Disclaimer: see previous disclaimers!
ooo
Chapter eight: Vesuvian Lilac Moss
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The next day, Snape woke up late. It was close to lunch.
Sarah wasn't in the bed, and he found her sitting in the windowsill, looking out into the depths of the lake. Tears were still streaming down her face. Her hair was a dirty shade of white.
« Sarah? What happened last night? What happened to you?». She didn't answer. He sat down in front of her.
« Sarah?», she didn't even seem to notice he was there. Kept staring out of the window. His heart was bleeding for her. All joy was gone from her usually radiant eyes. All color drained from her face. She looked as if a dementor had sucked out her soul. «Sarah, tell me what happend» He put his hand on her cheek, she pushed it away. Still with her eyes fixed upon something invisible out in the lake.
He was so worried about her. She looked sick. Her face and body covered with bloody marks. «Please talk to me...» He put his hand on her thigh, she pushed it away again. « Ok, just sit here, do not leave, and I will get Lupin».
He did not want to fetch Lupin, he wanted her to confide in him, but all that mattered now was helping her.
When they returned to Snape's room, she hadn't moved an inch. She was still sitting by the window, staring at the same spot, silent tears running down her face. Lupin was horrorstruck when he saw the state she was in. « What have you done to her?!» he turned and yelled at Snape.
Snape, being understanding of his concern for Sarah, explained what had happened last night. How she had been screaming, clawing herself, almost trying to rip her own skin off. Lupin fell to his knees in front of her. « Sarah? Please! I beg you! Tell us what happened...»
She did not respond to him either, nor would she let him touch her. « Sarah you have to tell us! How are we going to help you if you won't tell us what happened?». Sarah closed her eyes. « Sirius!»
ooo
There was a very gentle knock on the door, and Trelawney came in. « I'll take over from here boys». « Sybill.. how did... how did you know..?»
« Don't insult me, Remus! Am I not Sybill Trelawney?».
She gave them both a very stern look. « Now Severus, I take it you don't mind us taking over your quarters like this?». He shook his head, « You have me and my quarters at your disposal, Sybill». She smiled at him.
« I will be needing a potion to ease her pain and make her feel happier. Something that will energize her rather than calm her, but not from your stores, make it fresh, it needs to be warm. Make it sweet and make sure you put some of this in it». She handed him a small glass bottle with a golden oil in it. On the bottom there was a single white flower. Snape looked puzzeled, « essence of jasmine?».
« Yes boy, are you questioning me?»
« No ma'am, not at all, I will get started immediately.» He went out and started on the potion.
She turned to Lupin now, « Remus, send for Sirius, not by owl, floo him from the fireplace in Severus' office. Sarah and I need some privacy». Lupin nodded and left the room as well.
Trelawney sat down on the sofa. « Speak to me child!»
« I can't...» No words had been spoken between them.
« Sarah, it is not real! What you saw, what you felt. It is just an illusion. It didn't happen.»
« But you don't know what it did. I could feel it. You don't feel dreams. You don't feel illusions».
ooo
Lupin put his head in the emerald fire and told Sirius to drop whatever he was doing, apparate to Hogwarts at once and come to the dungeons. Sirius didn't even ask why. He instantly turned on the spot and was gone. Not five minutes had passed before he came in through the classroom door, panting as he had ran non stop from the gate.
«What's going on?» He looked from Lupin to Snape. Lupin explained what had happened.
« She refuses to speak to us, she just sits there, staring at nothing. I'm really scared for her. It's like... like something inside her has died ». Lupin looked terrified when he said this. « Sybill is with her now. I don't know why, but she asked me to send for you».
Sirius knocked on the bedroom door, and went in. He too was sickened by what he saw.
She barely looked human. Matted white hair, still damp from sweat. The light from the lake giving her skin a greenish glow. Marks all over her, deep shadows under her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like this.
« Let's get you out of here» he said and swooped her up into his arms. She did not resist him, or speak, or even look at him. She merely closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder. He then left the dungeons with Sarah.
Lupin and Snape made to follow, but Trelawney stopped them.
« You two stay here, and finish that potion. They will be back by the time it's done».
ooo
Sirius took Sarah outside in the sunlight, he walked and walked till he found a place out of sight, away from the school, away from everything. He sat down with her in his lap.
She still did not speak, or react in anyway, but the sunlight felt warm and comforting.
Sirius felt warm and comforting.
Slowly her mind began to clear, slowly she realised where she was. Sirius did not speak to her, merely kissed her face, her arms, her hair. He kissed the wounds on her cheek and neck. It felt soothing to her, but she was still too far gone to be able to say anything. They sat there for what felt like hours, and slowly Sarah could feel the warmth of the sun, of his body, melting the ice in her veins.
ooo
Meanwhile, Trelawney and Lupin were sitting around one of the student tables in the potions room, Snape was hovering over the cauldron on his desk.
Lupin wanted to notify Dumbledore, but Trelawney told him it was not necessary.
« This is not as serious as it may seem...», she said casually.
« Not serious? What the heck happened to her?!», Lupin demanded to know, and basically stole the question right from the tip of Snapes tounge.
