Natarle's Apartment

June 10th

Natarle sighed softly as she woke up, feeling her lover's strong arms tighten unconsciously around her as she shifted. She smiled wryly at this, turning her head to see his face buried in the pillow, his hair messy and covering his emerald eyes. She gently smoothed back his hair, kissing the tip of his nose before slowly sliding out his arms and across the room. She changed clothes quickly, escaping before he could wake up.

She didn't even bother with breakfast, just slid on her shoes and into her jacket before fleeing the apartment, taking the stairs two at a time and pretty much jumping the last few at the door. Her cab was already waiting outside, she'd basically arranged the whole thing so it wouldn't be so much of a hassle to call every single morning and afternoon. She wasn't the least surprised about her lover's choice of rides, he'd gotten himself a motorbike, claiming that he'd had it already in Copernicus. He seemed to love the thing so much she didn't have the heart to call his bluff, and she was sure he was bluffing. She hadn't told him yet, but she'd never get on it herself if she had the chance, which was why she used the cab.

As was her habit, she'd gotten to work fairly early, long before most of the others would have arrived. She wasn't surprised to see her redheaded boss there though, she was one of the hardest workers she knew. She really was the first to arrive and the last to leave, she didn't let anybody else lock up. The two women nodded once at each other, the mornings were normally the busiest times, they could chat later.

She got into her office and shook her head at the amount of paperwork waiting there for her. 'Of course there's more work on there already.' She found an odd comfort in seeing the piles of papers for her to sign, it was so easy to lose track of time when there was so much to do. And the last thing she wanted right now was to have free time to think.

She sat behind her desk, took a moment to get comfortable, and picked up her favourite pen before starting to work. It worked for a little while, her mind stayed focussed, trained to not wander as she signed sheet after sheet, taking care to read every single word twice before she put her alias' signature at the bottom.

But the blissful occupation only lasted her so long, and the moment her hand paused, her thoughts would start to spin. She sighed and placed her pen down, glancing with a sigh at her clock. It was already noon, she'd been working for almost five hours straight without pausing. Glancing at her desk, she was amused to see that she was almost out of paperwork already. She was sure she'd have more the moment she was back from her break, it just always happened that way.

She rubbed her temples casually, trying to get the ringing ache in the back of her head to cease. She knew exactly why she'd been getting more and more headaches, the reason why her stomach tightened the moment she reached work and refused to settle until she was home and in bed... And she loathed herself for it.

'I've been going out of my way to avoid them... I'm so selfish...' She sighed and covered her eyes with her hand, blocking out the light and trying to do the same with her dark thoughts. But it was impossible, and she knew the second she was near her friend again the shot of envy would twist her stomach and make her wince.

'I'm... I am happy for her.' She told herself almost stubbornly, grumbling low in her throat when the envy pierced her through again. She felt horrible. It had been pretty much stalking her emotions, giving a bitter tinge to everything she thought about, making her dread the time she had to spend at work.

She got out of her chair, limbs feeling stiff from the length of time she'd been sitting. She stretched once, fetching an apple from her bag and wandering out of her little office. Already she felt the instinctive pull towards the hanger, the place where she normally would eat lunch and visit with her friends, but she tugged herself away from there. She wandered upstairs, to the viewing deck. No one normally went up there unless there was another training match scheduled, but she'd seen the papers, nothing of the sort for another week. She was free to be alone.

She sat by herself in the corner, staring out at the field with a weary expression, turning the fruit in her hands absently. She didn't feel that hungry all of a sudden, and she could hear her friend's voice in her ear, scolding her soundly for not caring too much about her health.

Pulling her knees to her chest, she listened to the voices coming from below, feeling both glad and annoyed that the floor was thin enough for the loud voices of the workers below to echo up to the top floors. She set her apple on the floor, listening, trying to avoid the thoughts that kept spinning in her head.

It had all started the night of the wedding, though she had tried to ignore what had happened as best she could. She'd been dancing with Justin, at his insistence, and it had been great for awhile. She was so happy for her friends, she'd never seen such a bright smile on the brunette's face before. Then he'd leaned close and whispered in her ear...

"When do you think it'll be our turn?"

She'd been stunned into silence, cheeks glowing crimson and eyes so wide she was sure they'd simply fall out. He'd chalked it up to embarrassment and laughed, kissing her cheek before spinning her into another slow dance. He had forgotten about it but she hadn't been able to, it'd been all she could think about.

