Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
Thanks to my beta, icrodriguez. I really couldn't do this without her.
Now everyone, I hope you enjoy. :D
Chapter 4 - Touch Me, Feel Me, I'm Yours
She watched Edward walk into her home, the home that she stayed in every day and every night all by herself. It was a home that she never wanted to come back to but had no choice. It was a living memory of her solitude. But where was she to go? What was she to do?
Bella was frightened of what her future held for her. Frightened of not knowing if this state she was in was permanent or a fleeting occurrence. Bella had always wanted to be ignored, to fade into the background. She hated any form of attention and shied away from any chance at being in the spotlight, but she had no idea that it would lead to her current predicament. She had no idea that she would actually disappear completely – never to be seen or heard again. Until now.
She watched Edward intently as he walked the length of the living room, his eyes catching everything the four walls held. He looked at every picture she had out – none of which were of her or her family.
"Are any of these you?" he asked eagerly, his eyes sparkling.
"No, I'm afraid not," she said softly. "Just some friends from the places I've been, my nannies, and a couple of my Papi. Maybe I'll show you some of me later." If she could find any, that is. It wasn't common of her and her parents to take any pictures together, and Bella tended to shy away from cameras when they were out.
He glanced in her direction from over his shoulder. "I'd like that."
He turned back to the items decorating the room. He gazed at every painting that her mother's interior decorator had placed on the light green walls, every knickknack that adorned the tabletops, most of which were not hers. His long fingers brushed the fabric of the furniture as he moved with grace about the room, studying everything his eyes found. He smiled at the CD's Bella had scattered out by the stereo and the book that was spread out, face down, on the leather chair by the window.
Bella didn't understand why she wasn't afraid of Edward. She knew she should be, but she just couldn't bring herself to truly be scared of him. He had showed nothing but kindness to her since they met. For some strange reason, he cared about her, cared about what was happening to her, and she was grateful that he had entered her life, even if it turned into only a brief moment that would disappear just as surely as she had.
Bella first saw all of them in the cafeteria earlier that day, and she couldn't help but notice that they didn't eat a bite of food during lunch. It remained uneaten and untouched until it was thrown away, before they glided gracefully out of the cafeteria. She instantly knew something was different about them, and she didn't know why. Perhaps it was because there was something unusual about her that allowed her to see that they were different too. Their skin was ghostly pale, all of them exceptionally beautiful, especially Edward. They moved with an inhuman grace whenever they walked, and they all had the strangest shade of eyes she had ever seen. These things just weren't natural, almost inhuman.
Even when she had a class with the smaller one, Alice, she still couldn't quite pinpoint what they were. At times during class Alice's eyes would glaze over and she would get a faraway look in them. Her body would stiffen each time, not a single muscle moving, not even to breathe. These occurrences only piqued Bella's curiosity. Alice seemed to be there but gone at the same time. Not only that, but the blonde boy that Alice was so close to seemed almost pained to be in the vicinity of people. It was strange how he would glance at them, a hunger in his eyes - a want and need burning in them - and then look away in disgust.
She remembered watching them in the hall after her and Alice's class together and she couldn't figure out why he would tense up whenever someone would pass by. He would glare menacingly into the distance, seemingly trying to fight off some sort of internal battle with himself. Alice, at one point, leaned up and whispered something in his ear. It seemed to relax him immensely, and they strode hand in hand out the doors into the cool Forks air. It was all very peculiar, to say the least.
Bella thought about asking Edward straight out what he was – what they all were - but she didn't want to upset him. She was afraid it would scare him off and she didn't want to lose him. She realized, sadly, that she needed him. She had never really needed anyone before, but she needed Edward now. That in and of itself should have frightened her, as well as the fact that she barely knew him, yet couldn't stand the thought of being without him. Yet they didn't. She embraced it. She had never had that before with anyone.
"I would offer you something to drink, but all I have is water," she said, walking up next to him, trying to start up conversation.
He turned, inhaling her scent. "It's alright, I'm not thirsty." For water, he added in his head. Though, he wasn't concerned about being around Bella. He jarringly realized that he would rather die than hurt her.
"Bella," he asked hesitantly. "What do you do about your clothes? Surely they must get dirty."
Bella cleared her throat awkwardly. This was such an odd conversation. "Yes, they do. I have to wash them constantly."
He frowned and looked to where she stood behind him. "You can't wear your other clothes?" He paused. "You are stuck in what you wore the first day it happened?"
Bella sighed and tugged on a lock of her hair. "Well, when I'm home by myself, I can where my other clothes. They're still visible, so I can't where them outside." She smiled to herself. "For obvious reasons it wouldn't be very advisable to do that."
