Where Mr. Bennet meets Lady Catherine...
Fifth day.
Chapter 22: Hunsford Parrish
Kent, Hunsford Sunday
The little Parrish church was full as never before. The Bennets would have been forced to stand if Lady Catherine, seeing Mr. Bennet standing in front of what he called his womenfolk, had not insisted to invite them into the family boxes at the right and the left of the altar.
Finally, in a rare gesture of sensitive behavior she had opened her "largess" to a few other prominent inhabitants of the Parrish permitting more people to sit in the little church.
Even Charlotte was invited and so was, for the first time since her arrival at Rosings, sitting at the side of the renowned Patroness of her husband.
The approving rumor was like sunshine for the old Lady who visibly basked in her throne like armchair.
Mr. Bennet, sitting at her right, facing a Mrs. Jenkinson, her daughter's lady maid, could not help but smile.
What a preposterous old fart! And if half what Lizzie said about her was true, which it probably was, she was also a mean, ugly and spiteful piece of work.
Reverend Collins' sermon was short, precise and up to the point of the situation of military occupied Kent.
He had based it on Christ's more tolerant speeches and spoke of tolerance, patience and love for its fellow man. It was quite interesting and if the reverend would have had even the least talent for rhetorics, it would have been a perfect illustration of the situation.
The most appreciated part was probably its shortness and less than an hour after the beginning of the service, every one was on the outside of the church discussing the content of the sermon or, more probably, the new situation in a French occupied Kent.
His younger daughters being occupied elsewhere, Lydia with a bunch a young lads and Mary with the vicar of the Parrish, he was alone with Jane when Lady Catherine came floating towards him.
He made his most impeccable bow and forced his face to show his most believable mask of pure pleasure.
"Lady Catherine, I find no words to express my gratitude for your kind behavior. In the name of the Bennet family, let me express my heartfelt thanks for such a noble gesture. It shows that one must travel in the Country to still find real expressions of aristocratic Hauteur..."
Lady Catherine graced him with a smile and a wink of her fan.
"We old families have duties more than privileges" said she with a satisfied voice. "It is sometimes difficult to bear but that's why we are at the top of the society, we know how to endure."
She glanced at the crowd filling the yard, the road and part of the graveyard.
"And to see all those forlorn people flocking around Us, is a clear sign that they know how important it is to have a Lord --in this case a Lady-- who still understands the real difference between being at the top and laboring at the bottom..."
"And seeing you, my dear Lady, nobody can have the least doubt of who is at top and who is at the bottom of our society! Nothing like clear messages to get rid of those awful little germs of dissent."
The smile on Lady Catherine's face took huge proportions.
"Indeed? You do feel so?"
"Of course," said he while looking at his eldest who shot him a reproachful glance. "I have hammered this rule in every one of my daughters. There's nothing in the face of the world of greater importance than to have a respectful attitude towards those who rule us. Being part of the ruling class is one of the most momentous fate a human being can have to endure..."
Jane eyes shot him a whole broadside of dirty looks.
"Ohhh..." said lady Catherine. "That explains a lot! I fear your daughters have misinterpreted the gist of the message you tried to convey."
Mr. Bennet looked at Lady Catherine with what he hoped was a subtle mix of curiosity and worry.
"How so, my Lady?"
She looked at him and Jane and made a swift gesture with her hand.
"Do not worry, dear Mr. Bennet. We, thank God, avoided that catastrophe. Now, it seems that it could even happen that the misunderstanding of said teachings could have a propitious outcome."
She bent toward Mr. Bennet and put her fan between them and Jane.
"Some people say," whispered she, "that your eldest daughter had quite bewitched this great nephew of mine who found himself at the head of the French troops. It could be that having a well born and good bred English Lady at his side could be quite an interesting situation..."
Mr. Bennet looked at her with a perfectly shocked face. Open mouth and agape eyes and all...
"A great nephew of yours is a traitor? How..."
"No, no, no..." cut she in his remark. "Not in the common sense. He is French, no doubt about that part. So he can not qualify as a traitor. Perhaps to his Class --he is the son of a Comte, real millennium old French Aristocracy-- since he serves the Corsican Monster, but not to England which failed to hold him twenty five years ago when he fled his father."
She let a heavy breath out and raised herself at her ramrod normal heights.
Mr. Bennet saw the overture and could not help but storm it.
"As I said, real Aristocracy never dies. He survived the storm of French Revolution and now, here he is, mighty, powerful and --God helps us-- victorious! Good blood never lies!"
Of course Lady Catherine included herself in what she thought was a compliment.
"You're a true, if low-born, gentleman, Sir!" said she accompanying what she thought a compliment with a hint of a smile and a slight movement of her head. "Meeting your daughters without knowing you, gave me, I must confess, a false opinion of you and your wife. The teachings were sound but the meaning was lost. It is probably the absence of a governess which brought your daughters to fail to grasp their subtleties."
She made a movement with her head, another smile which marked in how high an esteem she hold him.
"It was a pleasure, Mr. Bennet. I hope you will allow me to invite you at Rosings?"
"Nothing could bring me greater pleasure than to visit such an enlightened Aristocrat in her famed abode!"
Another smile and she floated away on the same cloud of arrogant superiority she always used.
The moment she was out of hearing range, Jane was upon her father.
"Papa, that was not very gentleman like! You mocked her!"
He looked at his daughter;
"Indeed I did! And, I must confess, I did it with great pleasure. I even had results, dear! She no longer sees my daughters as twisted creatures and heir huntresses but as misguided daughters who failed to understand the sage teachings of their poor father... Quite a victory, don't you think?"
