Author's Notes: I apologize profusely for the looooong wait between chapters. I was having a lot of trouble with it, because it just wasn't flowing like that first. By the way, I combed through chapter one again and fixed even more mistakes! So hopefully it is just that little bit closer to perfection (perfection? HA! as if!). I've been having a bit of trouble with my other on-going story, Razorblade Shine, as well, but it is finally coming along to... Anyway, enough of my prattling...
Disclaimer: Me no own Kingdom Hearts, but me do own Axel and Roxas due to the sole fact that I kidnapped them. Mwah ha ha ha!! (not really).
Assent
Act 2: Namine
Scene 1: Baseball
--
Nearly a year had passed since Mr. and Mrs. Assent's divorce, Mr. Assent gaining full custody of Roxas and Mrs. Assent getting custody of the younger boy, Sora. It had been a long, drawn out year with more than a few bumps in the road. But that was to be expected, I suppose.
Roxas came home from school to find his father standing there, impatiently thumping his foot on the ground and twirling his keys around his index finger. "I thought I told you to get home a little faster today."
"I did, Dad," the boy said, cringing, knowing what was coming. "It's such a long walk from school, though. I–"
"I don't really feel like listening to your excuses," the man said, grabbing the boy by the arm. "We have somewhere to go."
He practically dragged the boy to the garage, thrusting him into the car and slamming the door before getting in himself. He backed the car out of the driveway, purposely running over Roxas' skateboard that was accidentally left on the edge of the grass.
Roxas let out a silent wail of anguish, but said nothing.
"You have baseball practice today," the man barked when they pulled into the parking lot of a local park.
"Baseball practice?" Roxas asked. "But I don't play baseball."
"You do now, boy. I signed you up. You're such a pussy and need a little toughening up." He seemed to stare off a little, just imagining his son getting flattened by all the boys twice his size, grinning with an unmistakable glee.
--
Roxas took to baseball about as well as a fish takes to being out of water. Practices were excruciatingly long as he continually made mistakes; dropping pop-flies right to him, striking out at every at bat, hitting the first baseman in the back of the head when he tried throwing the ball in. Needless to say, he didn't make a lot of friends on the team. Or, you know, any at all.
By the time games came around, everyone on the team was groaning because the league had a rule that entitled every player at least three innings of play. Coach Highwind tried everything he could get away with to keep Roxas from embarrassing himself more than he already would (playing right field, batting last, that sort of thing). Truth be told, he felt bad for the kid, knowing that Roxas didn't want to play and lacked the talent for it. He'd known Roxas' dad in high school and had always thought him to be a real prick. Forcing Roxas to play when he clearly didn't want to only drove this fact deeper in the coach's mind.
The coach was a compassionate sort of guy and had a major soft spot for kids. He didn't like the way Roxas' dad treated him, but didn't really see anything he could do about it. He'd always wanted a son, despite the fact that he loved his three daughters very much. It saddened him that none of them were really interested in sports, in playing them anyway. His youngest girl, Namine, however, never failed to show up at the games, enthusiastically bringing after-game treats for all the boys and making encouraging and colorful signs to hang in the dugout.
Namine also had a soft spot for the hapless boy, talking to him in the dugout when no one else would and sneaking him extra treats when no one was looking. The coach was proud of his daughter, knowing that she was probably one of the first friends Roxas had ever had.
Surprisingly enough, even with Roxas on the team, their team went all the way to the Destiny Islands Championship. It was about as prestigious as you could get for an eleven year old athlete. The game was going well, each team neck-and-neck for the title, until the very last inning. The first two boys of the Destiny Islands Aces, Coach Highwind's team, struck out on three pitches apiece. The bottom of the line-up came and it was Roxas' turn to bat.
Shaking like a leaf, Roxas closed his eyes and swung at the first pitch that came to him. He nearly wet himself when he heard the crack! as ball and bat connected. Dropping the bat, he ran to first base. And didn't stop.
In his excitement and naïveté, he simply kept running, getting tagged out between second and third by the short stop. No one could deny that it was a great hit, an amazing one if you heeded who it was from. But nonetheless, he was tagged out and the Aces had lost the game. Roxas' dad had simply looked at his son with disgust and left, leaving his elder son in the ballpark.
Coach Highwind didn't blame Roxas in the slightest. Sure, he wanted to win, but he knew it wasn't Roxas' fault. They were a team and it took more than one person to lose a game.
