Hey, guys. This chapter's finally up, and not even I thought it'd make it. To be honest, I'd almost lost interest in this story, but the Universe gave me some tell-tale signs to keep going with this. NBC T-shirts, DVD ads on TV, Christmas music…well, you get the idea. So here it is: chapter 3 of Fortune Favors the Brave!

Oh, and by the way: for the sake of one of the jokes, this story takes place in 2009 at the earliest. So for those of you thinking to e-mail me about incorrect calendar events, you'll just end up looking really stupid.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Nightmare Before Christmas. Tim Burton is a genius.

Oh, boy…someone call the record books, this is definitely the strangest thing to happen since fifty million people got Rick Rolled at last year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. And believe me, that's saying something.

I mean, here I am in a holiday-based town inhabited by monsters who've never seen a human before, being led off by the literally-bipolar elected official to meet the scariest monster in history, and all I had to do was get lost in the woods and fall through a portal inside a tree with a picture of a pumpkin on it.

…what the f***?

Okay, okay, calm down, Mel…this isn't so bad. Hey, you love this stuff! You and Calista are both all right, the monsters seem pretty friendly, and maybe this Pumpkin King dude, Jack or whatever his name is, can get you back to the real world. But what kind of monster is he? The Mayor said he was more frightening than any of them…aw, whatever! He won't scare me; I'm not afraid of anything.

"Here we are!" the Mayor announced cheerfully. "This is Dr. Finklestein's laboratory!"

I looked up – we were passing through a pair of wrought-iron gates that led to one of the tall buildings I'd seen earlier, the one with the big metal sphere at the top of a tower. The building was made entirely of the same metal, with a small flight of steps leading up to an enormous wooden door. The Mayor dragged me up the aforementioned steps before finally letting go. I put Calista down and massaged my wrist; that was some grip. And here I thought all politicians were sticky-fingered. Well, this one's definitely two-faced! Ha, ha, ha…ahem…sorry, couldn't help it.

The Mayor cleared his throat, adjusted the live spider he used for a tie (ewww…), and briskly knocked on the door. "Jack! Dr. Finklestein! I've got the human with me!" He grabbed onto my wrist again.

I yanked my arm out of his grasp and glared at him. "Okay, if you grab my wrist again, I seriously cannot be held responsible for my actions." Calista added a hiss, and the Mayor's head rotated to show his frightened face.

The door opened with a creak, and the Mayor's happy face snapped back. "Ah, Doctor! I'm here looking for J – oh, Sally! What a pleasant surprise!"

I looked away from the Mayor and my eyes fell on the figure standing in the doorway. It was a young woman with long red hair and big dark brown eyes. She was about a head taller than I was, and she had a very slender build. Her skin was blue (another living dead, I guess), and large chunks of it appeared to be sewn together. Her dress looked like it had been sewn from many different-colored rags. There was a nervous smile on her face, and she was unconfidently clutching one hand in the other.

We looked at each other for a moment, and then I cleared my throat. "Lemme guess: dead tissue taken from various corpses, sewn together by a mad scientist, and reanimated using controlled bolts of lightning, right?"

Her eyes widened. "Uh, yes. Yes, actually, how did you know?"

I shrugged. "Oh, you know…shot in the dark."

Yea, and the Lord raised his hand and said, "LET THERE BE A PARODY!"

"Um, anyway, my name's Melanie. Nice to meet you." I held out my hand.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Melanie. I'm Sally, a creation of Doctor Finklestein." She tentatively shook my hand.

Huh…did she sound bitter about that last part, or was I imagining that?

Calista mewed, probably to let someone know that she was still there. Sally looked down at her and gasped in delight. "Oh, is this your cat? She's beautiful!"

"Oh, yeah, she's mine…you can hold her if you want." I picked her up and held her out to Sally. "But be careful and don't pull her tail – if she doesn't know you well, it could get messy. Right, Mayor?" The Mayor's sad face swiveled back for a brief second.

Sally gingerly took Calista and stroked her slowly, smiling. Calista closed her eyes and purred loudly. I whistled admiringly. "Wow, she usually only purrs like that for me…she must really like you."

Sally looked ecstatic. "You think so?"

The Mayor cleared his throat and stepped between us. "I'm terribly sorry, Sally, but is Jack still here?"

