"YEAH, WELL YOU CAN GO TO HELL TOO! A LITTLE BUDWEISER ISN'T GOING TO KILL YOUR KID! BESIDES, HE THREW UP ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM! YEAH, I KNOW! WHATEVER!" Mrs. Davis slammed her front door closed after screaming at the last of the party guest's parents. She was now going to court, being sued by every parent of Andy's friends that had attended the party.
"Mommy?" Andy asked from the middle of the staircase, gaping at his mother.
"What is it?"
"Are you in trouble?"
"OF COURSE I'M IN TROUBLE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! YOU JUST HAD TO REPLACE THE SODA WITH BEER, DIDN'T YOU!" Mrs. Davis roared ferociously.
"But I didn't do it!" Andy cried.
"OH YEAH? THEN WHO DID? DID YOUR TOYS JUST GET UP AND WALK AROUND AND REPLACE THE SODA WITH BEER!!!!"
"I don't know!!"
"Just go to your room. We will talk about this after I scream 'GO TO HELL!!' to the incoming phone calls I'll receive later."
Andy began weeping and ran up to his room, dramatically dropping himself onto his bed sheets.
"What's eating him?" Mr. Potatohead asked, scratching his head.
"Him and his mom probably got in a fight," Woody said, nodding.
"CAN YOU GUYS SHUT THE HELL UP, I'M TRYING TO TAKE A CRAP IN PEACE!!" Rex screamed. Miraculously, Andy didn't hear a thing. He was too busy sobbing into his pillow.
"YES!!" Mrs. Davis suddenly screamed from downstairs and bolted up the stairs and barged into Andy's room.
"What?" Andy sat up, eyes red.
"OUR NEIGHBORS ARE MOVING, THEIR HOUSE GOT SOLD!!"
"REALLY?" Andy's face lit up. Both mother and son proceeded to strip and disco naked.
Woody grinned. "I like this dance."
"You only like it cause Andy's naked," Mr. Potatohead pointed out.
"Whatevs!" Woody giggled.
"Never again!" Mr. Potatohead gagged.
"I wonder who our new neighbors are going to be?" Bo Peep wondered out loud.
"Hopefully not a crazy cat lady..." Rachel sighed. The toys all agreed.
"When are they moving?" Andy asked.
"Right now," Mrs. Davis cried happily.
"Wow, that was fast!" Mr. Potatohead comment. All the toys climbed up to the window and watched as Mrs. Davis and Andy celebrated, naked, outside. They did the macarena in the street, causing a horrified old woman to swerve and plow right into a large oak tree, killing herself.
"Come on, sweetie!" Mrs. Davis laughed as they started pissing all over their neighbor's car as they packed their things into it.
"Do you mind?" Mrs. Snargleberry asked, scowling at Andy and his mother.
"SHUT UP, BITCH!" Mrs. Davis ordered, slapping her across the face. Mrs. Snargleberry's mouth hung open as she pressed her hand where she got slapped, dumb-founded.
"Yeah, that's right, you walk away!" Mrs. Davis continued as Mr. Snargleberry quickly led his wife away from their nutcase of a neighbor and they both got into their car.
"Hey! I am not finished!" Mrs. Davis ran out into the street and starting doing the chicken dance. The Snargleberry's quickly backed out of their driveway, and Mrs. Davis narrowly dodged getting run over. She laughed and pointed at them. "Missed me, missed me! Now ya gotta-"
The naked woman was abruptly interrupted when the Snargleberry's floored their car, completely running her over, and sending her to the ground. They didn't even stop to make sure she was dead. How rude.
"Mom!" Andy cried out, running over to his mother who was sprawled out in the street naked.
"I'll be okay...just a scratch..." Mrs. Davis reassured him as she sat up. Suddenly, a loud horn blared throughout the area, and Andy screamed and ran away.
"Get back here and help me you bastard!" Mrs. Davis screamed before a large movie truck ran her over.
