Where new beginnings bring old grudges out of hidding.
Chapter 39: Pemberley Family
Derbyshire, Pemberley Wednesday the twelfth August. Eighth day. Morning.
"Mother, I said no! I don't want one..."
Mrs. Bennet looked at the heavens and took a deep breath that would have shaken the eardrums of all of Pemberley if Fitzwilliam Darcy had not appeared behind Elizabeth.
Mrs. Bennet who had for a long time decided that Fitzwilliam Darcy was the most perfect gentleman and the best son in law a mother could wish for, immediately lost her momentum and couldn't help but smile at the Master of Pemberley.
"I'm sorry to intrude, dear," said he, "but I do believe your mother is right. Your wedding dress would be even more beautiful with a train. And do take into account you Gardiner cousins. What more exciting prospect for a young girl than to follow a loved one to the altar of the church while holding the train of the wedding gown? It will be their most exciting memory for the years to come. And, with luck, when they marry they'll remember the privilege they got and invite our own daughters to carry their trains. That's what family is for... To build marvelous memories for everybody."
The smile on Mrs. Bennet's face blossomed.
Fitzwilliam Darcy was more than handsome, rich and famous. Agreeing with her, he touched to perfection. He was already on the highest step of her personal Pantheon but she immediately put two more level at his top. Nothing could be good enough for such a paragon of good manners.
Elizabeth knew she had lost that battle when the faces of her mother and aunt were illuminated by very satisfied smiles.
Her formidable fiancé had, once more, seduced them and they would be for all eternity his devoted and grateful followers. Mrs. Reynolds would be no help in this peculiar instance, she being already -and for a long time- in that category!.
As was she, if she could, for a minute, forget that she was upset with her mother...
Which was, with each passing day, a little more difficult.
She sighed and accepted her defeat.
"But only because of Emma and her sister..."
She immediately was rewarded for her acceptation by a series of kisses planted by Fitzwilliam at the bottom of her neck.
Bottom which, thanks to a not buttoned dress could travel much lower than usually.
Elizabeth couldn't help herself but sensually growl her pleasure under Fitzwilliam's masterful strokes.
"Mr. Darcy," said Mrs. Bennet, "I must enjoin you to immediately stop. Such unseemly behavior cannot be accepted..."
Her shining eyes and her satisfied smile saying quite the opposite of her words.
Mrs. Gardiner seeing that the situation could very well cross the boundaries of good education, walked forward, grasped Mr. Darcy by the arm and pushed him out of the dressing room.
They could not afford to let such a public behavior go on. The whole household was already brimming with rumors about a certain picnic and the liberties the bride and her bridegroom had taken in advance, that letting them continue was just out of the question.
"I'm sorry to be so rude, Mr. Darcy, but there are limits even the master of Pemberley has no right to exceed. Please do not come back... Your presence is –visibly-- upsetting the bride."
Bride who, leaning backwards into her fiancé's embrace, had just be saved by Georgiana's intervention from a very ungraceful fall on her rear end when her aunt has pulled Fitzwilliam away from her.
Georgiana's smile was all that was necessary to reconcile Lizzie with the situation. She smiled back and climbed again on the platform where she was spending a few hours each morning to let the seamstress and the women of the family prepare her for the wedding.
She turned around and to her great satisfaction she was able to see Fitzwilliam's shining smile just before the door was, once more, closed.
His smile would be enough for the coming hour.
Georgiana, as the Bridegroom's only female relative, had been adopted by the female ruling circle of the clan and thus was part of every decision pertaining to Lizzie's wedding. She didn't say much but she was very proud to be included in the little, but important, Club.
She was quite satisfied to be so treated and even more satisfied to be considered as an important female of the household even by Mrs. Reynolds who had had no qualm about her presence.
From time to time she even had the impression that she was more important than Elizabeth who, being the object of all decisions and fittings, was not really treated as a member of the ruling circle.
Not yet anyway. As the bride she was in a sort of familial limbo where her status was not very clear.