The other boys on the team, however, failed to see it that way. Three of the biggest and strongest eleven year olds cornered him behind the concession stand not too long afterwards.
"You lost us the game, you little bitch!" one of the boys said to him before punching the smaller boy in the stomach. Roxas recoiled into himself; he was used to pain and pretending there was none was the only way to not feel it.
The other two boys began joining in, kicking and hitting him as he lay on the ground. Namine, hearing this, came running. It was true that she was only a tiny girl, smaller even than Roxas, but there was no way she was going to let anyone hurt her new best friend.
"Stop!" she shrieked as she came running, trying to pull one of the boys away from Roxas.
"Feh, get your hands off me," the boy said, tossing her onto the ground next to her friend.
Another spoke up. "Come on. Beating up these little kids isn't worth it. Let's just go." In truth, they were all a little scared of being on the receiving end of her father's wrath.
Namine, barely bruised, turned to her friend as the boys left and lightly touched Roxas' face where it was beginning to redden and swell. "Are you okay, Roxas?" she asked, clearly concerned.
Woozy, Roxas nodded, trying to sit up, smiling gratefully at her.
--
The first week back at home was, in a word, tough. When I wasn't feeling depressed, I was busy feeling like I truly didn't belong in the house any longer. Everyone seemed so happy, paired off and carefree. It was true that Sora and Demyx stilled winced in worry every time I so much as coughed or sneezed, but they at least had calmed down since the time at the hospital. It had taken a few days, but Zexion and Riku had eventually forgave my somewhat cruel conduct, knowing that this was not the way I usually behaved. I might have been a bit of miserable, angry bastard, but I tried not to be petty and couldn't stand to see those I love hurt. Especially because of me. They knew this.
Mom was ecstatic, though. It had been a very long time since I'd seen her that happy, smiling and humming cheerfully to herself as if (almost) everything was going alright for once. The night I got home, she cooked my favorite meal of lasagna and even bought a box of sea-salt ice cream for desert as a sort of farewell gift to sweets since I wasn't allowed to have any anymore until my ulcer cleared up.
And I tried, I seriously did, to make it seem as if I was alright. I knew that everyone else also knew that I still cried myself to sleep each night (paper-thin walls and such), but no one ever brought it up. I was grateful. Many nights, Sora would cross the floor of our small bedroom and sneak into bed with me, thinking me to be sleeping, and put a comforting arm around me. I was always still awake as I rarely slept any more, but greatly appreciated the gesture.
Every morning after I woke up from a fretful night's sleep (Sora sneaking back into his bed, lest I figure it out), I put on a hopeful mask, trying to convince the others that I was slowly, but surely getting over the accident. In my heart, I knew that I never really would, but I didn't want them to know that.
--
Scene 2: Confession
It wasn't long before Roxas and Namine began middle school, continuing and strengthening their newfound friendship. In truth, she was still really the only friend he had, but because she was there for him, he didn't really want any more, not if it meant giving up what they had.
Destiny Islands Middle School didn't offer a plethora of classes like a big city school was more likely to, so the two ended up in practically all of the same classes, spending countless hours daily with each other. Not that either of them minded.
There, however, was one boy in their class that was even more alone than Roxas had been. His name was George and he was the token class nerd. Straight A's and a bright future ahead, many failed to appreciate his hidden brilliance. Namine and Roxas never failed to invite George to hang out with them or eat with them at lunch, but most of the time he declined, preferring the company of his laptop to that of actual human beings.
On one particular day as Roxas was walking out of the boy's bathroom, he spotted George talking to two boys a year ahead of them. George appeared frantic, distraught. Roxas, not knowing what to do, pretended to get a drink from the nearby drinking fountain to better eavesdrop.
"I can't believe that you forgot to do my homework," one of the older boys said, grabbing George by the collar and shaking him a little.
"I-I'm s-s-sorry!" George gasped frantically, becoming terrified.
Rage pumped through Roxas' veins as he witnessed one of the boys smacking his classmate across the face, sending his glasses flying into the wall. He knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of a brute and it physically pained him to see it happening to someone else. He told himself that it was probably his own fault that his dad smacked him around, but he could hardly see why anyone would hurt such a kind-hearted person as George.
"Why don't you leave him alone?" Roxas said, his voice low and even. The two older boys turned around and began laughing. Roxas realized they both outweighed him by a good thirty, forty pounds and had at least five inches on him in height.
