Disclaimer: Still not mine... though one day Mr Wolf and I may come to some arrangement.

It looks like the site has finally got its act together and all the alerts and reviews have come through - so we're back in business.

I am really blown away by the response to this story and it has encouraged me to write an epilogue for it. While I'm not sure how many more chapters there will be before it, there are about 15000 words left.

To all those who have been with me for a while and support all my work, a BIG thank you.

To all those new to reviewing my work, I appreciate you coming on board.

Go Hawks!! Premiers 2008!!

love Nettie

Happy 21st Birthday, Laura (MrsLee)

xoxoxinnocencexoxox

From the last chapter

The key was in the door and it was open before it registered with Olivia, quickly she jumped up and hurried to her bedroom, but not before Elliot had seen her. He looked towards his daughter and saw the same red, wet, blotchy face; he went to her first.

"What happened, baby?" he asked, gathering her in his arms, relieved she didn't resist.

"I don't know, daddy," she replied. "We were talking and when I looked up Livvy was really, really upset."

"What were you talking about?" he asked, drying her face. Lizzie hesitated and a frown creased her brow. "It's okay," he conceded, knowing there would be many conversations his daughter wouldn't feel comfortable in having with him. "You don't have to tell me."

She hugged him tighter before letting him go. "I'm okay, dad … please go check on Livvy?"

Chapter 7

Elliot kissed his daughter's head before making his way to Olivia's bedroom, knocking quickly he wasn't surprised when he got no response.

"Liv? Olivia?" he called as he opened the door and entered her room. He spied her instantly sitting on the floor on the opposite side of her bed, her knees drawn up and a pillow stuffed between them and her face, trying to smother her cries.

"Livvy," he soothed, dropping down and wrapping her up in his arms. He pulled her to him and settled her in his lap, gently pulling away the pillow. "What happened, baby?" he whispered, kissing her head and rubbing her arm. "Please talk to me," he begged, his eyes welling instantly at the raw pain he saw on her face.

Olivia had gone past the talking stage and just clung to him, the fabric of his shirt curled tightly in her fingers, Lizzie's words having summed everything up:

"Imagine what it would be like to have a child like that … every time you looked at it you'd remember that night … I couldn't do that … I just couldn't live like that."

A child like that … it …couldn't live like that…

That was her mother's life, that's what drove her to drink, and made her abusive and hateful to the 'it' she'd given birth to.

It was hard enough to hear her mother's perspective from Lizzie's mouth but when she had continued on about the life of the child her resolve had shattered.

"Imagine knowing you're only here because your dad raped your mom … that you weren't wanted … that … that… your dad was a rapist … I mean, how could you live with yourself … you'd wanna kill yourself … I wouldn't want that for anyone … and especially not a child of mine … It's just so sick."

Olivia didn't have to imagine that part, not now, not ever, she lived it daily. It was a life she wouldn't wish on anyone. It was a life she felt was cheapened by the manner of its creation and a life she didn't want but had no choice in.

She clung tighter to Elliot, of all the people in her life he was the one she trusted above and beyond anybody, even herself some days. She trusted him implicitly and that was the only reason she had finally allowed herself to fall apart in his arms. In the background she could hear something which resembled him talking but it was lost in the sounds of her own sobs.

Eventually exhausted Olivia relaxed her grip on Elliot and slumped into his body. She could feel his hands on her, his lips on her and finally she started to breathe. Her short sharp sobs gave way to deeper breaths and the increase in oxygen stopped her head from spinning.

"You're okay, you're okay." Elliot's words finally filtered through the haze.

"I'm okay," she breathlessly agreed. "I'm okay."

"That's it, baby," he soothed. "Just breathe, just breathe."

When her breathing became easier and evened out, Olivia rolled her head back slowly and looked at him, smiling sadly at the intense look on his face. "I'm okay," she whispered.

"I know, I know," he replied, kissing her nose. He paused for a few moments, as he readjusted them, so she was tightly cradled in his arms. "What happened, Livvy?" He didn't want to push but he had to know what had caused it all. She sighed deeply.

"Lizzie was scared about being pregnant…" she began.

"But he didn't rape her, did he?" Elliot bristled.

"No, no… she's just young and unsure … and I tried to explain it to her," Olivia sighed again. "Even said I'd take her to the doctor if she wanted," she said before pausing.

"Then what happened?" Elliot asked, knowing she was struggling to find the words.

"Um …" She thought about not telling him, about not letting him hear his daughter's words, but in the end she figured he'd find out anyway. "Liz said 'Imagine what it would be like to have a child like that … every time you looked at it you'd remember what happened … I couldn't do that … I just couldn't live like that,' and all I …all I could…" The words disappeared on her tongue as her tears fell once more.

