The rest of the night was a mess of blurry confusion, a collection of deep silences and awkward glances. The dawn banished it all in its bright amber light and found us sitting in much the same position as we were a few hours ago. We were in the middle of one of our silences, which was neither cold nor angry. Just stunned. Edward said little throughout the night, muttering my name from time to time and shaking his head in disbelief.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to feel. For so long, we had been planning to change me. But now, he had been brought down to the mortal coil, a feat I had thought impossible. A part of me was exhilarated that we were on the same level. A part of me was afraid of how Edward was handling this. I can only imagine what it's like to fall from angelic grace to mortality in just under an hour. Another, silent, subconscious part of me was unsure what all of this meant for our future, which had a very obvious expiration date on it, now that we were both human.
These thoughts swirled around in my head again and again, not stopping long enough for me to consider the full weight of them or to reach some sort of conclusion.
Edward leapt up from the bed and took off his shirt. He pulled the curtains open, drenching him in golden light. The rays touched his skin and nothing more. He looked down at his bare chest and then at me.
"I'm human."
I couldn't help but laugh. He stared at me.
And then he gave me his crooked smile and I melted. I forgot my worries in that instant and he returned to where I was sitting at the foot of the bed and kissed me. Humanity had softened his features and, no, he no longer truly looked as I knew him, but he still dazzled me nevertheless. All of his features were there, but imperfect somehow. Less a stature and more a man. He held me closer in his now warm embrace.
"What does this mean, Bella?" What could I say?
"I don't know, Edward. I was hoping you had an answer." And the worries began to pick up momentum again. He frowned.
"I should call Carlisle."
"Do you think he's ever seen something like this?"
"I doubt it, somehow, but I can't think of anything else to do." He paused for a moment, brow creased with concern. He stood and made for the bathroom. I heard him gasp and rushed to him. He stood, appraising himself in the mirror.
"What's wrong?" With a single finger, he traced the outline of his jaw, passed over his cheek and nose.
"I haven't seen this face in one hundred years." I wrapped my arm around his waist and laid my head against his shoulder. He stood there, looking in the mirror, for a while, and I remained next to him. I said nothing. He kept looking himself over and he seemed to be a world away, remembering things from a century ago.
I was thinking about Declan.