A/N: Okay, guys. I am sooo sorry it took me so long to update this chapter. I have been sooooo busy the past week. Forgive me? Chapter title and inserts of this part taken from my very favorite song (don't judge me, please) "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift.
Part Ten
If You're Still on the Ground
"Bella… I… it was worth it," Edward tried. I barely heard him speaking. I was staring, mouth agape, at the gaping wound that was exactly the right size for a… bullet. He'd taken a bullet for me. Edward had risked his life… to save mine.
"You… saved my life," I thought aloud. "Jake… he shot you." I hated myself for letting Edward get shot for me. And as I stared silently at the hole in the middle of his left hand, I found myself wishing more and more that he's just let the bullet hit me full-force instead of trying to cushion the blow. I deserved it. This was all my fault. I was a huge box of drama, and I'd let my guard down long enough to suck him in.
Warm, salty tears engulfed my face as Edward whispered, "I would do it again. And again, and again, as many times as I had to. I… I think I love you Bella," taking my face in his able hand.
"I… I… I…" was all I could muster. Did I love him? What a ridiculous question. Of course I was in love with him. But all of this felt too much like a dream that I couldn't get a hold of. I needed to grasp reality, I was sure. I was hallucinating. Not in a million years could I make myself believe that Edward had, in all actuality, muttered those six beautiful words to me, yet it seemed so real.
"You don't… I get it…" Edward said, quickly withdrawing his right hand. "I'm sorry if I've made you… uncomfortable, Bells. We can just… just be friends… if that's what you want…"
"I… no, of course not… Edward, I don't think you understand," I said, trying to lift my head off of the hard, white pillow it rested upon, to no avail. My head must weigh a thousand pounds, I thought bitterly. Maybe that's where this stupid dream is coming from. "I… am I awake, Edward? Are you… is this, all of this, a dream?"
"Bella, no!" he whispered hoarsely, and I could swear I saw a shadow of the tears he was trying so hard not to cry. He touched his cool, calming hands to my face again, this time moving them ever so gently back and forth. "I'm sorry. I know this is crazy… way too fast. Forgive me. I'll see you later."
He turned toward the door, only to be forced back toward me by Alice, who cleared her throat, reminding the both of us that she was still in the cubicle. "You two talk. I'm leaving," she offered, shooting Edward a don't-you-dare-leave-that-poor-girl-alone look with her beady, thinned eyes.
Edward nodded solemnly in her direction, and then turned to face me once again. "Just forget I said anything," he pleaded. I tried my best to vigorously shake my head, but I am certain it stayed virtually still.
"No. I love you, too. Really, I do." He had to believe me! "It's just… I never thought you would… I mean someone like you would…" He cut me off abruptly, crushing his lips against mine gently, so as not to injure me any further.
I broke the kiss first, to my disdain, for lack of breath. My lungs were still weak, and my heart was now beating intensely. "Bella?" was all he said, but his eyes bore into mine, a thousand questions surfacing. He wondered if he'd hurt me, if I was all right, if I needed him to leave, but at that moment all I needed was for him to hold me… forever, if that was even possible.
"No," I said in answer to his many unspoken questions. He gazed at me worriedly.
"Bella, I'm terribly sorry. Are you all right? Have I hurt you?" he voiced his concern, and I couldn't help but me touched.
"No," I repeated. "No, Edward, I just needed to breathe." He laughed, a sound that rang music to my ears. "Just… stay with me. Don't leave. Don't leave me here alone."
"Of course not," he answered, immediately pulling up a chair and grabbing my hand. "I'm here for you, Bells. Always. Never forget that."
"No, I won't forget," I promised, drowsy again. "I need you. I love you."
"I love you, too, Bella," he whispered sweetly. "Now get some sleep, love. You must be exhausted."
"But I want to talk to you…" I slurred, looking into Edward's eyes, sparkling brilliantly.
"Bella," he cautioned. "Now."
"I… maybe just a minute… or two…"
And I drifted to sleep just like that, my head resting gently on his chest, dreams of our future relationship overtaking my dwindling consciousness.
A/N: Okay, so I admit this chapter is a little short, but isn't it ah-dorable?
I cried while writing this because I used parts of a conversation that I had with a guy I thought I could potentially love last night. He admitted that the feeling was mutual, but then proceeded to call me a "big box of drama" (as featured in this chapter) that he needed to avoid. But never mind my personal problems. Tell me what you think of this little chapter. REVIEW if you want an update. Coming soon to a computer near you:
A Jacob/ Edward/ Bella confrontation.
So, again, I say "REVIEW!"