Prompt: Star Trek Deep Space Nine Episode title - "A Man Alone"
If anyone has any prompts feel free to send them my way!
~If there is a hell on Earth this is it, ~ Reid thought, as the wave of abdominal cramps eased up. He took in a deep breath, grateful for that small relief, though with the ache in his back and legs, the pain was still intense.
He stayed curled up in the fetal position which seemed to be the most comfortable. If he didn't move, at least the bruises from the bar fight didn't hurt. Morgan's doctor friend had said he hadn't broken anything in the fight. Right about then though, Reid wasn't sure how it could really matter, given the pain he was feeling. He didn't see how a broken rib could make anything worse.
Reid felt a cold cloth being pressed against his forehead again but he didn't bother with opening his eyes. He didn't need to in order to know who had done so. There were only two people in the apartment with him right now and despite Morgan's friend insistence that Morgan go lay down for a little bit, he had heard Morgan's protests to that idea. His friend had refused to leave his side right then. Inside, Reid knew it wasn't fair to Morgan. He wasn't sure how much time had past but he knew it well into the early morning hours by now. The words to tell Morgan to take his friend's advice, Reid couldn't recall the guy's name right then in the haze he was in, were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't bring himself to voice them.
Reid felt a hand on his back again, gently rubbing in a circular motion. Though it didn't do anything to help the pain, that simple motion was a source of comfort and in the hell Reid felt like he was lost in right now, he would take whatever small comforts he could get. That was why he didn't tell Morgan to go get some rest himself, though he knew his friend needed it. It was selfish. He knew that, but on some level he didn't care at this point.
The muscles of his abdomen tightened again. Reid bit down on his lower lip, trying to hold back the cry of pain that was close to slipping out. His ears heard a slight whimpering, and his trained mind immediately thought that someone was in trouble. It took a moment for him to realize that the whimpering was coming from him.
~I can't do this. It's too hard. I need the drug. The drug will put an end to this pain. It will help me forget all about Georgia. It'll end this suffering. I just need to escape.~
"I just want to end the pain."
"Kid, the drug was only masking the pain. It's not ending it," Morgan said calmly, his words making Reid realize that he had said at least some of those words out loud.
Another voice cut through the haze of pain he was in.
"Spencer, it's not too late to change your mind," the voice said. "You don't have to do this cold turkey," the voice continued, and Reid finally realized it was Morgan's doctor friend. "I can get you into a detox program."
"No," Reid said, shaking his head. He felt the cloth slip from his forehead.
"I can taper you off the drug then. Just tell me how much you were taking and how often. It'll take longer, but it'll be easier on you."
~Yes, ~ Reid's mind screamed, wanting the drug in any amount. He wanted to feel it going through his veins. Wanted the escape that the drug provided. Yet he knew that if he gave in now, his resolve to quit would crumble. ~It's just a step backward and I don't know if I have the strength to move forward again if I give in.~
"No. Please don't. I don't want it," Reid said, in his mind saying those words to Tobias as he tried to convince him not to inject the drug but was in no position to stop him.
"It'll help."
"I don't want it," Reid pleaded again, keeping his eyes closed.
Tobias took his arm and wrapped the belt around it. The belt was secured tight. Reid knew that pleading wasn't going to help. It hadn't the first time, and it wouldn't this time. He had to fight him. Keep Tobias from injecting him again.
"I don't want it," he said, lashing out, reaching for the belt with his other hand, trying to get it off.
"Easy, Kid, calm down."
Reid felt hands grab a hold of him. He fought. Opening his eyes, he lashed out at the two people who were trying to hold him down. He couldn't give in. He couldn't let them drug him again.
~Two? There shouldn't be two. It was only Tobias and his other personas.~
"Spencer, I'm not going to give you anything you don't want. You need to calm down though. The withdrawal is putting enough stress on your body. This isn't helping any."
~That's not Tobias' voice, ~ Reid realized, even as he continued to struggle. Despite those struggles though, he felt strong arms reach from behind him, and take hold of his forearms. Unable to resist, his arms were soon pinned, the strong arms holding him tight against whoever they belonged to.
"Kid, calm down." The words were whispered in his ear. "I don't know where you think you're at right now, but you're safe. Just relax before you hurt yourself more."
"Morgan?" Reid asked, his mind starting to separate between what was really going on and what he was just reliving in his mind.
"That's right," Morgan said. "We're at your apartment. You're safe. Eric and I are only trying to help you through this."
"I felt a belt around my arm. I thought Tobias was going to . . ."
Reid let his words trail off, realizing how absurd they sounded. Tobias was dead. It couldn't have been he.
