Yay yay, more reviews. Honestly, when I read the reviews you send in, it makes me really want to write more. Because I know that people are actually reading it and (I hope) enjoying it. OH MY GOSH. I'm watching the Tales of the Abyss OVA. Luke. Jade. EVERYONE. ;-; It's so beautiful…and now…the land's splitting apart while they nonchalantly chat about flowers?
…is that really supposed to be happening? Or did something totally screw up? NO. NO. This is NOT allowed to happen. WHY? Oh, there. Thank goodness. It's all better. Yes, this makes much more sense.
…okay, done. Now on with the story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of the Abyss, or any other random copyrighted objects that may happen to pop up in the course of this chapter. Who knows? I sure don't.
Florian watched in complete fascination as the screen was blocked out by the giant stupid Veoh Web Player Beta sign. No wait, sorry, let me start again.
Florian watched in compete fascination as both Jade and Bilbo performed their best renditions of Caramelldansen. In all honesty, it was one of the most amazing things he had ever, ever seen, although that wasn't saying much.
And then, as suddenly and inexplicably as it had begun, it stopped. Just like that, Jade ceased dancing, and stood there as if nothing at all had happened. He glanced over at Florian, and nodded imperceptibly.
Florian took the hint, and the music stopped. Bilbo was left doing Caramelldansen all by himself.
The crew looked around at each other, not sure what was going on, as Bilbo continued to dance.
"My, my," said Jade, pushing his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. "Whatever are you doing, glorious pirate captain?"
Florian looked from Jade to Bilbo and back again. He wasn't quite sure what was happening, per se, but boy, was Jade cool!
Bilbo, still dancing, stared at Jade. "What are you talking about? I thought we were having a dance-off, argh."
Jade just shook his head pityingly. "I'm not quite sure what deranged world you are currently in, but I don't see myself dancing. Actually, I don't see anyone dancing…but…you."
Bilbo finally stopped dancing, still staring at Jade. The crew all looked at him, not sure of what would happen next. Jade, however, was absolutely certain of what would come next, because he had calculated it down to the second, as only Jade can do.
"You do realize, O Captain Bilbo, that you've just made a gigantic fool of yourself," said Jade matter-of-factly. "Whatever will your crew think of you now? Who on earth would follow someone as ridiculous as you?"
Growling, Bilbo raised his massive fists into the air. "You started it, you long-haired landlubber!"
"Oh, dead, I'm not so well-versed in the language of the pirates, and therefore am not sure what exactly a 'landlubber' is." Jade shrugged infuriatingly. "Not that it matters. Look at your crew. Can they honestly trust a man who dances like an idiot in the middle of a battle?"
The crew started murmuring to each other, still unsure of what was going on, but sort of rather agreeing with what the funny glasses man was saying. Florian, for his part, hopped from foot to foot, so excited with the whole thing that he couldn't stop fidgeting.
Screaming, Bilbo lunged at Jade, who easily sidestepped.
"Temper, temper. If I were one of your crewmen, I wouldn't be too keen on following the orders of an ill-tempered, hulking, brainless giant like you."
And then Bilby spoke up, astounding all of the crew.
"He's right, Bilbo! You do have an awful temper!"
The crew mumbled in agreement, recalling the incident with the cannonballs.
"And, Cap'n, you aren't too bright, either," said Peg Legs, who actually had a degree in mathematics. The captain's lack of mathematical skills (i.e. 2+27) had always bothered him, and usually led to shorter supplies.
Florian hopped up and down, trying to see everything over the crowd of men who were just so much taller than he was. Unfortunately, the deck was wet, and no sooner had he begun jumping to an adequate height than he accidentally slipped, ending up slamming right into Bilbo's rock-solid side.
The crew was silent. Even Jade had shut up, although he was looking on with a bemused expression. Only Florian made a noise, just a teensy, tinsy little wimper.
And then Bilbo exploded.