At first the thoughts were pleasant, a little surprised perhaps, but relatively pleasant. She could try to imagine it, and smile to herself at the thought. But those happy thoughts quickly changed, to a fear of the unknown, to a confusion. She'd never given any thought to a relationship, to this relationship. It was new to her, as everything else was now.

It was strange, to imagine herself marrying him. She'd never had a reason to imagine her future with anyone else, never had a reason to think about her 'happiness', she'd lived as a soldier for far too long to ever even put any stock in having a life after war. War was a thing of the past now though, she had her life to think about, and it was hard to imagine, not to mention embarrassing. She never knew what to say to him anymore, so she'd done what she'd always done, ran.

Her friends had changed her well, she could have ignored it a year or two ago, but now... She felt. She'd let herself warm up considerably to life in general, and it'd changed so much about her. Too much perhaps. She'd taken to avoiding him, too confused and mixed up to know what to say, or to explain what affect his words had on her.

Then Murrue had come home early, with very good news. At first she could only think about how absurdly happy she was for her friend, if anyone deserved to have their happiest wishes come true it was certainly her former captain. Then it had happened, slowly, but fiercely, she'd started to become jealous. She was confused with her reaction, not sure about what it meant but she'd taken a quick review and found out why, and the answer only scared her.

She wanted what her friend had. Wanted it so desperately she was astounded by the level of jealousy she'd felt, and so she started avoiding Murrue too. 'I don't want to admit what I feel about her... I feel horrible for feeling envious of her... It's not fair of me. She deserves so much better...'

She looked at her watch, a little astounded by how much time had passed since she'd left her office. With a sigh, she pushed herself to her feet, noticing she hadn't even taken a bite of her apple. She shook her head and pocketed the fruit, walking back to her office to finish her work.

She wandered in and idly flopped down into her seat, placing her uneaten fruit on her desk before picking up her pen and starting all over again. She couldn't keep her mind on her work, wandering over to her blasphemous thoughts every so often. It took an inward kick to focus again, but even then she couldn't take an interest in what she was doing.

She groaned a curse and rubbed her forehead again, debating if taking a few painkillers would get rid of the headache. Just as she decided to chance it, a soft knock on the door captured her attention and she was startled to see her friend leaning on the door, a little smile on her face. "Oh. Hello."

"Hi. You missed out on lunch today, are you okay?" Murrue asked worriedly, tilting her head a bit to the side as she took in her friend's appearance. She looked horrible, dark circles under her eyes and she seemed paler than usual. She noted the apple on her desk that was untouched and frowned a little, wondering if the woman had gotten ill.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Natarle winced at the guilt that flared in her chest at the blatant lie, but she forced out the words anyway, making herself look away from her friend and back to her work. She didn't want to see the worry that she knew was in those kind marigold eyes, she didn't deserve it. "Just busy, that's all."

"Oh.. I see..." Murrue frowned a bit at the abrupt answer, and she knew just from looking at the raven-haired woman that she was lying through her teeth. Part of her wanted to demand the truth but she couldn't get out the words. She'd noticed Natarle's odd behaviour, it was impossible to miss. She'd been avoiding her, and Murrue couldn't help but feel hurt by the actions. 'Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt her feelings...? Why won't she tell me what's going on?'

"Hey, uh... I'm really busy right now, can we talk some other time?" Natarle murmured after a moment of awkward silence, gesturing to the piles of papers that were already finished, trying to pass them off as work that she still had yet to do. She was certain that Murrue could see through the lie, but she didn't look up to let her dissect her expression.

"Yeah... Sure..." Murrue finally answered, turning her head away so she couldn't see her friend's expression. She pocketed her hands awkwardly and walked away, trying hard to ignore the prickling sensation at the corners of her eyes. She sighed shakily as she walked down the halls, thoughts mixed with hurt and sadness. 'What did I do?'

She couldn't focus on her work, her mind kept jumping back to the expression on her friend's face and the odd way she'd handled herself. It was as though she kept trying to brush her off and hurry her away, not wanting to be in the same room. The hurt stung, a lot more than she anticipated it would, it was very surprising.

She made up her mind almost immediately and left her post when the work got slim, wandering over to the pilot's area where she knew Justin was. She wasn't disappointed, finding him idly lounging by the mobile units, seeming to be involved in his clipboard. He saw her from the corner of his eye and immediately placed the board down and hurried over to her with an expression of relief. "Hey!"

"You're really a lazy guy." Murrue teased at his immediate delight to having a distraction from work, kissing him on the cheek regardless. He smiled that devil-may-care grin of his and ruffled her hair playfully before leaning back on a crate and watching her curiously, his gaze enough to ask what he wanted. "Yes, I do want to talk to you."