She and Georgiana had had very few occasions to speak but for all Miss Darcy knew they had already found common interests which would link them even more together than her wedding with Fitzwilliam.
Bu her relations with Elizabeth were not what had brought her the most surprise.
What was even more important to Georgiana was the very peculiar link that had grown between her and Mrs. Bennet.
Georgiana had never known what having a loving and caring mother could mean.
She had seen the mothers of some of her relations but none had ever shown her feelings for her children so openly than Mrs. Bennet.
Some would probably have called Lizzie's mother intrusive but Georgiana had learned better.
Mrs. Bennet cared. She even cared a lot! And from the minute she had looked at Georgiana she had decided that she cared also for the slight shy person who was under the towering protective influence of Fitzwilliam Darcy.
And Georgiana had been very much surprised to notice that she liked the way Mrs. Bennet cared for her.
There was no show nor hypocrisy in what Mrs. Bennet demonstrated.
She just cared for her daughters.
In every way she deemed important! And securing a future to at least one of them had been one of the ways she had shown her attention.
It was in her nature and Georgiana had very soon understood that under Mrs. Bennet apparent intrusiveness lurked a very real loving anxiety. And for a reason Georgiana had had a few problems to grasp, Mrs. Bennet had included her in the little circle of her wards. And when everything else was said, Georgiana liked it very much to be considered as a real member of a real –and extensive-- family.
Not that Fitzwilliam had ever mistreated her or refused to show her affection but he had always been so controlled, so distant... She smiled. Yes, he had been controlled and distant. Since the Bennets had entered their life he was no longer all the time controlled or distant.
He was also often spontaneously happy and natural.
And, to Georgiana's real surprise, he too had accepted Mrs. Bennet's numerous signs of affection as if they were natural and even normal. And not in the least to please Elizabeth who had made no effort to conceal that her mother's affects were upsetting her.
That point was becoming a problem. The more Fitzwilliam and Georgiana seemed to accept Mrs. Bennet's exuberance, the more Mrs. Bennet's character seemed to upset Elizabeth.
With quarrels who let both antagonists more than exhausted.
But there Fitzwilliam had shown a facet of his character that even his sister had never known before. He was, with the help of the whole staff, doing everything in his power to deflate even the slightest sign of a quarrel between daughter and mother.
His appearance a few minutes earlier had nothing to do with luck or chance.
He had been informed that a storm was brewing.
And he had done everything in his power to be there in the less time possible.
And, once more, the worst has not happened.
But he could not be everywhere and from time to time he was called outside the House.
At these moments the "ruling circle" just stopped preparing the wedding. Mrs. Gardiner's children had that marvelous habit to show up when Fitzwilliam was absent, obliging the preparations to be, momentarily, stopped.
But Georgiana knew that it could not last. The incoming storm would come and she had no idea how Elizabeth and her mother would come out of that conflagration.
She looked up at Elizabeth, smiled at her and went to Mrs. Reynolds.
"I'd like to stop for now... Will it be a problem if I leave you?"
Mrs. Reynolds looked up and her eyes asked Mrs. Bennet and Mrs. Gardiner.
"No," said Mrs. Gardiner. "It's even better if we all stop now. Neither Lizzie nor you are needed for the last part of our work. Go and get some rest, we will go on tomorrow morning..."
Georgiana curtsied, took Elizabeth's hand ad they both fled to the Mistress' bedroom where they would be able to chat.
As soon as they were out of the "dressing room" Kitty was at their side. Usually she was invited but with Elizabeth's mood pummeling down she had decided not to be where she would have to take position between her mother and her sister.
Elizabeth had never been her favorite sister, Lydia and Jane competing for that role, Lydia because of a common passion for balls and red frocks and Jane because one could always find help and solace with her eldest. Jane had always been the rock of stability and good sense in the Bennet family.
But that did not mean that Kitty didn't like Lizzie. She liked her very much –much more than Mary who was a bore-- , but she found her just a trace too cerebral.
