The next day JJ walked into her office. Her desk was covered with files, but she couldn't seem to work up the enthusiasm to do anything more than stare at them. All she could do was recall the events of the night before over and over in her mind.

After dinner she tried talking to Spencer, apologizing to him about answering Will's call, but he just gave her a forced smile and told her it was alright. She should have known it was him and kicked herself for giving him her card.

She finally gave up any hope of working until she talked to someone, but who to confide in? Hotch was out since he was their superior and might be forced to transfer her or Reid if he found out about their relationship. Derek was out because he was, well, Derek. Jason was giving a lecture at the FBI Academy and she didn't know Emily enough to confide in her. That left Garcia.

JJ nervously approached Penelope's computer room. She had been seeing Spencer for over a year now, but she had never told her friend about it. Garcia had done a lot to try and get JJ to talk, but she'd never been successful. She knew her friend would not be happy with her.

"Hey, you got a minute," JJ asked, poking her head in the room.

"For you, absolutely," Garcia said, swiveling her chair to face her friend. Looking at JJ's face she noticed something was wrong. "What's going on?"

"Before I tell you anything, I need you to promise you won't get mad at me."

"JJ, I could never be mad at you. Unless, of course, you were in some type of relationship and didn't tell me, in which case I'd have to kill you." When she saw the look JJ was giving her she exclaimed, "You're involved with someone and you didn't tell me? JJ! How could you! I'm your best friend."

"I know! I'm sorry, it's just that…"

"Forget explanations," she interrupted waving her hand, "what's he like? Do I know him?"

"Yeah, you know him," JJ sighed. "It's Spencer."

"You got involved with Reid and you didn't tell me! This has to be recent…"

"Define 'recent'."

"As in the past month," Garcia answered. When JJ just stared at the floor, she rolled her eyes and asked, "How long has it been?"

"We started dating after the football game but it wasn't anything serious."

"When did it become serious?"

"Remember when Elle was held hostage on that train in El Paso?"

"That was a year and a half ago," Garcia exclaimed.

"I know, and I'm sorry. We just thought it would be best if no one knew."

"You couldn't even tell me?"

"You would have told Derek the first chance you got." Penelope started to argue, but realized it was true and quickly shut her mouth.

"Fine, I'll forgive you on one condition."

"And that would be?"

"Tell me the story about when you guys got serious." Before JJ had the chance to argue, Penelope quickly cut her off saying, "It's the least you owe me keeping me in the dark all this time."

"Alright," JJ sighed. "We were all standing around the command center near the train…"

--

JJ couldn't remember the last time she'd been this scared. It was hard enough watching Elle trapped in the train car, but now Spencer was going in. She stood quietly in the back of the group and watched as he volunteered to go in and then argued with Derek. She was inwardly screaming at Spencer to just teach Derek the stupid trick and let him risk his neck. Let her friend risk his life, not the man she loved.

Hold on, where had that come from? She didn't love Spence. Sure she cared for him, and he was a cut above the losers she dated in the past, but love? There's no way, she couldn't love him. She missed most of the debate among the team convincing herself she didn't love Spencer, but when she looked back at the group and locked eyes with Spence, she knew it was true. Somewhere along the line she'd fallen in love with him.

She watched helplessly as he strapped on the bulletproof vest and listened to Derek's last minute instructions. When he asked, "Could one of you look like you're going to see me again?" he seemed to be looking right at her and she wanted to cry right there. When she heard the gunshot, she felt her heart stop. She had been in the command center, her back to the monitors when it had gone off. She quickly turned around to see Dr. Bryar slummed in the seat and Spencer standing above him.

She had been so shaken up, she found a chair and sat down until she was sure she could put on her usual calm demeanor. When she finally left the command center in search of Spencer, she found him sitting next to Elle in the back of a police car. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but she did see Reid smile and nervously tuck a strand of hair behind his ears while Elle smiled at him flirtatiously. She felt a jealousy and anger mix with the fear she had been feeling earlier. She quickly turned and walked away, so intent on putting what she'd seen behind her that she didn't hear Spencer come up behind her.

"Are you alright," he asked as soon as he'd gotten her to stop.

He had been held at gunpoint by a man who heard voices and believed the government implanted computer chips in him and he was asking her if she was alright. She almost laughed but the quickly remembered that she was supposed to be mad at him for flirting with Elle. "I'm fine," she said quickly.

"Are you sure," he asked, clearly not believing her.

"Yes I'm sure," she snapped. "Now I'm sure Elle is waiting for you…"

"I told her I'd be by later. I don't even think she's at the hospital yet."

