Glaring ensues between us. The Scot knows what's happening but he can't do anything. I know he knows and I can't do anything. We're at stalemates with each other.
A perfect example would be a checker's game. I'm in the middle of the board, my team on the bottom. The guards or the authority is at the top. I've made my way to the battlefield, the center, and the Scot's piece is one of the ones looking to take me out. So is Kirkland's. On the tip top is the holy land, the free world. If I can get past them I can win the game. My companions are behind me and Marlene is only a step away from where I am. We're close, so close, but the remaining number of guards outweighs our own force. We have to maneuver, use our wits and common sense to win.
The Scot notices my deep-thinking and pushes me forward with the baton. I lunge forward but then swish back, pin him against the wall. He looks like he's about to throw me out when I kiss him again. The shock of it shuts him up.
"What have you heard from the other guards?"
My voice is a careful whisper, filled with uneasiness and deception. He blinks at me. Must not know whether to tell me the truth or not or call backup. Finally he opens his mouth to talk.
"They say they heard from an inmate that you were 'with' the warden. I told them that was impossible but Yao said the girl told him she was there while you two were kissing. Found some sort of hiding place or something."
I take all of this in with silence. It makes sense yet it doesn't. How would she know about this secret place? From other convicts they told me she didn't get in trouble often. They did say, however, that she was always called up to see the warden for her health issues. When I ask what was wrong with her they simply say it was her immune system. I claim bullshit but don't say it out loud.
And then, everything connects again. Kirkland's nervous actions when he talks about her. Amy's hatred toward me, not just because I took away her status. I also took away her man. I had to do something to get her to shut up.
The Scot waits patiently for it to sink in and I let him go. Once he's off the wall I tell him my theory. He doesn't say anything, just blinks. A lot more than normal. A liar.
"Why didn't you tell me she had a fling with him?"
I already know what he'll answer with but I want to hear it anyway. He looks away. Either embarrassed or crestfallen.
"Because if I did then you would've realized what a playboy my brother really was."
I wait for an extended explanation. He gulps but goes on.
"Women to him…are only tools. He only wants them for sex, love, and satisfying his fetishes. His relationship with her lasted longer than others, but he broke it off with her in the end. Said she was getting too attached. That might be why he likes you, because you're so easygoing. Ready to go with anyone, anytime, anywhere."
"So basically I'm a slut?"
"You're more classy then a slut, more like a pretty girl lover."
"Always going for the best prize."
"Exactly."
Talking about this with him, finding out details about his brother, it brought our relationship up. He trusted me to tell me all of this. I guess I trusted him enough to think he was telling the truth. He looks at me with emerald eyes. They're different then the warden's, which seem cocky and cold. These are sensitive and sympathetic.
I can't say anything. The emotion he's giving me is way too much. Suddenly he bends down and hugs me. Way out of line. I close my eyes and welcome the warmth. I don't feel any feelings, but it's nice to know someone who cares. No wonder the girls here fell head over heels for the guards. After the wall of ice melted their was a good guy in all of them.
Oh, how great it is to be such a hypocrite. All young guards are like that. Want to comfort you, make you feel better. They just want you for your body. I've seen too many times where that's the case.
Which is why I needed to stop procrastinating and stop Marlene's affections.
The Scot looks at me, then closes in and kisses me. I don't kiss him back but I don't restrain from it either. Lead them on, Amelia, just lead them on.
Lead them on until it's time for them to be broken.
I'm about to go to sleep when the Warden hugs my body. We're sleeping in a room located who knows where, somehow still in the prison. I'm naked and I can feel his skin press against mine. It's warm and I shudder from the feeling of cold to warm.
"You still awake, love?"
He murmurs softly. The time is night, the same day. We had just gotten through the seduction and I was now more tired than I've ever been. Being so young and having so much energy really took a toll on me. I tell him I'm not and he chuckles. Suddenly teeth are on my neck and I have a strong urge to moan. I contain myself and shift farther away from him, complaining about needing to sleep for tomorrow.
"I can just write you a clinic pass."
"Stop it already…we've already had sex tonight…I'm not ready for any more…"
He sighs and gives up. Whenever a woman says they're not ready you back off, that simple. At least he understands that. I wait until I hear snoring and then look around the room. It's well furbished, surprisingly. I want to go outside and see where we are exactly but I know I can't. Kirkland would know and become suspicious.
