Copernicus

December 28th

He'd woken up long before she had, he guessed it was the schedule he'd given himself that did it. He had never really slept a full night since he'd woken up that first time... Had it only been a few weeks ago? It'd already seemed like a lifetime. He made himself wake up, so he could get more practise in.

But now, he didn't want to get up. He would've been happy staying in that bed for the rest of his life. He'd woken to the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and he suddenly felt complete for the first time in a month. She was still sleeping, curled up in his left arm, eyes closed and breathing even, her fingers curled around his shirt. But the most enchanting thing about her to him was the way her hair was a ruffled mess, the way her smile was a tiny bit lopsided as she slept, that she occasionally murmured in her sleep. More proof that she was really here.

He felt the grin beginning to spread unconsciously across his face at the thoughts dancing around his head, the giddiness was nearly suffocating. He gently smoothed out her hair, smiling when her saw her lips quirk upwards in her sleep. Unable to resist the temptation, he leaned close, gently brushing a kiss over her lips. He sighed contentedly, lying backwards, unable to tear his gaze away from her.

He forgot the pain that was normally always in his legs, the ache the deep cuts still gave him across the chest, he couldn't focus on anything but her while she was lying so close, fast asleep. 'I don't know how I got so lucky... Maybe Justin's right, I've got someone looking out for me...' He gently continued to toy with her hair, not fighting the grin that made residence on his face. 'My own personal angel...'

"Mm..." Murrue sighed, moving slightly as sleep began to release its hold on her. She blinked as her eyes opened, looking around in confusion, mind still fuzzy with her memories. It hit her in a rush, the memories flying back to her almost instantly. She bolted upright with a loud gasp, adrenalin hitting head on as her gaze finally fell on the startled man she'd been asleep with. "Mu!"

"Good morning." Mu chuckled, unable to hide his amusement to the shock and awe that crossed her face. It was like the short reunion they had yesterday had never took place. He propped himself up on his elbows, snatching a quick kiss to see her awe melt into a warm smile. She hugged him, resting her head against his chest with a happy murmur.

Contentment warmed her entire body all the way down to her toes, and she heard his low chuckle before his lips brushed gently against the crown of her hair. His arms locked her into place, moving her fluidly into his lap to get a better hold on her. She felt his fingertips brush down the length of her spine, sending a warm shiver through her skin, causing goosebumps to erupt down her arms. She whispered into his shirt, eyes still closed and grip still tight, "I thought it was a dream..."

"Must be a damn good one." Mu laughed at the notion, kissing the crown of her hair again. She giggled along with him, closing her eyes again and letting another sigh of contentment escape her. He agreed with her, it had seemed too good to be true, to wake up with her in his arms all over again... How could it be real?

But it was. And he was glad.

"Yeah..." Murrue murmured quietly, now risking a peek up at his face. He was smiling tenderly down at her and she blushed pink at the attention before returning the smile shyly. It was like they'd never been apart. He kissed her temple, stroking between her shoulder blades now, nuzzling into her neck and breathing in her scent. "I've missed you..."

"I've really missed you too. It drove me crazy being cooped up here." Mu grumbled unhappily, earning a quiet giggle from his lover. She buried her face in his chest to smother the sounds, hoping he wouldn't be insulted and start to pout to earn sympathy. He amended his annoyance with a mutter, "Natarle helped with the visits but it was damn lonely."

The giggles stopped abruptly, and he glanced down to see she'd tensed. The laughing mood had simply disappeared, and she straightened rather stiffly, a new guarded expression now claiming her face. She spoke slowly, almost casually, trying to make herself appear blase even though it really wasn't working, "Natarle visited, did she?"

"We shared the same hospital room for nearly the three months I was here." Mu answered in bewilderment, not understanding her sudden change of tone and posture. "She got discharged about two weeks ago, she'd been visiting ever since."

"I see." Murrue answered him in the same offhand tone, shrugging her shoulders and looking firmly away from him. She still was incredibly tensed and her eyes were cold, betraying no real emotion. "That's nice."

Mu shook his head, gently placing his hands on her shoulder and turning her to look at him. "Murrue." She still averted her eyes, looking at the wall instead of him, lips pursed in a tight line, shoulders squared. He sighed at her behaviour and gently placed his hand under her chin and looked into her eyes. "Murrue, Natarle was acting as my friend. She visited me because she knew I was going nuts by myself. She was being nice."

