The rest of dinner was an awkward affair; Hermione's body was reacting in a way that was surprising her. Her heart was beating furiously and there was a lump in her throat. Her attempts to appear normal and unaffected were thwarted by her struggle to chew her food which felt like chewing cotton balls. She was having issues with swallowing it and she was receiving worried looks from Ginny and Harry.

Hermione just wished that dinner would be over and she could rush home.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Mrs. Weasley.

"Dessert? Hermione dear?"

"Oh no Mrs. Weasley, I really must be going I've got an early start tomorrow..." she replied standing up, ready to leave.

"Oh well..." Mrs Weasley looked disappointed but then her expression brightened "I know....Ill pack some apple pie for you to take home...just give me a minute dear"

Hermione watched in despair as Mrs Weasley took her time in putting away the dinner things and then informed her that the apple pie needed another 15 minutes in the oven. "I'm just going to wait outside, it's a little hot in here" She addressed the table and left the kitchen trying to avoid looking into anyone's eyes.

She stepped outside and breathed the fresh air deeply; she felt the lump in her throat diminish slightly. Hr mind was free to jumble over the rush of thoughts running through her head. It was now as well as confirmed that Ron was seeing girls, seeing girls, as in sleeping with girls, shagging girls. Who was this girl? Probably there was more than one. She let out a laugh, why was she surprised that Ron was sleeping around with women? Ron was gorgeous, he had been in 'Playwitch' magazine, and all the girls at the Ministry asked after him. Was it really a surprise that Ron had taken one of them up on their offer? She sighed sadly and contemplated her life.

Ginny burst out of the burrow at that moment ruining Hermione's moment of contemplation which was probably a good thing.

"Hermione! It's freezing out here! Come back inside!"

"I think I'm a bit feverish then, because I can't feel it" she replied, shaking her head and trying to avoid her inquisitive glance.

"....look mum doesn't know what she's talking about half the time...."

Hermione waited for her to finish her sentence, but she never did, by the look on Ginny's face it seemed as though even she didn't believe her own words. "Your mother doesn't have hallucinations Ginny, if she says she saw a girl leave Ron's bedroom in the early hours of the morning, then I'm pretty sure that's what happened..." she glared at Ginny, daring her to make another excuse.

Ginny couldn't so looked away and down at the doorstep she was standing on. "Do you want me to kill him? 'coz I would you know? You only have to say the word and I'll throw a hex on-"

Hermione held her hand up to signify silence. "Ginny...its fine, I'm fine, look I know Ron was seeing some girl at the Ministry, he told me they broke up but he was obviously just lying to me....It's not that big a deal Ok?"

"Well you're acting like it's a pretty big deal"

"...It was just a shock, but really I should have expected it. Ron's a man now...in his sexual prime, of course he wants to go out and get laid, what guy doesn't?"

Ginny looked as if she was going to say something but Hermione carried on. "...and who am I to stop him? I mean so what if I've got a little 'thing' for him? It shouldn't stop him from living his life...he's amazing, he deserves all the attention he's getting...he deserves what I cant give him" she finished sadly, her voice contained a deadly tremble which was on the brink of turning into a fully fledged sob.

"Oh Hermione" Ginny said softly, and moved to put her arm around her friends shoulders.

Hermione shook her head and tried to shrug her arm off. "No don't give me sympathy! Its my fault, I read more into the 'thing' we had more than Ron did I guess. It's my own stupid fault!" This time her words were hindered by sobs.

"no, no Hermione you're perceiving this all wrong...Ron does want you" Ginnys voice was laced with deep concern, her eyes wide and pleading.

"Maybe he used to, but were not the same people anymore, hes evolved into a man, and Im the same brainiac I always was"

"He fell in love with that brainiac"

"He never loved me, in fact I'm beginning to question that he had any romantic feelings for me at all...maybe I imagined the whole thing because I wanted him so badly?" She rubbed her hands tiredly over her face. "Is your mum ready with that pie yet? I want to go home"

"I'm coming home too"

"I thought you wanted to stay with harry for a bit longer?"

"Yeah well I'd rather go home with you, I don't want you to be alone, this 'thinking you're not good enough' thing is freaking me out...it's scaring me Hermione"

Hermione looked straight at Ginny surprised "I didn't mean to scare you Gin"

Ginny took Hermones hand in hers and smiled kindly. "Look Hermione, its scaring me because this isn't like you"

If Hermione was honest, she was scaring herself as well. Since the war, she had been busy nonstop, first, with Fred's funeral, then with getting her parents from Australia and then with interviews and starting careers.

For the past 4 months she had been working on drafting the laws for the equal treatment of house elves. She had cocooned herself in work, blocking worries about Ron out and forcing herself to focus on what was in front of her. It was a tactic that had helped her revise when she was in Hogwarts. It was what made her different from everyone else. Other people became distracted by their love lives or daily worries and found it difficult to concentrate. Hermione was the opposite, she could effectively block out her worries as long as she had some work to be getting on with, her mind was powerful, it needed constant stimulation. As long as she kept feeding her hungry mind and keep it occupied, it was unlikely to stray and start thinking about Ron. However since she finished drafting the new legislation her mind was free to roam, it was as if dams had been broken down and all she could do was face the reality.

"Hermione dear? Here's that pie..." Mrs Weasley had her head popping out of the kitchen door, her arm stretched out holding a dish. "Such a shame you have to leave so early, you will try and pop round more often wont you now that works a bit quieter?"

Hermione tried to compose herself a little, Mrs. Weasley could be exceptionally sharp sometimes and Hermione did not want her to catch onto the slight tremble in her voice. "Oh thank you Mrs Weasley, and yes of course I'll try to pop round more often...I'm sorry I haven't been able to much recently"

"I'm going too mum. I...erm...I have a head ache" Ginny explained.

Mrs. Weasley looked bewildered for a moment. "Oh...ok then...I guess it'll just be me and the boys...no doubt they'll be pestering me for more food...well I'll see you girls soon then"

They said their goodbyes and disapparated on the spot. Mrs Weasley entered the Burrow feeling slightly baffled by their hasty exits wondering if it had been something she'd said.