« Sadly Remus, this is not an uncommon phenomenon. Dark souls sometimes invade people's mind, forcing us too relive painful memories, or creating horrible images. For a normal person, this is merely a nightmare, one wakes up and it is over. Sometimes the bad feelings may linger for a few hours, but still they vanish. For a Seer however, dark souls invade the Seers very soul, causing her more pain and suffering than you can imagine. As Seers are so receptive, the invation does not restrict itself to the unconcius mind, but to the concious mind as well. This means that even after the person wakes up, the nightmares continue. The more receptive the seer, the more real the visions. Sarah might not be the strongest of Seers, but she is rather receptive none the less, she has still not yet discoverd even half of her skills, and she is aslo unexperienced and has much to learn when it comes to controling her gift. Unfortunately this has made her experience even worse, as the visions passed through the realms of her mind and even caused her physical pain ».
Lupin had never heard of such things before « What exactly do you mean? Is it like when a dementor attacks?»
With an impatient sigh Trelawney shook her head.
« If only you boys had been wise enough to take Divination while you were in school, I wouldn't need to explain this to you. Especially you, Severus. All that time spent learning Legilimency and Occlumency, and not a second spared to understand the true forces they are drawn from ».
Trelawney gave them both a very dissapproving look.
« This is nothing like a dementor, a dementor feeds on your happiness and leave you nothing but your saddest memories. An invasion like this can force you to relive not only your own worst memories, but make you feel even the pain of the memories of the ones you love. They can also create visions of horror, and make you think that it is real. Sarah was shown awful, disgusting images. She is now sure that it has really happened to her. She thinks her soul has been ripped to shreds, her body violated in the most gruesome ways. ».
« But why...?» Lupin asked.
« I do not pretend to know, no one knows, just as no one knows why Seers are granted visions of the past, present and future. Maybe it's for their own amusement? Maybe they are simply expressing their own pain? », Trelawney said in her as always mellow voice.
« So you are telling me that they, it, whatever...did this to Sarah for no reason?»
Lupin was furious.
« Probably. A mark of true evil, is just that. Inflicting pain without reason, or cause. It does not matter now, Sirius will bring her back to us, and I will continue to teach her how to understand her visions better. Hopefully by the time this happens again, she will be learned enough to know that the images she is being shown are mere lies».
« It will happen again?» Snape looked up from his cauldron.
« Oh yes, Severus, it will happen again and not only once. It is, I'm afraid, the price all Seers must pay for their divine gift. All we can do is hope that by that time she will have understood the importance of focusing a little less on things like potions, and more on her own protection. Then maybe she will have mastered the techniques I am teaching her enough so that they will not affect her. Of course, she wouldn't have been affected this strongly, had you not given her that potion, Severus. I know that at the time it seemed the right thing to do, to calm her down. However, it made matters worse, because it trapped her in a subconcious state. I'm not saying that it is your fault, because it is not in any way. I am just saying this so that the next time it happens, you will better know how to deal with it ».
« But where does Black fit into all this?»
Snape had been wanting to ask that ever since Trelawney told Lupin to send for him. « She would not let Lupin or I touch her, yet he... just picked her up and walked out of here». It would have taken a deaf and blind person not to notice the jealousy behind that statement.
Trelawney, as always had an airy answer to this too.
« It seems that she has decided to trust him with her secrets. I believe you know a little about this, Remus. All the private conversations the two have been having lately. If I'm not mistaken, they have been flooing each other every day since her exams were over. She refuses to share the details of their conversations, but that's her perogative really. Whatever they talk about, it has created a bond between them. A rather unlikely bond, if you ask me, but then who can really predict these things...».
Lupin nodded. He had in fact noticed Sarah spending hours talking to Sirius through the fire, but they would fall silent as soon as he entered the room. He had never asked them, because the sadness that always filled the air afterwards, told him enough. « He trusts her with things he dosent even dare tell me...», he said quietly to Trelawney.
« Yes. Because they see in each other a familiar pain. This bond, the fact that she has trusted him, and only him, with her inner demons, will allow him to reach her and bring her back».
« Damn that Black! Always in my bloody way», Snape thought bitterly. It bothered him greatly that she had once said that she trusted him more than Sirius, and apparently that had now changed. « Dammit! Why couldn't you have bonded with me, Sarah?»
« Severus, this is not the time for thoughts like that. The most important thing is Sarah's well being, you can worry about that some other time. Incidently if I were you my dear, I would not worry at all, just be patient, trust her». Trelawney peered at him, «Now when your potion is ready take it back to Sarah's room, I think they are heading back now ».
She told Lupin to stay behind and help Snape finish up, at which Snape instantly protested. « I can work more effectively on my own»
Trelawney gave him a look and waved Lupin with her. She left the room while muttering something about the audacity of kids today, and that he should have realised that she wanted Lupin to help for a reason.
ooo
Sarah felt the sun in her eyes and opened them, «Sirius?»
He kissed her forehead. « I was beginning to worry about you», he smiled at her. « Oh Sirius it was so horrible» and she started crying. It was not the panicked, frantic weeping of the night before. It was much calmer, a cry of relief that he was there and she was no longer alone.
