Red Letter Day – part 1

Ellen Kuhfeld

oOo

The second half of this chapter got away from me, and the whole thing had to be re-named in consequence. But it's still pretty much the same first half, except for a few tweaks to the language.

oOo

Ranma was wearing his finest Chinese silks. He stood from the table, which bore the remnants of a light meal. Kuno Tatewaki rose with him, wearing formal kendo-gi and hakama, followed by Kodachi, who wore a kimono of red satin brocaded with black roses. Akane, in a yellow sun-dress, was already standing. She was holding two glasses of water.

"Now's th' time, people," Ranma said. "You've seen how m' father's curse works – y' nearly knocked me over yesterday, chasin' him with yer super-soakers. Take my hands, so y'know I'm stayin' in one place. Akane?"

Akane handed a glass of cold water to Tatewaki, and a glass of hot water to Kodachi, then stepped back and took one of the deceptively-casual stances of Anything Goes – just in case.

"Right now, I'm the person I wuz born as," Ranma said. "Pour cold water on me, Tatewaki."

"Pig-tailed goddess!" "Scarlet harridan!"

"Kodachi, some warm water, please." And Ranma returned to his male form. "I ain't a goddess, and I ain't a harridan. I'm Ranma. Since oyaji took me to China, I got two forms. An' water chases me around, so the form I wear keeps changin'.

"But whichever form, it's the same me. An' it's been rough bein' your eternal love in one form an' your eternal enemy in the other. Both of you. I mean, I really woulda appreciated it if you'd noticed I was the same person either way. It's not like I didn't try tellin' you. But I think playin' with th' panda helped you break on through. Y' didn't have any strong feelin's 'bout him, so it didn't cost you anythin' to see."

Tatewaki was rocking on his heels, hand over his face, muttering "Blind, blind, Kami-sama, was I blind!" Ranma motioned Akane towards Kuno with his head, but she shook her head 'no'.

Ranma sighed, and splashed himself with cold water from Tatewaki's glass. Then she took his arm. "Tacchi-kun, we were all blind. You couldn't see we didn't want you the way you wanted us. We didn't see how much it was hurtin' you when we beat you up in front of the school. I mean, we didn't mind beatin' you up – that's what martial artists do for exercise. But we shouldn't'a done it in front o' everybody.

"Just one more try, Tacchi-kun. We got past the 'foul sorcerer', we got past the 'fierce tigress', now let's see if we can get past the 'pigtailed goddess'. I can't be y'r goddess, but maybe we can be friends." Tatewaki looked from under his hand, and saw her smiling. " I thought you'd be more comfortable 'f a gal held yer arm this way. It ain't romance, it's comfort." Tatewaki smiled back at her, tremulously.

Ranma looked over at Kodachi, who was still standing in the same place, the same pose. Her mouth was slightly open in surprise, her eyes more open still, and there were thin trails of smoke coming out of each ear. Well, it wasn't actual smoke, but Ranma's ki senses could tell Kodachi's mind was whirling madly in pursuit of its own tail. Which wasn't an actual tail, but …

Akane was watching Kodachi, still ready to move instantly if needed. Ranma patted Tatewaki's hand, then went over to the low table and splashed some tea, turning male again. He smiled wryly at Akane, then went over to take Kodachi's hands. "Dachi-chan? It's Ranma."

Kodachi twitched. Her eyes came back to life, widened even further as she saw Ranma holding her hands. Then she stepped back, and jerked her hands free. "I am sorry, Ranma-sama, but you can no longer pay court to me. It would not be appropriate for a samurai to have a spouse half male, half female. It breaks my heart, but such is the way of the world.

"To soothe my heart, I shall have vengeance, instead: vengeance on the foul sorcerer Saotome who caused this tragedy of magics. The panda must die!" She gathered herself, swept with unstoppable dignity from the room, slid the shoji door closed behind her. They could hear her voice murmuring regrets to the hostess. There was a short pause, then a distant and receding voice crying "The sorcerous panda will suffer! Ohohohoho, he shall suffer the death of a thousand haircuts!"

Ranma and Akane, dumbstruck, looked at Tatewaki. He shrugged. "We are a traditional family. Obviously my sister has decided to take a tradition I no longer need, and combine it with one of my father's."

