A/N: I've been wanted to write this one for a while, and haven't got around to it until now. Officially my new favorite of all these. My face hurts from grinning while I was writing this. Enjoy!

Slowly, delicately, Rose lifted the edge of the thin outer covering and peeled it back with her nails. She closed her eyes and smiled in anticipation as her fingers brushed against the cool, smooth skin.

The Doctor glared at the monitor. What was wrong with her? Just don't think about it, he told himself. Don't look at her, ignore her, pay her no attention.

"Ooh," she sighed. "That's amazing..."

Don't look don't look don't look she's not there I can't hear her LALALALALA no no no no she doesn't exist she doesn't exist she's not there no no don't look don't look just ignore her fly the TARIDS fly fly fly I'm too busy piloting to pay attention to Rose I can't hear her I can't see her she's not there don't look don't look don't look!

He looked up at her. "That's very distracting."

"Mmm," she said, as distracted as he was. She still had half of a chocolate in her hand. "These are, I swear, the most delicious chocolates in the universe."

"Ooh, just wait until I take you to Farinista, now those are delicious chocolates." He beamed, then frowned. "But since we're not going to Farinista, could I have one of yours?"

She looked at the box of chocolates lying on the console. "Well...they were a Christmas present," she said hesitantly.

"Oh, alright," he said in a falsely cheerful voice. "I understand completely."

"Sorry," she said, and gave him that puppy-dog look with her big hazel eyes. He forgave her at once. Damn. She knew perfectly well he couldn't stand up to that face.

"Fine," he said, and turned his attention back to piloting.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her lift the chocolate truffle. Every movement she made was exaggerated. Her lips parted with inhuman slowness and closed delicately around the sweet. Even from across the room, he could see every movement of her mouth, every time she put her tongue in her cheek to get the chocolate from behind her teeth.

His hand clenched into tight fists. Did she know was she was doing?

Yes, he answered himself, annoyed. She knew exactly what she was doing. The way she was eating those truffles was calculated to be distracting. But the distraction was only part of it. Was she trying to...?

No. She couldn't be. She had no idea....

What was he thinking? Rose wasn't blind. She would have to be an idiot if she hadn't realized, and while Rose was many things, an idiot was not among them.

But that made it more confusing. He glared at Rose as she ate another chocolate. He had to clench his teeth as she grinned at him, stuck out her tongue, and caught the truffle. This was the most ridiculous game ever. He was going to run the TARDIS into something. "Please?" he begged? Maybe a truffle would help. "Just one?"

"I never see Mum," she said. "I know you can't stand her, so I understand, but please, just—just this one thing? In return for my never complaining?"

He couldn't argue with that, but if she ate one more chocolate like that, he was going to go mad. "Alright," he sighed.

She picked up her truffles and came to stand next to him. He could smell the chocolate. It took all his self control not to steal one of the chocolates. Maybe if she looked away...really, though, that was just another distraction. If he didn't distract himself somehow...

He closed his eyes tightly as she picked up another chocolate and opened her mouth. This time, she took it between her teeth. Her moan of pleasure made him open his eyes. Honestly, was it possible to bite through a soft truffle any slow...

Before he even had a chance to finish that thought, he turned around and snogged her, full on.

After a few minutes, she pulled away, gasping for breath. "It must be nice," she said when she'd got her wind back, "to be a Time Lord, and not have to breathe."

He grinned at her, showing her the half of a chocolate truffle on his tongue. "You're right," he said. "Those are delicious."

A minute later, he was alone in the console room, still grinning and rubbing his stinging cheek. Between that kiss and the chocolate—which, in his defense, had been delicious—it was definitely worth the Tyler slap.