And, from time to time blinded by prejudice.
As now.
She was decided to do something and she knew exactly how to launch her campaign.
She helped Lizzie to change into one of the plainer dresses she so much liked and began with a frontal attack.
Sixteen years of cohabitation with three and then four sisters had learned her that nothing was more effective than a direct assault of the fortress you wish to take.
She went to the bathroom door and looked at the opposite wall while Georgiana was giving Lizzie a hand to straighten her hair. They had decided not to call the hairdresser since there would be another round of fitting somewhere in the afternoon. And since old habits have problems to die, Lizzie saw no use in bothering the poor maids more than necessary.
"Where's that famous secret door?"
She loved the light crimson on both girls cheeks.
"What secret door?" stammered Elizabeth.
""THE secret door," explained she with raised eyebrows. "Where HE goes through for his nightly visits..."
She loved that very colorful shade of dark crimson even more...
She burst out laughing.
"Look at yourself in the mirror. I would be speaking to two lobsters just squeezing in sizzling water I wouldn't have nicer shades of red..."
Elizabeth, not unschooled in sisterly campaigns, decided that a counter attack was the best way to quit these slippery waters and waddle into more secure ones.
"How untoward! Shame on you to even utter such unseemly comments..."
But with Lydia's aid –and opposition-- Kitty had developed quite an effective skill in not hearing what was to no avail to her present goal. And she was even better at hurtling back the other's arguments...
"Unseemly? Untoward? Hear, hear... Because I speak of a door? What would it be if it was me that handsome Fitzwilliam Darcy comes to in the middle of the night to carry me to some secret..."
Her comment had the exact result she intended: Lizzie was up and trying to grasp her.
Georgiana's even deeper dark crimson –a real achievement there-- was just a little bonus she would never have counted on.
Being prepared and much younger than her old sister she had no problems to dodge the cowardly attempt at surprising her.
Like an eel she slipped through Lizzie's finger and escaped by wiggling between two armchairs and by somersaulting over the bed.
Out of her sister's immediate reach she stuck her tongue at Lizzie.
"Come on, Lizzie, tell us! We are your sisters, We have a right to know the truth. You must be aware of the rumors that are deafening us everywhere in this House... Would not the truth be much more..."
She had to stop since her sister had launched a second attack by jumping on the bed.
"I'll strangle you, you..." said Lizzie while trying to reach out toward her sister.
At this moment, her dress caught one of the sculpted portent of the bed and stopped her in her jump.
She lost her balance ad fall very unladylike on the floor.
There was a loud stomp and Lizzie stopped her movement abruptly to fall heavily on the ground.
And there she reminded motionless.
Georgiana's distress would have been uttered in the form of a loud cry if Kitty had put her hand on her friend's mouth.
"Don't let yourself be fooled by an ugly attempts at treachery," whispered she. "This is only one of these tricks lame old sisters use to catch nimble young ones. Let me demonstrate..."
She went to the table, took the water glass, climbed discreetly over the bed and poured a few drops of water over Lizzie's bosom.
The result was immediate and Lizzie's hand shot out to get Kitty who was already at the other end of the bed.
"Got you!" chuckled Kitty. "I'm not Jane! She would have bought it like the first time! I'm of a sterner stuff. You'll have to find something else to get to..."
The "something else" caught her in the face and robbed her of her balance. She fell loudly on the romp with the rest of the water splashing her face and clothes.
But since the cushion was –no doubt on it-- only the first part of the incoming attack she was up and behind an armchair before Lizzie was up and over the bed.
She was perhaps wet but she was also very happy.
It had been years since she had been able to get her elder sisters into a cushion fight. And this one was full of promises...
Ten minutes later, the room was full of feathers –one cushion had burst under Lizzie's attempt to smother her sister-- and the bed was occupied by three entangled, very happy and out of breath young ladies.
Lizzie let out a long sigh.
It had been marvelous to laugh, to prank and to forget everything.
To be, for a little moment, young and silly and free again.
