced up from the file on his desk. Sam trudged into Nate's office and sat down.

"Is this the meeting where you rip me a new one instead of Hetty doing it?"

"No, Sam, you and I are here to discuss NCIS's protocol for workplace relationships."

"Just tell me our relationship is prohibited."

"No, Sam, it is not, but you must follow protocol."

"Huh?" His eyebrow lifted.

"Hetty is not prohibiting you from having a relationship with Callen," Nate said. "She wants you to proceed with extreme caution."

Sam sighed.

"Sam, Callen has confided in Hetty and I about his deep love and trust for you."

"What?" His jaw dropped. "G disclosed this to Hetty and you?"

"Yes."

"You betrayed confidences to tell me?"

"No, Hetty asked Callen if it was okay to share the information with you."

"Now, I feel horrible about what happened."

"Do you want to talk about it, Sam?"

"G, damn, I didn't know he was this serious about our relationship." Sam sighed. "Can you tell me when he told you?"

"About six months ago."

Damn. "Maybe this relationship is a mistake?"

"Callen doesn't think it is," Nate said. "Hetty told me she has never seen him this happy and relaxed."

"This is my fault." Damn it. "This is not about G. It's about me and my own relationship problems and trust issues since my wife left me. G wants to be that anchor for me in this relationship, and damn it, I'm reluctant to let him be that close to me."

"Interesting, Sam, a little bit of role reversal," Nate said. "You want to keep Callen at arm's length?"

"Yep, I'm ashamed to admit my dishonorable behavior, pushing him away from me, when in fact I need him."

"But?"

"I loathe the intimacy which would flow from a closer relationship with G."

"I would like to see you both in my office after we find Callen."

Sam sighed. "I don't know if I can talk about this to him in front of you."

"You shared well with me already, Sam," Nate said. "Unless you have more to discuss with me, we are finished."

"I hope we find him soon."

"Me too, Sam."

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