"Little Lady!" Bilbo raged, "You are the worst swabbie I've ever employed, yargh! You can't mop, you can't listen to orders, you can't even keep your Godforsaken feet on the Godforsaken deck!"
Florian, sprawled on the Godforsaken deck, stared up at Bilbo with wide, frightened eyes. He was reasonably afraid of being smashed by Bilbo's might.
Suddenly, one of the crewmen, Gold Teeth, spoke up, interrupting Bilbo's tirade.
"Cap'n," he said, sounding irritable, "Little Lady ain't ever even done anythin' to you!"
"Yeah!" cried another crewman, one with amazing dreadlocks. "Hey, mon, tha t'ain't cool, mon! You be watchin' out for dat little one's feelin's, mon!"
Florian still didn't know what was going on, only that he had been yelled at, and now Bilbo was being yelled at. It was all so confusing; was this what the outside world was like?
"Yargh! Mutinous dogs!" cried Bilbo, as the crew exploded in protest.
Florian started when someone touched his shoulder. He looked up into the somewhat-frightening red eyes of Jade, who jerked his head towards the side of the Face Breaker. Florian scrambled up, which only took him about a forty-five seconds, and ran after Jade, who was already peering over the railing.
"See that down there?" Jade said, when Florian had joined him. He was pointing to an awfully-shoddy-looking vessel down below.
"Uh-huh," said Florian, nodding his head.
Jade sighed. "That, I am sorry to say, is my…boat. We'll have to use it, however full of leaks it may be, and, if we make it back without drowning, I will personally…say hello to Luke."
Florian cast a worried glance at the man who was telling him he might drown.
"Oh, don't worry," said Jade, "I'm sure it's perfectly safe."
"But I don't want to drown," said Florian in a small voice. And he didn't. It didn't sound very fun, and besides, there were lots more things he wanted to see.
Jade looked at him for a moment. "If it's any consolation," he said, "I don't exactly wish to drown, either. There's still a bit of…business…I have to attend to. Besides, if you drowned, Anise would probably kill me in an extremely unpleasant way."
Florian perked up at the mention of Anise, although it was in the context of killing in unpleasant ways.
"Well, now," said Jade, looking at the tiny wooden boat glumly. At least the boards covering the leaks had lasted so far. "Shall we be going?"
Florian, glancing behind him at the battle that was erupting onboard the Face Breaker, looked fearfully up at Jade, who looked back at him grimly.
"I've never been in something like that before," said Florian. "It looks scary."
Jade shrugged. He really didn't have time to console scared little boys. And so, in one swift motion, he hauled Florian up, tossed him over the side, and hopped into the rickety dingy himself. Although Jade remained neatly on his feet, and Florian ended up in a heap on the leaky bottom.
"There, now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" said Jade, pushing up his glasses. "And don't worry about that water down there. It probably won't cause us to sink for another thirty minutes, at least."
Florian realized, with horror, that he was sitting in a rather sizeable puddle. This was nothing like the Face Breaker. Speaking of the Face Breaker…glancing back, Florian saw something suspiciously black and smoky rising from the deck of the ship. And then, amid screaming and the clash of wooden swords, the ship burst into flame.
"Well," said Jade, his back to the exploding ship, "Full speed ahead."
Sorry it took a bit, I was really getting good at keeping the updates soonish. This chapter might be a bit short, but…I had to end it there, so I could start up the next one. Um…once again, thank you, readers. I always make sure to send you thanks in reply, so I hope you get those. Also, for those of you reading and not reviewing…shame on you. You'll never get cookies. Never.
And now, a special request! Poor little Florian has so few fanfics out there. It's up to you to save the world! Er…kind of! So, if you have the time, try posting some Florian fics of your own. I so want to read some. And Florian's so much more happy to write about than Ion because…well…you know. I don't want to spoiler anyone, but if you haven't gotten that far, then you shouldn't know who Florian is, and therefore you shouldn't even be reading this and need to go play Tales of the Abyss more. Okay, plea over. Until next time. :3