Natarle's Apartment

June 10th

Natarle turned up her radio, curling up into the corner of the couch with a soft sigh, letting the beats drown out all other sounds in the apartment and hopefully her thoughts as well. She felt sick to her stomach, and sighed unhappily, winding her arms around her knees as she stared into the depths of her black coffee.

A gentle knock on the door startled her out of her reverie, and she jumped to her feet and hurried over, half expecting to see her lover there without his key, even though she hadn't locked the door. She was startled however to see her brunette friend standing there, no sign of a smile on her face, marigold eyes completely serious. 'Here we go...'

Natarle simply opened the door further and stepped aside, as if knowing what was going to happen anyway, feeling as though her stomach had dropped ten feet through the floor. Murrue let herself in, though her expression was also somewhat grim. She didn't sit however, folding her arms and taking a deep breath as she thought over what she wanted to say.

"What's going on with you Natarle?" Murrue finally asked, her voice weaker than she intended it to be, none of the accusation she wanted to put into it actually coming out with her tone. She had to take a deep breath to steady herself, noticing how her words seemed to lash out and strike the violet-eyed woman, who winced and looked away. "What's wrong? And don't tell me nothing, I know every single excuse in the book, give me the truth."

"I'm scared." Natarle replied simply, though her voice proved that it was anything but easy to answer. She collapsed into the couch, hugging her own shivering body, a single tear making its way casually down her cheek. She closed her eyes and whispered, "I'm scared Murrue."

"Of what?" Murrue felt her new maternal instincts take control and she sat beside her shivering friend, winding her arm gently around her shoulders to bring her closer. "Natarle, tell me."

"Of myself."

"Nat..." Murrue sighed gently, hugging her friend once, using the nickname that had pretty much caught on since they'd heard Justin using it. Erica had started the trend, and now Natarle basically sighed grumpily every time someone used it. But Murrue used it kindly, a shared thing between the two women. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"I... I'm jealous of you. I know I shouldn't be... But I can't help it." Natarle whispered as though she was confessing to a murder, staring into the dark cup of her coffee, hands wringing together and body still shivering a little as she spoke. "I didn't even know it was something I'd want, I never had a reason to think about having a family or any of those things... It's really strange..."

"It's not that strange." Murrue sighed with fond exasperation, feeling rather relieved to be down to the heart of what was troubling her friend. She felt almost giddy, glad to see that it was nothing she had done, well, purposely, to injure her friend's feelings. She finally understood, and her feelings of guilt and sadness were gone, replaced with affection and a little exasperation. She wrapped her arm a little tighter around her shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Everyone gets jealous once in a while, it's a normal thing to want what you don't have. And there's no reason for you to beat yourself up for feeling that, alright?"

"But–"

"Yes you went back into that little shell of yours, and I'm not supporting that, but it's normal." Murrue cut her off sternly, though she kept her voice tender as she watched Natarle blush and then hang her head like an abashed child. She couldn't stop a soft laugh, she still wasn't completely adjusted to the new woman Natarle had become, but she liked the change. She knew that it wouldn't come completely overnight either, which only made her the more proud that the dark-haired woman was admitting her weaknesses. "Stop beating yourself up, okay? I don't want to send you to the corner."

"You act like my mother." Natarle finally muttered after a moment of embarrassed silence, trying to force out a growl but it fell flat, her voice trembling a little at the end, violet eyes narrowed, which in itself was a feat considering how hard it was to keep her lips from turning upwards into a smile.

"I know." Murrue answered with a hint of perverse pride, smiling broadly to herself as Natarle uttered a cuss and ducked her head down, earning herself another gentle hug. The two women were silent for a moment, lost in their own trains of thought for a little while.

Natarle was entirely surprised, and still not over the bit of guilt that continued to swirl in her chest. She'd spent a great deal of her life, even her childhood, locking away her emotions so she could be a good soldier. It was how she had learned, how she'd been raised.

Emotions give way to pity. Pity gives way to weakness. Weakness to failure. Failure to death.

The words her parents had drilled into her brain came back to her now, and she found herself wanting to embrace the familiar, but with all of her mental being, she shoved it away. It took a lot to push that out of her mind, out of her soul, but as she did, she felt lighter. Happier.

Murrue felt smug. She had no idea if it were the hormones doing it, or just because she was proud of what she saw, but she felt it anyway. She felt a surge of pride for the former lieutenant, she knew that the change wasn't easy, and was probably terrifying, but the woman was trying her hardest anyway, and even though she kept tripping... She was making the effort. That alone made her feel more for the woman, made her want to protect her and watch out for her. She laughed softly at her own train of thought. 'That's the pregnancy kicking in for sure...'