She felt his calmness filling her up. « Do you want to go back to the castle? I can carry you back if you want?» she nodded.
He helped her up and wrapped his summer cloak around her. She was still wearing only that tshirt she slept in. « Do want me to carry you back?», Sirius asked when he noticed that walking seemed to pain her. « No, thanks. I'm fine », she said, but before she had even finished saying it, he had already picked her up. Sarah didn't protest. She was too tired and had to admit to herself that the cuts under her feet hurt like hell. She put her arms around his neck. « thank you for staying with me last night», she said and kissed his cheek.
Sirius want quite sure what she meant by that, but he just smiled and said,
« Sarah, I will always be there for you».
ooo
When they entered Sarahs room, Trelawney and Lupin were waiting for them.
« You took longer than I expected», Trelawney said to Sirius, as if he had been to the corner store to get milk.
Sirius sat down on the couch and Sarah remained in his arms. Lupin knelt in front of her, he made to take her hand, but she pulled back. « Are you alright little sister?»
« I am. I think I am...», she said and turned to Trelawney to ask what had happened.
« There will be plenty time to explain later. Severus is bringing you a potion to help lift your spirits, then you and I can talk».
Sure enough just as she said that, Snape came in, holding a large beaker full of steaming hot potion, a couple of vials and some cotton.
The second he saw Sarah sitting on Sirius' lap, her arms still around his neck, his eyes narrowed and unwelcome thoughts came to him. « How could there not be something between them? Why would he look at her like that, if they are 'just friends' ?»
He sat down on the opposite sofa and set the beaker on the table between them. « Let the potion cool off a couple of minutes before you drink it, but no longer. Also I have some essence of Dittany for your wounds», he said to her.
Sarah gave him a faint smile and a thankful nod.
« You know, you really scared me last night», he almost whispered to her. « What do you mean? Why did I scare you?», Sarah wondered.
She let go of Sirius and shifted down onto the sofa beside him instead. « Don't you remember? You came to me. You were panicking an-». « Severus, this is not the time», Trelawney turned to Sarah « I will explain all of the nights events to you in due time, for now all you need is that potion ».
Sarah reached for the beaker and sipped the potion. It tasted just like hot, fresh, sweet jasmine tea. « Did you make this specially for me?», she asked Snape.
He gave her a little nod. Sarah's face broke into a delighted smile.
« Severus, that is the sweetest thing. Thank you», she said earnestly. He returned her smile with a tiny little smile of his own, while thinking that Sybill Trelawney was indeed the most clever person in the world.
Sarah sipped her potion, and gave him another little smile. She was almost amazed that he would even bother customizing a potion specifically for her, when both he and Pomfrey probably had several ready made that would have the same effect.
« You should probably dab that Dittany on your wounds», Lupin said, and came to sit on the table. He took the bottle in one hand, and Sarah's arm in the other. « Don't touch me!», she spat and withdrew from him like prey from a predator.
« I'm sorry... it's just.. I'll do it myself», Sarah said and emptied the beaker, even though the potion was still a little too hot to be shot down in one go.
« Sarah. Let me». Sirius took the vial of Dittany from Lupin. Sarah shook her head, protesting that she wasn't invalid, and was fully capable of dabbing some blasted Dittany on her own damn wounds. At this Sirius whispered something in her ear, something not even Trelawney knew what was, and Sarah let him take over without another word.
ooo
Snape looked at them, Sirius genlty dabbing the marks on her arms, her neck, her face, her thighs. He was touching every inch of her, every now and then he would kiss her cheek, or whisper in her ear.
It seemed that they were oblivious to anybody else's existence but their own.
How he envied Sirius at this moment. He so desperately wished that he was the one soothing her pain, the only one that would give her comfort. He wanted to be her hero, the one who had rescued her from where ever she had been.
He was about to stand up, when a look from Trelawney pinned him to the sofa.
« You never listen do you, Severus. I tell you to be patient and the second you see something you don't like, you are headed out the door. Don't mind Sirius. Trust her, or she too will slip right through your fingers»
ooo
When Sirius had finished and the wounds on Sarah's body were quickly healing, he put his arms around her and pulled her close. She put her head on his shoulder and he kissed it as he took her hand into his.
They seemed afraid to let go of each other, as if both their lives depended on them being able to hold on to one and other.
Despite what Trelawney had just said Snape felt as if someone had kicked him in the chest.
«Sarah definately belongs to Black».
ooo
« Remus told me you might stay here for the summer?» Sarah looked at Sirius. « Will you?»
« Yes, I'd much rather stay here with you lot than alone in London ».
Sirius pulled her even closer as he said this. «But I think you need to rest now, Sarah. Maybe we should leave?» He looked around the room.
«No, no, no, in fact the last thing Sarah needs is to be alone», Trelawney told him. « Why don't you kids take her out for some fun. That's the best thing for her now. Better than any rest or potion, is the company of dear friends»
«Alright then!», Lupin got up and clapped his hands together, « Who's up for dinner and drinks in Hogsmeade?»