Edward laughed. "I suppose not."
"The clothes I was wearing the day it happened, they disappeared along with me, so I have to rewash them constantly in order to wear them outside."
Edward nodded. "They must get awfully worn with all the washing."
She nodded and tugged at the frayed hem of her sweater. "I suppose they do. It doesn't matter though. I'm the only one who can see them."
Edward titled his head at Bella and took a small step toward her scent. "Do you have a reflection, Bella? You said you were still able to see yourself, correct/"
"No, I don't, actually. It's odd in fact. I mean, when I look down at myself or at my hands, I can see me, but when I look into a mirror, I'm not there."
"Hmmm," Edward mused. "I just can't understand why."
Bella moved her shoulders in a shrugging manner. "I've stopped trying to figure it out, to be honest with you."
Edward stepped closer to her and found her hand. It trembled softly and Edward thought that perhaps his questions were upsetting her. He was going to change the subject so as to ease her tension, but then something simply horrifying occurred to him.
"Bella," he said. There was an edge of worry in his voice. "Do you have food in your house?"
She shook her head. Edward could hear the movement of her hair against her shirt, and feel the breeze that her movement stirred, casting her scent in his direction. The shock of her aroma was not due to his need to feed on her, but rather his strange need to hold her and breathe her in. Everything about her consumed his senses.
"No, I don't," she responded. "Why do you ask? Are you hungry?" Though, she knew that couldn't have been the case. He had not eaten a thing in school, why would he now?
He shook his head. "No, I was just wondering about you," he said. "How do you eat if you have nothing here? You can't simply go into a grocery store and buy something, now can you." Edward wondered if she ordered her groceries off line just like the flowers she spoke of earlier.
She laughed lightly. "Oh, well that's simple. I don't eat," she answered easily.
"What? Why not?" he demanded. How could she not be eating? Was she trying to starve herself?
"Calm down, Edward," she soothed. His genuine worry was flattering but unneeded at this moment. "It's not like I'm trying to starve myself or anything." It was as if she had read his mind. "I just don't need to eat. I don't need to drink anything either."
He opened his mouth to say something, but was at a loss of what, exactly to say. Why would she not need to eat or drink? She was human after all and needed sustenance to live.
"You don't need to?" he asked slowly. He was confused.
"Nope," she retorted quickly, not seeing the big deal. For some odd reason it never occurred to her to wonder about it.
He moved to the couch and sat down. "I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how you don't need to eat, how you don't need fluids. Everyone does."
"I'm not sure. I just never get hungry. I don't sleep, either." Edward was surprised by this. She quietly sat herself down beside him and Edward watched as the cushion beside him sunk with the weight of her body. "You know," she began hesitantly, not sure if she should continue with her current train of thought. "I could ask the same about you."
Edward's eyes widened fractionally, but he recovered quickly. He hoped that Bella had not noticed his surprise, but she had. Being invisible gave her the opportunity to study people; every nuance, every facial movement, every minute change in posture. She had become an expert at reading people very well and Edward was no exception. She realized that she had hit a nerve with him, but she wasn't entirely sure that she was happy about that. She did not want to upset him or cause him to leave, and she found herself suddenly afraid that she had navigated into uncharted territory.
Edward cleared his throat nervously. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." He looked briefly at the clock on the mantle and then back to Bella. "I should probably be getting home. My parents will be wondering where I have gone to."
He got up to leave but Bella caught his wrist immediately. She knew she shouldn't have said anything. She had just managed to scare off the only person in months to notice her.
"Please don't go," she begged, her breath catching in her throat. Her eyes began to water at the thought of him leaving. She knew she sounded pathetic, but he couldn't fault her for that could he? She had been invisible for months, after all, and she only just found him. She couldn't lose him now.
That jolt shot right through Edward again the moment her fingers found him. No one's touch had ever done that to Edward before, but he longed for that feeling whenever she wasn't touching him. He found himself wanting to constantly reach out to her and grab her in his arms, to let that feeling course through his body – to lose himself to it. Surely he was not the only one who felt it. She must be feeling that spark whenever their skin met; that electric shock that sent flames shooting through his veins. He didn't like the possibility of knowing that he might be alone in this, that he might be the only one feeling it. He needed her to feel everything he was feeling.
Edward closed his eyes as her fingers grasped his cool skin, her warmth burning him, melting him. He didn't want to leave her. He wanted to stay with her always, but he needed to go before she figured out what he was. She was already too suspicious. He was crossing so many lines as it was by being here now. He was not supposed to reveal his secret to humans. He was meant to protect it at all costs. It was a major violation of Volturi law. He was supposed to keep his distance. And he always had…until now.
