Disclaimer: do I really need to write one for every single chapter? Rowlings! Not mine, except story, and Miss. Kessler, who are the products of my underdeveloped brain.
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Chapter two: Unbinding
Sarah woke slowly, shivering from a gust of cold wind through the open window.
« Oh, that was the best dream...». Sarah poked her head out from under the covers and opened her eyes with a wide smile. To her shock, she was not looking up at her apartments white concrete ceiling, but a lavender and cream colored canopy.
She sat up with a jolt. « That was no dream!». She got out of bed and walked up to the window.
It was all still there. The great lake, Hagrids hut, the Forbidden Forest, everything. Finally it dawned on her for real. It was real. She was really here. « I am at Hogwarts!», she nearly screamed.
She jumped around and did some weird little dance of joy, before she noticed a dinner tray on a small table in front of the fire. She could have sworn that the table and two comfortable chairs had not been there earlier when she went to bed.
Not bothering to get dressed, she sat down and filled up on roast beef, pudding, fresh fruits and something delicious that she figured had to be butterbeer.
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Finally full, she closed the window and headed for the shower. The warm water felt like a warm, comforting blanket. She thought of the previous night, and Snape. It was just so obvious to her that he had flown like that just to show off. Just to scare her. « Git!», she muttered to herself as she turned the shower off and wrapped herself in a gigantic, thick, fluffy bath towel.
When she came back out into the room, the tray of food was gone and replaced with tea and biscuits. « house elves», she thought with a little smile, drank two cups in record time and completely ignored the biscuits. Then she went to her bag and started unpacking face cream, body lotion, perfume and an array of beauty products essential to all women.
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With a timing to perfect to be accidental, there was a knock on her door just as she was pulling a jumper over her head. She opened the door to find Dumbledore beaming at her outside.
« Are you ready?», he asked. Sarah nodded and closed the door behind her. She followed him down corridors and shortcuts through tapestries, and down secret spiraling staircases, until she found herself deep in the heart of the school dungeons, standing outside a thousand year old oak door with a plaque that simply said: 'Potions'.
Dumbledore knocked and the door opened with a slight creak
« Severus, is everything ready?»
« Everything is as to your instructions, Headmaster» Snape replied, not even looking at Sarah.
«Hello, Professor» Sarah said, almost to make a point. Snape glanced at her, « hello » he said quickly and indifferently before heading back into the classroom.
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Snape retreated back into the classroom, and checked on the potion steaming away in the small cauldron on his desk. Sarah and Dumbledore followed. Dumbledore went up to Snapes desk and Sarah remained standing in the middle of the room, turning around and taking in every inch of the room. There were no windows, but three doors in the room. One was the door they came in through, and she couldn't even imagine what lay hidden behind the other two. All four walls were covered in shelves, cabinets and cases. All of them mismatched and different, as if throughout the years each potions master had added one. All of them were overloaded with jars, bottles and other containers in practically every size, shape and color imaginable. Sarah walked down a row and read the names on the jars that were labeled. 'lizard lungs', crocodile hearts', 'harpy feathers', 'toenails', and 'vanilla', were only a few of the countless ingredients.
« Wow...», she muttered, unaware that the two wizards both lifted their heads and watched her.
« Wow», she said again, a little louder, and turned to look at Dumbledore. The second she turned to them, Snape turned his back and pretended to focus back on the potion. « This is by far the most interesting room I've ever been in...!», she said to Dumbledore. As his back was turned to them, neither of them noticed the slight smile that Snape was trying to suppress.
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She continued to examine the room, the students desks had been removed, instead there was a single long table, long enough that she could lie on it. It made her think of a surgery bed. And for the first time she felt nervous. « So... what exactly does unbinding involve?», she asked the two wizards, and failed to keep the nervous tone out of her voice.
« In ways, it is quite a simple ritual. You drink the potion, then there are certain spells and incantations, then we wait for your powers and your body to once again merge as one. Sarah, I feel I need to warn you. It might be painful», Dumbledore said. Sarah didn't believe his last statement for a second. That voice inside of her was saying that it would be the single, most painful experience ever.
Dumbledore was still talking to her, « Of course, I am sure Professor Snape has all he needs to make this as... comfortable as possible for you».
When Sarah looked to Snape, she was hoping for some sign, some sort of reassurance that he would indeed look after her. Instead she got to see Snape take out a silk cloth and roll it out to reveal several different knives and daggers. He took out one, examined it's sharpness, and reached for another one.