"Ouch!" The toys exclaimed as they watched from their window spot. An EGGMAN moving truck pulled into the driveway next door, followed by a pick-up truck and mini-van. A large, tall man stepped out of the pick-up truck, wearing a tank top showing off huge muscles. Next came his wife, who stepped out of the mini-van. She had beautiful red hair that went a little bit past her shoulders, and bangs that covered her forehead. Her attire was a bright blue jogging suit. Then came a teenage boy, with black, shaggy hair and huge headphones on. He had on a black and gray striped hoodie on, with dark blue jeans, and black and white checkered shoes. His back was slumped a bit and he walked with his hands in his pockets. Behind him were two twin girls, both blondes with cute little pig-tails. One was wearing a pink t-shirt and shoes, with blue overalls, the other with a blue t-shirt and black shoes, with pink, denim overalls. Then last, and probably least, came a second son. He looked to be around the age of the twin girls, give or take a year or two. He had short, black hair and was wearing a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and black shoes with red laces.
"I can already tell these people are weirdos!" Malibu Rachel snapped everybody back to reality.
"How?" A toy questioned.
"Just look at the family! Those twin girls? So 90's. And the youngest son trying to look bad ass? Cliched. And the older brother who looks like he will serve absolutely no purpose and will be oblivious to most things is present, as well!"
"You haven't actually met them!" Woody rolled his eyes. "They could be the most normal family you'll ever meet!"
"After living with this woman," Rachel pointed to Mrs. Davis's naked body, which was still in the street, "any family will seem like the most normal I've ever met..."
"Point taken," Woody nodded in agreement.
"I wonder if they have any toy dinosaurs!" Rex pondered.
"Who gives a crap about toy dinosaurs anymore!" Jesse said. "Everybody's into cowgirls these days."
"Totally!" Woody chimed in.
"Yeah, no," Rachel laughed. "Everybody's into Malibu Rachel dolls."
"I beg to differ!" A toy said.
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" Jesse screamed, and a flaming knife shot through the crowd of toys and pinned Jesse by her throat into the wall.
"Oh, shit!" Woody gasped and all the toys broke into havoc as Bambi shot out from the center of the commotion, cackling evilly.
"Bambi?" Buzz squinted through the mass of chaos and gasped. It couldn't be true! Bambi laughed as he grabbed a helpless teddy bear and ripped it's head off, tearing it's stuffing out and throwing it around as if it were confetti. A piece of the fluff landed on Rex.
"OH MY GOD!!!!" He screamed shrilly. "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! HELP!" The toys screamed even louder at the sight of another toy's stuffing flying everywhere. Buzz fought to run through the crowd, all of which was running in the opposite direction of him. He was trying to reach Bambi. He finally broke through the crowd, but Bambi was missing. He looked left and right. There was too much chaos taking place to even spot him. Suddenly, the toys all heard Andy coming up the stairs and everybody rushed into their positions just as the door burst open.
"Today was a good day," Andy smiled, and noticed his teddy bear torn to pieces in the center of the bedroom. "Buster!" Andy growled, blaming the mess on his dog who died a week ago from eating spoiled sausages.
Buzz gulped and turned towards where Jesse was stabbed. Her body and the knife were missing!
"Bambi!" He said under his breath. Andy got ready for bed and was asleep in minutes. Two hours later it was dark out. Buzz found Woody and Rex huddled together under Andy's bed.
"What're you guys doing?"
"SHH! He'll hear you!" Woody punched Buzz in the head to shut him up.
"Ow! Woody! You know Andy's a heavy sleeper! He never-"
"I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!" Woody screeched, punching him in the head again.
"Cut it out! What the hell's wrong with you?"
"He is watching..." Rex managed to squeak.
"Who?" Buzz raised an eyebrow. Woody and Rex pointed toward's Andy's dresser. Bambi's eyes were watching from the darkness beneath it.
"Is that R.C.?" Buzz asked.
"IT'S BAMBI YOU MORON!" Woody began crying. "We're going to die! We're going to die!"
"Woody, calm down, if it was Bambi why would he be sitting there staring at us without moving?"
"He's not."
"What're you-" Buzz was interrupted as he was whacked in the back of the head with a metal crowbar and fell to the floor. Rex began pooping as he ran away.
"Rex! Don't just leave me here!" Woody pleaded.
"IT WAS NICE KNOWING YOU, COWGIRL!"
Woody turned to Bambi just in time to see the swift movement of the metal crowbar nailing him in the face.