But did he really care about any of that? The answer was simple. No, he didn't. The more he was in her presence, the more his mind swam with thoughts of her, the less he found himself caring about the rules of his world.
"I'm sorry I said anything, Edward. I didn't mean to upset you." She released her hold on him and Edward wanted to cry out for her touch.
He sat back down slowly, knowing that he would never be able to deny her anything. "It's alright, Bella. It's just-" He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. Bella had to grip her leg in order to keep herself from doing that for him. "I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be with you."
Bella could already feel the first sting of tears. So she was losing him. "Why not?" she asked in a strained voice. Could he hear the hurt in her words, the pain that the knowledge of losing him was causing her?
His head bowed as he looked away from Bella. "Because it's not allowed," he said on a whisper.
She frowned, not understanding. Why wasn't it allowed? "What do you mean?"
He was leaning over, his elbows on his knees, his arms dangling freely between his legs. He looked the picture of ease, but when he glanced up at the spot where she sat, she could see the torment in his eyes – the anguish clouding them.
"I've already said too much," he whispered regrettably.
Not being able to contain herself any longer, Bella reached out to him and brushed her fingers through his hair before finally coming to rest on his cheek. His hair was so soft, so silky - just as she imagined it. Edward sighed loudly, his eyes fluttering closed, a content smile playing at his lips. He leaned into her touch and placed his hand atop hers, keeping it there. Turning his body towards her, Edward took her other hand in his. He wove their fingers together, his eyes never opening. He lost himself when he was with her, lost his sense of right and wrong, proper and improper. They weren't vampire and human. He was just Edward when he was with her, and she was just Bella.
"Please tell me you feel this," he begged desperately, the familiar sensation coursing through him. "Please tell me I'm not going insane."
Of course Bella felt it. She felt it the first time they touched and the strength of it only seemed to grow. It was like tiny flames licking her entire body, lapping at every inch of her, burning his touch into her, branding her as his. She had feared that he was not feeling it with her, but apparently she was wrong. This brought a peaceful smile to her face.
"Yes," she breathed. "I feel it." She could feel her pulse quicken, hear the blood rushing through her ears. "Does it scare you?"
He laughed softly and brought her other hand to his remaining cheek. "It scares me that I long for it. That I never want this feeling to go away."
Her smile deepened. The same thoughts had been running through her mind at that very moment.
"What's happening, Edward? God, I've only just met you, but I feel as if I can't bear to be away from you. I fear the moment you have to leave me." Bella was never one to be so open with her thoughts or feelings, but she found that she couldn't stop the words from coming.
He trailed his hands over her arms and to her shoulders, the fire blazing a path over her skin. He brought his hands to the sides of her face, his fingers in her hair, his thumbs gently stroking her lips. "I will never leave you," he vowed. And he knew this was the truth. She was his now, just as surely as he was hers.
He leaned in slowly, his eyes still closed. Bella could not believe this was actually happening to her. She felt her lids fall close, anticipation washing over her. Not a second later, his lips touched hers, and it was heaven on earth. It was the single most thrilling moment of her life. Edward's lips were firm and cool as he moved over hers gently, with a tender care that weakened her knees and warmed her heart. She knew she would never be the same again. They would never be the same again.
Edward's heart nearly leapt to life as his lips touched Bella's. This kiss, his first kiss, was magnificent, mind-blowing; utterly perfect. It was unlike anything he had ever imagined and he wanted to scream from the highest mountain of this moment to the world. The warmth of her lips, the supple softness of them, sent an all-consuming sensation over his marble skin. His body tightened in sheer exhilaration and he trembled with a want and need he never felt before now.
The world around them disappeared completely. He heard nothing but the frantic beating of Bella's heart and the movements of their lips as they danced together in perfect harmony. He felt only her and sensed nothing but her. It was as if they were the only two people on earth. The kiss lasted for a few miraculous moments, but it was enough to change everything as they had both come to know it. Edward knew that their lives would never be the same from this moment on and he knew she could feel the shift in their future as well. They were forever bound to one another, helpless to stop whatever was growing between them. Parting was not an option anymore. It never would be. In fact, it never really had been. They both felt it more deeply than they ever felt anything before. The rest of their lives started now.
I know a lot of you wondering about a few things. I promise we'll learn a bit more about what is going on with Bella thorugh with of the Cullen members. Stuff like, why she's invisible in the first place, why she can move objects and not touch people (except of course for Edward), and why she doesn't need to eat or drink. I hope the explanations are to your liking. :D Please let me know what you think.