"And all you could think of was your mom and what she would have been thinking?" he asked, caressing her cheek. She nodded, unsure if words were possible. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, kissing her forehead before wiping away her tears. "So sorry."

"So am I," she muttered, holding onto him tighter. "She must have been so scared…"

"Your mom?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, and Liz … at least mom was older but Lizzie's still a baby … she shouldn't even have to think about being made pregnant from that asshole," she sighed against his chest.

The quiet conversation was interrupted by Lizzie at the door.

"Livvy, can I come in, please?" she asked shyly.

"Sure, honey," Olivia replied moving from Elliot's lap and sitting back on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Liv … I didn't mean to upset you like that," Lizzie said, coming to kneel in front of her.

"It's okay, Liz …" she said, reaching over to take her hand.

"I just don't understand … why did it upset you so much, Liv?" she whispered.

"Lizzie," Elliot intervened. "I don't think now is the right time…"

"It's okay, El," she interrupted. "Come sit here," she said to Liz, patting the space between herself and Elliot. When Liz was settled, Elliot stretched his arm across to rest his hand on Olivia's shoulder, and held his daughter's hand with the other one.

"Lizzie," Olivia began slowly. "There's something you don't know about me and, given the circumstances, I think you should…"

Lizzie turned to look at her father quickly before looking back at Olivia. "Okay."

"My mother was raped … and that rape resulted in … me," she whispered.

Lizzie gasped and without words to express her sorrow at Olivia's origins or at the comments she had uttered herself, she flung herself at Olivia, muttering 'sorry' over and over again.

Before Olivia or Elliot could calm Lizzie down, Dickie appeared at the door.

"Um, Liv," he hesitated, unsure of what to do in the situation. "Um, Captain Cragen's on the phone for you."

"Okay, Lizzie," Olivia soothed. "I've got to take this call, honey." It was a lie, there was no urgency in speaking to Don, it could have waited, but she needed to short-circuit this emotional scene before she broke again. "Go to your dad, honey," she encouraged, extracting herself. Elliot took hold of his daughter as Olivia stood up.

"It's okay, Lizzie, really, it's okay," she whispered, bending to kiss her head.

With the door shut behind Olivia, Elliot tried to placate his daughter who was still sobbing and gulping her breaths.

"Calm down, Lizzie," Elliot softly instructed. "Please, baby girl."

"But … but … you don't know what I did, dad," she sobbed into his chest.

"You weren't to know Liv's mom was raped, honey," he soothed.

"No, but … I shouldn't have said what I did …" she exclaimed.

"You only said what you felt, Liv's not mad at you," Elliot explained, rubbing her back. "She's upset because she was thinking of her mom when you were talking to her… and what she would have gone through."

"But that's not all I said … did she tell you the rest?" Liz asked, wiping her eyes. Elliot shook his head. "I … I … I basically said imagine you weren't wanted and had to grow up knowing about it … and your dad being a rapist …that you'd probably wanna kill yourself rather than live with it."

Elliot sighed deeply, before shaking his head. "Liv will be fine, Lizzie," he soothed, kissing her head. "She's lived with this a long time now and usually she's pretty good about it."

"But you didn't see how sad she was, daddy," Liz explained, grabbing onto his shirt. "I've never seen anything like it … she just seemed, I don't know, broken … and I did it."

"Oh no, baby, no. You didn't do it, you didn't break Olivia, it wasn't your fault," he whispered, tears stinging his eyes.

Lizzie sighed deeply, she could hear her father but she just wasn't in any state to believe him.

"Dad," Dickie interrupted. "Is it true, about Liv's mom?"

"Yeah, it is," Elliot said, holding his daughter close.

"Man, that sucks," he mumbled as the door reopened and Olivia stood there.

"How about some dinner now?" she asked, her face washed and her hair pulled back. There was no response. "Come on, honey," she said to Lizzie, holding out her hand. "Come and eat with me."

Lizzie scrambled to get up and wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist as she led her out to the sitting room.

"Love you, Liz," she whispered as she kissed the teen's head.

"Love you too, Liv," she replied tearfully.

Elliot stood at the door with Dickie for a few moments.

"Are they gonna be alright?" he asked his dad.

"Yeah," Elliot sighed, knowing they would be but not trusting it wouldn't be anytime soon.

"Anything we can do?" he asked.

"Just love them a lot," Elliot replied, wrapping his arm around his son's shoulders.

"Do you love Liv, dad? Really love her?" Dickie asked.

"Yes, son, I do," he said.

"About time."

xoxoxinnocencexoxox