JJ could feel herself getting angrier, and before she said something she knew she'd regret, she turned away from Reid and headed for the command center. Confused by her actions, Spencer quickly caught up with her again, grabbing her arm to force her to stop.

"What do you want Reid," JJ asked, barely containing her temper.

"D-Did I do something wrong," he asked, fear written all over his face.

She cringed internally at her own actions before forcing a weak smile and saying, "No you didn't."

"Then why…"

"Not here," JJ said, cutting him off. "We'll talk once we get back to Quantico, I promise."

"Where do you want to talk?"

"My place, just make sure you bring something to eat."

"Ok," he said with a shaky smile. "I'm gonna go with Hotch to the hospital. I'll see you on the plane."

"Alright," JJ said. She stood where she was for a few minutes watching him leave before heading into the command center to get her stuff together.

--

"Let me get this straight," Garcia said, bringing JJ out of the memory. "You find out you're in love with Reid when he decides to pretend to pull a computer chip out of a psychotic's arm and almost dies before you get the chance to tell him. Then you get angry with him for supposedly flirting with Elle so you ended up not telling him."

"That about sums it up."

"Wow," Garcia said, staring off into space.

"Yeah," JJ replied, same expression as Garcia.

"Wow..."

"Yeah."

"So what happened after you guys got back to Quantico?"

"He showed up at my door with Chinese food and I told him how I was scared when he volunteered for the train and later jealous of Elle."

"And what did he say?"

"That he was sorry for causing me to worry, but he was the only one who could do the trick and convince Bryar that the chip was removed. Then he proved to me why I shouldn't be jealous of Elle."

"How'd he do that," Garcia asked with a sly smile.

"I will leave that to your overactive imagination," JJ answered laughing.

"So did you ever tell him you loved him?"

"Not until Lila Archer, and he said it first." When Penelope raised her eyebrows, JJ said, "I really don't feel like telling that story so don't ask."

After a pause, Penelope asked, "So why are you telling me now?"

"Because Spencer is upset. I'm pretty sure it's my fault and I need advice."

"What's wrong?"

After JJ had told Garcia what happened the night before, Garcia said, "You bought a house together? How come I didn't find it? Me, the information queen! How did I not see that you had gotten a house together?"

"Focus Garcia," JJ said.

"Sorry. Anyway, how did Det. LaMontagne get your cell number?"

"I kind of gave it to him," JJ said sheepishly.

"Why would you do a thing like that," Garcia yelled.

"Because Spence was acting weird and I could tell something was wrong. I kept trying to talk to him, but every time he'd brush me off. I confronted him just before we left for New Orleans, and he yelled at me."

"Reid can yell?"

"Yeah, he can," JJ said, forcing herself not to cry at the memory.

"What did he say," Garcia asked.

"I really don't want to relive the conversation, but let's just say it wasn't all that pleasant," JJ quickly said, her voice cracking a little. She took a minute to compose herself and quickly wiped the tears that were forming. "So when Det. LaMontagne started flirting with me, it was easy to forget everything for a while, all the problems Spencer and I were having, and I started flirting back. I didn't know where Spence and I stood, so on impulse I gave him my card with my cell number on it."

"So what happened after you got back from New Orleans?"

"Spencer came to see me in my office. I had just finished making reservations for a hotel when he walked in. He apologized for what he said, for the way he'd been acting. He told me that he had been abusing dilaudid, and after talking with Gideon he had decided to get help and start attending NA meetings. He told me he understood if I wanted to break up with him and move out, and I told him that I wasn't going anywhere and cancelled my hotel reservation."

"Oh my God…"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God…"

"Are back to this again," JJ asked.

"Sorry, it's just… Oh my God…"

"Let me know when you've got something more useful to say."

"Ok, ok, I think I'm good," Penelope said after a few moments. "Here's the deal, poor Dr. Reid is suffering from old fashioned jealousy."

"What do you mean?"

"He screwed up, and he knew it. He had to have seen you flirting with LaMontagne in New Orleans and the fact that he called you late last night and ruined his moment has to have him thinking you're better off with LaMontagne than him."

"I don't think that!"

"I didn't say you did. I said that's what's probably going through his head."

"What should I do?"

"You need to convince Reid that he has no reason to think that."

JJ was quietly contemplating Penelope's words when Emily stuck her head through the door. "We got a new case: Hotch decided we're going to California for the serial arsonist case. Briefing in five minutes."

"Duty calls," JJ said to Garcia. "We'll talk later."

"You know how to find me if you need me doll face," Garcia said, turning back to her babies.