George, noticing that all attention was diverted from himself grabbed his glasses from the floor and, fled. Some much for being kind-hearted, Roxas thought, preparing for the worst.
"Stupid seventh graders," one of the boys muttered, grabbing Roxas by the shoulder and tossed him into the wall like an overgrown rag doll.
His eyes fluttered open a few minutes later, landing on a familiar face looking intently down at him. He realized that his head was cradled in Namine's lap, an apprehensive crease between her brows.
"Hey, Nam," Roxas said groggily, wincing as he noticed the incessant throbbing from where head met wall.
"You were helping someone again, weren't you?" she said rhetorically. She didn't need an answer. "Why can't you just let things go, Roxas? You can't save everyone, you know."
"I know," he said quietly, a hand to his forehead as he groaned. The hallway light was becoming too much for his eyes. "But I can try."
Namine closed her eyes and shook her head sadly. This scene was becoming far too habitual for her, and she hated it, hated the fact that Roxas always felt the need to stick his nose into other people's business. And he always ended up getting hurt because of his small size, always.
"Oh, Roxas," she sighed, troubled, "you're heart really is too big for your own good, you know that right?" He laughed a little, the whimpering at the toll it took on his head.
But as she opened her eyes and stared down at the boy, brushing his hand away from his face to stare into his crisp, azure eyes and to lay a chaste kiss upon his forehead, she knew that she couldn't be more proud of him. And she knew she couldn't be more in love.
--
"I had a great idea at school today!" my younger brother said as he came practically bouncing in after school one day, Riku and Zexion trailing behind him, shaking their heads. Demyx had band practice after school and would be gone for at least another hour. It sounded a little selfish, but sometimes I wished Demyx would drop out of band and come straight home. He reminded me the most of him, though they shared few characteristics. When I hung out with Demyx, it took my mind off the fact that I missed him so much.
For a majority of the day, I had been sitting in my mom's Lazy-Boy, staring listlessly at the screen, just thinking. "The Food Network, huh?" Riku asked with a smirk as he sat down on the couch, sprawling out. "I didn't think you were that gay."
Sora smacked him playfully. I looked at the screen, realizing for the first time that I had, in fact, been watching Sandra Lee teach us all how to make fruity mixed drinks and colorful placemats. Shrugging, I replied, "I haven't been paying attention."
"Clearly," Zexion said, snatching the remote from my hand and flipping it to the Discovery Channel.
Sora stood in front of me to regain my attention. "Don't you want to hear my idea, Roxas?" he asked, arms crossed and pouting.
I smiled slightly at my younger brother. "Of course, Sora."
"Well," he began, drawing the word out, "I was walking through the hall way today and noticed this." From the back pocket of his jeans, he pulled out a folded piece of paper, thrusting it into my hands.
Curious, I opened it, groaning as I gazed it over. I was announcing the annual Twilight Town Struggle match, calling everyone to either sign up or come and cheer on their favorite competitor.
"I think you should sign up, Roxas. You did so well last time," Sora said, gauging my reaction cautiously.
"Sora, I don't know—" I began.
He cut me off. "Don't. Don't say no yet. Just think about it, okay?"
"I'll think about, but—"
"Please." His one simple word had me biting back all complaint and excuse I could think of.
"Okay," I said with a sigh, "I'll think about it."
"Good," he said with a bright smile, flopping onto my lap and making himself comfortable.
"Sora! I'm not a couch!" I complained, half-shoving him off. We both knew I wouldn't though.
"Of course you are," he said, poking me in the side.
"You can sit on me, if you want," Riku said slyly from his place on the couch.
"No!" I said. "You'll just grope him! Sora, you have to stay here so I can protect your virginity!"
For some reason, Zexion found this hysterical, probably more for the delicate shade of cherry Riku's face was becoming than for the actual statement. In return, I got a pillow thrown at me, smacking me right in the face. But it was worth it. Oh yeah, it was worth it.
--
"Roxas," Namine said nervously one day as the two walked home from school. A fierce blush was forming on her face and Roxas couldn't understand why. "Roxas, there's something I need to tell you."
He raised an eyebrow. Namine never acted nervous, at least while she was around him. They had always been completely comfortable around each other, in his opinion anyway. "What is it?" he asked. Her behavior was making him nervous. "Is everything alright? Did something happen?"
