December 20th

ORB

Erica pulled up to see her friend's small home cheerfully decorated for the upcoming season. She couldn't hide a grin of her own when she saw the multi-coloured lights peppered along the house. ORB was no exception when it came to celebrating the holiday, despite the utter lack of snow the country was still happily involved in the festivities.

The redhead let herself in without a peep, slipping out of her shoes to hear Christmas carols blaring from the radio, a chipper voice she knew all-too-well singing along with the well-known melodies. She followed the sounds, peeking into the kitchen to see the woman's handiwork.

Treats of pretty much every shape and size covered the counter, most wrapped up and ready for storage, a few others set out to cool and be frosted. The brunette was wearing a rather amusing red apron with the words "I'd tell you the recipe, but then I'd have to kill you" scrolled cheerfully across the front, and she was still singing.

A streak of flour had managed to find its way ono her face, and her hands were a pale white with the baking substance, but her marigold eyes were shining and she was singing her heart out, ignorant to her new guest.

Erica grinned broadly, leaning on the doorframe as she watched her friend's progress. The former captain looked like she was rather enjoying herself, completely focussed on her work while having the time of her life. She basically danced around the kitchen, still singing and working as she did.

Murrue still hadn't noticed her company, now in the process of adding the fresh fruit pieces to the cake batter, mixing and still singing to her favourite carol she remembered from home when she was a child herself. "Walking in a winter wonderland..."

Erica couldn't resist it any longer, folding her arms and calling casually, "So, how many calories are in all of that?"

"Eek!" Murrue gasped sharply in alarm, promptly dropped her mixing spoon. It landed on the counter, and she whirled, seeing the redheaded Coordinator grinned from ear to ear behind her. Blood rushed to her face and coloured her cheeks, and she stumbled over rational thought as embarrassment took over. "Uh... H-How long have you been there?"

"Long enough." Erica replied with an ever-widening grin, eyes twinkling in amusement as she realized her friend's acute embarrassment. She couldn't help it, she teased, "My only regret is I didn't have a camera."

Murrue tried to scowl but the expression wouldn't stick, she ended up grinning awkwardly along with her friend. "Shut up." she turned back to her baking and answered absently, "And to answer your first question, it's Mu's cake so you can guess what it'd be like."

"Oh?" Erica wandered in, peeking over her friend's shoulder to look at the now rather pinkish batter in the mixing bowl. In what she hoped was a stealthy movement, she made to steal a bit of the batter.

Only to receive a sharp smack on the hand with a wooden spoon. "Ow!" Erica drew back her hand but couldn't hide a smirk when she realized she'd managed to steal some anyway. She promptly ate it so Murrue wouldn't have the chance to rob her of her stolen goods.

"You're just like him, you can't wait for anything when you want something." Murrue murmured, but her voice wasn't the least bit saddened, it was amused. She continued to stir, glancing over her shoulder to see how Erica enjoyed the mix. "Good enough for you?"

"What's in it?" Erica asked curiously, leaning over again to get a better glance at whatever was inside the mixing bowl. "It tastes a bit odd, but good."

"Booze." Murrue answered with a straight face, looking over to see Erica look stunned for a second, expecting a punch-line. Then she laughed outright, shaking her head in sheer mirth. "Cherries, the normal mix, a good shot of alcohol and a secret ingredient known only to me unless you want to die in your sleep."

"Booze." Erica was still in stitches, having to now lean on the counter to avoid falling over in her laughing riot. She shook her head, brushing away the tears of laughter and asked cheerfully, "Dibs on the first piece. Though I gotta ask, are you honestly serving that to the kids?"

"Yeah cause you know I want to get the orphans drunk." Murrue shot back sarcastically, rolling her eyes at her friend's mock-audacity. She couldn't help but grin too, the festive cheer had gotten its hooks in her and she was enjoying every single minute of the fun. "I made a separate one for them, it's a candy-cane cake." She nodded to her left, eyes on her work, "It's the red and white on one the table."

"You've been busy." Erica noted, now looking around to see what concoctions had been cooked up in the kitchen. The cake sat prettily in the centre of the table, protected by a glass case of sorts. It was a double-layer circle, iced white with red and white chips of the famous peppermint candies around the edges and dusting the top. Cookies and other treats were packed into containers sitting on the far right counter, all finished and ready to be tested out.

Knowing that Murrue had a good handle on things, she took a seat at the table and watched as Murrue poured the batter into a tin and slid it into the oven, kicking it shut behind her and removing her mitts and undoing her apron. She sat down with a laughing sigh beside her friend, cheeks pink and eyes still bright.

