A/N - This will make sense to my tweeties as to why I asked about vajazzling!
Thanks for still being here...There's probably only about 2-3 more chappies is my little piece of crap...
Chapter 8 : BELLA VAJAZZLES
"BELLA? Why the fuck is your pussy shining?" I squealed at her like a horny little pig stuck in a rut.
She looked at me incredulously, as she went cross eyed trying to figure out the reason for my confusion.
"E-E-Edward...you're mood swings are giving me whiplash!
You're either the horniest mo-fo I've ever met or you're angry with me. Which one is it? "
Awkward Pause.
And when I say awkward I mean...AWKWARDDDDDDDDD.
" To answer your Question EDWARD ...I VAJAZZLED."
"You w-w-what? Double You Te Eff is THAT? "
" Well Alice said you would really like it, especially after Jazzy saying about the sparkle lube, I decided to go for it. He said that I would have matching entrances Edward. What does that mean? I'm so confused!"
" Bella. That doesn't even matter anymore, I smashed the sparklelube remember? "
Oh yeah. I smashed that baby all over the windscreen of Alice's babee gurl (her beloved yellow porsche ). She'd be cleaning sparkle out of that thing for decades.
"Now tell me about this vajazzling."
" Oh Edward! It was the most amazing thing! Last night before Jazz even thought of the sparklelube, Alice came over right? Anyway I don't know how she knew me but it's almost like she can see the future ya know? So Last night I open my door to see Alice there with a waxing kit and the vajazzle set. She made me wax everything, and that hurt like a motherfucker...even after she said it wouldn't! Word of advice Edward : NEVER listen to Alice. "
" So we tried to do an E on my kitty in shiny silver glitter cos Alice, like, said you would love it, like, ya know? But the vajazzle got everywhere and now I , like, have it everywhere! And that is why my pussy shines."
She was rambling.
I really needed her to shut the fuck up.
Her incessant rambling (Things I do not need to know for $1000 thanks Alex) was driving me crazy.
So I did the only thing I could think of in that moment.
I grabbed her, and with my stone cold marble-esque lips...
I kissed her.