"What cha doin'?", Gabriel nudged Crowley with his nose. Crowley opened one eye and bared his teeth at Gabriel.
"None of your business", Crowley said and closed his eye again.
"I'm bored", Gabriel whined, nudging Crowley again. "Come on, lets go explore."
"Whatever for?", Crowley murmured and tried to ignore Gabriel as much as possible.
"Who knows what secrets Bobby has hidden around here. We have the perfect cover"
Crowley's ears perked up at this.
"We can steal all his favourite caps and bury them outside", Gabriel wheedled and huffed when Crowley didn't move again. "I promise I will not stop annoying you until you agree."
Crowley opened his eyes and raised his head.
"Alright, fine" Crowley hopped up and stretched out.
"Awesome", Gabriel yipped "Race ya!"
The little brown Chihuahua zoomed off down the corridor while Crowley shook his head. Bobby stuck his head over the couch and eyeballed Crowley for a moment before looking out towards the kitchen.
"Where's the other one then?", he murmured to himself, then grumbled something about not getting over how stupid a name like Snookums was.
"Crowley!", Gabriel barked from the other room. Bobby looked back down at him, a suspicious look in his narrowed eyes. Crowley waited for the old hunter to sit up and suddenly proclaim that he knew who Crowley was.
Or produce a shotgun.
But all Bobby did was shrug and turn away.
"Crowley, Crowley, Crowley!", Gabriel chanted using a different voice for each time he said his name "Crowley! Crowley! Crowley! Crowley! !"
"Jeeez, Snookums! Quiet!" Bobby growled in the general direction of the stairs and Gabriel stopped.
For about five seconds "CROOOWLEEEEEEY!"
"Shut it, Angel, I'm coming!", Crowley snapped and trotted off towards Gabriel. The Angel really needed to develop a sense of patience.
"Finally!" Gabriel jumped up from where he'd been rolling around on the floor of Bobby's room.
"I see I minor flaw in your plan, Gabriel." Crowley sat down and stared at the hyper Angel jumping about the room. "Having no opposable thumbs means getting into cupboards and the such impossible."
"Have a little faith, Crowley." Gabriel mumbled distractedly as he wiggled his bum and stared at the top drawer.
"I'm a demon, Angel." Crowley narrowed his eyes as he watched Gabriel tense up obviously ready to jump. "I don't do faith."
Gabriel ignored his statement and jumped. Crowley watched as the small Chihuahua made it to the second drawer, wiggled in the air for a few moments then fall back to the floor in a heap.
"Okay." Gabriel got back up and crouched in front of the drawers again "Okay, I've got this"
"Really?"
"Noooo problemo!" Gabriel jumped again. Crowley gave up watching the Angel's failed attempts and explored the rest of the room. Digging up dirt on the Winchesters' most trusted ally would be priceless. He'd gotten to know a lot about Robert Singer in the many months he'd had his soul but this was behind enemy lines.
It also gave him the opportunity to get back at Singer for, well, everything he wanted to blame on the old hunter.
::::::
After the debacle that was Gabriel trying to get into Bobby's drawers followed by Crowley's subsequent boredom of watching him try, Crowley had decided to take a nap. It wasn't long before he could hear Bobby as he paced about downstairs, muttering and stomping. Crowley stood up and stretched before he jumped off the bed.
"Dean!"
Crowley snickered as he trotted out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Bobby sounded enraged. Perhaps he'd found all the missing pages in his favourite research book. Or perhaps the hidden bowl of rotten dog food in his cupboard.
"Goddamn son of a bitch!"
"Calm down!", Dean said as he backed away from the hunter as he stalked the length of the kitchen.
"Where's my damn cap?" The hunter spun around a couple of times. Crowley trotted over and sat in front of him. Bobby looked down and fixed him with a glare.
"This is your doing isn't it?", Bobby growled. Crowley responded by grinning and sticking his tongue out.
"Dean!", Bobby yelled thumping his fist on the bench.
"What?" Dean threw his hands up in the air. "It's not like I told him to do it. Maybe it wasn't even Zepp, it could've been Snook."
Gabriel trotted in, drawn by the commotion.
"This never gets old for you does it?" Gabriel chuckled as he sat next to Crowley.
"Never", Crowley smiled "His misery is extremely amusing"
"You don't have to come, Bobby, me and Sam got this" Dean looked over to the moose in question when he lumbered into the room then back to Bobby.
"I know I don't have to come, idjits" Bobby said peevishly before thumping off upstairs. Dean turned to Sam with eyebrows raised and mouthed 'What the?' before bending down to scoop Crowley up.
Crowley knew where they were going. It was a horrifying thought on its own but this was just taking the cake. Why did he have to be humiliated before being used as a prop by the Winchesters to get information in some sort of dog torture chamber.
"I strongly object to this", Crowley growled.