"What about?" Justin asked casually, sensing the unease in her tone and the discomforting way she was holding herself. He knew her well enough now to see when she was upset, and the brunette woman was distressed by something major. "Something wrong?"

"Well, I... I wanted to ask about Natarle." Murrue finally murmured, looking somewhat embarrassed by Justin's expression.

Justin's face fell almost immediately, and he looked away with a frown on his face, hands curling a little before falling limply at his sides. After a quick shake of his head, he answered her somewhat bitterly, "I'd like to know about her too, to be honest... She hasn't looked at me right since you came back from your honeymoon. I think she's starting to think twice about me staying here."

Murrue blinked several times, alarmed by the abrupt change in his voice. The pain there was easy to see, and the way he glanced away from her made her wonder what he was thinking. Her own mind spun unhappily, filled with thoughts of how Natarle had changed after Justin had arrived. 'She wouldn't want him to go... She really does care about him. I know that much.' She murmured weakly, wanting to kick herself for feeling so pathetic, "I... I don't know. She's been avoiding me, I can't help but feel like I offended her or something... I just want to know what I did wrong so I can fix it."

"Same here Murrue." Justin muttered with a long sigh, running his hand through his already messy hair, looking at the floor unhappily. She didn't see him often with an angry expression, the man was too laidback for that, he certainly was annoyed now, but with himself. He felt the need to explain himself, when he looked at how sad the pregnant woman seemed, and he reached out to tenderly ruffle her hair before sighing again, "I don't know what's gotten into her. She makes excuses to be alone all the time, she leaves early for work and goes to bed early... She won't look at me the same anymore."

"Justin... I'm sure she still loves you."

"I can't be sure of that when she won't even meet my eyes, Murrue." Justin murmured after a long moment, emerald eyes full of anguish as he slumped to a sitting position, burying his head in his hands. His voice was muffled, but Murrue's ears were keen enough to hear the way his voice was thickened, "I really think she doesn't want me around anymore."

Murrue sat down by him, unsure of what to say to ease his anxiety. She was surprised to see this behaviour from the normally put-together man, and she realized with a jolt that despite all of his bravado he honestly was just as insecure as Natarle was. She shook her head once and tried to smother the thought before she laughed at the notion, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and giving him a gentle squeeze.

'He really is worried... He's just like me, lets everything get bottled up and won't say anything about it until it's too much to stand... He loves her though, and now...' She shuddered and hugged him again, sighing a little at the thought of the violet eyed woman they both loved, albeit in different ways. 'What's wrong with her?'

She'd gone back to her station at the right time and worked the rest of the day in silence, earning worried glances from her co-workers. She liked to socialize, even during work, enjoying her task and chattering absently with her friends, just to make the day more enjoyable. She couldn't make herself do that today, her thoughts too muddled with worry and sadness.

When the whistle rang to sound the end of their shift, she noticed how Justin stayed at his post, obviously having decided to catch another few hours before he went home. She winced at the sight of his stone face, and forced herself to look away before her throat tightened.

She'd been giving her plan quite a lot of thought during her work, and now she was fairly certain that if she didn't go through with it, she wouldn't sleep right for quite awhile. Glancing down at her watch, she took note of the lateness of the hour and had no doubt that Natarle would be on the way home. Erica wasn't one for letting any of her workers go beyond their hours if she knew they needed rest.

She caught sight of her husband at the entrance to the parking lot, and almost immediately her heart felt lighter at the sight of his smile. He opened his arms for her, an invitation she couldn't resist, and she basically pounced on him, giggling girlishly when his lips brushed against the top of her head.

"Hey you." Mu laughed at the sound of her laughter, lifting her a few inches off the ground when he wrapped her into a bear hug. She murmured happily and nuzzled into his neck with a sigh of contentment, earning another kiss to the crown of her hair. He set her down on her feet, arms still wound around her waist and asked, "How was work?"

"Not so good today." Murrue answered sadly, feeling Mu immediately tense a little in reply. He pulled away to look at her, azure eyes concerned and lips set worriedly, his arms becoming tighter instinctively around her waist. She stood on tiptoe to brush a kiss to his lips, gently adding, "Don't worry, I think I can settle it all out... But I'll need to be late going home tonight."

"Sorry, you've lost me." Mu laughed weakly, looking fairly confused by the way her voice changed and the light in her eyes hardened, recognizing the expression that had made her into the amazing captain he'd fallen in love with. He tousled her hair lovingly, one arm still around her waist, and smiled crookedly at her. "You gonna tell me what's up or shall I stay up all night wondering?"