« That does sound good actually! But you have to come too!», she was talking to Snape, who was already headed out the door.
« I can't..I'm busy..», he said.
« Busy are you? Have to prepare for classes tomorrow? You are coming and thats the end of it. Did you not hear Sybill just say than more than anything I needed the company of my dearest friends? Such a company would never be complete without you »
« I really cannot, I have to-». « Severus, please? Just this once?», she pleaded, not interested in his exuses.
How could he have said no? Not when the guilt of knowing that while Sirius had helped her, he had only made things worse, was eating away at him. Not when she looked so tiny in that shirt that was at least three sizes too big. Her hair snow white from fear. Begging him to come and either not noticing, or ignoring the frown Sirius made when she did.
« All right, I will come, but I still have to clear the mess in the classroom first», he said defeated.
« Remus, go help him», Trelawney almost ordered, and shooed them out the door before either could protest.
After she had all but kicked the two out. She turned to Sarah. « Here is a little something, to help you through until tomorrow», she said and handed her a brown laquer box that she might just as well have pulled out of thin air. With a quick explination, and instructions, Trelawney left as well, leaving only Sarah and Sirius.
« I should probably take a shower» Sarah said as she examined the dried streaks of blood on her body. Sirius nodded, « I should probably give you some privacy...», but he didn't leave. He just sat there holding her hand. She looked down, « Will you stay in the bathroom with me?».
« I... I'm scared...», she said quietly and reluctantly. As if it was the most humiliating thing, admitting that she was scared.
ooo
Later the four headed down to Hogsmeade. On the way they stopped by Hagrid, and soon there were five heads walking down the path to the village.
They took their time, going to Hogsmeade, it was still early in the evening and they were in no rush.
It was a bit silent and ackward at first. It was the first time that Snape had joined them for anything. She was glad that he had finally ran out of excuses, and glad that Hagrid was there.
Hagrid was probably the biggest buffer she could find to put between Sirius and Snape. Maybe it was because he had been the gamekeeper since before their schooldays, and had been pulling them apart ever since they were about ten, but for some reason, if the two started something, it seldom took more than an 'enough', from Hagrid to send them back to their corners.
Not even Dumbledore could pull that trick out of his pointy hat.
She was still holding Sirius' hand. She feared of letting go, for reasons unknown to herself, and she could feel that Sirius felt the same strange unreasonable fear of letting go. Like she was magically tied to him, and if the tie was broken, she would fall back into the nightmare he had pulled her out of.
The Three Broomsticks was buzzing with noise. They had walked in on open stage night and the pub was overcrowded with hopeful entertainers and spectators. One glance at Snape expression was all Sarah needed to suggest the Hogs Head.
The Hogs Head, on the other hand, was almost deserted in comparison, with only three witches sitting at the bar, under a sign announcing that today Venison stew was on the menu.
Aberforth greeted them with a friendly grunt and nodded towards the back room, where the only table big enough to seat them all was.
Sarah and Sirius sat on one side, and the other three across from them. Still Sirius has Sarah's fingers entwined in his.
Aberforth came to them with a enormous tray of wine, bread, goatscheese and a large pot of stew. As he placed it in the table, plates, goblet, and utensils appeared on the table.
While they ate and drank, and listened to Hagrid and one of his numerous tales of something utterly weird that had happened to him once, Snape leaned back and discreetly watched Sarah. Her hair was back to its normal color, identical to Sirius'. The color was back in the complexion and she was laughing again. The fire was back in her eyes. As she tried not to fall of her chair while laughing at Hagrids punchline, she caught Snape's eye, and noticed him looking at her. With a shy smile, she blushed and looked away.
A bit later he noticed that even though she was talking to Lupin, she kept glancing over at him. He though about what Trelawney had told him. Then he mulled over the fact that even though she was holding Sirius' hand and talking to Lupin and Hagrid, most of her attention was still on him.
« Maybe the old Seer had a point...?»
Then Sarah took out that lacquer box that Trelawney had given her. Inside was a light purple colored dried grass, and cigarette rolling paper.
He knew what it was. Vesuvian Lilac Moss. A strong and rare drug that was extremely difficult, if not almost impossible to come by, unless you had the right connections, or knew how to grow it.
« Where did you get that?», Snape, Lupin and Hagrid asked almost in unison.
« Sybill thought I could do with a pick me up, and gave me enough to share with you guys», Sarah said with a little wink. « You got that from Trelawney?», Hagrid laughed, « that woman never ceases to surprise me!»
« According to her, Seers swear by it to get over particularly bad visions», Sarah said and was already rolling the moss and handing it out. Lupin snatched the first one, and lit it up at once. It seemed it was certainly not his first time on the moss, as they called it.
Something Sirius was quick to point out. In fact it soon became apparent that only Sirius and Sarah were first timers to the drug. Hagrid used to have a small secret patch in the greenhouses, until some kids had stolen it, and Dumbledore had forbidden him to grow more.
Lupin had come across it through a couple of werewolf friends, if one could call it that, and Snape didn't say where he had tried it before, and was relieved that Sarah didn't ask.
ooo
« You know what we need with this moss?», Hagrid asked.