"That's a first." Murrue muttered bitterly under her breath, having a hard time biting the venom back. She wasn't really sure where the sudden iciness towards her former lieutenant was coming from, but the irrational dislike for the woman was playing with her head. She felt the sting of jealousy in her chest, and scowled.

"Murrue, c'mon, she's been through enough already. You haven't seen what Azrael did to her." Mu pressed pleadingly, feeling the need to defend the violet eyed woman who'd been, in her own way, helping him through the past month. He also felt the conflicting urge to console the obviously miffed woman he was now holding, and the two impulses weren't happily getting along. The pieces of the puzzle suddenly clicked into place, and he saw the pieces that she was missing to see the whole picture the way he saw it. "She didn't fire on you."

Murrue finally looked up at him, shock crossing her expression and lightening the anger he'd seen growing in her normally warm marigold eyes. Confusion warring with the irrational hatred and jealousy that was surging through her, she finally grit out, "What do you mean she didn't fire on us? She was captaining the Dominion, of course she fired on us."

"She was captaining, sure, but she didn't fire. She evacuated the bridge and locked herself in with Azrael. He shot her, and fired himself." Mu explained tiredly, remembering the way Natarle had explained her story to him, wincing with each word she spoke, as if the memories of the bullets biting her skin were happening as she whispered. Seeing her act that way when she spoke, the pain and regret in her voice, it was impossible to not believe her.

"Azrael stayed on the bridge? He didn't stay behind?" Murrue asked in confusion, entirely side-tracked from her struggle with her sudden flurry of irrational emotions. She had assumed, along with the rest of the small alliance, that Azrael had been too much of a coward to actually stay onboard the ship when the real battle would take place. It had fit the man's character, she had figured it really was Natarle who had been there. She winced as the logic worked its way on her, rebuffing her anger and hatred rather efficiently. "I..."

"I know that you blamed her. And it's hard to look beyond that, but you have to believe me, she didn't want to kill you." Mu whispered into her hair, feeling her slump into his chest as if her spine had simply given out in the tumult of emotions. "She admits she was blinded by her loyalty, but she's not a cold-hearted killer."

Murrue shook her head, forcing herself to breathe. She wanted to cry, the rebuff of the logic had left the place in her chest where the anger and hatred existed painfully hallow, and guilt instantly filled the hole, doubling the pain. The jealousy remained, and she was sure it'd stay there for some time, but the hatred she'd laid on the young lieutenant since she heard of Mu's survival had been bitterly erased with the sheer logic of the situation.

"No." She whispered, the words tasted like bile on her tongue but she forced them out anyway, throwing away her reserves, "She isn't a cold-blooded killer."

She stayed where she was, listening intently to Mu explain everything that had taken place since he'd woken up. She really was enthralled by his tales despite the fact that the dark corner of her mind stayed on the violet-eyed lieutenant. She kept up the conversation with her constant questions, she wanted to know every single thing she may have missed, and Mu was happy to explain.

They kept at it until Mu was exhausted, and it hadn't really taken long. The man had spent too many days working himself too hard, his body needed the rest more than he would have liked to admit it. Murrue smiled and cheerfully told him to get his rest, topping off his sulks with the gentle promise that she'd be there when he woke up. That seemed to ease his discomfort and he was sound asleep and snoring in minutes.

She sighed, slipping out of his loose hold and straightening her clothes. She made a quick change, glancing at his sleeping face for a moment and smiling as her hand lingered on his hair for a moment. "I'll be back soon..." And she walked out the door.

Oh how I wish for soothing rain.

All I wish is to dream again.

My loving heart lost in the dark,

for hope I'd give my everything.

Natarle sighed, limping wearily down the hallway. She kicked herself for each bolt of pain that raced up her leg from the gunshot wound, knowing she should have brought her crutches. But she'd stubbornly left them in her little cabin, convinced that she could make the lap without them. Now she wasn't too sure if she'd end up making it back.

She turned the corner, ready to take any shortcut she knew to get back to her cabin. One of the perks of being cooped up was that she knew the ship inside and out now, she could make her way around the ship easier than a soldier who'd been there for a year. It helped with boredom as well as the physical therapy.

