A/N: Please note the change in rating. This chapter has pushed the rating to M. Proceed at your own risk.

Also, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed this story. It's so encouraging to know people are enjoying what I've written. I can't tell you how much it means to me.

Chapter 5: All In

Rick sat on the couch flipping mindlessly through the channels on TV. He was alone in the house. Alexis was spending the night with a friend and his mother was on a date. He loved his family but was glad for some time to himself. They hovered these days and it was both touching and annoying.

He'd been working a lot on his new novel. In fact, just that afternoon he'd finally come up with a title, Serenity, something he could sure use more of in his life.

It was almost midnight but he was hungry. When he heard a knock at the door, he assumed it was the take out he'd ordered a little while ago.

He was not prepared to see Kate standing outside his apartment when he opened the door. A flurry of emotions washed over his face: joy at seeing her, fear about what might have caused her late night visit, and finally anger about everything that had happened between them. He tried to close the door but was stopped by her foot in the doorway.

"Rick," she began, "I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Then she just waited.

He didn't want to talk to her. No, that wasn't true. He really did want to talk to her but didn't trust himself to. He missed her so much that he was afraid he would cave and go back to how things used to be.

She watched patiently as he his internal struggle played out on his face. She saw the moment when he thought he had her.

"How do you know I'm alone, Kate?" he demanded. "Maybe I have ….company."

"I don't know." she replied honestly looking straight in his eyes before quietly admitting, "But I hope you're not seeing anyone. Regardless, I had to come anyway. Please let me in."

He closed his eye in defeat. Nodding quietly, he pulled the door more fully open and gestured for her to come in. After closing the door behind her, he went and sat on the couch, waiting for her to join him. He had leaned his head back and closed his eyes mentally preparing to fight to keep what ground he'd worked so hard for in the months since he'd last seen her. He felt her weight on the couch as she sat down and waited for her to speak. She seemed content in the quiet.

Finally, he broke the silence without opening his eyes, "Why are you here, Kate?"

"I miss you," she replied, "I can't stand how things are between us."

He opened his eyes to look at her and told her, "I can't stand how things were between us. I told you I can't do it anymore. That hasn't changed."

"I know." she answered, "but those don't have to be our only choices, do they? What if …. what if I am ready for more?" He watched her, eyes narrowing, as she paused and then continued, "You can't go back to how things were. I get that. That hasn't changed. What about other things changing." She paused, clearly struggling with what she wanted to say next. A look of determination took over her face and she continued, "Has …. how you feel …. about me …. changed?" She looked scared as she asked the next question. "Do you still …. love me?"

Her eyes pleaded with him to say yes as she watched the shock register on his face. She didn't give him a chance to ask the question forming in his mind but confirmed for him, "I remember being shot. I heard what you said to me." She gulped audibly before admitting, "I've always remembered."

She recoiled at the look of hurt that consumed his features. "I'm so sorry Rick. I should have told you. I shouldn't have lied. You didn't deserve that. Right after the shooting, things were so confusing. I couldn't think straight. Then, later," she took a deep breath, "Later, I just took the easy way out. I avoided the subject because I was scared. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

She had finished with a quiet strength to her words that surprised him a little. His thoughts raced through his mind. She'd known all this time, and still she'd pushed him away. Part of him was angry at her for lying to him, but a part of him understood as well. He knew she'd lost people she loved. He understood how wounded she really was under her tough detective shell. He could see how his confession would have scared her. And she was here now, admitting she knew, apologizing for the lie.

"Rick, do you?" she interrupted his thoughts. "Do you still love me?"

He wouldn't compound the situation between them by adding another lie. "Yes," he admitted without opening his eyes or turning to look at her. Her heart wrenched a little at the sadness she heard in his voice as he admitted it.

He felt her move closer to him on the couch and smelled the scent of cherries before feeling her slip her hand into his. "Look at me." she begged. When he ignored the request, she move closer, leaning up against him and asked again, "Rick, please, look at me." Still, he didn't open his eyes.

He felt her move once more and was shocked when she straddled his lap, one knee on either side of him before placing her hands on the sides of his face. "Open your eyes," she pleaded Unable to resist any longer he warily met her gaze.

