A last conversation between d'Arcy and Jane. He's about to go on with his invasion and before leaving Rosings, he had to speak to her.
Chapter 16: Courting Tiger...
Rosings, Kent. Friday August the seventh 1801
She was where his sentries had said.
She was looking at the little valley north of Rosings and the superb august morning light gave the countryside an enchanting aspect.
He spent a few minutes looking at her.
This time her hair was well dressed but not too well. Strands of hair were showing that they had problems to surrender to the general direction.
He moved in order to see her face.
He came at her right and he smiled at the perfection of her face.
But she was not smiling and he knew he was responsible for this lack of a smile.
Without looking at him she spoke to him.
"I've seen you... As usual you came out of the void, but I saw you looking at me."
"It's the only view I crave for..."
A hint of a smile came on her lips.
"You're quite a seducer, monsieur. Your words shout of passion and love and your acts are those of a killer and an invader..."
He moved toward her.
"Even a killer and an invader can fall in love, Miss Bennet. Not often, but, when it happens, it is quite a blow."
She glanced at him and then looked back at the little white and brown cottage where two girl children were playing with dolls. Nothing but the greatest grief could stop a child from playing and being happy. When had she lost that wonderful capacity?
"Why are you a killer, monsieur d'Arcy?"
"By choice, Miss Bennet. I have only contempt for the human race. Each swine I kill is a victory for the universe."
"And you killed a lot?"
"Indeed, Miss Bennet, I killed a lot of ugly and dangerous people."
He looked at the two little girls.
"Never a child though, and very rarely a woman... I do have some mercy for the little ones and admiration for those who are merciful enough to accept to bear life even while seeing what will probably happen to their offspring..."
"Genesis 1:22. And god blessed them saying Be fruitful and multiply and fill the water in the seas and let the fowl multiply in the earth" said Jane.
"The greatest lie of all" said d'Arcy. "Look at all those would be Christians who profess love and compassion and who accept that men are enslaved because of the color of their skin and that workers they put to work must process fifteen hours a day in order to feed their families. I hate them with all my heart and I will have no remorse at killing each and everyone of them."
D'Arcy moved nearer. A pace at the time as if he was fearing she would bolt if he came directly.
"I won't run away, monsieur d'Arcy. I was waiting for you. I wanted to hear what you have to say for yourself."
"Nothing, Miss Bennet. I'm no lawyer and I refuse to argue for what I did. I did what I had to do and even if I regret some of my decisions, I do not regret the path I choose twenty seven years in the past..."
"What's your age, monsieur d'Arcy?"
"Forty two, next fortnight..."
"I see..."
She took an long breath.
"I'm twenty two, monsieur d'Arcy. Twenty three next year in May. I'm no more a girl but I don't feel myself as mature. I have doubts, I have scruples and I'm unable to reach a conclusion in matters important."
He breached the last distance between them and took hold of her hand.
"If I can help you reaching only one of them, please ask, I promise I will answer all your questions with as much honesty as my situation permits..."
She looked at his hands holding hers.
"Well, monsieur d'Arcy, let's try a few easy questions : why are you here and what do you really want?"
"That is a question with layers and layers of answers" said he while looking at her delicate fingers. He could imagine those fingers gliding along his back while...
He stomped on these fantasies.
"Duty for a first. But it's not really true. It's true in a vague and forlorn way. I'm French and our countries are at war and bringing war to your country will probably avoid my country to be invaded by German mercenaries in the pay of your German kings... So when the First Consul asked me to lead this invasion force, I was only too happy to accept."
He looked at her face and her eyes trapped his mind. He could do nothing more than stare.
Stare at her eyes, wonderful blue green eyes. Stare at her delicate nose. Stare at... Everything... Everything that was her!
Jane could not smother her own smile. Charles had looked at her with admiration in his eyes. God, most men looked at her with admiration in their eyes.
And sometimes with lust.
But never ever had a man looked at her like this. He was as if stricken. And every muscle of his face beamed contentment and pleasure. He was there, fecing her, holding her hand and he had the look of a man who had just reached the most desired goal of his life.
Charlotte had spoken of him worshiping her.
Perhaps was she right...
All in all, she seemed to be quite a good observer of human kind in general and of the Bennet kind in particular.
Had she only spoken to her, that night at Meryton. Had she only...
She stopped that string of thoughts. She would have been shocked if Charlotte had even made an allusion...
