A\N: Please go read my story 'Superheroes' and my new oneshot I just posted 'Going On Tour.' In Superheroes, Kevin, Joe, and Nick all have super powers, but Nick's is that he can turn into a llama. Going On Tour is about my mum's European tour and what happens when we run into the Jonas Brothers. And it's certainly not what you would expect...

Camp Revenge 2

Camp Revenge Season 2

Chapter 9: "My Favorite Mistake"

Mistakes. It's what makes us humans. No one is perfect, just like that Hannah Montana song. 'Nobody's Perfect!' Oh, and I officially hate that song because I officially hate her because on her new CD, she totally stole one of Bob Dylan's songs. Not even kidding. But, on with my rant on mistakes, no one can be perfect. There's always gonna be a little scratch on that brand - new car, or a speck of dirt on those brand - new Puma shoes, if you know what I mean.

"Jason!" I practically screamed when I saw him walking down the path.

He stopped dead in is tracks. "Shane…?"

I ran over to him. "You're twenty-one, right?"

Jason stammered for a moment. "Uh… I don't know. Am I? Is this a test?! Oh my God, I didn't study! I'm gonna fail!" He started crying.

"Just… calm down, ok?" I told him.

He nodded and exhaled. "Ok. Calm,"

"Take out your wallet…" I said.

Jason reached into one of his pockets. But then he stopped and started to break down in tears again. "I can't do it! I'm gonna fail! I'll be held back again! I don't want to be the oldest in my class – don't make me! Please!"

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" I screamed.

He choked back some tears. "Ok. I can do this. I'm the little engine that could,"

I nodded. "Yeah. Little engine that could; you can do it – all you have to do is believe in yourself," Oh, God. Now I sound like Mr. Rodgers. It's ok to feel sad sometimes…

Jason grabbed his wallet. "Ok. I have the wallet. Now what?"

"Look inside… and pull out your driver's license," I actually found it kind of amazing that Jason actually passed his driver's test.

He took out his license and handed it to me. "Am I under arrest? Is this why? Please don't make me to go jail! I'm innocent, I tell you – innocent!"

I checked his birthday on the license and when I confirmed he was twenty-one, I put the license back in his wallet. "Now I want you to go to the store and buy me liquor. Anything that has alcohol in it – get it,"

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't know… What's in it for me?"

"What's NOT in it for you?" I asked.

Jason smiled. "You're right! I'm gonna go buy you some beer!" He skipped down the path and I rolled my eyes, walking back to my cabin.

Thirty minutes later, Jason returned with two brown paper bags. I took them from him.

"So why did you make me buy you this again?" he asked.

"Because I just found out my uncle has a dirty mistress," I told him taking out the alcohol. I handed him a beer. He tried to open it up, but couldn't so I sighed, grabbed it from him, went to his car, and opened it using the door.

He gave me a confused look. "How'd you do that?"

I patted him on the back. "Magic,"

"Are you Harry Potter?!" He asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. I'm Harry Potter,"

His jaw dropped. "Am I a wizard, too? CAN I BE RON?! He's a ginger,"

I scoffed. "Why do I even waste sarcasm on you?"

"So you're not a wizard?"

"No," I confirmed, walking back to my cabin. Jason went with me and we sat there, drinking our alcohol.

By the time it was getting dark, Jason and I were sitting on the ground, leaned up against the wall. We only had one bottle of tequila left and we were sharing it. I took the bottle from Jason's hands. "Mine," I said, taking a swig of it.

"You get your Goddamn hands away from my alcohol," he said and grabbed the bottle from me.

I was so wasted that I wasn't thinking straight. Everything was all twisted and curved and I started hiccupping. Jason and I were laughing hysterically.

"So I said to this one guy, 'You don't park your car here! It's a fire line, no parking zone,'" I slurred.

We both erupted in laughter.

Jason stopped laughing. "Ok. So there was this one time, I was at some grocery store, right? And so I bought some carrots!"

We started laughing hysterically again. I banged my fist on the floor, laughing. "I can't breathe!" I laughed.

I grabbed the tequila bottle and chugged it, hiccupping. Jason and I both started laughing again. I ran my hands through his hair. "You're so pretty," I said and then put my hand on his chest, leaned in, and kissed him on the lips.

Then, Mitchie came in the room. "So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila," she said, and then looked down at me and Jason making out. "WHAT IS THIS?!"

I looked up at Mitchie. "Hey, Mitchie, you're looking awfully whore-ish today… whore-ish… is that even a word?"

"Are you drunk?" she asked, approaching us.