The idea set off the lightbulb in her brain, and she regarded the woman with new eyes, and the a devilish glint appeared on her face as the realization hit her head on. She wanted a family, just like she herself had. Murrue felt like her chest would pop it felt so full, and she had to fight to not burst out laughing in delight. 'She is changing! Damn, Erica will be plenty pleased with this.'

Trying her hardest to keep her voice level, and to not let the glee and enjoyment she was getting out this, she asked, "You want to marry Justin, huh?"

It didn't work.

Natarle glared at her and got to her feet, though there was no anger at all in her expression, just extreme embarrassment. She paced across the floor, red in the face and violet eyes trained on the carpet, flitting back to her bookshelf before in the direction of her room. She wouldn't deny it, she was no good at lying now, not with Murrue. The woman had the annoying ability to read her just like her lover did.

The thought was... Pleasing, in an oddly terrifying way. She found herself glowing red while letting her imagination run away with her, and scuffed her toe on the floor. She'd never had to think about it before, and now that she found herself in the position to have a future... It was terrifying, exhilarating, and worrisome all at once.

"Have you talked about it with him?"

"Once." Natarle answered almost vaguely, mind still spinning with the thought of going home one day to little dark-haired children and Justin kissing her on the cheek over the giggles of the little ones. She blushed at the idea but an odd smile crossed her face for a moment and she had to shake her head to snap out of the illusion. She answered her friend's question then, "At your wedding... He asked when it would be our turn. I didn't know how to react, I got flustered and scared..."

"And you stuck your head back in your shell all over again." Murrue observed with a fond sigh, shaking her head and patting the space beside her, an open invitation to come back. Natarle sat down, seeming to be exhausted with just speaking, and hugged herself in an effort to stop shivering. "Justin's worried about you. You need to talk to him and tell him what's going on."

Natarle was silent for a long moment, staring at the ground instead of at her friend, thinking. She was fairly sure she knew what was happening despite the fact that she had been unable to look her lover in the eyes since her friend had come back from her honeymoon. She winced at the thought. "I... I will."

"Good. Once you talk to him I think everything will sort itself out..." Murrue sighed with relief, glad to see that most of the problem was pretty well sorted. She nearly jumped however when she saw the tears in her friend's eyes and immediately grew worried again. "Natarle, what's wrong?"

"I don't want to be like this. I'm causing too much trouble." Natarle whispered brokenly, closing her eyes against the flood of tears that was threatening to overcome her, hugging herself even tighter to stop her shivering. "I don't want to push everyone away because I don't know how to handle my own emotions!"

"Natarle, it's normal. You're changing already!" Murrue exclaimed, taking her friend's hands in her own and forcing her to look up. She groaned mentally in frustration, but fought to keep her voice level as she kept speaking gently to her upset friend, "It doesn't happen overnight. And I know you're frustrated for letting this happen, but you're making an effort to get better at it. It's hard for you, we all know that, but as long as you're trying to change, that's the point. You're trying to be different. That's respectable."

"Respectable?" Natarle raised both eyebrows, and despite the tears that were making their way down her cheeks, she managed to look disbelieving and somewhat sardonic. She gestured idly to herself, brushing away the moisture on her face with the back of her sleeve, "Look at me Murrue, what about me is respectable?"

"You have your own home, a good job, plenty of friends who love you, and a man who left his job in the military and his home so he could be with you. That's pretty damn respectable." Murrue answered with a warm smile, watching the surprise flicker in Natarle's violet eyes, before she smiled hesitantly to herself and looked down at her entwined fingers. "A lot of women would kill for less. You're doing just fine. Stop stressing out of this, you'll be fine, but you need some patience with yourself. This isn't as easy as being a soldier, and we all understand that. You need time to adjust, just like everybody else would."

"I hate it when you're right."

"You love me."

"I only put up with you because you're the only one with the patience to handle me."

"I know."

Murrue's Home

Later that Night

Murrue giggled as she curled up next her husband, idly fingering his collar as his hands roamed down her sides, resting on her stomach and gently rubbing small circles into the bump. He kissed the tip of her nose with a laugh that shook his entire chest, then lay back in the bed with a happy sigh that echoed her contented purr.

"We're going to have to redecorate the spare room for the baby..." Murrue mused out loud, watching Mu's nose wrinkle in thought, and she couldn't hide a smile at how adorable his face looked when he was deep in thought. Propping herself up on her elbows, she kissed the forked scar that shot across his nose and smiled when he suddenly grinned crookedly at her, cuddling up closer into his welcoming arms.