« Fairy shots», came suprisingly enough from Snape. He pulled at his already half smoked moss and inhaled deeply before exhailing the thick lilac colored smoke.
Hagrid gave him an approving smile and went to the bar.
«What's that?», Sarah wanted to know. « A shot of firewhisky and absinthe topped off with a little fairy blood», Snape explained, « it is an experience, believe me».
« Fairy blood huh? Isn't that mainly used as a base for antidepressants?», Sarah asked.
Snape nodded, « and to ease psychotic hallucinations... how did you know that? Fairy blood isn't even a subject unless you are studying to be a healer». He looked at her, slightly impressed.
« Well, my dearest professor, there is a genious little thing called a book. Filled with knowledge it is, and one can buy them, on pretty much any subject that one finds interesting. One can even buy and read ones that contain infomation beyond what one is required to know», Sarah said and poked her tounge at him.
« Watch your tounge, Miss Kessler, or you might find it in detention along with the rest of you», Snape said with a sly smirk.
Sarah blew a ring of smoke at him, « That's what I'm aiming for...».
« Right, Fairy shots all around!», Hagrid announced as he put three bottles and five small glasses on the table.
It didn't take more than some moss and a few rounds of Fairy shots before the group were sailing both high and low. Any awkwardness was gone, and for tonight, they were just five people enjoying the first night of a summer together.
ooo
They were on their second bottle of wine, and no one knew how many shots they had gone through. Sometime after the ninth round, they had lost track. Hovering above their heads, was a thick cloud of pinkish smoke from the moss.
Sarah seemed completely restored to her old self, even though she and Sirius still had not let go of each other. Throughout the entire night he was either holding her hand, or sitting with his arm around her.
About the same time as Snape poured the last drops of the third wine bottle in to his goblet, and Sirius emptied shot number 15, Lupin and Hagrid started singing. Loudly.
Lucky thing that by now, they were the only patrons left.
« How come... you are not drunk?», Snape asked Sarah while trying to figure out if the real her was the one on the right, or the one on the left.
« because she can hold her liquor better than you can, Snivs!», Sirius barked in a laugh.
« You... shut the hell up...pomeranian...», Snape said, and tried to curl his upper lip in a sneer. « You´re not that scary when you can't even bloody focus!», Sirius laughed in between hiccups.
« No, no, she's always like this when she's drunk. You wouldn't know that she has had a single drink until she gets up» Lupin joined in.
«Yeah until she gets up and falls right back down again», Sirius sniggered, «like that time at Hagrids, remember, I had to carry her all the way to her bed, cause she couldn't even stand stand on her feet». The five of them started laughing, then Lupin rememberd something.
« Hey, hey! Paddy! Remember what day that was? That was the day she petted his snake!», he pointed at Snape. Lupin and Sirius roared with laugher.
« Are you still not done with that?». Hagrid shook his head, but laughed with them all the same.
«What?», Snape looked at them questioningly.
So Lupin told him about what Sarah had said about Snape's room.
« And she went on and on about what a fantastic place it was and how she could spent the rest of her life there, sitting in the window, reading your books. So I teased her and said 'so you dream of moving in with Snape' and she told me to shut up and punched me so hard! Has she ever punched you? No? Well, better hope she doesn't cause it bloody hurts! Anyway she punched me then said...».
He could not speak because he was giggling so hard he was red in the face, « Ok ok, she said that you had this», he giggled some more, «fantastic big snake, and she had petted it and it felt so good to touch, warm and smooth and..». Both he and Sirius were now laughing so hard, they were flat on the table. Sirius was murmuring, « She petted his snake», between every roar of laughter!
Snape looked at Sarah. It was hard for her to read the expression on his face. « You actually said that!?», and then he too gave a great roar of laughter, and almost lay flat on the table. « It was fantastically big was it?». More laughter, more giggling.
Sarah just sat there, both a bit angry at 'the boys club' and yet happy that at least the three of them were having fun together, even though it was at her expense, and it wasn't even remotely funny.
After about half an hour of the guys laughing and a hundred more comments about how she had been so impressed by 'Snape's snake', she was sick and tired of it. If it hadn't been for her still needing to hold on to Sirius, she would have up and left.
Finally she was rescued by Aberforth, who came over to their table and told them he was closing now and they had to leave.
ooo
Halfway back to the castle, Sirius spotted the quidditch pitch. « Ooh...lets go flying!»
He dragged Sarah with him and ran to the broomsheds. «Come on Sarah, hop on» He had mounted a broom, and threw one in her direction. « But...Sirius...»
«What's the hold up, Sarah? COME ON!» he was nagging now. « Sirius, there is no way you are ever getting me back on a broom», she said through clenched teeth and tossed the broom back at him.
« Oh, for Merlins sake, it will be fun!», he said. «NO! you are not getting me up in the air on nothing more than a stick of wood.» Sarah was actually backing away from him now. Lupin, Hagrid and Snape had finally caught up to them. Sirius threw brooms at them aswell, « Come on, you lazy sods!»