He glanced up and when he noticed she was looking at him, he quickly looked down again, with a frown. Sarah didn't like the idea of being at his mercy, and wondered why Dumbledore even had him involved in all of this. It was obvious that he had nothing to do with any of this, and there was no doubt that the headmaster was himself more than capable of doing this.
« Are you sure you want to do this, Sarah?», Dumbledore asked her. « Once you do this, there is no going back to the life you used to live. If you need time, to think about this... remember what I told you about our world today. If you want to wait..».
Sarah shook her head. Even dying would be better than going back to where she used to be.
« No, no waiting. I am ready now», she said. « Alright, in that case, she's all yours, Severus», Dumbledore said with a certain smile and left the room.
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Snape looked at the woman standing in front of him. Again she was clearly frightened, he could see that, yet she seemed determined not to show it. She was strong, stronger than he had imagined.
She was looking straight at him, with the same gaze she gave him back in her apartment
Fierce chocolate brown eyes. He could not look into them. «Why not? She is just a girl», and then he caught the scent of jasmine in the air. He looked away, he could not look her in the eyes.
«lie down on the table, and drink this». He almost shoved a glass goblet into her hands, it was small, and contained a dark green potion. She wondered what was in it, how it was made. Maybe one day she would get to ask him. She got up onto the table, with ease, then lifted the goblet, but thought of something and lowered it again. « Do I drink it all?» she asked, again trying to sound unafraid, but her voice was unsteady, and her hand was shaking ever so slightly.
«Yes!» Snape snapped. She glanced at him and thought «dumbass!» then emptied the goblet all at once. It tasted like grass.
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Her head felt heavy at once, she had meant to give the empty goblet to Snape, who was now standing beside her, but it slipped out of her hand and shattered on the stone floor. She lay back and everything faded into a blur. She had no sense of time or place, she could hear murmurs, the occasional light flash before her eyes, and incoherent images. They could be memories, maybe dreams. She couldn't think, and she felt herself fall into darkness.
And then, light! Beams of light were shooting out of her fingertips, ripping her skin apart until she was engulfed in light. So bright she could not see, all was white, she had melted into the light, her body was on fire. She screamed but could not hear herself. She screamed louder. What was this pain? Her cells were being ripped apart, every cell on fire, she was on fire! she screamed once again, agony! she could almost make out a shadow above her, but the light was scorching her eyes she had to close them, and her screams drowned out the worried murmurs for the dark shadow standing over her.
She screamed til she had no voice. She had no thoughts, she had no feeling left, and perfectly numb, she once again fell into utter darkness.
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Snape was pacing her room, for three days he had stood over her.
For three days she had screamed endlessly, her body twisting in agony. He had tried to calm her.
Tried every spell, every incantation he could possibly think of but it had not helped. Nothing had helped. She was calm now, sleeping, but he could still hear her cries of pain. It made him sick to think about it. He was angry with Dumbledore, « Why had he not warned her properly? Why did he not warn me? Might be painful he had said, and assured her that everything would be alright. Well, everything was most certainly not alright!» He started pacing more angrily than ever. He was surprised she had even survived the first night. Her body had been so hot, he could not touch her. At one point he had actually been expecting her to catch fire.
He could still hear her pain, he could almost feel it, his stomach churned.
She gave a slight whimper, and he stopped pacing. She looked peaceful now, she had calmed sometime in during the night, and it was now almost noon, yet he could not bring himself to leave her side. He thought about her, down in the dungeons. So eager at first, exploring the classroom, his classroom. He was so curious about her. He wondered who she was. He knew about her background. Dumbledore had told him about her grandparents, intending that he be the one to tell her about it, but he wondered about her.
Then he looked down at her again, lying there, motionless. She had been so scared, he suddenly remembered her hand shaking as she drank the potion, and how she had tried to hide it with all her might.
He carefully sat down on the bed next to her. Her hair, that had been so radiant and flowing around her, was now tangled and matte. Her cheeks were blushed, she still had a bit of a fever. To his own amazement, he found himself thinking, that even now, she was stunningly gorgeous. He fought the urge to reach out and touch her, and he lost.
He reached and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. He stroked her face with the tips of his fingers. Her skin was so soft. Again he wondered why, when Dumbledore had insisted he be the one to do this, he had not told him exactly what was involved.
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The door opened and he quickly got to his feet. « I think you should get some rest, Severus» Dumbledore said, looking at him with some amusement, « there is nothing more we can do now, but wait until she wakes up».