Sally nodded. "Oh, yes. He's helping the Doctor with one of his experiments – please, come in." She stepped back and ushered us inside. We appeared to be in some sort of front hall or lobby or something. There was nothing in here, no furniture or anything, just a staircase leading off to the next floor. I could see a few doors up there, all wooden and with a crossbeam to prevent intruders. There were another couple doors on the other side of the hall, these without crossbeams.

Sally led us through one of the doors into what was apparently a kitchen, and then up another flight of stairs to another door (jeez, who was their architect?). "They're right in there," she told us, gesturing with her free hand. She stepped forward and knocked softly. "Enter," an irritable-sounding voice said from inside. Sally pushed open the door and led us inside.

No doubt about it – this was a mad scientist's laboratory all right. The room was large and poorly-lit, but filled with lab equipment and experimental junk. There were several tables piled with blueprints, beakers, Bunsen burners, you name it. A larger, steel table was placed in the middle of the room, its surface covered in rusty machine parts, with two huge…are those guns? Man, those look like something out of a sci-fi movie! Maybe they shoot fire or lightning or make a force field or something…um, anyway, there was a smaller steel surface in the corner, held at an angle, with two leather straps near the top and bottom. It looked like the table Frankenstein had been reborn on; maybe it was for Sally. At the end of the room, a giant book the size of a small elephant was propped against the wall. A small figure in a wheelchair was facing it, flipping one of the pages with some difficulty and grunting with the effort.

The Mayor's grin widened, if possible, even further as he scurried forward. "Doctor Finklestein! Oh, Doctor Finklestein!"

"Hmm?" The page slipped back into place, and there was a sudden whirring as the wheelchair spun around, revealing its occupant. It was a little man, shriveled and pale. He was wearing sunglasses, and even from this distance, I could see lines around his eyes from squinting (well, he shouldn't be wearing sunglasses in the dark). His mouth jutted out from his face like a duck's bill, and his lips were a dull red. He was completely bald, but what looked like several bolts seemed to be screwed into his head (I swear, if Mary Shelley were still alive, she'd definitely sue somebody). His lab coat fell to just below his knees, and he wore elbow-length black rubber gloves. Let me tell you, this guy didn't look too pleasant.

"Oh, it's you, Mayor," he said dismissively. He pushed a lever on his chair, and it swung back to face the giant book. "Don't touch anything, I'm working on a new experiment."

Mayor went began walking towards him, with Sally and me following. "Oh, don't worry," he assured, "we won't go near – whoopsie!" He had crashed into the table and knocked a machine part to the ground, smashing it to pieces.

The wheelchair spun around again, showing Dr. Finklestein's furious face. "You incompetent fool! Now my experiment is ruined!"

The Mayor's head spun around yet again. "Oh, dear, I'm so sorry, I –"

"Sorry?!" the doctor snarled. " 'Sorry' won't fix that Double Defilibrator – and you!" he said suddenly, pointing a trembling finger at Sally, who jumped and gasped. "Put that animal down before you catch its disease!" Calista's fur stood on end, and her eyes narrowed.

I took a step towards the good doctor, my temper flaring yet again. "Hey! Don't you talk about my cat like that, gramps! She's not disease-ridden – but considering that fancy chair o' yours, someone may be sick around here…"

Don't look at me like that. I've got nothing against the disabled, provided that they don't mess with me or Calista.

"Bite your tongue, you wretched girl!" the doctor spat. "You've no right talking to an old man that way!"

I clenched my fists, anger coursing through my veins. "Oh, is that what you are? You look more like some sort of crippled cockroach!"

The doctor growled threateningly and pushed his wheelchair forward, but the Mayor stepped between us. "People, please! Let's not fight on Halloween!" He turned to Dr. Finklestein. "All we want is to find Jack! He told me to bring the human to him as soon as she woke up!"

"Human, eh?" Dr. Finklestein said thoughtfully, looking at me. I glared back at him. "Hmm…well, he's not here. I needed some salamander blood for my now ruined experiment –" The Mayor winced. "– and he went to get some. Now kindly leave before you break something else. Sally, show them to the door." He turned his chair back around.

"Come on," Sally whispered, putting a hand on my shoulder. I stood there for a moment, trying to think of a witty parting insult, but I drew blank (hey, what do you expect? This is real life, not a scripted movie). Cursing under my breath, I followed Sally and the Mayor out of the room.

