CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

Ichigo stared as Rukia made her way towards Yumichika's unconscious form.

The way she approached the poor bastard reminded Ichigo of a spider closing in on its prey.

'Yumichika' she tapped his cheeks lightly, 'Yumichika' tapping it more forcefully, 'OI PRICK' and full palm slapped him round the face splitting his lip and leaving a massive red palm print.

Turning to Ichigo she looked at him and grinned, 'He is out cold, this is going to be FUNNNNNNNNNN' she said in a manic singsong voice, her eyes widened in a sudden revelation, gasping she practically spazed out in desperation to verbalise her idea, 'sumo, sumo, sumo, sumo' she stuttered over and over pointing to Yumichika's oblivious form.

Chad was the first to catch on to what she was babbling on about, and calmly and deliberately made plans against him, 'I think what our pixie faced psycho is trying to say is, does any one remember that over sized rubber sumo wrestler in the mall that we passed on our way here' there were nod's of ascension all round with Orihime over exaggerating hers to such an extent she almost head butted her own chest, 'Well I think if I am reading this right we or more correctly she wants to switch out Yumichika's Gi Gai with the sumo wrestler, after that I am kinda lost as to what's next'

Rukia by this point was manically nodding affirmative's and bouncing up and down, if she had started to Foam at the mouth no one would have been surprised, Ichigo scratched his head, and then shrugged, 'It's better than Orihimes idea to put make up on him and make him into a woman, he's already half way there.

lets do it, Chad I am afraid this is going to be all on you that thing is to heavy for any of us to manage'

Chad gave his trademark thumbs up.

As they clambered to their feet Uryu spoke up, 'I think one of us should wait here to make sure he doesn't wake up while we are gone'

Ichigo nodded in agreement, 'OK Uryu you wait here and keep an eye on sleeping ugly there' all he received in reply was a small curt nod of the head, Orihime sensing her chance offered to wait with him.

As the group stealthily made their way down the corridors, Uryu lit another joint and took a deep long drag then, passed it Orihime who in one fell swoop drained the rest and flicked away the roach watching it curl over the edge of the roof.

they reached the corner of the street without incident, mostly, half way out the school gates Renji thought he was a monkey and decided to swing from tree to tree only to crash on to the roof of a BMWZ4 and cause the alarm to blare out disturbing the neighbourhood, this in turn made the entire group scramble away like frightened dogs.

As they stood milling round on the corner trying to remember where they were going, Ichigo sparked up another joint and began puffing on it trying to think, Rukia began tugging on his sleeve, 'Come on this way, this way'

'The weed is affecting her more than I thought, she is behaving like a twelve year old'

he thought to himself as he was dragged off in the direction she was going.

The others seeing this display of out of character weirdness tagged along at a respectful distance.

Renji grumbled to himself about Rukia being his and no one else's although all of them knew that was a load of horse shit.

Reaching the mall three hours after they left the roof, they began their search for the elusive Sumo wrestler of Level three.

Back on the roof Yumichika was still out cold, while Uryu was still puffing on a joint while relieving his over stressed bladder in the corner away from where they all sat.

Orihime crept up behind him and darted around his left side trying in desperation to catch a glimpse of Uryu's sausage.

'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ORIHIME' Uryu screamed as he frantically finished his business and tucked himself away.

In as whiny a voice as she could manage, while rubbing the toe of one shoe on the floor, pouting at Uryu she retorted, 'I was only curious, others have said things and I wanted to see for myself if it was what they said it was'

'WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WHAT HAVE PEOPLE SAID'

'well, people have said that since you got your powers back your Bows gotten bigger and the arrows have gotten wider, so I just wanted to see for myself, if it had really gotten any bigger'

Uryu sighed in exasperation, 'Orihime you are such an air head, they didn't mean my penis, they literally meant my bow; Jesus Christ look.'

Ishida brought his bow humming to life.

The compressed energy danced through it like ethereal fire, drawing back on the bow he formed one of the arrows and both were indeed larger than the original, by quite a high margin.

Standing there stunned Orihime pointed and screamed at him.

Grabbing a broken piece of railing, she charged, screaming all the while about giant blue spiky aliens eating her friend.

Falling backwards in an attempt to avoid her wild swinging, Ishida managed to get one foot up and plant it firmly between Orihimes breast and hold her at bay.

This was, while still managing to maintain a drawn bow and not have a bolt of compressed spirit energy wildly fly off through the air.

They ran through the mall like monkeys on crack, Ichigo yelling like a pregnant woman giving birth, while Rukia hammered on ahead sounding like a Olympic athlete closely followed by Ikkaku and Renji

Chad lumbered along the oversized Rubber sumo wrestler balanced over his head as he ran, As they passed the boutiques and shops on level three the chorus strains of Stand alone by God Smack could be heard in the distance, Chad started to laugh almost dropping the sumo dummy over the balcony edge; as he watched himself reflected in the windows running in time with the music.

Although in Chad's head he seemed to be running faster than anything on two feet, he was very quickly being left behind by the others, and as he turned to see where the they were the point was very securely hammered home, as an old woman on a mobility scooter sailed past him leaving Chad and a soft electric whine in her wake.

Chad brow furrowed in confusion as he watched the o.a.p speed on ahead of him, then he ran on as Ichigo and the others reached the Exit calling for him to hurry up, bells had begun to chime and mall security was charging after almost upon him as he carried on running.

Seeing them in the windows reflection, Chad mentally shrugged and planting one foot on the brass railing, jumped from the landing, sailing past onlookers astonished to see a seven foot Mexican and a giant rubber sumo wrestler plummet to the ground below, Landing on his feet Chad bounded away leaving a trail of stunned people and security personnel behind them.

They arrived at Uraharas shop, just as the sun began to dip in the western sky, Ichigo who by now was on his seventeenth joint of the evening walked up and kicked the door in.

'Hat and Clogs, get you wrinkled blonde ass out here we need you'

Urahara appeared from behind the counter of his shop and walked over to Ichigo, 'Well isn't this a surprise, I hope you know you owe me a door' he said with out batting an eye lid.

'And you owe me' Ichigo grumbled jabbing his finger into Kiskue's chest, his head lolling about like a marionette without the strings.

'And why is that'

Urahara smirked barely containing his amusement at Ichigo's current state.

'Because I, didn't shag your cat, even though it wanted me to' Uraharas eyes shot open at that, and as he stepped to the side his sword appearing in his hand as the cane dissolved Ichigo keeled over falling flat on his face out cold, snoring loudly into the wooden floor.

Shrugging Urahara turned to the others as Rukia stepped forth and began to explain the situation.

Twenty minuets and nine joints later a thoroughly stoned Kiskue charmed and bound the Sumo wrestler sending Tessai to retrieve Yumichika from the school roof top.