Lupin refused, « I am not getting on a broom, I'll be sick if I fly now», and Hagrid agreed with him. Snape however, got on his, and they took off. Soaring rather clumsily around as they were dead drunk.
As Sarah watched them zig zag in the air, the phrase ´don't drink and drive', came to mind. «Is that safe?» she asked Lupin.
« Not at all, but they're big boys, complete idiots, but big boys...»
Sirius was trying to do figure-eights, but it looked more like a B. Snape was flying upside down. « How can they do that? Without getting sick I mean?» Sarah laughed.
« I have no idea...», Lupin shrugged his shoulders.
He took out a flatened pack of cigarettes and offered Sarah one. She took one, and commented on the fact that he actually had cigarettes. Lupin always bummed off her.
« I confiscated them off a student last week», he said with a grin.
« What are those gits up to now?», Hagrid wondered and pointed at the two drunken buffoons who were racing to see who could do the most loop de loops.
« Those two will turn anything into a bloody 'wand weighing'...», Sarah laughed. « You know, he's just showing off for you..», Hagrid said, meaning Snape.
« I know! He is such a kid!», Sarah laughed and thought he meant Sirius.
Snape and Sirius were now so high up that they were almost invisible in the nightsky. Suddenly they started on a vertical dive towards the grounds.
« Oh no... damn fools are playing 'chicken'», Lupin muttered as the blur that was the two wizards, rushed towards the ground. He started to explain the game to Sarah, but she told him that they had the same game in the muggle world, where it was played with cars instead.
She barely had time to finish her sentence before the two crashed into the grass infront of them.
For a moment there was complete silence.
Then Lupin stepped over to where Sirius was lying on his back. « Are you dead?», he asked and nudged the possible corpse with his foot.
« The bleeding maniac sped up right before we hit ground», Sirius said in a yammer of pain.
« I did not! You slowed down, which makes you the official chicken», Snape said after he cast a spell to heal his broken shoulder. He moved his arm around, and got up when he found it was completely healed.
Sirius had it worse. « I think I broke my back...», he complained to Lupin, who shook his head. « You're not sixteen anymore, you twit!». Then he gestured for Hagrid to help him.The healing spell needed, took the power of two wands.
Now that the pain in his back was somewhat gone, Sirius got up and started arguing with Snape on who had won the race.
« Forget them, come join me for a drink.» Hagrid motioned for them to join him. Lupin followed right away, but Sarah was calling for Sirius and Snape to come with.
« I almost forgot about you...», Sirius said as he took her hand. He kissed it apologetically.
ooo
At Hagrids, a bottle of homebrew was being emptied fast. Sarah had long since reached her limit, and was just puffing on a cigar Hagrids had given her. She was smirking a bit showoffish and blowing perfect rings of smoke at Snape, who couldn't decide if she was flirting with him or not.
« Hagrid, turn on the wireless, we need some music», Lupin asked.
« Allright, what kind of music you want?» Hagrid was turming the dial on the wireless.
« Anything except for ...», Sarah stopped talking. She had noticed something on a high up shelf behind Hagrid. Her jaw dropped. She got up slowly and walked towards it. « Hagrid... where did you get this?»
« Oh, darn! I had forgotten about that. It was supposed to be your birthday present», Hagrid said. Sarah reached for it, « May...may I...?» Hagid nodded and Sarah took it down from the shelf.
« You bought this for me?», she said as she examined the sword in awe. « Well, I thought you might like it», he said with a humble smile.
« Are you kidding?! I LOVE it!», Sarah exclaimed, enchanted by the sword in her hand. Slowly she withdrew it from its green scabbard and the polished blade shone in her face.
« Are you seriously getting your pants in a knot over a sword?», Lupin teased. « This isn't just any sword, this is a samurai sword, ... this is beautiful!»
« How can you tell?» Lupin asked. « I spent two years in Japan studying the art of the samurai»
«What is a samurai» Sirius asked. « Ancient japanese warriors» Sarah mumbled, still mesmerized by the sword.
Deep in her own thoughts, she walked out of the hut.
« What's up with her?»
All four guys followed her out. They found her swinging and slashing the sword through the air.
« This is amazing! It's perfectly balanced ». She moved the sword so fast they barely even see it, only hear the sound of it slashing through the air.
She made her way towards the scarecrow on the pumkinpatch and swung the blade at it's head. Nothing happened. « HAH! you missed!» Sirius teased her.
Sarah said nothing, lowered the sword and gave the scarecrows pumpkinhead a slight push. The tophalf fell to the ground. «...and it's razor sharp!», she panted excitedly.
« How did you learn to do that!?», Snape was gaping at her. « didn't I just explain I spent a year in Japan studying it?», she said. « Yes, but studying an ancient art is one thing, you yield that sword as if you have never done anything else!» Snape said back, slightly in awe.
«Well I have had alot of practice. Remember I told you I studied martials arts since I was a kid... well, this is one of the styles I trained. That was the reason I went to Japan. I took classes back in my hometown for years, and was so facinated by the art, I decided to study it more closely. So as soon as I became of age, I left for Japan. » she said in a matter of fact voice.