She shot him a dark glance.
"Nothing twisted can be called a victory, papa. You mocked her and you played a role. One could even recognized cousin Collins' mannerisms from time to time..."
"She didn't, dear, and that's the most important thing of all. She believes herself so intelligent! It will be my pleasure to mock her as often as possible! My, I'm even going to enjoin this stay for other reasons than having you at my side!"
"It is never acceptable to mock poor people, papa. You do not know her enough to decide out of nothing that she has no qualities. Under her outer disapproval of everything and every body, she is perhaps a very kind and agreeable person..."
"No, she is not, dear. I know that kind of Aristocrats. Not worth the bullet to shot them..."
"Papa!"
"No papa-ing, dear! In these matters I have the experience and I know perfectly well what I'm saying. And it being so, I would like you to show more discernment in the causes you choose to battle for. And Lady Catherine de Bourgh is not worth even your contempt. Just ignore her and let those around you who have been gifted to deal with them in a proper manner, do their job..."
A new smile came on his face.
"Here comes another one" said he as Mr. Collins made his way towards them.
"Papa," whispered Jane, "please do not mock Mr. Collins. He is family..."
"The more the reason, dear! With family everything is allowed. You know it, nothing never stopped me from teasing your mother..."
Jane shot him a disapproving look.
"You shouldn't even be doing it to mama, father! It is not right! Teasing her in such a manner is not a very kind way to deal with a wife, papa! You don't do it with us..."
Mr. Bennet looked at his daughter and was rather surprised. Never had his Jane spoken so harshly before. Especially not with him.
"Dear, it's the way I am... You've never complained before..."
"Because you're my father, it would have been unseemly to criticize you..."
"And it is no more?" asked he, hiding a smile which was crawling on his lips. "What has changed?"
His question took her by surprise.
Indeed what has changed? Why was his teasing of William Collins so more unbearable than all his years of teasing her mother?
She soon knew that it was not!
It was his teasing she had difficulties to accept now.
Was it not a lack of respect for people she loved or respected?
"I'm troubled, papa. That your teasing could be misinterpreted with contempt... I know it is not, but some people could think that you mean disrespect to those you tease. I wouldn't like it. I wouldn't like it at all..."
Mr Bennet took her hand into his own and squeezed it lightly.
"Do not trouble you, dear! As I said, it is the way I like to deal with fools and people toward which I have forgotten how to show that I love them... Your mother and I..." He hesitated. "We glided apart. We lost contact and we were never able to find back to each other. With my teasing, I just show that she's still somebody I care for..."
Jane looked at her father and her eyes were half reproaching, half understanding.
"We've guessed, papa. But wouldn't it be better to try and reach for her? I know mama does not seem the most clever of women, but she's in no way a fool. I do believe she's very unhappy about what was lost between you. And her theatrics with her nerves are in great part an attempt to keep your attention..."
She looked at him and there was sorrow in her eyes.
"Soon, my sisters and I we will leave Longbourn, papa. Lizzie is probably already under the roof of another man and I doubt very much that Lydia and Kittie will stay unmarried for many years to come. For Mary, I don't know. She seems not to look in that particular direction. But with Mr. Darcy as a member of our extended family, I doubt she will be without suitor for long..."
Mr. Bennet could only wonder what he had done to merit such children. God knew that he had done more to insure His wraith than his Blessing.
"I'll do what I can, dear. I promise. As soon as we are reunited, I'll see that your mother and I..." He had to search his words. "We speak... Like in old days. Not as we were doing it these last years."
He patted her hand.
"I promise..."
Jane could only nod since her cousin, reverend Collins was finally approaching.
"It's when the House of God is full of worshipers that the man of the cloth is reminded of the reason he has chosen his trade!" said he with a genuine smile of happiness. "To see all these sinners flocking toward my little church is, in truth, a gift of our Divine Father..."
Mr. Bennet opened his mouth to give the awaited answer when his daughter fingers squeezed his hands.
He took the hint.
"Indeed, cousin, indeed. A full House of God is a preacher's blessing. You can be proud of what you achieved..."
William Collins' smile broadened even more.
"It is only God's will, cousin. Believing that I had a role to play in this gathering's success would be a sin. It's only God's will. Only God's will..."
With a last smile, he bowed and went toward some parishioners who were, visibly, waiting in the hope he would pass nearby.
As soon as he had turned away, Mr. Bennet took his hurting fingers into his other hand and tried to massage the hurt away.
"I would have been polite, dear. I swear it..."
"You would have teased him," scolded Jane. "I could feel that you were on the brink of hinting that the only reason for today's audience was that he is the last priest at hundred miles around!"
"Never would I..."
She shot him a doubtful look.
"At least not in so much words," whispered Mr. Bennet.
He put his arm around his daughter hips and pulled her along with him.
"Since you seem to have acquired the gift to read thoughts, dear, I do believe that it will soon be essential, for my own survival, that we find you somebody else to pester with this new gift of yours."
He winked at her.
"How about this Frenchman of yours? If I remember well, being able to divine one's lover's thoughts is a very satisfying way to ascertain one's feelings..."
He was very content to see her blush crimson.
"Papa! Please do not..."
"Yes, yes, I do," said he, insisting. "And do not forget that that skill of yours would allow you to spy on him! Which would change your not existing relationship in an act of patriotism, don't you agree?"
She shook her head.
"Can you never be serious, papa?"
"But I'm serious, dear! Dead serious! This whole invasion stuff could radically change if you..."
Next chapter: Pemberley gets Post