She would have been her usual bigoted common idiot.
"You spoke of multiple layers, monsieur d'Arcy. Duty's the first..."
He came out of his daydream but his smile persisted.
"Yes, duty's the first. Than there's revenge!"
"Revenge, monsieur d'Arcy? What did Great Britain do to you?"
"The Royal Navy, to be specific, Miss Bennet. The Royal Navy has that bad habit to sink d'Arcy Admirals. And the last one they sunk was my favorite Grand Father. If you take into account that, at this time, I already hated and despised my father, his death was more than a shock for the teenager I was. I do believe all the hate I had for said father was duplicated and fell on the British. I never got over that peculiar hatred..."
"And though you pretend loving me, a typical British maiden..."
He shook his head.
"I must protest. If you were the typical British maiden, my men would have found not a free square yard on the shore of England. All the men of Europe would have been there to grasp one of you... And what a fight that would have been! No motivation problem, there..."
She blushed at his way of weaving compliments in his sentences.
He stopped talking and his eyes lighted from within. And his eyes were of a shade of blue she had never seen. One could lose oneself in such eyes.
"And though I fell in love at the first sight of you. Had you been in a navy officer frock, I would probably have passed my way and so not saving you and your friends and sister would have been my penance for all eternity..."
A laugh escaped her.
"I fear the Navy does not have uniforms for women."
"English sailors are an ugly bunch of superstitious sexists dogs" said he. "Had I not already hated them, I would now! I, for myself, would have no hesitation recruiting women to fight at my side. As you have shewn, they are quite capable of defending themselves and those they love. And in a fight, motivation is everything..."
"I prefer not being forced to fight, monsieur d'Arcy..."
He looked at her and his smile disappeared making place for a very serious mien.
"You would not have to. I could be at your side, fighting off everything and every one."
She agreed by nodding.
"I've seen your skills, monsieur d'Arcy. Quite impressive. You seem to be quite the warrior..."
"In my heart I'm a scholar, Miss Bennet. Nothing pleases me more than building new artifacts and devising new theories. But in order to learn what I wanted to learn there was a price to pay. And that price was learning to be a warrior..."
"Strange way to recruit scholars. What has fighting to do with knowledge?"
"That was the very question I wondered of for fifteen years. And finally I found the answer..."
"You did? Would it be possible that you explain to me why having the skill to kill with a sword is important in the line of hoarding knowledge."
"I have the skill to kill with everything, Miss Bennet. I can kill with my bare hands as effectively as with a sword, a staff, a knife or a garrote. Before and while giving me access to the world's knowledge they gave me all the means to protect my knowledge and to understand what, in false hands, too much forbidden knowledge could start."
"Forbidden knowledge, monsieur d'Arcy? How can there be forbidden knowledge?"
He looked at her through half closed eyes.
"Very easily, Miss Bennet. Our societies are overcrowded with forbidden knowledge..."
"How so?"
He took a long breath. He would not have thought that he would be here, this very morning, speaking of philosophic matters with the woman he fell in love with. He should be holding her in his arms and madly kissing her!
But he could sense her doubts. He could sense that she had not yet found an answer to the dilemma she was living because of him.
So philosophy it would be!
"Look at you, Miss Bennet. Do you think you will ever have a chance to help ruling this country as a member of Parliament?"
"Of course not, I'm a woman..."
She stopped and looked at him with comprehension in the eyes.
My, my, and she's so smart...
Never would he depart from England without her at his side. He knew it now as he had known it the first second he saw her.
He smiled a quite adoring little smile.
"You see. There is knowledge that is forbidden to women. As there is knowledge that is forbidden to farmers, workers and common sailors. These are the ways a ruling class makes sure that those under them --and women are, in terms of social positions, under men-- never will be able to overthrow them."
She shook her head.
"Why would we women want to overthrow the men?"
"Because they refuse to let you be as complete as you could be, Miss Bennet! They cripple you and, shame on you, you, as mothers, are their best crippling agents..."
He took a deep breath and nodded at her.
"Do you really believe that all women are born besotted, mindless creatures? Do you really believe that being born a farmer makes you automatically an inferior human being? No, Miss Bennet human societies are full of inequities and the most ugly of them all, is the way societies tend to restrict the availability to knowledge for certain part of the whole. Women being the greatest part of those who will not get their fair share..."