« We could sure have used you during the w-», Sirius bit his tounge.
The silence that fell was so heavy, you couldn't have cut it with a chainsaw even. Suddenly no one knew where to look.
ooo
« So what other hidden talents do you have?», Snape asked and everyone else were just as happy to pretend like nothing.
Including Sarah, who sat down on an oversized pumpkin. « Well... I can speak about five languages, actually six now, with the latin. I'm a fairly good cook, and I know how to ride a motorbike. Hey...speaking of that... don't you have a motorcycle, Sirius?»
«It got smashed ages ago...». Sirius looked really sad about it. « Too bad... I miss riding a bike, nothing quite like it...», Sarah got up and went back in.
She had one last drink with the boys, and dozed off on Sirius' shoulder. « Just put her in my bed» Hagrid said « it's quite alright.» Sirius lifted her and carried her into Hagrid's bedroom. Snape heard him lay her down and kiss her goodnight. He heard Sarah ask him to stay with her.
Sirius did not come back out.
He closed his eyes and could not keep the images of Sarah and Sirius away. He saw them entangled together, kissing, touching. He could see her arching her back, biting her lips in delight, her legs wrapped around Sirius, her fingers in his hair. Whispering in his ear, begging him to come with her.
He could hear her so clearly. « Please, come with me, Sirius. I want you to come. I need you with me». But Sirius was saying no, that he didn't like it. He didn't want to come. It scared him, he said.
«Wait, this isn't right somehow...».
Snape opened his eyes. It was daylight outside, and Sarah and Sirius were apparently arguing in the kitchen. He felt an endless reliefas he realised it was just a dream.
He pulled himself off the couch he had fallen asleep on, and went to the kitchen.
ooo
Sarah was, of all things, baking in the kitchen, she had a large lump of dough in front of her, and was going at it with all her strenght. Sirius was standing beside her, throwing pinches of flour into the air and watching it as it snowed down on Sarah. She didn't seem to mind, or even notice.
As soon as he entered the room the two fell silent.
« Fine, I'll come with you. Let me go back to my room to shower, and I'll meet you up there», Sirius said to Sarah. Sarah shook her head. « You can't leave me... shower here, and we'll go up together». He agreed, kissed her cheek, and shoved his way past Snape to go shower. Snape was too tired to bother start anything with him right now. So he ignored him and let him pass.
«You know you can do that with magic», Snape said and pointed at the dough. He was now slowly starting to feel the effects of yesterday.
« Where is the satisfaction in that?», she chirped.
« Why are you so damn cheerful? I mean... don't you feel like.. well like shit? After all that, you know yesterday...» Snape said while deciding he had to sit down. He was seeing three of her.
«Ooh yeah! Wait, I'll make you feel better in a second». She put a tall glass in front of him, filled it halfway up with water, some sugar, a pinch of salt and a twist of lime. With her wand she made it stir, and turned it into sparkling water, she then topped it off with a generous amount of vinegar, muttered some spells over it and gave it too him.
« Drink this and you'll feel human again» She smiled at him, waiting.
He eyed the glass suspiciously, before emptying it in one go. Sure enough, as he felt the bubbles in his throat and stomach, the room around him stopped spinning, his head no longer threatning to implode, his stomach no longer feeling like a stormy sea. « Something from the family Potions book?»
She shook her head. « The drink it self is from my 'muggle days', we used to make it when we were hungover, to settle our stomachs, but now I've given it a twist of magic. Adding spells to cure headaches and fatigue».
« Did you put a cheering charm on it as well?», Snape asked as a fantastic good mood was warming him up. She blushed slightly, as she put the scones to bake in the oven. « Well... I did on yours, I woke up in such a great mood that I didn't really need one». « ...and you figured you didn't want to see just how cranky I could be when hungover...», he said while the cheering charm kept his mood up.
« Well... yes, to be honest», she replied in a smile. Then she handed him a huge cup of steaming black coffee, and poured one for herself as well.
Snape looked around for the sugar bowl. « I already put two cubes in it, and no, I didn't stir», Sarah said.
« How did you know that?».
« Are you kidding, Severus? I've been sitting across from you at the breakfast table for six months. You always do the exact same. Black coffee, to sugars, not stirred so that only the last sips taste sweet. You cut your toast diagonally into four pieces. Blueberry jam on two, and butter on two. You never eat the last piece with butter. Instead you take a pear and head for your office».
Snape shook his head. « You spy on me during meals?», he teased.
« I observe. I notice details. Which is a good thing, or I would never have been any good at things like Potions». He agreed to that. Proper attention to detail was really all you needed to get your head around Potions.
« I'm sure if you think about it, you can tell me exactly what I have for breakfast every morning». She said it almost as a challenge.
He thought about it for two seconds before it dawned on him that is was really a trick question.
« You never have the same thing for breakfast two mornings in a row», he said smugly. The more he thought about it, the clearer it was. « I have spent far too much time watching you...»