"Thanks, Kitty... I needed it. I would have..."
"Don't speak of it, please. Nothing happened and it is a truth universally acknowledged that the perspective of marriage does strange things to young maids..."
Lizzie could not help but laugh.
Kitty had always had the knack to imitate aunt Philips. And that imitation was even better than usually.
"Thanks nevertheless. I was more and more sliding into mama's mirror image, hysterics and all..."
Kitty turned around and looked her sister into the eyes.
"She's much better than at home, Lizzie! There's really no comparison. She's no longer the anxious Matron who is scared by the future. With no aunt Philips or Lady Lucas to stir up her fears, I believe she's becoming quite normal. You should stop lashing at her. She's more unhappy each passing day..."
Lizzie couldn't help but accept her sister's judgment.
It had been really her and not her mother who had had hysteric strokes...
"I know I have been insufferable. I don't know what has caused it. I'm just unable not to lash at her at each and every occasion. It's perhaps all these grudges, real or imaginary, I have against her that I stored in me all these years. They want to burst out, there's nothing I can do to contain them. I'm sorry..."
"Her nerves were never imaginary, Lizzie. She was scared and lonely and forlorn. And the visit of the reverend Collins had done nothing to calm her terrors. Your refusal to marry him –to save us all as she thought about it-- has done strange things to her mind. But since Fitzwilliam proposed, she's no longer eaten alive by her fears. She's alive again and able to taste the pleasures of said life with renewed ardor. The only thing that still eats at her, is your refusal to forgive... It's very hard for her to see that you bear grudges against her. It could destroy her anew..."
Lizzie took a deep breath.
Indeed she was unable to forgive. And why was it so? Fitzwilliam had proposed even while knowing that her mother was insufferable. It was she who had refused! Her mother has perhaps been one of the reasons of Fitzwilliam's failed proposal but, in the end, it was only Elizabeth Bennet's prejudice that had trigger the first refusal.
"I'll speak with her..." said she after a long silence.
""But only if you find in you the strength to say her your love and your affection. Don't try for less. A single formal explanation will cure nothing. You need to speak but it won't be of any use if you still nurture your grudges against her... You must be able to forgive her."
"Is there something to forgive?"
"Of course there is! On both sides," said Kitty. "I've been much nearer to her than you and Jane, I know her better. She's ridden by the guilt not having been a good enough mother to you and Jane. That, in order to raise the youngest, she has neglected you."
She took a deep breath.
"And there's another thing you should know, Lizzie: she's afraid of you..."
"Afraid of me? Why on earth should she be afraid of me?"
"She believes you so much more intelligent than her. She's impressed by your mind and when she sees father's pride of what you were able to learn, she had always seen her own failures, her own silliness..."
She sighed.
"I love papa very much but you cannot imagine how it hurts when he speaks of having the silliest girls of all England. It hurts us but it hurts even more mama who knows that she is as silly as we are..."
She looked at Georgiana as if to call her as a witness.
"And there's something else, Lizzie. From time to time your are impressive and even upsetting with all that moral high ground you step on. You often look at us with the eyes of a pitiless judge who has already condemned us. Your rightfulness is rather disturbing..."
"My what?"
Kitty nodded at her.
"It's the right word, Lizzie. You look at the world as if you are above every one else. That's why mama will never make the first move towards you. She feels unworthy! The only people whose opinion you care for are papa and Jane."
She laughed at he sister.
"Can we consider that a Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy has, a few hours ago, joined this exalted pair?"
She moved towards the bed's edge.
"If not days, than surely nights? Am I wrong?"
She dodged with grace the cushion and jumped toward the door just as a second cushion plumped against an armchair.
She was out of the room before a third one bumped against the closing door.
A second later her head reappeared.
"Don't forget to straighten your bed, or rumors will sprout that he joins you even in the morning..."
Lizzie's slipper missed her by a mere inch! But it did miss her.
Her fading laugh was covered by Lizzie's and Georgiana's.
Next chapter: London Business