"Finished for today?"

"Oh yeah, I've got enough food for a damn army. I told Lacus I'd take care of the treats, she and Miss Yamato will be doing the actual dinner." Murrue snickered, shaking her hair loose of her ponytail, sending it cascading down her shoulders, bouncing with the new freedom. "So I've been pretty busy."

"But you're having fun." Erica pointed out with a grin, settling back in her chair and looking rather pleased. 'It's about time... This is how she's meant to be, I can feel it. Happy, having fun, living in the moment, for the moment. It's a much better change. She won't ever really be who she was before, but... This is good enough.'

"Yeah... We're just missing the snow, then it would be a complete Christmas." Murrue sighed regretfully, pursing her lips and slumping unconsciously with her wistfulness. She really did miss the fact that she would see no snow this year, or any other year. It was almost a depressing thought.

"Snow..." Erica murmured thoughtfully, pursing her lips in an oddly comedic look. She searched through her head, remembering her friend's stories of her childhood where the snow would get waist deep after horrific blizzards, and the weeks taken off from school because the snow was just too heavy. Her friend's grin had been broad and bright, the memories clearly treasured ones.

"You've lived here for ages, ever seen a real blizzard raging outside your window?" Murrue asked with interest, getting to her feet to fetch some coffee. Erica's silence was her answer, and Murrue snorted and shook her head in amusement. "You're really missing out."

"You're the one who seems to be missing her old life. Ever wanted to go back?" Erica questioned with a snicker, accepting the mug of coffee her friend offered her as they settled back into their chairs and continued to chat.

"Back home?" Murrue asked in momentary confusion, blinking twice before getting what her friend meant. "Ah, you mean back to my hometown... I've... Well, I guess I kind of entertained the idea a few times..." A small frown made its way to her face as she continued to think, sorting through her emotions and trying to find her real desires about her home.

"If you got the chance now, would you go back?" Erica tilted her head to the side, trying to hide her unease with the thought of losing both her friend and best worker in one sweeping blow.

"I... I'm not really sure." Murrue mumbled finally, hands curling around her mug and ignoring the searing heat that burned her palms from the motion. She was still frowning, her marigold eyes focussed on something her redheaded friend couldn't see. She continued to think, deeply immersed in the question and fantasies that surrounded the simple idea. "I mean... It's tempting, I'd love to go back, there's so much history there, you know?"

Not really knowing but wanting to placate her worried friend regardless, Erica simply nodded and continued to watch her thoughtful friend in silence.

"But it'd be so empty if I went back, memories or no memories." Murrue sighed, shaking her head and staring into the dark depths of her coffee mug, eyes growing more troubled. She spoke mostly to herself, lips still turned downwards and face a picture of unease. "My parents are both gone, I haven't seen my siblings in almost seven years, if I went back now all that'd be waiting for me is an empty house... Being here is probably better. I still miss the snow though."

"Heh, maybe next year we should go celebrate Christmas in the Arctic." Erica joked, a warm grin finding its way back to her face.

"Too much snow. Good try though." Murrue grinned too, happy to see her friend was trying to cheer her up and even more delighted to find that it was working. "I'll get through it... I gotta remember that I'm really just here to enjoy myself again."

"You'll be fine."

Copernicus

December 21st

"You know nothing's changed since you visited yesterday." Mu smirked broadly at his visitor, knowing she was mastering the impulse to hit him. She controlled herself spectacularly well, not even a flicker of annoyance crossed her face. "Why do you keep coming around?"

"First," Natarle answered him rather primly, straightening an invisible crease in her jeans as she watched him, "I'm bored out of my mind sitting in that stupid cabin by myself with nothing to do. Second, I want to know how you're doing. Third, I know you're just as bored as I am, so I'll visit to keep us both sane."

Mu couldn't hide a smile, knowing she was being quite honest with him. She'd been discharged a few days ago, put into one of the free cabins onboard the ship that he was still on. She didn't seem too pleased with the new development but she took it in stride, visiting each day since almost religiously. He enjoyed the company. "Good then."

She grinned at him for a moment, relaxing back into the hard plastic chair that served as her seat. She idly brushed back a strand of hair from her face and muttered unhappily, "I should really get this mess cut..."

"Your hair?" Mu asked in amusement, tilting his head to the side and examining her curiously. Her dark hair seemed to have grown an inch or so longer, in return he glanced at himself in the mirror, frowning a bit when he saw the twisted scar across his nose. "I guess mine's grown a bit too."