"Oh, it's nothing like that," she said quickly, giving a small, edgy laugh. "Nothing bad has happened. It's just something that I probably should have told you a while ago."
Nearly two years had passed since that day in the hallway when Namine realized her not-so-platonic feelings for her best friend. Now they were fifteen and smack-dab in the middle of their awkward teenage years.
"Okay," he said, giving a sigh of vast relief. "You don't have to be nervous, Nam. You know you can tell me anything."
"I know," she said quickly, "it's just hard to put to words." She took another anxious deep breath before the words tumbled out of her mouth. "Roxas, I like you."
Frowning and more than a little confused, the boy replied, "I like you too. You're my best friend."
Shaking her head and wearing a pained expression, she alleged, "No, Roxas, not that kind of like. I like you like I would a boyfriend."
"Oh," he said. A moment later, the words sank in. "Oh! Y-you…what?"
Slowly but surely, Namine was losing her nerve. She knew that if she didn't ask right now, she probably never would. Living with the possibility of never knowing what could have been wasn't an option. She was perfectly aware of the fact that no matter what Roxas' response would be, it would change their relationship forever. He might say yes, and then they would be dating. Or he might shrug it off and pretend it never happened, or maybe he would simply avoid her. The prospect of the latter two hurt, but she knew she had to do this.
"Roxas, will you go out with me?"
He was silent for a long time, practically an eternity. She didn't need to even look at him to know that the wheels in his head were turning round and round, trying to sort through everything she'd just said.
She's my best friend, I can't believe she likes me, he thought. But she's the only person I've got on a daily basis who I can talk to, who understands me. And she's always been
there for me, no matter what. I kind of owe her. She puts up with all my excuses and quirks…
He bowed his head in stricter concentration, eyeing the cracks in the sidewalk as they made their way to their respective houses. I can do this for her, it's what she wants…
"Okay," he said softly, giving her a small smile.
Her eyes widened in surprise. "Are you serious, Roxas? You-you will?"
He nodded. "Of course," he murmured. "I said I would and I never go back on my word."
--
For once, Roxas was semi-content with his life. He had just come home from a visit to his mom and little brother in Twilight Town and he had a best friend, who was now actually his girlfriend. He enjoyed spending time with her, even if his feelings weren't exactly the same as hers were. And best of all, his dad had been distracted lately, in turn ignoring his son almost entirely.
But Roxas had come to believe that good things never lased forever, and he was right. One night while he and Namine were holding hands and watching a movie in his living room, his dad came storming in through the front door, slamming things around. Roxas didn't need further prompting to realize that his dad was in one of his moods, one of his rages.
He turned to her and offered her a smile, trying his best to make it seem normal. "I think my dad is in a bad mood. You should probably go, Nam."
She appeared concerned, but nodded, standing up.
"Dad!" Roxas called from the living room. "I'm going to walk Namine home!"
"Fuck if I care!" was the reply. "Just get your ass back here and don't take all day."
Namine's eyes widened. It was true that she didn't particularly like Roxas' dad, but she had never seem (or heard) him so angry before.
The couple made it to Namine's house in roughly five minutes and stood talking on her front porch for a few minutes before he thoughtfully kissed her good-bye and headed back home. He was dreading having to go in the house but knew that if he delayed, it would only make his dad all the more irate.
"What the hell took you so long?" his dad asked as Roxas walked in the front door. He had been planning on just sneaking up to his room.
"She lives a few blocks away, Dad, I—"
"No excuses!" he screamed. "What the hell did I tell you about making so many God damned excuses. You're just like him!" Roxas had not the slightest clue as to whom he was supposedly like, and let it go. He could tell that his dad had been drinking, his breath reeking of alcohol.
"I'm sorry, Dad," the blond replied.
"Don't you sorry me, you little punk!"
Twenty minutes later, Roxas was walking to the Emergency room, insurance card clutched tightly in his good hand.
--
Scene 3: Discovered
"So, Roxas, Sora tells me that you're considering entering the Struggle again this year," Mom said over dinner, passing a bowl of mashed potatoes to Demyx.
I shot Sora a nasty look, knowing full well what he was doing, mentioning to Mom that I was thinking about entering the Struggle, as if it was my idea. He knew perfectly well that I couldn't flat-out say no to Mom. At least he had the grace to look away guiltily.
"Maybe," I replied tersely. "I haven't really decided one way or the other yet. I just found out about it today."