Nobody wanted to argue with this, so they sat and had one last cup of tea. Then Tatewaki stood. "Be kind to me, for I have lost both my loves in the past few weeks. And while you were my loves only in my mind, wounds to the mind are the most painful of all. I must go to meditate; but perhaps I shall see you this Monday at school – my friends? Now stay as long as you wish, for everything here has been taken care of." He left, with as much dignity as Kodachi but without the subsequent outburst.

Ranma looked at Akane. "Did that go well, or poorly?"

"I don't know. Part of me is overjoyed, and part wants to cry."

"Me, too."

oOo

They were arguing as they walked together towards the Tendo compound.

"Why wouldn't you try to comfort him?"

"I have a longer history with Kuno than you do. Smile at him, yes. Be friends, maybe. Touch him, NO!" Akane thought a moment. "But thanks for asking me to comfort him. I might have thought you were doing something perverted there, if you hadn't asked me first."

"What is this thing you got about perversion?"

"Well, after the fights started, people began to gossip. Just why was I beating up all those boys? Was it because, perhaps, I didn't like boys? Perhaps I liked girls?" Akane smiled wryly. "Of course I was shouting 'I hate boys' as I charged, even before you got here. That didn't help. Just another problem that goes back to Kuno …"

"And there I was, a girl you liked, revealed as a boy. And nobody was sure which of me you were engaged to. Being called 'tomboy' prolly didn't help either." Ranma sighed. "We got things to work on." He sniffed the breeze. "There's one the Cat and I gotta work on: a sick panda hidin' behind the dojo. Wanna help me?"

"How am I going to help you with the Panda?"

" If the Cat starts actin' up, remind me that I really don't wanna kill him."

"Yeah, that sounds like the way I feel about Kuno."

They fell silent then, as they entered the compound. Akane went to one end of the dojo and Ranma to the other, and they worked their way around the back. Akane rousted the panda first; he bolted away from her, only to run into a blockade named Ranma. "Goin' somewhere, oyaji?"

The panda was in bad shape, with bald spots scattered about, and was shivering and coughing from the chill he'd taken in the canal the night before. But he still had some spirit left. He held up a sign asking "Oh, what have I done to have such an ungrateful son?"

"As I recall, oyaji, ya threw me in a pit full a' cats. Neither the cats nor I are happy with you over that."

Genma froze as he thought that over. He remembered Ranma-chan and the Cat tearing up the boulder. He remembered returning to his camp to find it shredded and stinking of – carnivore piss. Oh dear. Oh well, time for the Crouch of the Fierce Tiger. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was only thinking of teaching you a new technique! I didn't realize you wouldn't like it! I didn't even know to think of the cats!" It was amazing – for a man as lazy and illiterate as Genma, he could turn those signs out in an instant.

Ranma sighed, and picked the panda up by the shoulder. "Oh, what have I done to deserve such an unthinking and worthless father? C'mon in, oyaji, let's see if we can do somethin' about that cold ya have. Where'd ya get it? Steal it from a priest?"

Soon enough, they had Genma back and soaking in the hot furo to take the chill from his bones. Soun was in with his friend, giving him thimble-cups of hot sake. And Ranma had his fathers shredded and torn gi. He took it to Kasumi. "Oneechan, could ya do me a big favor an' wash this, then patch it? But patch it, y'know, with some bright-color cloth? I got an idea I wanna check."

"Oh?" Kasumi said as she held the gi out at arms' length.

"Yeah. I think that gi turns into the Panda's fur when he changes. It's frayed in all the places Principal Kuno gave the Panda a haircut. I wanna see what a few patches of hot pink do to him."

Kasumi closed her eyes and giggled. "Oh my, I'll try to make your father very handsome and decorative!" She headed towards the laundry with a spring in her step.

Ranma went back to the furo. From inside, he could hear Genma's muttered complaints. Ranma knocked on the door. "Kasumi's washin' and mendin' father's gi. With a cold like that, Mr. Tendo, why don't you put him to bed under a warm comforter until it's done?"

And then Ranma went to talk with Akane and Nabiki.