"But we are educated, monsieur, we have teachers..."
"Only in a very selected and seemly field of knowledge, Miss Bennet. Do you believe you'll ever get a course in economics or politics? Men have decided that women are sweet, loving, compassionate but mindless creatures who have not the intelligence to rule their own life. Never will they be able to rule the country because of their innate restrictions..."
"We had Queens. Powerful and crafty Queens who ruled the Kingdom..."
He did not answer to that remark. She knew as well as him that those exceptions were only that: exceptions. Three Queens for millions of domestic slaves... The numbers spoke for him!
She decided to come back to her initial question.
"Why then making you a warrior? I must admit I don't see the relation..."
"We should perhaps blame that on your woman mindlessness, shouldn't we" teased he.
"You cannot preach one thing and his contrary, monsieur d'Arcy..."
"I can always plead the occurrence of an exception, Miss Bennet. Even if most women are smart, one can always encounter a silly one..."
For a second her eyes darkened and than her smile came back.
"You're teasing me, monsieur d'Arcy. Be careful with such way! Papa has teased our mother as long as we can remember, my sisters and I. I could say that we are quite efficient in uncovering teasing remarks..."
"And that's an useful skill if I ever saw one!"
"It protects us against believing the sense of the words and concentrating on the feelings they convey. Papa is always teasing mama, ans she rarely gets the gist of his remarks. But what could pass as a vexing pastime on his part, we soon reckoned as his way to stay in touch with her, to show her that he was never indifferent to her. He cares in his very peculiar way for his wife, even if he teases her more than everything else..."
"I won't have to tease you to get your attention, will I?"
She shot a stern look at him.
"You've got all my attention, monsieur d'Arcy. And still you have not answered my question."
He nodded and was glad for the answer. She just, in her very concealed manner, admitted that she was taking his offers into consideration. He could not ask for anything else.
"When you have great knowledge, Miss Bennet, you have great responsibilities. And one of these responsibilities is not to give any of your Knowledge to unworthy people. And that's why, being human and as such being prone to making failures, they teach you, before giving you access to the most dangerous knowledge, to correct said failures if such happen."
Jane's face lost all colors.
"You mean kill the unworthy."
He nodded and his face became very grim.
"And everybody, he could have had a chance to teach..."
She swallowed.
"Did you make such a failure?"
"Once... And I had to kill more than twenty persons because of it. I never did it again. It was a harsh but necessary lesson."
"You killed him that you had taught?"
"I killed her that I had taught. And all those who had sent her to me mimicking love to get my knowledge. Anger was a welcomed ally that very night and even anger would have not been enough to male me kill her if I hadn't found her in the arms of another. That night I swore to myself never again to fall in love..."
She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"So much for foolish oaths" smiled he. "But all in all, I'm quite satisfied. It took fifteen years to meet another girl who was able to make me forswear myself..."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be! I was no monk and I had female company for the most part of my life. But I never again had the urge to take a woman at my side and to ask her to be my counterpart in a future family life."
He hold up a hand asking her to speak no more.
"I'm not asking for an immediate answer. I was able to wait fifteen years, I'll be able to wait a few weeks more. And with the invasion, I cannot afford to do all the courting I should. I owe it to my men to be at my best in the skills they need me to use to ensure a victory. But even if I cannot really court you, I'd be very happy if you would accept not to say 'no' just now..."
He let go of her hand and walked backward.
"I came to announce my --our-- departure."
"More invading to do?"
"I fear so much, Miss Bennet. I did not come to take only a chunk, I'm here to swallow the whole. And I fear that having you at my side, right now, would severely lessen my efficiency in just doing that."
He smiled at her.
"A last word, Miss Bennet. I'm a man of darkness and power, I will never deny it. As such it would be of great help to have at my side a creature of light and compassion. To reach, some day in the future, a certain balance and bring back the humanity I lost many years ago. I know you could be this..." He hesitated and his smile came back, more shy and more thoughtful. "...Angel. And with your help I could thwart the devil which lives in my heart. Please, Miss Bennet, do promise me that you'll consider my offer to come..."
He stopped talking and looked at her a question in his eyes.
"I promise, monsieur d'Arcy. And I'm already considering that offer that is still to come..."
"I can ask for no more!"
With these words, he bowed, turned around and disappeared in the woods.
As always, once out of her eyes, he just vanished...
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