I kept silent until we reached the bottom of the steps. I was still really pissed, but I figured an apology might be in order. Not for the doctor – I don't care how he feels about me – but poor Sally looks really upset, and she's one of the first people to treat me like a normal human being (even though a human is apparently as abnormal as you can get around here). "Hey, uh, listen, Sally…I'm sorry for causing trouble. I just wasn't gonna let get away with –"

"No, Melanie, don't worry about that," Sally interrupted. "He's rude to everyone. But you know," she added thoughtfully, "he may be rude, but he's smart and well-respected. No one's ever fought back before. I think you impressed him." She handed me back Calista.

"You don't say." I took Calista and let her rest on my shoulder. "Well, whatever. So, when do you think –?"

There was suddenly a loud slam from beyond the kitchen door. "Hello?" a voice called out. "Doctor? I've got the salamander blood…"

The Mayor gasped, and his happy face swiveled back. "Oh, it's Jack!" He pushed open the door and scampered into the front hall. Sally and I exchanged glances (hers was amused; mine was slightly 'WTF?' –ish) and followed him.

Well, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to expect, but I doubt it was this guy.

Turns out the Pumpkin King wasn't a Pumpkin after all; he was a skeleton (of course! That makes perfect sense!). He was definitely the tallest guy I'd seen in both this world and the real world – he was bent nearly double as he stepped through the door. He was wearing a black pinstripe suit, and like the Mayor, he had an odd choice in ties; it looked like a dead bat. His arms, legs, and fingers were abnormally long; he reminded me vaguely of a spider. His eye sockets, too, looked larger than normal, giving him a look of constant surprise. He doesn't look so scary.

"Jack!" the Mayor called up excitedly. "There you are! I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Everywhere? Please, we were in two rooms of one building in this whole town. Talk about dramatic.

The skeleton's mouth turned up in some sort of undead smile. "Hello, Mayor, Sally, and – oh!" His skeletal grin widened as he looked at me (how can he see with no eyes?). "You're finally awake! That's wonderful!" He bowed low, waving his hands with a flourish. "I am Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, and I'm the one who found you in the cemetery. And you are…?"

I smiled. For the scariest monster in Halloween Town, he seems pretty eager to make friends. "I'm Melanie Carter, and this is my cat, Calista." Calista mewed in response to her name. "It's nice to meet you," I added, extending my hand.

Jack shook my hand heartily. "Melanie…what a nice name!" I grinned broadly; I'm a sucker for sweet talk. "And believe me, the pleasure is all mine." His smile turned sheepish. "Oh, dear…this is very strange. You see, I've seen plenty of humans before, but I've never actually met one – only scared them!"

"Believe me, Your Highness, this can't possibly be as weird for you as it is for me!" I pointed out, chuckling.

Jack laughed – a high-pitched cackle that sent chills down my spine. I guess he really is scary. "That's right, you don't have ghosts and ghouls in your world! You must be shocked!" I nodded weakly. "Oh, by the way," he added, "you can call me Jack. Everyone does."

"All right, Jack, then," I replied, nodding. Calista meowed softly and flicked her tail against my shoulder blades. I frowned and picked her up off my shoulder, but in doing so, I got a good look at Sally. She had retreated back against the wall and was looking down at her clasped hands, her cheeks the very palest shade of pink. I raised an eyebrow. What's up with her?

"Anyway, Melanie," Jack was saying, "how did you get here from your world? Do you remember anything before you passed out?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, but it sure was strange…Calista here ran off in the woods, and I ran after her, and…well, I ended up in this grove of weird trees, and I fell through the jack-o-lantern door –"

"Door?" Jack repeated, frowning. "What door?"

I raised my eyebrow even higher. "The door. The one from my world to yours. You really can't miss it; it's inside a giant tree and covered up with a picture of a jack-o-lantern…"

Jack looked helpless. "I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Whenever I go to your world, I go through the tomb in the graveyard."

My head was spinning. "You mean you really don't know anything about it? But I swear…the tomb? What do you – oh, never mind. Something tells me that I don't wanna know."

I jumped in surprise at a loud dinging sound. The Mayor pulled an oversized pocket watch out of his coat pocket, glanced at it, and his head turned once again. "Oh, my! Jack, look at the time!" He waved the watch in Jack's face – or rather, as high up as his stubby little arms could reach. "We've got to start getting ready for the celebration!"

I blinked. "Celebration?"

"Every year on Halloween, we hold a big party in honor of all things horrifying and spooky," Jack explained, putting on a scary sneer and waving his hands. "It's the most important event of the year, and it's really quite fantastic…wait! I know!" he added suddenly, drawing himself up to his full height. "Why don't you stay and watch?"