Lost in her thoughts, she felt her shoulder brush against another's and hastily turned as best she could to apologize. "Oh I'm sorry–" And when her eyes met shocked marigold the words died in her throat. She hastily averted her eyes, feeling her stomach drop between her feet, and turned to walk away, silently praying. 'Please don't follow me, please don't follow me, please don't let her follow me!'

"Natarle! Wait!" Murrue gasped, having lost her feet for a few moments before running to catch up to the injured woman. She could see now what Mu had meant when he said she was in bad shape both emotionally and physically, the raven-haired woman walked with a limp that she was trying hard to hide. It didn't take much more than a few long strides to catch up to the woman, catching her by the shoulder. "Please, I just want to talk to you."

Natarle swallowed hard, fighting the instinctive urge to flee even though she knew it wouldn't do her any good. If the brunette was set on capturing her, it wouldn't take long. Once again she cursed her injuries and all the saints she knew, fighting the fear before she slowly turned around. She kept her eyes on the floor, murmuring quietly, "Okay... What is it...?"

"Maybe we should sit down, that looks like it hurts." Murrue murmured back just as awkwardly, gesturing to the way Natarle leaned ever so slightly on her good leg to keep the pressure of her injured one. Natarle nodded silently, and Murrue hastily led her down to one of the benches that sat by the observation deck, simply a long stretch of enclosed hallway with the outer wall being reinforced glass. The hallway was one of Natarle's favourite places to walk, the hall being normally empty and the view of space spectacular.

Murrue took a deep breath, watching as Natarle stared straight out into the inky blackness that was space, eyes trained on the faraway stars. She fought to find ways to break the sudden tense silence, she could see Natarle had edged a good way away from her, hands curled in her lap and lower lip bitten nervously. She finally ran a hand through brown hair and growled, "I'm an idiot."

"Eh?" Natarle turned, violet eyes wide and confused at the sudden break of silence, and the words. Her former captain looked rather ashamed, something she hadn't been expecting to see at all. The words sunk down through her shock, and the woman smiled wryly, shaking her head a little. "No captain, I'm the idiot..."

"I shouldn't have blamed you for what happened, not without knowing all the details." Murrue countered immediately, lips twisting down in a scowl. Remembering her past actions brought up a fresh round of guilt and pain, and she cringed away from herself. "I should have heard the full story before I made my judgements. I was too wrapped up in myself." She cringed again, admitting her faults seemed to take twice the amount of energy she had figured it would have, the words burned on the way out but she forced herself to say them. "I shouldn't have been mad at you."

"You had every right to be, it is my fault the commander's like this." Natarle replied without missing a beat, biting her lower lip again. She remembered it clearly even though she'd been half-conscious at the time, seen the commander's lifeless body being brought it, stripped to reveal the wounds. The guilt swam through her, fresh and strong. "I should have been a better captain, but I let Azrael control me, let myself be blinded by what the Alliance thought was right. And because of that, this happened."

"He's still alive."

"Barely." Natarle laughed bitterly, shaking her head. Her hands curled into fists in her lap, fingernails pressing angrily into the sensitive flesh. "I was foolish, headstrong. I thought I knew what I was doing, that I was going to be a better captain than you were. And I lost my own morals in the process."

"Being a captain is difficult, we all have trouble with the responsibility. It doesn't make you any less of a person. If I'd been better myself none of this would have happened!" Murrue argued fiercely, annoyed that Natarle was being maddeningly stubborn.

"If I hadn't let myself be blinded this wouldn't have happened. Nothing you did was wrong."

"We both better stop this before we go crazy." Murrue finally sighed after a long moment of tense silence, shaking her head in exasperation. "We're both idiots, I think we can live with that..." She watched Natarle smile wryly out of the corner of her eye, but the guilt still didn't leave her eyes. After taking another deep breath to ease herself down from annoyance, she murmured softly, "I don't blame you for what happened Natarle. Mu doesn't either."

Natarle bit her tongue against the thousands of excuses she wanted to say, against the hundreds of conflicting emotions that surged through her chest. She knew that Murrue was stubborn, incredibly so, and she wouldn't let it go if she argued. It was best to avoid that situation and just accept what she couldn't change. She looked down at her feet again, breathing calmly.