She smiled kindly at me. "I think it would be a good idea, dear. You really need to get out to the house more, and it will give you a chance to meet some new people."
Now I was getting frustrated. Damnit, I didn't understand why everyone else seemed to have trouble figuring out that I didn't want to get out of the house more, nor did I want to meet new people.
So I stayed quiet.
I think Mom noticed the way I clammed up at the mere mention of it and decided to change the subject. Turning to Demyx, she asked, "So how was band practice?"
My foster brother beamed. He loved talking about music and would any chance he got. "It went great! We learned this new song that we're playing at the concert in a few weeks. I even get my own solo!"
"You didn't tell me you were getting a solo," Zexion said quietly from Demyx's other side. He had an uncharacteristically playful smile on his face.
"I didn't?" Demyx asked, frowning. "I thought I did!"
"You told everyone about it but me."
"I'm sorry, Zexion," he said awkwardly, quickly busying himself with scooping a large blob of mashed potatoes onto his plate.
"Dem, I'm only teasing."
"Oh." Demyx smirked before jabbing Zexion in the ribs. "You're such a jerk!"
I watched the two of them, suddenly seething. I was jealous out of my mind, wanting back that sort of playful banter and repartee that only came with being in a relationship with someone.
But I really didn't want to explode at them like I had before so many times, instead just excusing myself.
"Roxas, you haven't even eaten anything," Mom said, alarmed.
Patting my stomach, I said, "It's just my stomach, it kind of hurts. Doctors said that was natural with ulcers. I'll get something later."
I walked to my room and lay down on my bed, pulling my mp3 player from my end table and turning it on. I searched for the loudest, most angry song I could find and promptly turned the volume all the way up, trying to drown out the world.
The door opened a few minutes later. Not bothering to open my eyes, I knew that it was Sora. Everyone else would have knocked. Well, maybe not Demyx…
I felt my bed sink down a bit as he sat beside me, taking one of my headphones and putting it into his own ear. Together, we sat there for the next few hours, just listening to music and soaking in the other's company.
--
Three days had passed since Roxas' little trip to the emergency room. X-rays had been taken and it was discovered that he had a broken wrist and arm. He was careful to keep from wincing when a doctor or nurse had accidentally grazed one of his covered and unvoiced bruises.
The doctor that saw him was fairly familiar with the boy, this not being the first time Roxas had shown up there. "Another skateboarding injury?" the man asked with a smile. Numbly, Roxas nodded.
They put his arm in blue plaster and let him go with a small bottle of pain killers and a prescription to get more. His dad got it filled without a word, leaving the bottle on the counter for his son to find. He took two and decided to pay Namine a visit. She had been worried since Roxas told her about his arm, telling him he should probably give up his stupid skateboard before he cracked his skull open. His prompt reply had been, "When hell freezes over." But he was medicated and she forgave him.
By the time he knocked on her door, he was already high, both feeling less and more woozy. She admitted him with a smile. "Sorry about the clutter," she said as he stepped into the living room. Books and notes were littered over every inch of surface, save a small space on the couch, just big enough for one person to sit. "Dad's been studying. He has to re-new his pilot's license in a few days. But we can go into my room if you want."
Wordlessly, he nodded, following her into her room. Deftly, he wandered over to her desk and picked up her open sketch book, gazing at the picture in his hand.
"I just started that one. I was working on it when you got here."
"It's really good," he said, slightly giggly. She smiled at him, taking it from his hands to admire her work.
It was a picture of the two of them when they were younger, sitting the on swings at a park as they always used to. She'd used pastels on the picture, blending the bright colors together brilliantly.
"I really like it."
"It's for your birthday next week. You weren't supposed to see it yet."
Nodding, he laid down on her bed, placing a hand over his head after kicking his shoes off.
"Are you okay, Roxas?" she asked. He nodded, not telling the truth.
"Okay." She knew that there was no point in pressuring him about it. If he was lying, there was no way for her to know. Sighing, she sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers. Looking down at her boyfriend, she said, "I just want you to know that I love you, Roxas."
"Love you too, Namine," Roxas said faintly, giving her hand a small squeeze.
"I know, just not in the same way." He was silent. Glancing around her room, she turned to him again and said, "My dad and sisters aren't home." Drugged, Roxas failed to see what exactly she meant. Frowning, she prompted again, "Will you be my first, Roxas?"