"I AM NOT DRUNK! I am by nature a loud, friendly, clumsy person. Besides, there's no 'I' in drunk," I said and took another swig of my liquor.

She grabbed the bottle of tequila from my hands. "Where the hell did you get this?!"

I pointed to Jason. "This handsome man right here," I said and leaned closer to him again.

We both started laughing again. I rolled over on my side and punched the ground. Then, I punched the wall and it made an indent. I just laughed at it and then Jason hit the wall as well.

I closed my eyes and reached for the bottle of tequila. "Where's the alcohol?" I asked.

Mitchie scoffed. "I'm taking it from you guys,"

Jason aimlessly reached for it. "Give it back. I bought it,"

She scoffed again and then left the cabin. Jason and I looked at each other and then started laughing again.

X X X

I woke up only to find myself on a heap on the floor. Jason and I were leaned up against each other. I muttered something and wiped the drool off my mouth. I leaned over and buried my head in my hands. I felt awful – like about to barf everywhere at anytime.

I slowly got up, grunting, and dragged myself into the bathroom and then puked my guts out. This is so not fun. Man, I hate hangovers. I barfed again and then flushed the toilet, laying down next to it. I closed my eyes and felt my whole body ache.

Uncle Brown came into the bathroom. "You're drunk,"

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "Not drunk – I have a hangover. I was drunk last night,"

He rolled his eyes. "I know what a hangover is, trust me,"

"Yeah. You and your dirty mistress must always get drunk and do the McNasty," I leaned over the toilet. "Oh God…" I muttered and puked again. I flushed the toilet and leaned up against the wall. "Ugh…"

"Dirty mistress? What are you talking about?" Uncle Brown asked.

"Mitchie's mum. Dirty mistress number… three, I think?" I held up four fingers, "Oh, yeah, I saw her all over you," I threw up again.

Uncle Brown sighed. "I'll go get you a banana; it helps with hangovers," He threw me a roll of toilet paper. "Clean yourself up – you're a mess,"

I took the toilet paper and wiped my mouth off with it. I stood back up slowly and then stumbled into the cabin. I looked over and saw Jason laying on the floor, totally passed out. I went past him and went into the dining hall. I got the weirdest stares from some people, my hair a mess, toilet paper roll in hand. I sat down at my table, put my head down and groaned.

"What happened to you?" I heard a voice I had not heard before.

"My uncle has a dirty mistress," I mumbled and slowly put my head up.

The girl looked at me. "Hi we haven't officially met - I'm Caitlyn,"

I gave her a pathetic wave. "If I wasn't so hung over, I would have actually introduced myself to you properly,"

"So you look like hell," she said.

"So do you," I murmured.

"Is that?" she asked. I looked up. "Do you have… is that barf on your face?"

I shrugged. "Probably,"

Caitlyn wrinkled her face in disgust. "Nasty," She took the roll of toilet paper off the table and handed it to me. "Use it. Now,"

I aimlessly reached for the roll but missed with epic fail and just slammed my head down on the table again.

Nate came over to us. "Where did you come from?" he asked.

"The apes – if you believe the Democrats," I said.

He sat down at the table and turned to Caitlyn. "When did he get here?"

She shrugged. "Two minutes ago,"

"What happened to you?" Nate asked.

"My uncle has a dirty mistress," I told him.

Mitchie stormed over to our table and groaned as she sat down. "I. HATE. MY. MUM!" she screamed.

I covered my ears. "Ahh… too loud," I said.

"Why do you hate your mum?" Nate asked.

"My mum is a filthy, filthy, whore," she said, attacking her plate of salad with a fork.

Nate turned to me. "Your uncle has a dirty mistress and Mitchie's mum is a filthy, filthy, whore? Is there some connection between the two?"

Mitchie and I both nodded.

His jaw dropped. "OH. MY. GOD! Your uncle is having an affair with Mitchie's mum?! That makes you two like… step cousins if they get married! Which is sooo wrong since you're dating and all!"

I scoffed. "Ya think?" I slowly stood up. "Now excuse me as I go puke my insides out,"

So let's face it. You'll never meet a perfect person. Perfect people do not exist. Not even God himself is perfect! I mean, after all, he let the devil create Hell. Are we just gonna take it like that? But then again, what do I know? I'm just a cold, heartless Atheist. So maybe even I'm not perfect. Shane Gray is not perfect. Hmmm... that's pretty deep. You know, that took me a lot of courage to say 'Shane Gray is not perfect' because, let's face it people, I'm pretty gosh darn amazing.