« Nevertheless, you have the same routine every single morning. You start out with a cup of green tea, which you only drink in the mornings, and while you sip that, you browse the table and plan your meal. Infact you spend more time planning your meal, than actually eating it.You fill your plate in the same meticulous, methodical way you prepare for a potion. You divide your plate into sections, filling each up with various food groups, and you don't just randomly pick whatever you feel like.
You have a perfect balance between greens, bread and things like cheese and jam. You fill your plate with the exact amount of food you eat. Not a single olive more or less. You pour yourself half a goblet of whole milk, and a full goblet of juice. What juice you drink depends on what food you have picked, so you never pour your juice until you have finished filling your plate. Finally, when you have everything ready and set, you eat and tie the entire meal off with a cup of sweet jasmine tea. From all this I gather that breakfast is your favorite meal, because it is the only meal you devote so much attention to».
« Wow...», Sarah muttered.
« Ah, but there is more», Snape said. He was on a roll now.
«If you are having a good morning, you'll go for something salty, but if you are in a bad mood...
then you go for the sweet things. If you have a book with you, you have cereal, because then you are too preoccupied to think about what you are eating. If you are hung-over, you don't eat at all, but drink two cups of coffee, and I do believe you like your coffee exactly the way I do».
Sarah nodded in awe. « Oh, yes, I almost forgot. When Black is here, you hate having to sit next to him. Because he eats off your plate, and completely throws you off balance!», he added victoriously.
« Wow...», Sarah said again, clearly impressed, « you are good!». « Well, I am an experienced s-... observer..», he said.
ooo
« So do you want your usual toast, or are you brave enough to try my scones?», she asked as the timer charm on the oven went off.
« You don't have to make me breakfast», he said.
She didn't reply to this as she placed the basket of hot scones on the table and dissappeared into Hagrid's cold pantry. « He doesn't have blueberry jam. Will you survive on marmalade just for today?».
« Marmalade will do just fine. What? No. Sarah, you shouldn't be doing this. After what you went through, you should be relaxing or something...», he protesed.
« What I went through? I had a bad dream. You make it sound like I just gave birth to quintuplets...», she said as an array of things came out of the pantry and landed neatly on the table.
She came to sit down and absent mindedly started preparing her plate, « I happen to love making breakfast. It relaxes me, and I actually missed it since I came here», she said so quietly he couldn't quite tell if she was talking to him, or just thinking out loud.
He calmly sipped his coffee and watched her as she went through her breakfast routine. She still had a dusty coating of flour in her hair.
« Stop it», she said to him all of a sudden, and broke his trance.
«What?»
« Stop grinning at me like that», she said. « I never grin», he said and became aware that he was in fact grinning.
« It's not nice make fun of people just because they have certain ways they like to do things», she said and flicked a sugar cube at him, which he caught it with remarkable speed and ease. « It's not that. You have flour in your hair, you know».
« Blasted Sirius...», she said with a certain smile.
He thought of his dream, or rather nightmare, and wondered why she had woken up in such a damn good mood. If he hadn't been so certain of the strength of his block, he might have thought she had sensed what he was thinking. For just as he thought it, Sarah told him that she had the most amazing dream. « I dreamt I was falling into fire».
He asked her how that could be translated into a good thing.
« It's not so much the images you see that count, as the feeling that lingers after the dream. In this case I woke up feeling that I was in love and the world was perfect. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was still enough to cheer me up».
« Have you ever been in love?». He bit his tounge. He had never intended to actually say that out loud.
A hint of darkness fell over Sarah's face. He could tell she was trying to smile it away, but was almost failing. « Once...», she said.
Curiosity got the best of him and he had to ask her what had happened. « We had a few months of bliss together, and then he left me», she said completely without emotion.
« What do you mean, he left you?! Why did he leave?» « What kind of brainless moron would leave you?!»
« He just...one day he was there, and the next he was gone. And I can't think of any reason except that life is bloody unfair. WHY the hell are you interrogating me?!», Sarah all but yelled at him.
She excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she came back a minute later, everything seemed to be fine. She sat down with smile and reheated her cup. They didn't talk again, but between those two that wasn't really a problem.
ooo
The sweet silence broke when Sirius came back, showered and ready to go. He slumped down next to Sarah, facing her. « You ready?», he asked and grabbed a scone of her plate. He bit off nearly half of it and washed it down with her coffee.
Sarah glanced over at Snape and rolled her eyes. He smirked back.
« What?», Sirius asked and finished the scone. Sarah gave him a smile and pushed her plate towards him. « Just an internal joke. You had to have been there», she said.
Then she got up and fetched herself a new cup.
« Do I really have to come with you?», Sirius complained as he ate her breakfast.
Sarah glanced over at Snape. « Dammit, I explained this earlier», she said through clenched teeth. « Can't you wait and go to Trelawney when you feel better?», he said, seemingly oblivious to the obvious fact that she didn't want to discuss this if front of Snape.
« I feel just fine», she said but it was directed more at Snape than Sirius, « and Sybill is already waiting».
« Alright then. Let's go». Sirius got up and practically shoved Sarah out of the cottage.
Now alone in the kitchen, Snape poured himself another cup while pondering upon what had happened to make her snap like that, just at the thought of it.