At that, his eyes snapped open. "You want to…"
"Make love, yes."
"Oh," he said, unthinking. Without giving him much time to think, she leaned down and kissed him. He was still for a moment, before responding, burying his uncasted hand in her soft blond hair. The kiss grew quickly heated, far more aggressive than they usually were, lips, teeth and tongue coming together.
In his haze, Roxas didn't notice sitting up, nor the fact that Namine had pulled off his shirt and undid his pants.
--
It didn't last long. Afterwards, the two lay beside each other, breathless. He'd tried to be gentle but didn't have anyway of knowing.
"Namine," he began, "I didn't hurt you, did I?" He didn't think he'd be able to stand it if he had.
She shook her head, smiling softly at him. "Roxas, it hurts all girls on their first time. It felt really good after a minute."
He didn't seem too convinced, however. Sitting up, he buried his face in his hands.
"Roxas," she said, trying to make him feel better. She knew of his insecurities. "I thought always felt better after having sex. Don't worry, it was good for me too."
He nodded, accepting that Namine was not one to lie, even if it was to make him feel better. "Okay," he replied. "I'm glad."
She laughed, tugging on his arm. "We should probably get dressed before my dad gets back though."
They stood, grabbing their strewn about clothes. After tugging her t-shirt over her head, Namine gazed at Roxas' chest and let out a gasp. "Roxas! Where did you get those bruises?" she asked, stepping closer to him.
The color drained from the boy's face. Almost viciously, he jammed his own shirt over his head, but wasn't too successful because his arm was still very sore and very much in a cast. "There from when I fell on my skateboard," he said with a shrug, hoping that he appeared nonchalant.
"That's not from falling," she said, stepping closer. Forcing his shirt back up, she placed her hand over a large bruise on his side. It was an identical fit, except for the fact that her hand was much smaller than the one that left the bruise. "Roxas, how did you get these?"
There were numerous other bruises littering his chest, fist-shaped, finger-shaped. She didn't know how she missed them before. But something dawned on her. "The other night, at your house, your dad was so angry. Did he do this to you?"
Roxas couldn't look her in the eye. He wouldn't confirm it, but he wouldn't lie to her either. He couldn't, not to Namine.
Her face became livid, eyes flashing and furious. "All the injuries you've had over the years, did your dad give them all to you?"
Again, he was silent and condemning. "Oh Roxas," she said as her eyes filled with tears. Stepping closer to him, she wrapped her arms around him, trying to comfort them both. "How come you never said anything? Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you."
He held her as her tears soaked his shirt. "I couldn't tell…" he said scarcely above a whisper. "I couldn't tell…"
Pulling away fiercely, she gazed up at him, determined. "We have to tell someone. We have to get you help. You don't deserve this, Roxas."
Stepping away from her and shaking his head slowly from side to side, he blanched. "You can't tell anyone, Namine. I have to protect Sora! Swear you won't tell anyone! Please, I have to protect him!"
"Roxas, what does your little brother have to do with this?" she asked, confused. She tried taking a step towards him, but he retreated further. Hurt filled her, but she let it go.
"Please, Namine, you have to swear!" he said frantically.
"You know I can't do that, Roxas," she said quietly. "I can't knowingly let you get hurt day after day. I can't believe I didn't put it together before now! I'm so stupid!"
"Please," he said begged softly.
"Roxas…" Namine tried to hug him again, but he was out the door before she could, leaving her standing there, stunned.
She heard her dad come in the front door a moment later. He walked into her room, puzzled. "Why was Roxas running from here like his pants were on fire?" he asked, trying to make a joke. He always thought the boy was a little on the weird side, but he liked him immensely nevertheless.
He noticed the tears that still clung to his daughter's eyes. "Namine, what is it?"
She looked up at her dad, fresh tears filling her eyes. "I just found out that Roxas is being abused."
--
Scene 4: New Beginning
I snuck out of my room around midnight, moderately sure that everyone else in the house was sleeping. Sora had been snoring in his bed for the past couple of hours.
Making my way slowly, I managed to only trip over one backpack and pair of sneakers, an incredible feat considering the fact that five teenage boys lived in the house. Making a pickle, pepperoni, and cream cheese sandwich and sneaking a Coke (I wasn't supposed to be consuming caffeinated beverages, by the way), I began heading to the back porch to sit and soak up the crisp night air when I heard something that distinctly resembled a sob.
