(AN): Look, I'm aliiiiiiiive! I actually got the new charger a few days ago, apologies, but I've been really busy. I was taking care of an injured person, you can't get mad at me for that. I also haven't gotten around to posting any oneshots. SORRY ASHI-CHAN! I haven't forgotten, I just have a hectic life. But I'm HOPING to get not only the one-shots, but the first chapter of one of my many, many MxM plot bunnies up very, very soon. No dedications on this one; I'm the only one of my friends who actually likes Misa. Yes, I admit it, I've always felt bad for her, because, as dumb and annoying as she is, to love someone who will never love you back... But of course, I had no problems coming up with 40 ways to torment her! Hahaha. Enjoy!

How to Annoy Misa

1. Kill Light.

2. Make fun of her pigtails.

3. Send her to Catholic school in response to her "unruly and inappropriate behaviour".

4. Steal her Death Note.

5. Force her to read a book.

6. Make constant blonde jokes.

7. Sniff her hair. When she asks you what you're doing, glare at her and walk away.

8. Burn her magazine pictures. Boo her commercials. Et cetera.

9. Create a poll: "Who does Light belong with, Takada or Misa?". Bribe everyone you know to vote for Takada.

10. Read LxLight fanfictions, preferably lemons, aloud all day.

11. Replace her entire wardrobe with conservative dresses.

12. Tell her she looks like a llama.

13. While watching the last episode of Death Note, fast forward to the scene at the very end where she's standing on the edge of a building and scream, "Jump, bitch!"

14. Start a rumor that she's not a natural blonde.

15. Start a rumor that she used to be a guy.

16. Call her "Little Orphan Annie". (For extra annoyance, dye her hair red as well.)

17. Make a t-shirt with a picture of the criminal who killed her parents on the front. On the back, put "In memory of the hero who kept her from being even more spoiled than she already is."

18. Set her up on a blind date with Near.

19. Ask her why her hair is BROWN in the first opening theme...

20. Accuse her of having an eating disorder and send her to a body-image support group.

21. Ask "How do you keep a slut in suspense?" Then walk away.

22. Use big words.

23. Throw a bucket of water on her- "to see if you'd melt"

24. Cut off her pigtails.

25. "Misa Amane- A fiercely loyal and lovably ditzy girl with blonde hair"... A golden retriever?

26. Tell her that the reason shinigami keep falling in love with her is that they keep mistaking her for one of them.

27. Kick her.

28. Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a piece of paper.

29. Pull a few strings and get her on the "worst-dressed list".

30. Kidnap her AGAIN.

31. Install infared cameras.

32. Shout random, made-up words into her face.

33. Glance at her stomach and say "I take it Light's the father?"

34. Then congratulate Light.

35. Tell her that Light has a new plan to defeat L, and all she has to do is put on a cheese costume and dance the hokey-pokey in the middle of a crowded subway station.

36. Hit on Light.

37. Break into her apartment and put bananas in random places. When she asks you if you know anything about it, look at her seriously and say "You have been contacted by the brethren. Hail the brethren."

38. Send her a ton of chain letter emails.

39. Put pieces of cake all over the floor so she's bound to step on them (because we all know how much she loves that...)

40. Tell her Light wants her to relinquish ownership of her Death Note. Two seconds later, touch her with a piece of the same Death Note and tell her Light wants her to make the Eye Deal again. Repeat until her lifespan has been cut in half so many times that she's dead on the floor in front of you.