Snape said nothing, he looked from Dumbledore to the bed. He reached for his cloak which lay across the back of a chair, but then he withdrew his arm. « If you dont mind, headmaster, I think I will stay», he said, then cleared his throat, « it would be unwise to leave her unattended, just in case».
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and looked clearly amused now.
« Whatever you think is best, Severus. Dont worry, I'll take care of your classes, and do notify me of any change», he said and left again.
Snape sat down on the chair, and leaned his head back. Until Dumbledore had mentioned it, he had forgotten all about his classes. He closed his eyes and again he could smell jasmine. A turn of his head told him he was leaning against Sarah's coat which lay across the back of the chair he was sitting in.
As he leaned back once more, he thought of her again. She was so set on showing her self strong and unbreakable, and she was indeed, but there was still something very delicate there, under the surface.
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A stream of midday sun hit Sarah's eyes, and she woke up. Her head felt heavy and every muscle in her body was sore and aching. She blinked again and again, trying to focus her eyes. Dumbledore was sitting next to her on the bed. She tried to sit up, but her head was spinning like a tornado, and she fell back. Dumbledore helped her up so a sitting position. She looked around the room. She wasn't in the dungeons anymore, but in her own room. Someone was standing at the far end of the room. Snape. He had his arms crossed and his head was bent down just enough so that his hair hid his face.
Sarah looked at her hands. There were deep cuts on all of her fingertips. She remembered how the light had ripped her skin apart, and how much it had hurt, but the cuts were too identical and perfect. She wanted to ask Dumbledore how long she had been out, but when she opened her mouth, she had no voice. All of a sudden she remembered the screaming. She had thought that had been just a dream, but know realised that it had been her own screams.
Dumbledore gave her a bottle. A light blue potion this time. He told her to drink it, said that it would help her. She drank it without hesitation, and as soon as she swallowed, she started feeling better.
« How long have I been sleeping?», she finally managed to ask. Her voice still cracked and low.
« It's been nearly a week since the night in the dungeons», Dumbledore replied, « how are you feeling?». « Well...I guess I am fine», Sarah almost didn't catch what he had said. Her focus was on Snape. She could almost remember him sitting beside her on the bed, but was unsure if it was a dream or if that had happened as well.
« Well, did it work?», she asked in her now normal voice. With a laugh, Dumbledore said, « of course it did!». She smiled and was about to ask something, but caught sight of Snape glaring at her.
As opposed to Dumbledore, who was beaming at her, he seemed downright angry about something.
« I take it you would like to freshen up, and perhaps eat something first, and then, if you feel up to it, we can talk about your future». Sarah asked what Dumbledore meant.
« Now that your powers are back, you need to learn how to yield the magic», he said.
Sarah glanced over at Snape, who was now glaring at something in the ceiling. She bent close to Dumbledore and whispered as low as she could, « I dont have to go to school with the eleven yearolds, do I?». Again Dumbledore laughed, « your father asked me the exact same question!»
Sarah wondered when he had talked to her father.
« I talked to him yesterday, and assured him that you have been in the best of care. Why, Professor Snape didn't leave your side for a second. Not even after I ordered him to get some rest. Isn't that right, Severus?», Dumbledore turned and grinned at Snape, who looked as though any minute, steam would come out his ears.
Sarah looked at Snape. « Thank you», she said quietly and meant it, but he didn't answer. He didn't even look at her.
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« well, I should think that you would like some time to yourself now, yes?» Dumbledore stood up. She nodded, realising that she hadn't had any food in a week, nor had she showered. « Oh god, I must look a right mess» she thought. Dumbledore was at the door now, and Snape had gone.
«when you are ready, come to my office and we shall continue our talk there. Do you remember the password?»
«Yes, banana pancakes» she said with a smile. « Thats right» Dumbledore gave her a wink and left the room. She waited a few minutes, afraid to move her body, before the urge to wash became too strong. When she got out of bed, she found she moved with amazing ease, her aches and pain were all gone. Even the wounds on her fingertips had healed without a trace.
«What had been in that potion? It was almost like magic», She laughed, «it WAS magic!»
She took of her clothes and went into the bathroom.
As she showered she wondered about Snape. She had a hard time believing that he had watched over her like that. It sort of went against anything she had ever imagined him to be like. She thought about the pain, and wondered if he had heard her scream. She was sure the screams had only been in her head, as she could hardly hear them herself. Then she wondered if he had helped ease her pain, and what it would have been like if he hadn't been there.