I smiled weakly. "Oh, no, I really should be getting back home…where things make sense…" Sort of. "Anyway, I'm not exactly a party person."

"Oh, but it will be wonderful!" Jack pleaded, looking at me imploringly. "The whole town decorated, the citizens at their spookiest, and there'll be singing and dancing and it'll be so much fun!" Is it just me, or do his words sound a little forced? "I just know you'll love it…that is, if you don't mind being frightened out of your wits."

I laughed. "Oh, please. Nothing scares me." Nothing but that creepy laugh of yours.

Jack cocked his skull, eye sockets wide. "Nothing at all?"

"Nope."

He smirked. "I don't believe you. Why don't you prove it to me at the celebration?"

"Because I…uh…" I sighed. "Okay, okay, you got me. I'll be there."

"Wonderful!" Jack exclaimed. "We've never had an audience before…oh, but where should you stay until then?" He began pacing, tapping one finger against his cheek. "I want it to be a surprise, and the celebration takes up the whole town…it looks like you'll have to wait at the edge of town. But I'm sure you don't know your way around…I'd escort you myself, but I'm just too busy…Sally, can you do it?"

Sally shook her head, keeping her gaze on her hands. "I don't think so. The Doctor will be wanting his dinner soon, after all."

"Hmm, that's true," Jack agreed. "Let's see…who to take you… I know!" He slapped his hand against his leg twice and looked expectantly at the open door.

I looked at him oddly. "Um, how was that going t – OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT?!" I yelped, and Calista's ears flattened. Some sort of white floating thing just zoomed through the door!

"That's Zero," Jack explained patiently. "He's my dog."

"Your…dog?" I repeated, inching away from the floating thing, now floating near me. Now that he mentioned it, it did sort of look like a ghost dog; it had long ears, undulating in the slight breeze, and a glowing red-orange nose at the end of a long snout. It had no tail or legs; it sort of looked like a dog in an oversized doggy sweater.

The ghost dog, Zero, floated over to me and sniffed my hair. His black eyes lit up and he barked a few times, and then did a mid-air back flip and licked my cheek. It felt really weird, kind of cold and light and fluid-like, but in a nice way.

"Aw, he likes you!" Jack said delightedly. "And look; he likes Calista, too!" Zero had descended to Calista's level, sniffed behind her cheek (despite her warning hiss), and barked happily. Calista looked at him suspiciously for a moment, then reached out and batted his nose with her paw, meowing shock as her paw went right through. Zero twitched his nose, grinned broadly, and nuzzled her. Calista's ears straightened as she purred softly.

"Yeah…huh, she doesn't usually like dogs…" I shrugged. "I guess it's cause he's a ghost. So, what's he gonna do?"

"He'll lead you to the edge of Halloween Town, beyond the graveyard," Jack told me. "You can wait there while we finish setting up, and at midnight, you can come back and enjoy the show!"

"Right, okay," I muttered. "Well, I guess I'll see you there. Nice meeting you, everybody." The others waved as I followed Zero out the door.

Zero led me back to the town square, past the guillotine, and through a pair of tall gates. I took a moment to glance around – there was a large, curving hill with some sort of spiral-shaped landmass beneath the very edge, and surrounding it were hundreds, no, thousands of graves. I wanted to check it out, but Zero was already speeding off, and I had to jog just to keep him in my sights.

That crazy dog finally stopped near the entrance to a forest. Tall, jet-black trees short up into the air and were curved slightly at the top, forming a sort of tunnel. Zero barked happily, did another back flip, and flew off back towards Halloween Town. I glanced through the entrance and spotted a wide tree stump in the shadows. I went over and gratefully sat down, placing Calista down beside me and stretching my sore muscles. This town was huge, and from the way Jack was going on back there, it threw an even huger party.

Still, for all his big talk, he didn't sound as excited as his dialogue suggested. What's up with that? I mean, isn't the scariest monster in the world supposed to be the most excited about Halloween?

I checked my watch – it was nine-thirty. Time flies when you're screwing with alternate worlds, I guess. I set the alarm for midnight and settled down to wait.

For those of you who didn't see the Macy's Parade, the Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends float was getting ready to do a song about friendship when Rick Astley pops out of no where and starts singing the famous "Never Gonna Give You Up". The video's on Youtube. For those who did see it, raise your hand if you laughed.

My updates may be a little more frequent from now on, as I won't have to think up too much original material.