I look at his sleeping body. Attractive on the outside but not on the in. I was reminded of myself, and possibly the Scot. I still hadn't learned his name. Maybe I should…
No. That would establish a bond, a relationship. I had enough of that with Kirkland. Perhaps I should start calling him Arthur now, since we were technically lovers. The sound of the word excites me and I imagine what only happened a few minutes ago. My virginity was lost years ago to a bad boy on the wrong side of the world, but with Kirkland it felt like I was an innocent pure girl while he was the equally innocent pure boy. I can see why Amy found it so hard to let go.
Thinking of that I smile to myself. Yes, Amy would be jealous. So jealous in fact she'd probably start another fight, and I'd make sure I'd win. I'll merge my army with Fiona's before she can. Fiona seems as hard grit as I am so we'd be more compatible. Amy would lose everything, and who knows? Maybe she'll kill herself. When that happens I'll point the finger at me, not Fiona. I want the credit.
Suddenly stimulated, I lean over to Arthur and kiss his earlobe. His eyes open and he smiles.
"Change your mind?"
"For now, yes."
We both smile and I assume the position while he lays kisses on my lips and chest. Yes, it felt good to be the alpha, to have everything in my hands.
It was about time I got there.
Romance out of the way, I began my plan for jail domination. Marlene sat silently as I told her what I planned to do to get us out.
"Sounds good, but what about the Scottish guy?"
"What about him? He's nothing, just a stepping stone to the ultimate prize: freedom."
"Seems like he really likes you though, unlike that lady killing warden."
I blink in surprise. Was she seriously telling me how to feel? I told her before that the Scot was nothing but a liability, just a person I used in my game.
"What's with you all of a sudden, telling me what to do?"
"I'm just sayin' that maybe the guy likes you for more then a girl to fool around with."
"Who in the hell do you think you are?"
My eyes narrow. I can feel anger bubbling inside. She glares back at me and electricity passes between us. Below us everyone is mingling like normal. Making friends, making enemies, making homosexual relationships. Our silent battle isn't noticed until I snap the cord.
"This is because you confessed to the pissed off Italian, huh? I knew you liked him, wanted him. He rejected you though. Just like every other guard."
"At least I'm not doing the warden and flirting with his brother at the same time, you whore."
War cries. That's all I hear, all I make. I grab one of her puffy curls and twist it around, make her screech in pain. She grabs at my hand and digs in her fingernails so hard I bleed. She forces me down the bleachers, trying to make me tumble, but I drag her along by her hair. We hiss and curse as our bodies fly down the steps. When we hit the ground she dives at me, pins me on the ground and starts punching. I block her attacks and try to switch where I'm at but her legs are strong and hold me down. I grab her arm and bite down, hard. She yelps and lets go, yanking it away. I straighten up and leap at her while she recovers. Fists fly and I aim directly for her face, right in the nose. She manages to throw me off with her legs and kicks at me in the stomach. I bend over, breathing hard from the sharpness of the blow. Then a punch spins my head to the side and I'm dazed. Pinned to the ground again. I can only hold up my arms and turn my face to the side while she pummels the front part of my body. Finally I clamp my hands around her throat. Squeeze. She gags and tries to pull my hands off but I have the wild gleam. The same gleam I got when I shot the stupid bank teller in the bank, trying to be a hero. Taking the one second I turn around to call the cops. I shoot him dead in the head. The crowd gasps.
Wait, it's not just the crowd anymore. I blink open from the red haze surrounding my vision. Marlene is staring at me, her eyes dead. Dead. I let go and she flops onto the floor. No one says anything, just gazes at me. Even Amy is speechless. The guards that were hurrying towards us stop dead in their tracks. I hang where I am, in limbo. No idea what to do next. Then I remember who I am, what I had been. Before I was sent to jail. Before I lost my heart to a bad boy who smoked weed and was years younger than me.
I feel a slippery sensation as I stare down at my only friend, the one I trusted with everything and anything. She was my router, the one who kept telling me what was right in the back of my head. I feel the sensation arrive at my lip and I taste salt. I reach up and touch it. It feels just like water. Just like shame and regret and depression and self-pity and emotional detachment.
Once I realize I'm crying, I can't stop. I don't stop. I lean over her cold body and scream into the air, cover up my eyes so I can't see anything. Warm arms support me and I'm carried through the prison. I grip Marlene's dead hand. I hear the Scot as he tells me it's okay, so stop crying. I smell the faint scent of death. I see an assortment of enraged glances to me. When I'm forced to break away from Marlene as she's transported, I cling to the Scot. Cry openly and loudly.
And then that's when I realize how much a piece of scum I really am.