"I can get started on that tomorrow, it's my day off anyway." Mu replied with another quiet chuckle, still smiling at the thought of the room that would soon be the home for the new little girl or boy. He no longer felt the nerves that had haunted him for most of the first week of finding out, it was replaced by a deep-rooted contentedness that filled his entire body from head to toe. He honestly couldn't wait to hold the little one in his arms, just as he was sure Murrue was excited to have the same thing.

"We'll need to think up a list of names too." Murrue added to her unseen list of things they still had to do, wiggling her toes and peeking up over the bump to see them. She giggled suddenly, just realizing that eventually she wouldn't be able to see them anymore, and had to hide her face in her husband's shoulder to smother her laughter.

"What?" Mu was confused by her abrupt change in mood, and he had to tell himself that he would need to get used to it. Erica had given him the entire rundown on the changes in a woman during pregnancy, which was both very awkward and very hilarious at the same time. He hadn't asked, she basically had given him an impromptu lesson, which he found helpful and embarrassing at the exact same time. He was glad that the woman didn't linger on details and shot from the hip, it helped quite a bit.

"I'm not going to see my feet for five months." Murrue was still laughing even as she spoke, knowing that some women would moan over that fact, but she couldn't stop giggling. She knew that her hormones were probably already screwed up and would only get worse, but she couldn't stop but go along with the wild rushes that she felt.

"Ah." Mu didn't even pretend to know why she found it funny, he just shook his head and nuzzled into her neck, giving her a kiss on the cheek before hugging her close. If she found it amusing then he wouldn't argue, it was probably better to just go along with what she said. Gently, to get her back on topic, he mused, "Names, huh? Why don't we start now?"

"Mmm." Murrue purred her approval, closing her eyes and cuddling herself deeper into the warmth of his embrace. He tossed a light blanket over themselves, and she smiled hugely into his chest, the rhythmic stroking between her shoulder blades lulling her into a familiar peaceful state. "You start."

"Does it matter if it's a boy's name or a girl's?" Mu questioned but she shook her head, and he smiled to himself, running over a few names he'd already been thinking of for awhile. She didn't seem to mind the long pause, busying herself with tracing the scars on his arms absently, knowing how much he liked that. Sure enough, she was rewarded with a chaste kiss, and waited patiently for him to start. "Hmm... How about Peter?"

Murrue crinkled her nose in distaste, no even knowing why she did it as one hand skipped down her torso to rest almost protectively over her unborn child. "No, I don't think so."

"Your turn then." Mu laughed at her reaction, it was amusing to see how quickly she'd shot it down. He was sure she had quite a list of beautiful baby names already, and he was quite eager to hear them. Kissing the top of her head, he settled closer to her and waited patiently for her to root one out.

"Mm... I kinda like Oliver. What do you think?" Murrue peeked up at him, and she saw the wicked grin of amusement flash across his face and immediately knew that it wouldn't do for some reason. She swiftly poked him in the ribs and looked stern, demanding, "C'mon then, why not?"

"Oliver? It just doesn't sound like a name for a kid these days." Mu laughed, thinking of the days he had sat in English class when he was boy and read books about characters who lived in the "ancient" days, long before the wars they themselves had fought. He had to fight a smile at the mere idea that maybe fifty years from now there would be works of art about soldiers who had fought in this war. It was quite an idea. "How about Jennifer?"

Murrue's expression was enough of an answer, and he was nearly laughing all over again. She'd narrowed her eyes and wrinkled her nose all over again, marigold eyes glistening with dislike. He had to hug her and bury his face in her hair to stop himself from chuckling. She didn't really understand her reactions herself, she knew they were all normal sounding names and nothing was really bad about them... They just sounded wrong.

"Alright... Tyler?" Mu suggested, pulling the name randomly out of thin air. He was in the mind to go find a phonebook, he was pretty sure it would have loads of names to choose from.

"No."

Mu tried again. "Halley?"

"Mm... Nope." Murrue shot it down quickly, despite the little flicker of interest. It wasn't right, for whatever reason.

"Bobby?"

"Too generic."

"Amy?" Mu was grasping at straws, it was a lot harder then it looked.

"Nn..." Murrue took a moment to consider but was quick to cast it aside. "Pretty, but I'm not sure. Next."

"Jason?"

"No."

"Kujo." Mu was grinning from ear to ear when he plucked that one out of the air, trying his best not to laugh.

She punched him in the shoulder, lightly, but enough to let him know he was toeing the line. "Be bloody serious."

"Sorry, couldn't help it." Mu replied with a smile, taking her hand and pressing a kiss along her knuckles before thinking deeply again. He was surprised by how difficult it was to pick out names, he was understanding almost why she shot them down so quickly. It didn't seem right somehow. "Hn..." He stroked his chin thoughtfully, azure eyes trained on the ceiling. "How about Greg?"