She could not imagine, she dared not.
She dried herself off, wrapped a towel around her hair and got dressed. She looked over at the table, once again a tray of food had been left there, without her notice. Then she saw the black cloak, hanging over the chair. In his hurry to leave the room, Snape had forgotten it. Curious, she put it on.
It was huge, and when she put the hood up, she disappeared completely in a cloud of black wool. Suddenly she feared that he would return to fetch his cloak, and something told her that he wouldn't be pleased if he found her prancing around in it. She took it off and folded it back over the chair.
She ate fast, not because she was starving, even though she was, but because she was so eager to get out of the room, and explore the castle on her way to Dumbledore's office. She went back into the bathroom and took off the towel around her hair. She glanced in the mirror and was shocked.
It was blonde! She stood there, gaping at her own reflection for a moment then remembered something she had read in the books.
« I'm a metamorphmagus?!», she exclaimed. She had not seen that one coming. Yet another surprise, added to the lifetimes worth she had received the past week.
She closed her eyed and concentrated so hard that she was trembling, and as suspected, when she opened her eyes, her hair was a vivid shade of green. She was delighted, and closed her eyes again, thinking of a different color. Again it changed. She laughed out loud! After a variety of colors and lengths, she settled on her own color and curls, but longer than it had ever been, down to her waist. She had always dreamed of waistlenght hair.
Finally she left the room and went to see Dumbledore again.
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«Come in» he said and she opened the door carefully. He was sitting behind his desk, and Snape was sitting in one of the two chairs in front of it. He did not turn around, and said nothing as she came in and at Dumbledore beckon sat down in the chair next to him.
« I see you have already discovered some of your abilities» he smiled at her, looking at her hair, which was now almost twice the length it had been earlier the same day.
She beamed « Yes, after I showered, I suddenly discovered that it had turned blond. Thats why I'm perhaps a bit late, it's quite fun, being able to change my appearance at will. But I guess I need to learn a drying spell, as there are no electric hairdryers here.»
«Oh, not to worry, I can help you today» Dumbledore said, and with a wave of his wand, she felt her hair dry, and form perfect curls, « your grandfather was one as well, you know, inherited it from his mother I believe».
Snape, who to this point had been determined not to look at her, still embarrassed about Dumbledore's comment about how he had not left her side, glanced at her.
His insides fell at ease when he saw that she did not look frail and sickly anymore, in fact, he could almost swear that she was glowing. He glanced over at her a few more times, until he noticed Dumbledore looking at him, he had seen him look at her. He quickly looked away, fixing his eyes on a cloud outside in the sky.
Dumbledore had indeed noticed Snapes stolen glances, but said nothing, just smiled to himself, then looked back at Sarah.
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« Sarah, I am going to offer you an assisting position to the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Burnett. She is not as young as she used to be, and has asked for someone to help share the load, and who would know more about muggle life than you? It will come with a small salary of course. Also the Professors have generously agreed to give up an evening each, in order to give the lessons you need, we will start with the very basics first; Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, Defence against the Dark Arts and of course Potions» Dumbledore gestured toward Snape.
« Now am I correct in assuming that you will accept my offer?»
She smiled and gave a nod. «Well then there are a few things we need to do. First I must tell you that your grandfathers family have a vault at Gringotts. The key to it has been in your fathers care, and he will give this to you when you go back home. You will of course be needing a wand, books and supplies for your courses. I have a complete list for you here.» Dumbledore handed her a rather long piece of parchment. « You will find that I have enclosed some books that are from other subjects, than the ones you will be taking initially These are subjects which are based more on theory than practice, and I am quite sure you will have no problem studying them at your own leisure».
Dumbledore paused, ruffled through some papers and made some notes on a roll of parchment, before moving on.
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« Professor Snape, has graciously agreed to take you back home. You will have some time to settle your affairs, I believe you have a job back home? Yes and school. Well then lets say a month to make the necessary arrangements, and I take it you will want to spend Christmas with you family»,
he waited for her reply, she nodded, and he went on « well then, someone will be back to fetch on boxing day, after which you will proceed to Diagon Alley to purchase the things you need, and you will be back here, I think it is best for you to have time to get to know the school and the teachers before the new term starts. How does that sound to you dear?».
« That sounds great, but I am sure I can get to London on my own, and back up here. I wouldn't want to trouble anyone», Sarah replied.
