Author's note: Thanks everyone! :D All the attention is appreciated! This word of the day was too perfect for me to pass up.

Collogue:

To confer secretly.

Chapter Two: Collogue

The nightmare never changed. Every night, Merlin saw Freya being dragged out of their humble home. Morgana would always speak a few words that sentenced his frightened wife to death, and then he was forced to watch her be beheaded.

In the beginning, he had tried to prevent Freya from being murdered but always in the nightmare, no one could hear or see him. He was a ghostly witness to her murder.

It hurt him to watch her look so frightened. It killed his heart to see Morgana, a woman that had once been his dear friend, order the murder of Freya. Merlin hated the nightmare. The nightmare constantly unearthed the guilt that he constantly felt. He should have been there to protect Freya and Irena but he had chosen to protect Arthur during that dark time.

Ever since Merlin met Freya, his destiny had become his personal thorn. In the beginning, he had been able to ignore the slight pricking. Now, after Freya's murder, he was tempted to pull the thorn out. If Arthur was murdered Merlin would no longer have a destiny to be faithful to.

Now Merlin did not constantly think of all the accidents that could befall Arthur but he often considered how life would be easier for Irena and him if Arthur was dead and yet he refused to let some sorcerer murder Arthur.

Merlin had once tried to imagine his life without Arthur in it. It was a life that was somewhat more peaceful without the most gracious presence of Arthur. Merlin had also found that without Arthur in his life, he had more time to spend with Irena. Unfortunately, he found that he actually missed the prat and so a decision had been made. Arthur would live to create Albion.

There was a slight problem. Uther was utterly mad after the imprisonment that Morgana had forced upon him and so Arthur was made king. So far no changes were made to any laws that regarded those that used magic and Merlin was growing tired of waiting for the change to come.

Merlin was willing to wait a little longer. He wanted to believe that Arthur wouldn't become like Uther but he's hope was quickly fading.

"Daddy," Irena quietly whispered as she gently shook his arm.

He turned his head towards her. She looked frightened.

"What's wrong, Irena," Merlin carefully asked her.

Merlin tried to hide how tired he felt. Irena, even though she was just three years old, had a habit of mothering him.

"You were just sitting there so quietly, Daddy," Irena quietly continued, "you were glaring at that wall. Is everything all right, Daddy?"

"Everything is fine," Merlin lied.

"Did a nightmare wake you up?"

Merlin softly smiled at her.

"A nightmare did wake me up but I've almost forgotten all about it," he reassured her.

He loathed the idea of Irena worrying about him. She was his to protect. It was not her responsibility to worry about him.

"Okay, Daddy," Irena confidently replied as she settled back into the pallet, " When do you need to go to work, Daddy?"

That question got his attention.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to be a little early," He contemplatively muttered under his breath as he watched the light trickle through the open window.

"Daddy?"

"You feeling hungry," he quickly asked her.

"Kind of," she replied.

"I'll take you down to the kitchens and we will see if I can find us some leftovers to eat."

"Okay, Daddy but don't you feel a little tired," she asked him with concern clear in her voice.

"I do feel a little tired," Merlin admitted to her.

"Then why don't you go back to bed?"

"I'll have to go to work soon enough," Merlin told her, " I would just like to make sure that you got enough to eat before I take you to work with me."

"I get to come with you to work," Irena repeated with her voice filled with wonder.

"You do," Merlin said as his eyes watched her with concern. Was this a normal way for a child to behave? Was the life that he lived negatively affecting his daughter? Was he a bad parent?

He was doing the best that he could for Irena. He constantly tried to balance caring for Arthur with taking care of Irena. With Freya dead, it became even harder for Merlin to keep the balance and Merlin thought that it might be easier to take care of Irena if Gaius and Arthur knew about her.

Merlin then quickly decided that he would kill Arthur without a moment of hesitation if Arthur's death promised a happier life for his daughter. He would joyfully forget that he'd miss Arthur once he was murdered. He'd eagerly forgot about what would never be if Arthur died. Irena was of far greater worth than Arthur, Merlin quickly decided.

"Daddy?"

"Irena," Merlin softly replied.

"I would love to come to work with you," she happily but quietly replied.

Merlin absentmindedly nodded before he asked her, "Are you happy, Irena?"

"What do you mean, Daddy," she carefully asked him.

"Are you...," he swallowed nervously before he continued, "happy with the way that we live?"

"Well, I don't know, Daddy," Irena frankly told him, "we've just changed that. Things are going to be different now."

"Things are going to be different now," he slowly agreed.

"It's too early to say if I am happy," she quietly confided.

"Were you happy before?"

"Before what," Irena asked him with her eyes wide.

"Before we spent the night here," he hesitantly clarified for her.

"No," she bluntly told him.

Merlin absentmindedly nodded, " Let's go find some food."

Author's note: I'm going to guess that not many are happy with this chapter. No promises will be made about Merlin's state of mind and no promises will be made about what actions he will commit. I'm not saying that he'll commit murder but I'm not saying that he won't. That particular chapter had not been written yet. ;) I truly believe that the next chapter will be longer. Merlin is a bot OCC but from my experience, young children have the ability to drive a soul up the wall. One constantly finds themself worrying about the safety of the child.

This chapter was meant to be longer but that just did not happen. :P Many apologies for the Semi Dark!Merlin and the not 2,000 word chapter!

I really would love to know what you think about this chapter! Even if you hate it please tell me what you hated about it! I'd appreciate it. I think I caught all the grammar mistakes but something could have slipped by me.

Anybody feeling confused by the chapter?

Please review? I'll try my best to remember to reply!