A/N: Okay, the reason I'm updating so frequently is because A. I am really enjoying writing this part (especially this particular chapter) and B. you guys are reviewing like it's your job! You rock my world for that. Chapter title borrowed from Styx hit "Blue Collar Man".

Part Twelve

Only a Heartbeat Away

Edward led the way up the stairs, through the hallway, and to the left before opening the door to a beautiful guest bedroom, decked out with lace curtains and cards that read "WELCOME HOME!" and "WE MISSED YOU!" Edward took a seat on the bed, allowing me to take in the room and the emotion that radiated from it. "I'll get all of your stuff from the Volvo, of course," he finally said. "Don't worry about that." All this time, I realized, Edward could not look me in the eyes.

"Edward?" I asked, attempting to get at least a glance in my general direction. When he did not so much as look up from the patch of carpet he was staring at, I decided to join him. "What is it?"

"The… the hospital," he whispered, as if it pained him to say it.

I understood, or thought I understood, what he meant immediately. "Is it Dr. Hudgins? He's just a flirt, Edward. Absolutely nothing to me. You have to know that." I reached out and took his uninjured hand. "It's true."

"I know that, Bella," he said, still refusing to look at me.

"Then… what is it, Edward? Please tell me. I… I love you…" I sobbed tiredly.

"No, no, Bella," he said, finally looking into my eyes intensely. "It's not that. It's just…"

I wiped a few stray tears away from my face before demanding more. "Just what, Edward?"

"He thought… he thought I hurt you." He said this barely above a whisper, looking away from me once again, but I heard it as if he'd screamed it in my ear. Bitter tears erupted again, hard as I tried to avoid it. "I would never… could never… Bella, I would die…"

"Then why all of this? Why did it upset you so much? I know you, Edward Cullen, and I know you would never do something like that! So why did you care what he thought?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Because… I felt almost as bad about letting that mutt Jacob hurt you as I would have if I'd been the one to… inflict your pain. It was almost as bad. You hurt just as much, Bella!" he ranted. "I hated knowing that I could have stopped Jacob for good. I could have taken the bullet, instead of being a wimp. I could have been the one that was traumatized, hospitalized for weeks! But instead I had to watch you suffer, and wonder how much better off you would be if I had just taken it like the man I pretend to be!"

"Edward!"

"I don't think you even understand, Bella. I need to protect you. And I feel terribly stupid for what I let happen," he continued.

"EDWARD!" I shouted, and he stopped.

"What?"

"Stop that. I love you. What do you think would have happened if you had jumped in front of that bullet from where you were standing! Hm? You would be dead. You said you loved me!" I cried.

"I do, Bella. I love you so much!"

"Well if you loved me, you would know that I can't live without you. I wouldn't have any will to live. Jacob would have shot me to death right after he killed you. Either that or I would have told him to, because the one thing that scares me most about this whole ridiculous experience is not that I was shot, not that I could have died, but that I couldn't imagine the searing pain of losing you. Not after all I've been through!"

He stared at me, awestruck. "Bella, love, I had no idea…"

"That I loved you so much? Well, now you know," I growled, turning my back to him. he pulled my arms open, turning me back to face him as he wrapped them around his back, and his own around my shoulders.

"Please, Bella, don't be upset."

I couldn't help it. He was so wonderful, so undeniably wonderful, and I couldn't help but wonder what I had done to deserve such a caring, amazing, jealous boyfriend. Weird as it was to say, Edward was my boyfriend. I couldn't imagine living a day without him. he was my life now.

"I really, honestly, love you, Edward," I sobbed.

"I love you-" But before he could finish, a resounding SLAM! Echoed throughout the house.

Edward's arms tightened around me protectively. "Bella, go to sleep."

"No, I… I need to… I want to see who it is," I pleaded.

"Bella, please. You're worrying me. I… go to sleep. I'll tell you about it later," Edward demanded. "I need you to stay away… for now… I can't… deal if…"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

A/N: Yeah, you bet I'm bad. Wanna find out the Who? What? When? Where? Why? Review now! Much love,

C.J.