"I love you, too," she told him before placing a soft kiss on his shocked mouth. She gave him a moment, before continuing. "I have loved you for a long time. I was too afraid to admit it, though. I've lost so many people I cared about, and I tried to do everything I could to protect myself from feeling that way again. When you left, I realized that the distance I insisted on hadn't protected me at all. I was still loosing people I cared for. Only, this time, it was worse because it was my own fault." She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against his.

Rick thought about what she had said, his mind reeling from the changes he saw in her. For the first time in months, hope flared in his chest. His hands slid up her legs to hold her waist gently. She smiled as she felt his fingers tentatively stroke the skin just under the edge of her shirt. "Are you sure, Kate? I can't take..." she stopped him with a finger against his lips.

"Absolutely," she assured him. "I can't promise I won't still be scared, but I can promise not to run. Not from you. Not anymore."

His arms tightened around her pulling her even closer to him. His kiss was full of all the emotion they had spent years dancing around. She returned the kiss with as much assurance as she could. She needed him to know she was all in.

Kate flicked her tongue across his bottom lip and he immediately opened his mouth to allow her entrance. He groaned at the feel of her tongue on his and slid his hands under her shirt, up her back pulling her harder against him. He was surprised when she pushed back against him, leaning away. But he smiled when she reach for the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it off of him. She leaned in for another kiss and he shuddered as her hands ran over him, her fingers toying with the hair dusting his chest. His hands had moved from her back to her stomach before beginning to work on the buttons of her blouse. He kissed his way up her body as he gradually opened the shirt, finally pushing it off her shoulders. He drank her in with his eyes, awed by her beauty. She noticed his eyes fall on the scar from the shooting and began to feel self-conscious. But she relaxed as he leaned in to kiss his way across the mark. She heard him mutter quietly, "So beautiful," as his lips trailed over her body. When he moved his mouth to tease a nipple through her bra, a gasp escaped her.

Around her moan she asked, "Martha? Alexis?"

"Gone until morning," came his reply, his eyes darkening with desire for her.

He whimpered a protest when she got up but smiled when she offered her hand. "Let's go to bed, Rick," she said before leading the way to his room.

She stopped just inside his doorway pulling him up behind her. He swept her hair from the side of her neck, dropping open mouthed kissed along her shoulder and neck. His hands slid up to cup her breasts. She reached back to unhook her bra, needing to feel him on her skin. Turning as the bra fell to the floor she reached up to pull his head down in a searing kiss. His hands slid down to cup her ass as he picked her up and carried her to the bed. He lay her down and leaned over her, reaching to unbutton her jeans and slide them with her panties from her body.

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen and here she was lying, naked in his bed. He couldn't stop the huge grin from overtaking his face. She laughed gently and then made an impatient sound as she reached for him. He quickly rid himself of his own pants and boxers before lowering himself onto the bed beside her.

Their hands and mouths seemed to be everywhere all at once the only sounds in the room the heaviness of their breathing and the moans of pleasure the elicited from each other. Finally, Kate couldn't stand it any longer and leaned inclose to whisper, "I need you in me. Now." She locked eyes with him as he slid into her, holding his gaze as long as she could. When she couldn't take the intensity anymore her eyes rolled back and she began to move with him.

Her eyes snapped back open when he reached down to toy with the bundle of nerves at her core. Soon he felt her convulse around him and it pushed him over the edge as well. After they'd both come down and began breathing more normally, he looked at her with hesitation in his face.

"Are you still scared?" he asked her.

She smiled softly, "Yes, I am." she admitted, "But I'm not going to give into it. You're stuck with me." She turned further into him, snuggling closer to him. "I love you," she whispered

He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her hair, reveling in the feel of the woman he loved, the woman who loved him, in his arms as they both drifted off to sleep.

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Alexis entered the loft quietly the next morning and was shocked to see a woman's blouse laying across the back of the couch. Did Dad have a woman spend the night? Hm, this was new. Maybe he was finally getting over whatever had happened with Detective Beckett. Heading to the kitchen, she opened the fridge looking for some breakfast. She heard the door to her dad's room open and turned to greet him. Her jaw dropped when she saw it wasn't her dad at all but Kate Beckett. And she was wearing one of her dad's shirts and nothing else. Kate entered the kitchen and pulled a glass out of the cabinet. After filling it with water she smiled shyly at Alexis. "See, I told you I'd fix it," she said quietly. Turning to head back to the bedroom, she missed the huge grin on Alexis' face.

FIN