"Yes we know", Gabriel sighed, "You made it abundantly clear back at the house"
"It's demeaning."
"Think of it in a kinky way." Gabriel wagged his tail and grabbed Crowley's lead in his teeth and yanked. Crowley yelped, teetering sideways and falling into Gabriel.
"Be good Snookums" Sam frowned down at them while Dean chuckled. Crowley growled at Gabriel after he'd regained his footing and nipped at Gabriel's flank.
"Zeppelin! Bad boy" Moose admonished and tapped Crowley on the nose. He almost lost that finger as Crowley snarled at him and snapped his jaws, making Sam squawk and move as far away as the car would allow.
"Zepp, try not to eat my brother, alright?" Dean grinned down at Crowley for a moment before turning his attention back to the road. Crowley ignored the unamused frown Moose was giving him and scratched at his collar.
"At least you don't have a bell", Gabriel sighed, shaking his head to make the bell tinkle.
The rest of the trip in the car was uneventful, apart from Gabriel driving Crowley nuts with his little bell.
"I swear I will find a way to end you", Crowley growled after the fourteenth rendition of "Jingle Bells".
Dean pulled the car up to a row of shops and, apparently thinking that Chihuahuas couldn't use their legs, picked Crowley up and got out of the car.
"I'm not sure whether to be amused or horrified", Crowley said as they neared the entrance of the Puppy Pamper Palace.
"This is going to be great!", Gabriel panted, enthused as they entered.
"Horrifying, it is" Crowley looked on, shocked as the full torture of this place was revealed. The place was very busy, dogs and their owners milling about, there where dogs getting bathed, trimmed and, sweet Lucifer, dressed up.
"Well hellooo, Sandra." Dean smiled looking over at a pretty blonde who was behind a middle counter.
"Gonna be my wingman, Zeppelin?" Dean said as he held Crowley up so they were face to face.
"Seriously?" Sam raised an eyebrow.
"Dude" Dean put his cheek next to Crowley's. "Look how cute he is"
Sam was silent in response and Crowley couldn't blame him. Gabriel however can't stop snickering and Crowley growled at him.
To Crowley's immediate horror, they made their way over to the counter where all the costumes were.
"Sandra, nice to meet you" Sam smiled nice and wide "This is my brother Dean and our two Chihuahuas"
"Zeppelin and Snookums" Dean made sure to point to Gabriel as he said the last and put Crowley down on the counter.
"Oh they're gorgeous!" Sandra gushed playing with Gabriel's ears, she looked up Sam with a big smile. "Do you have an outfit for him? I bet he'd look handsome as an aristocrat"
"Uh, no I don't have any outfits" Sam replied somewhat stiltedly. "Seems like business is going well"
Sandra turned with a twirl then back, holding two outfits that looked ridiculous. "It's amazing considering"
"Try and put that on me" Crowley bared his teeth "I dare you"
Sandra raised an eyebrow and looked over to Dean.
"Not shy is he?" She put the small sailor uniform down on the bench. Dean picked up Crowley and shrugged.
"What did you mean 'considering'?"
"All the attacks" Sandra dropped her voice and lent in closer
Crowley glared at Sandra one last time before he settled down in Dean's arms.
"It's so terrible, all those poor puppies" Sandra shook his head and stuck her bottom lip out "I'd only just seen Fluffles the other day"
"Fluffles?" Dean raised an eyebrow at Sam and cleared his throat "He, ah, she? Was the latest victim?"
"Yes and such a lovely dog" Sandra huffed and pulled one of the costumes off its hook and started to dress Gabriel. Crowley frowned as Sandra prattled on about how gorgeous Snookums was and how all the other dogs were all so special. He glanced up to see Dean trying to look interested while turning his face away and rolling his eyes before looking back with a large fake smile.
"So do you have any idea where these attacks are happening?", Dean asked quickly when Sandra paused for breath. She looked a bit startled at his outburst but recovered quickly still pushing and pulling Gabriel into some sort of ruffled fabric.
"Well, not really. It's not easy to get them to open up about that." Sandra sighed.
Dean gave Sam a look then cleared his throat just as Sandra stood back with a grin.
"Ta da!" Sandra exclaimed and fiddled with the ruffled collar around Gabriel's neck. Crowley looked over to the other Chihuahua and stared in shock for a few moments before bursting out in laughter. Gabriel looked ridiculous! Dean was making choking sounds while he tried to shove his fist in his mouth.
"Wow, this is –" Gabriel scratched at the ruffled Elizabethan collar and Crowley decided to finish the sentence for him.
"Absolutely priceless", Crowley chuckled "Oh if I only had my iPhone"
Sam seemed to be torn between horror and amusement.
"That's, uh, something I've never seen before" Sam grimaced a smile at Sandra's beaming face.
"Thanks for everything Sandra" Dean smiled over his choking fit and turned for the door.