"True." Natarle snickered, now taking a good look at the blond. His hair grew much faster than hers, it was already looking shaggy. "I guess you need a haircut more than I do."

"Your hair looks better long." Mu teased, shooting her a brilliant hundred-watt grin. He was used to her reply, a bare hint of a smile appeared on her lips but she rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Maybe Halberton likes it long?"

She scowled at him, eyes narrowing and transforming to chips of violet coloured ice in moments. "What is with you and mentioning him? Do you have some sort of man thing for him?"

Mu looked properly insulted, but the mirth shone in his eyes anyway at her defensive reply. "I'm happily settled, you on the other hand are not."

"And I'm happy with that." Natarle cut him off coolly, eyes still narrowed and chips of ice. "Now drop the subject."

"Yes ma'am." Mu chortled unable to find himself scared of her. He remembered with a wry smile if he had been on the receiving end of that glare a few long months ago, he would have gone running for cover. Now, and oddly enough, it didn't scare him as it had back then, he was used to her.

"I do have good news involving him though." Natarle said suddenly, though grudgingly. She immediately had his attention, he was watching her with a very serious expression, all joking and mirth gone. "He says he might have cracked the records, he might have found Murrue in ORB."

"That's excellent!" Mu exclaimed in delight, mindlessly punching the air in celebration. The movement sent a shudder of pain down his spine and he flinched before flopping back into the pillows. She raised one eyebrow at his movement, and he smiled sheepishly at her, before hastily adding in his own defence, "I got excited, don't look at me like that."

"Commander Halberton says he's going to personally look into it, considering he actually knows who she is. He'll be travelling to ORB himself to see if he can find her." Natarle continued with her news casually, as though it didn't really mean all that much to her. She saw the excitement and impatience in the blond pilot's expression, and it made her crack a small smile. "If all holds, she'll know before New Years."

"That's great too!" Mu remarked cheerfully, careful to not move too suddenly. He was nearly bouncing up and down in the cot, a hundred-watt grin making his handsome face more boyish. "Then I'll be able to write her!"

"And when you get discharged you can go back to ORB." Natarle added with another small smile, seeing his grin only increase in brightness and delight. "Start your life over again with her."

Mu was nodding madly now, still wearing that huge grin. The idea excited him, made his heart pump hard and sent thrills down his body and back up to his brain again. He could barely contain himself. A thought crossed his excited mind and he froze, a frown growing now. "Wait a sec... Where are you going to go?"

"I'm not sure yet, I still have some thinking to do." Natarle answered quickly though somewhat sheepishly. "There's still a lot of options I have to pick from."

"True... But will you visit?" Mu questioned, tilting his head to the side and looking for all the world like a lost puppy. He was being honest, he would like to see more of her once he got settled back home with Murrue.

"Maybe. Depends on what happens." Natarle answered vaguely, getting to her feet. She could see the clock out of the corner of her eye, she still had an hour or so of visiting time at the hospital. But she couldn't make herself stay. The nausea she felt whenever she was reminded of how alone she was had returned, and she didn't want him to see that. "I have to go, there's some forms I have to fill out still... I'll drop by again tomorrow."

"Oh, okay." He didn't argue or press her to stay, he could see the sudden change in her posture and the new look in her eyes. "See you then."

Natarle nodded hastily and hurried out before the pressure in her throat could give way. She made it out into the hall before her weak legs urged her to stop, and she leaned against the wall breathing heavily. She stayed there, forcing herself to control her ragged breathing, to stop the pain that was ringing through her entire chest. 'Dammit...'

It took her a few long moments, but finally she was able to stand straight again. 'It's one thing to actually know that once he's gone I'm alone again, but it's a whole different thing to face the reality...' She smiled bitterly at herself, beginning to walk slowly down the halls as she lost herself in thought.

'I'm not even sure if I want to see the captain again...' She flinched when the memory came back involuntarily, and she was back on the Dominion, feeling the bullets and the blood soaking her clothes, watching helplessly as the Strike was destroyed. 'It was me, as far as she knows. I don't think I can face her... I don't know if I even could.'

AN

I spent a little while trying to find a song to close the chapter with, but I couldn't get very much out of my head. It ended kinda weird (tilts head to the side), I really didn't like the last bit at all. But I rewrote it twice, and I figured the third time's the charm so I'll stick with it regardless... Anyway, the block hasn't passed but I figured I owed an update anyway. Nothing's concrete yet, but this might be the last update for the week. We'll see how things progress.

Sky