Ichigo was used to the sight and scent of blood. There were times when the coppery tang had become his entire existence, but this was different. It was hers. And it was his fault entirely. He'd failed before. Failed to protect, failed to be strong enough, but this was a failure and betrayal on such a fundamental level he could hardly comprehend it.
He just kept coming back to the blood. He'd grown up surrounded by blood and pain, of course. When the family home doubles as a medical clinic, one can hardly help seeing things that would turn most people's stomachs, and seeing them at a much younger age than anyone would find appropriate. So Ichigo had a certain immunity to blood and pain. Especially since he'd caused his fair share to others, both before becoming a Shinigami in schoolyard scuffles and after.
But this blood made him sick. Literally. When he'd finally broken free of the front row seat to the horror show his hollow had been enacting before his own, helpless, eyes he had been propelled into complete control of his body, and propelled into a moment of complete ecstasy. Unable to stop or control himself at that moment of pleasure, he had been horrified by his body's enjoyment in hers, at least when he recovered enough from the moment to feel anything other than physical bliss.
And then he had thrown up. Thankfully not all over her. He'd done enough damage there already. But it made him even sicker with guilt to know that after finally regaining control of his body, his first two action and reactions had been purely to do with himself.
And the blood…
"You passed it"
"What?" Ichigo was so shocked he almost dropped the precious bundle of Shinigami he was holding. Rukia had said nothing at all since he had come back to himself. In fact, she had said nothing at all since the hollow had first placed the knife against her skin.
"You were going to Urahara's, right?" Rukia's voice sounded scratchy and weak, but since she had not screamed once after the hollow began his torture, it was likely more due to her straining to keep her screams in, than from actual damage to her voice.
"Yes" said Ichigo finally, feeling very stupid, "I'm taking you to Urahara's"
"Well you passed it."
Ichigo could only imagine the sight they must have presented when he burst into the little shop, yelling for Urahara. Both of them covered in blood, Rukia weak and wounded, and wrapped only in his coat.
Tessai and Yoruichi almost immediately took over, taking the bloodied Rukia to another part of the little store. Ururu eyed Ichigo warily before following and closing the screen with an audible snap.
Ichigo wandered out to the porch and sat, staring at nothing. He felt…numb. He was sunk into a bleakness that was beyond guilt or sorrow. He could think of nothing but her. Her eyes staring into the Hollow's as she stoically bore his perversions, pleading, not for mercy or charity, but for him, for Ichigo. Her frailty when he had carried her had made it harder to bear. Rukia was a tiny woman, but her strength of will, of character and of her personality always made her seem stronger and brighter than anyone else, at least to Ichigo. But as he had carried her, drained, weakened, and injured, he had been all too aware of he tiny form.
It seemed like seconds, or hours, or days when Urahara finally came and sat next to Ichigo on the wooden steps. His eyes were shadowed, but he seemed to be smiling at Ichigo in the darkness. "She'll be all right"
"Good" replied Ichigo, startled by the sudden sound of his own voice.
"Kurosaki-san, there are scars"
"Can't you heal them?"
"No. They have traces of death-stone in them." Yoruichi has suggested to Kuichki-san that Inoue Orihime might be able to heal them, since her healing powers work differently than ours."
"What can I do?" asked Ichigo.
"Be strong. Be stronger. And follow her wishes."
"I'm not strong enough…. I hurt her," said Ichigo staring up at Urahara.
"I can't help you" replied Urahara simply.
Ichigo looked away.
"But," added Urahara, tipping the edge of his hat up with his cane, "I know a group that can help. And so do you."
"The Vaizard"
Urahara said nothing. But he did smile.
A/N: sorry for the delay guys, I was at Anime Expo ). Anyway, next chapter we hear from Rukia again. Thanks for all the comments and support so far.