"It was just the blood pressure cuff, Spencer," Eric said calmly, removing his weight from Reid's legs, now that the younger man seemed calmer. He realized what had set Reid off and what his mistake had been. Recalling Reid's pleading to his questions about other methods of detox, Eric realized that his patient had already been partly lost in his memories at that time. "I should have warned you. Should have told you what I was going to do. I'm sorry."
Reid had now relaxed completely against Morgan. Though the older agent's arms still encircled his friend, he wasn't being met with any kind of resistance. Eric saw Reid nod in reply to his words. The doctor realized that this wasn't just a typical case of withdrawal they were dealing with. There were other emotional issues that they were battling.
Morgan glanced at the window. Sun was peeking around the edges of the drawn blind. They had gotten through the first night, though he knew they still had a long way to go. He felt Reid tense up as he still rested against him. After Morgan had restrained him when Reid had lashed out with him, Reid had resisted being moved. Wanting to keep him calm, Morgan had stayed where he was, arms protectively around his friend. Though Morgan was starting to feel stiff from sitting in one position so long, the only movement he had made was to coax Reid into drinking some water. Water, which so far Reid had kept down.
~At least that's one thing that is in our favor.~
The sound of a knock at the door echoed through the apartment. Morgan glanced down at his watch and saw that it was seven-thirty. The only one who would know about Reid calling in sick at this hour would be Hotch, though the others would find out soon after arriving at the office. That of course didn't mean that it wasn't JJ or Garcia. Either of them could have decided to stop by and check up on Reid and offer him a ride to work. Whoever it was, he knew he had to answer the door. Not answering it would only cause whoever was out there to worry more.
Morgan started to ease Reid's weight off of him, so that he could rest the younger man down on the bed. Reid stirred but didn't resist. Morgan doubted Reid had much strength in him to resist.
"I'll be right back," Morgan told him.
"Don't let anyone in here. I don't want them to see me like this," Reid pleaded. "Not now."
"Okay," Morgan assured him.
The knock sounded again as he got to his feet. Across the bed, Eric had dozed off in a chair he had brought into the room.
~He's going to end up with a stiff neck, ~ Morgan thought, as he made his way out of the bedroom.
Reaching the front door, Morgan glanced out the peep hole. Then, sliding the security chain out, he opened the door, to find Hotch getting ready to knock again.
"I was hoping I would find you over here when I got the notification that you had both called out," Hotch said, as he took in Morgan standing at Reid's front door. "How is he?"
"It's been a rough night," Morgan replied. "He doesn't want the rest of you to see him like this. Can you tell the others to stay away for a few days?"
Hotch nodded. He knew Garcia, Em and JJ weren't going to be happy at that news but they would respect the request.
"How long are the two of you going to be out?"
"From what I've been told, at least a week," Morgan said, wearily wondering if he could go through another night like the one he had just gone through, much less six more of them.
"You can't do this by yourself, Morgan."
"I brought in a friend to help. He's a doctor."
"That's good," Hotch said, relieved to hear that his two agents weren't' trying to get through this blindly. "Still, you're not a man alone in this. If you need anything, food, a bit of time away from everything, even just someone to talk, just call. We'll do whatever we can."
"I appreciate that. Right now, I think the less of us involved the better off we're going to be."
Hotch nodded. "I'll put the paper work through for the two of you to be out for the next week. You're going to have to use your time to get paid for . . . "
"I know. It's worth it. He's family so whatever I've got to do to get him through this, I'm going to do." In the pause that followed, the sound of someone getting sick floated out to them, from the bedroom. "I've got to go," Morgan said.
Hotch nodded. "I'll bring you by something for dinner tonight."
"Thanks," Morgan replied, feeling grateful for the offer.
As Hotch turned and headed down the hallway, Morgan closed the door, slid the security chain back in place and headed back for the bedroom. It was going to be a long day, just like it had been a long night.
Walking into the bedroom, Morgan saw that Eric was awake now. He was sitting up in the chair, holding the basin as Reid's stomach forced bile and the water that he had drank back up. As Morgan crossed the room, Reid laid back against the pillows, his eyes closed tight. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Morgan reached out and took Reid's hand in his own.
"Who was it?" Reid asked, without opening his eyes.
"Hotch. He wanted to make sure we didn't need anything."
"I don't want them involved in this."
"Kid, we're a family. Even if you keep them all at arm's length, we're all already involved in this."
"I'm sorry," Reid said, his resolve crumbling as he started to cry.
Morgan reached down and gathered his friend in his arms, not sure what else he could do for him right now.
Eric got to his feet. "I'm going to go see what I can find us for breakfast," he told Morgan, more wanting to occupy himself with something outside of the bedroom more than an actual desire for food.