"That's a guilt trip you're trying to send me on." Murrue accused with a soft laugh, kissing his cheek at the petulant tone in his voice, knowing he was just teasing. She idly fingered his collar, straightening it absently, knowing he hated the thing, explaining quietly, "It's Natarle... She's worrying me, and Justin has no idea what's wrong with her... I'm going to talk to her tonight and see what I can straighten out. I don't like seeing my friends so wound up like this."

"Ah." Mu had noticed the change in the woman's behaviour too, and not a good one either. He hadn't said very much about it, knowing that it would either be Murrue or his buddy to speak up and do something. As well as he knew her now, he had to admit the other two were the ones who had brought out the best in her. 'I'm sure they'll do it again too.' It made him all the more proud of his wife, her kindhearted nature made her the perfect friend, and most loving person he knew in the world. "Alright then. Shall I wait up for you?"

"You don't mind me going?" Murrue asked quizzically, tilting her head a little at the sight of his broad smile, recognizing the gleam in his eyes. She blushed and looked at the ground, knowing him well enough to see what he was thinking about. She hid her face in the front of his shirt, voice muffled when she added, "Dog."

"I love you." Mu reminded her sweetly, kissing the top of her head again, rubbing a gentle circle between her shoulder blades. He heard her murmur in kind and laughed softly, tilting her head up so she could see him, and kissed the tip of her nose with a smile. "I'm proud of you. You've done a hell of a lot for her, you're an amazing friend."

"Shut up." Murrue mumbled awkwardly, giving him a gentle whack to the shoulder, flushing red. She looked down at her feet but his warm laugh only made her smile, and he hugged her again. She sighed softly into his shoulder, still amazed that all it took was a hug and gentle whisper to soothe her spirits and make her feel so much better about everything. 'It's always been like this though... He always made it easy to unburden myself and feel better... Maybe it's his cheery attitude... Or the fact that I'm hopelessly head over heels with him... But whatever it is... I'm glad...'

"Feel better?" Mu asked gently, drawing away enough so he could study her expression with a thoughtful eye, a little bit of a smile warming his face. He had known from the moment she looked at him that something was bothering her, and he'd hoped to get a smile on her face by any means possible. It was fairly easy to do it normally, she let him pamper her to the point where she finally felt soothed, otherwise it only took a kiss and a squeeze.

Murrue laughed softly and nestled closer into his arms, knowing that he had seen her sadness instantly. There was no fooling her husband, despite how dense he could seem, he really was a very intuitive person. 'Or maybe it'd just the fact that he can read me like an open book...' "Yeah Mu... I feel much better..."

"Good." Mu kissed the crown of her hair one last time, giving her another squeeze before he let her go. He idly straightened her rumpled hair for her, letting his fingertips brush against her warm cheek. She leaned into the caress, a happy smile spreading like honey across her lips, marigold eyes closed. 'It's too easy to make her smile these days... She has so much in her life that she enjoys now...' He took her hand in his and gently led it down to the small but growing swell on her stomach.

Murrue's eyes fluttered open at the feel of his hand covering hers as it lay on her stomach, and then her smile grew almost instantly when she realized what he was doing. She placed her other hand on top of his, the familiar rush of maternal joy surging through her like a warm fire after a blizzard. "Thank you."

"No worries, babe." Mu kissed her gently before hugging her one last time and pointing her in the direction of the car. "I'll drop you off if you'd like."

"No, it's okay. I'll take a cab, I'll be home in an hour or so, okay?" Murrue stood on tiptoe to give him a parting kiss, then hurried off in the direction of the streets, towards the city. She turned once to see him standing there and watching, smiled and gave him a wave before running fill tilt back into Morgenroete. Now it was time to deal with her friend, and hopefully get some answers.

AN

Lol, I couldn't help but end it there... But anywhosit... Yeah, the chapter just sucks, lol, I had a load of issues writing lately, I think it's a mild case of writer's block. Let's hope it clears up soon... I couldn't find the proper song to end it so I left it songless today, but maybe I'll find a better one for the next chapter... Ah yes, I wanna explain a bit bout Nat... I feel that she's the type who would worry about the things she feels, and since she never really had a reason to think of the future, she probably would have never paid any mind to it. But now that she has Justin... It puts her in a confusing situation, I'm fairly sure that she has no idea wtf is going on and how to deal, it would be weird for her... Anyway, review as always, love ya lots!

Sky