« That's true, and kind of you, Sarah. However, it would be a lot faster and easier, if you had someone with you to show you around, not mention travel with. Muggle transport is rather slow in comparison. Besides I have already talked to Professor Snape about this, and he would be more than happy to accompany you. It would be no trouble for him at all», said Dumbledore.
Snape, who was still seemingly enthralled by the clouds outside, turned to look at Dumbledore.
This was the first he had heard about him being the one to take her to get her things, and he was certainly not 'more than happy to do it'. In fact it would be a lot of trouble for him to spend his days off, flying around with her. His eyes met Dumbledore's. The old wizard was smiling at him, and Snape knew that there would be no point in objecting to this, so he turned his attention back to the skies outside.
« Alright then...», Sarah said hesitantly, « I'll be waiting for you on boxing day, Professor».
« Excellent!», Dumbledore said happily. Snape, however, ignored her.
« Well, then I think that's it. Severus, as Sarah has her magic now, you can apparate back with her. There will be no need to take her on a broom». Dumbledore winked discreetly at Sarah, who appeared not react in anyway. Hadn't Snape been there, she would have probably kissed Dumbledore out of gratitude. There was no way she ever wanted to get back on a broom again.
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Dumbledore wrapped things up, and followed them to his door. After a quick goodbye, Sarah was again standing outside the stone gargoyle, facing Snape.
« Do you have everything you need?», he asked. It was first thing he had said to her all day.
« My bag is still in my room», she replied. « fine, if you can manage the simple task of finding your way on your own, I will go to my own quarters to fetch a cloak. Get your bag, and meet me outside the gates in five minutes», he ordered.
Sarah ignored his little insult and headed for her room without a word.
« That's five minutes! I do not have all day!», Snape called after her. « Yes, sir!», she called back without bothering to turn.
The second she turned a corner, and was sure he couldn't see her, she started sprinting. She had her mind set on being the first at the gates, and she still had to pack her things.
Back in her room she found her bag packed and waiting for her, along with a note from Dumbledore.
He had instructed a house elf to pack her things, and cast an undetectable extension charm on it.
To make packing her things for boxing day a little easier. She threw on her coat, took her bag, and ran for it. On her way she wondered why the halls were deserted, then it came to her that the whole school was busy in class. She reached the entrance hall quickly, but just as she came out, she spotted a black silhouette waiting for her by the gate. « Dammit!», she growled and sped up.
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When she reached Snape, he had his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. He smirked at her, almost as if to say: 'I win'. She smiled back, and asked how they would apparate.
« All you need to do is hold on, and leave the rest to me», he said rather impatiently.
She snorted and rolled her eyes. « It was just a question...git».
He might have noticed, because when he spoke again, his tone was almost polite.
« Miss. Kessler, as you have no wand, it is vital that you hold on and under no circumstances let go».
Sarah responded with a single nod. « Hold on, dont let go. I can do that»
Then Snape stepped right up to her, and put his arms around her waist. « Ready?».
Sarah nodded again. She seemed to have lost her ability to speak.
He was just a little too close to her, holding her just a little too hard. Suddenly she wished they had flown instead. At least then she wouldn't have to stand in his arms like this, face to face.
Unknown to Sarah, Snape was thinking almost the exact same thing. He too would much rather have flown, than have to hold her like this. She took hold of his arms. The incredible awkwardness of the position they were in, would have to be ignored. She wondered what would happen if they let go. If it was possible that he might loose her along the way.
She didn't have time to finish her thought before Snape turned on the spot, still holding her.
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Sarah felt as if she had just been caught under an avalanche. In an instant they were surrounded by darkness, and there was a crushing pressure from every direction. She couldn't breathe, and Snape tightening his hold on her, did nothing to help. She responded by driving her fingers into his biceps.
She was choking. Her body was desperate to draw breath, but the pressure refused to let her chest expand to take in air. If there even was air. Then, just as she was sure she would choke to death, the pressure eased and they were standing in the small woods behind her apartment building.
Remembering last time, she let go of him as soon as they arrived, but the ground was covered in wet slippery leaves, and she slipped. He grabbed her, to prevent her from falling, and for a second she was in his arms again. Snape could smell the sweet smell of jasmine.
Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, before both looked away and broke apart. «I take you can find your way from here?» he said, impatiently. No sooner had she said yes, than he murmured a quick «Goodbye», turned and was gone.