Quietly traipsing in the general direction of the noise, my mom's room, I paused, listening hard. Muffled conversation was heard, along with a little more crying.
"It'll be alright, Mom, trust me. He'll get better, but it will take some time." Zexion said in a hushed, but comforting tone. My gut wrenched, tossing all ideas of eating my sandwich to the wind.
They were talking about me.
"I just don't know what to do. I'm his mother, it's my job to know what to do," I heard my mom say, her voice thick was a despondent emotion. "It's like he's given up on living." A particularly sharp sob stole through the air, slicing me deeply. "It's like he's dead inside."
Honestly, I couldn't listen to anymore. I was nauseous over the fact that Mom was crying over me. I knew that my behavior had to be affecting the others, but I'd never given it much thought before now. Zexion was right, I was entirely selfish.
Sandwich and Coke abandoned, I lay in bed that night, dwelling on the past. Things I hadn't given much thought to in years poked through, old wounds re-opening. I'd never realized how much I'd hurt my mom over the years, simply even by volunteering to stay with Dad. And when she'd found out what he'd been doing and how long it had been going on, it nearly killed her… And now this.
I decided that doubling my efforts was the only option. I could at least make everyone think I was getting better, emend the situation. They deserved it. In my heart of hearts, though, I knew I would never really recover, not when the wound would forever remain open and raw.
--
By the next morning as the six of us sat down for breakfast, I had made up my mind. Tentatively, I drank a substantial gulp of o.j. to clear my throat before quickly glancing over at my mom. I could see that she'd put make-up on to cover the fact that her eyes were still the slightest touch puffy. I stole a glance at my younger brother to my right, who was preoccupied, seemingly shoving as much waffle into his mouth while still managing to function like a semi-normal person.
Clearing my throat with what was hopefully an attention-attaining cough, I said, "I decided to sign up for the Struggle."
Sora dropped his fork on the floor, spraying Demyx, who sat across from him, with a rather unpleasant shower of breakfast foods. "Ew, Sora, gross!" the blond said, jumping up and grabbing Zexion's napkin (his own was already thoroughly used) to swab himself clean of the chewed chow.
"Sorry," Sora said after a moment of chewing and swallowing. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he turned to stare at me, eyes wide. "You-you're seriously gonna do it, Roxas?" he asked, disbelieving.
I nodded, a small, surprisingly genuine smile on my face. From across the table I saw Zexion smiling at me knowingly before smirking over at Riku. "Twenty bucks, please," he said, his hand outstretched.
"Damnit," Riku cursed under his breath. "I thought for sure you'd never do it, Roxas."
A few hours later after Mom had gone to work and Riku, Sora, Zexion, and Demyx had all left for school, I grabbed the keys to the car Axel and I had shared while we were away at college and headed out the door. It had been a while since I'd driven the car, especially since I'd come to hate them for the simple fact that it was the way he'd died. But this wasn't the car he'd been driving that night, it had been in the shop then.
Hayner Hamilton and I had quickly become friends after I moved to Twilight Town my sophomore year, hanging out nearly as much as Namine and I used to back on Destiny Islands. It was at his encouraging that I'd first participated in the junior division of the Struggle three years ago and, surprisingly enough, placed second, losing only to Hayner himself. He'd always been a good friend, completely understanding and never pushing me to talk about anything I didn't particularly want to talk about.
Knocking on his front door, his mom opened it a moment later, her face pleasantly surprised. "Roxas, it's so good to see you!" she said merrily. "We've missed you." She quickly hugged me before admitting me inside.
"It's good to see you too, Mrs. Hamilton," I replied.
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop being so formal?" she said, waving it off.
"Mom?" I heard Hayner call out from the hallway, his footsteps coming closer. "Who's here?" He appeared a moment later, just as surprised as his mom, but quickly grinning at me. "Roxas! What the hell you doing here?" he asked, pulling me into a slack head-lock and giving me a noogie.
"Ah! Hayner, get the hell off!" I protested, fighting him off. His mother left without a word, still smiling contentedly. He continued to smirk at me for a moment, hands on hips, before asking, "So seriously, what's going on?"
"You wanna Struggle?" I asked, shoving the flier Sora had given me the day before into his hands. His eyes gazed it over quickly before again meeting mine, a smile only worthy of the Cheshire cat on his face.
More Author's Notes: Bah, leave a review...or whatever.