"Ew, no!" Murrue jumped out of her skin at the familiar name, shaking her head hurriedly from side to side. She knew her reaction startled her husband and quickly quieted to avoid having to explain what happened, but he wouldn't let her off the hook so easily.

"Why so jumpy? What's wrong with Greg?" Mu poked her sides gently, peeking around to see the expression on her face but she turned to give him her back, shoulders slumped and hair hiding her face. He laughed and continued to try to guess what she was thinking, knowing that the name must have brought back some memory that she didn't want him to know about. That alone gave him incentive to dig deeper. "C'mon Murrue, do I have to tickle you?"

She squeaked something unintelligible and hid her face in her hands, not giving him time to get a good look at her expression when she spoke. Then she promptly hauled up the sheets and ducked under them to hide. "Night!"

"Ah, ah, ah, you're not running off that easily!" Mu announced cheerfully, ducking under the covers too to capture his fleeing wife. She squealed and wriggled around but he was too quick, winding his arms around her waist and gently pulling her back into his lap, trapping her there without much effort. "C'mon now, spill!"

Her voice still oddly high-pitched and embarrassed, she hid her face in his chest and told the truth, glad that he couldn't see how brilliant crimson she was glowing. "Greg is the name of the boy who took me to my highschool prom." There was an odd silence after that, and she peeked up at him to see his expression, worried.

Mu had a hard time controlling the dislike he wanted to show, but she knew him too well for him to bottle any emotion. He scowled outright. The thought of anyone else with her, even in the past, was something he didn't want to think of. She was his, and his alone. He knew it was a selfish thought but he didn't really care. He pulled her closer into his lap and growled against her ear, "You're mine."

"Yes I know that." Murrue had a hard time not giggling when she heard the outrage in his voice, and she cuddled into his arms with a happy sigh. He was the jealous type, she knew that, and she had to admit that after looking at herself too, she was also. She didn't like the thought of him with anyone but herself either, and she was smug to know that she was all his too. It was rather attractive she thought. "And you're all mine."

"Damn straight I am." Mu growled again, leaning her back into the bed, mouth hungrily roaming her collarbone. She sighed in pleasure, closing her eyes and relaxing into his arms as he made easy work of her shirt, tossing it aside casually. His hands travelled down her sides, easily finding what he wanted and she gasped softly at the sudden contact as his fingers slipped into her underwear.

"Oh! Oh..." Her gasp melted into a long moan as her eyes shut involuntarily, and she clutched the sheets underneath to steady herself as he laughed huskily into her neck at her response. She tried to suck in a full breath of air but she couldn't do it, gasping a second time when his free hand slid around to her back, pulling her fluff against his own body.

"Do you like that?" Mu asked her in a low growl, brushing his lips casually bath and forth across her neck, feeling her strain in response to the pleasurable torture, squirming restlessly.

"God..." Murrue moaned softly, fighting to keep her voice down despite the fact that they were completely alone. Her toes curled with the effort to restrain herself but it was getting more frustrating the longer she fought. His voice was like an anchor to hold her to reality, but the moment he began to whisper what he wanted to do to her, she lost control.

"Gotcha." Mu whispered against her ear as she cried out and stiffened suddenly against him as she gave in. She relaxed with a low groan after a long moment, breathing ragged in his ear as her hands slowly loosened from the sheets and hooked around his shoulders to hold him closer.

"You really need... to stop doing that..." Murrue attempted to scold him between pants, marigold eyes half closed and dazed with pleasure that she was still trying to reason out. Her grip on her husband was tight, not willing to let him go just yet. She wasn't sure where she would end up at the moment, he had that affect on her, still.

She couldn't help but wonder if things would still be like this in a few more years, but she couldn't find herself really bothered with the idea. What was the harm if this was how things turned out? Finally getting her senses back, she wound her leg around his, smiling devilishly as she rolled him onto his back, kissing him fiercely before he could make a sound.

It didn't take long for the surprise to fade, and his hands wound themselves in her hair as the kiss picked up heat. They broke for a shallow gasp of air, and Mu muttered against her lips, "Is it... Okay...?"

"Just be gentle." Murrue answered softly, smiling warmly into his concerned eyes. She hugged him closer, brushing her fingertips across his bare chest and tracing the outlines of the old wounds he had received from previous battles. Hers. He was all hers.

That suited her just fine.

AN

Hehe. XD

Okay, lol. The whole Natarle/Murrue situation, I will tell you now, I had experience to help me write it, and I tried to make it as realistic as possible. Not sure if I did a good job. Props to my sis for the "turtle" metaphor, cause she would, lol. What else, oh yeah, baby names XD, that was the best. I had so much fun with that. Stay tuned for what I got rolled up my sleeves next!

(God this thing will never end.)

Sky