"I wanted... To thank you." Murrue finally whispered, finding the words incredibly hard to form but once they slid out the weight on her shoulders finally ceased to exist. Natarle turned to look at her with wide-eyed confusion, and the woman smiled weakly at her and nodded before explaining quietly, "I was... Jealous. I was really jealous when I found out it was you who spent all the time with him, the time I missed..." The frown held its place for a moment, but melted into another weak smile as she continued, "But... I was glad that someone got to watch my moron when I couldn't do it."

"It wasn't much fun." Natarle offered weakly, earning a snicker from her former captain at the thought. She must have known what a horrible patient the commander was, what a pain he could be. She smiled weakly, finally letting a small bit of good humour show through. "He's a very big pain in the ass."

"Yeah..." Murrue agreed with a growing smile, the warmth in her eyes was very difficult to miss. It was obvious how much she loved the man, the affection in her tone and expression spoke volumes. "But he's a big romantic dork. It makes up for it..." She felt hesitant when she looked at the odd expression the woman was wearing, the question she felt burning the back of her mouth was eager to make its way out. "Um... I don't want to sound prying but... H-How do you feel about him...?"

Natarle's expression immediately soured and she muttered something the brunette couldn't hear as she scowled at the floor. She finally breathed calmly and answered very politely, "Yes... At one point I did have something for him, I did like him." She could see the minute changed in her former captain's posture, the way she straightened and her expression became forced. "But it was a fleeting thing, formed by envy... It never had any merit to it, I never held onto it either. He's nothing but a comrade now."

Murrue sighed, and she wasn't too sure if it was relief or not that tossed off the rest of the weight that had taken up residence on her shoulders and chest. She hastily made sure to change the topic as quickly as possible, digging for things she still didn't know. "So... What will you do now?" Natarle seemed to shrug, not answering with words. That didn't satisfy the curious brunette, it only really sent a spark of worry down her spine. She questioned hesitantly, "Are you going to go back to the military?"

Natarle stared at her like she had grown a second head, eyes wide again, but this time with real shock. She pointed to her injuries and answered with an awed tone, "I don't want to tempt fate. I might not make it out this time. I won't ever go back."

Murrue sighed again, this time with true relief. She ran over her own plans now, knowing that Mu was eager to get the hell out of this place and go back to ORB with her. But the thought of what her former comrade would be doing now, it did sent a bit of concern through her. "I know what I'll be doing... But what about you...?"

"I don't know. I might just let the wind take me wherever it wants. I don't have family I can go back to," Her face twisted a bit, into an odd sort of hatred Murrue didn't understand, "or that I would actually want to return to anyway. I just don't know."

"Why don't you come back to ORB with us?" Murrue had no idea where the words had come from, but they slid out regardless, shocking them both. Natarle turned to stare at her for the third time that day, now it looked like she was on the verge of falling off the bench and asking her what was wrong with her. Murrue flushed in embarrassment, but at the same time was grinning from ear to ear. "You need somewhere familiar to return to, and I'm sure Erica could get you a job and settle you in."

Natarle swallowed nervously, wondering why two completely polar opposite emotions were suddenly waging a second war in her stomach. One was delight, albeit a hidden one, to finally go back and feel like there was somewhere she could finally call home and be settled. The other one was the confusing thing, it was a horrible aching that rung hard in her chest, fighting to cling to the metal walls that had somehow become her home too. "I..." She coughed, clearing her closed throat and fighting the weird pain, "I think I need a few nights to sleep on that Captain, if you don't mind."

"Please, call me Murrue. We're past the formalities now." Murrue laughed warmly, grinning when Natarle blinked and looked honestly taken aback by the sudden overture. "Besides, neither of us are soldiers." She extended her hand politely, smiling, "I'd say we're more along the friends line now."

"Friends?" Natarle felt the word slip through her lips in confusion, and she stared at the woman's hand in surprise. A rush of warmth flooded her though and she slowly took the woman's hand and shook it. She smiled weakly and nodded. "I guess that would work... Murrue."

AN

Heehee. XD Sorry, shutting up now. Anywho. Murrue, I think, is a naturally warm person, but everybody has troubles with emotions. I think Murrue would end up giving in to her 'irrational' emotions at first, but she'd feel horrible for the bad thoughts she had at first. And so, the first bridge has been crossed, lol. I also believe that after she's out of the military (Murrue) wouldn't want to keep the formality going, she'd convince Natarle to drop the 'captain' thing. Oh, the song was "Nemo" by Nightwish, I kind of thought it fit Natarle again... Meh, lol.

Sky