Disclaimer: Still not mine... though one day Mr Wolf and I may come to some arrangement.

You'll notice the chapters coming up vary a lot in length. It's because I write a story in a solid block then split it up as the storyline dictates. I'm sure you won't mind.

Please also check out Daddy, I posted it yesterday. You'll have to go through my portfolio as it's rated M and won't come up on the L&O:SVU story page.

xoxoxinnocencexoxox

The next time Olivia opened her eyes, the bedroom was lighter and she was still in the same position; she also knew Elliot was still awake. Propping herself up on one elbow, she raised her bandaged hand to caress his cheek.

"Did you get much sleep?" she asked, as her fingers ran into his hair.

"Yeah," he replied, closing his eyes.

"It doesn't look like it," she whispered as her finger brushed over the dark circle under his right eye.

"I'm okay," he mumbled, rolling to his side and propping himself up to face her, his free hand roaming over her hip and to her back.

"You know you can talk…" she began but stopped when he started shaking his head.

"Please don't," he interrupted, really not in the mood to go back into the darkness of the night before. "I know you're here … I know you'll listen …I'm just not…"

"Okay," she conceded, moving closer so her lips brushed his. "Whenever you're ready."

Elliot nodded gratefully before relaxing into her kiss.

Several long, leisurely kisses were exchanged before the doorbell rang and startled them both.

"Who the hell would be here at this hour?" Elliot grumbled, looking at the clock. "It's not even seven." He swung his legs out of bed before grabbing his robe from the chair. When Olivia went to do the same he stopped her. "No, stay here, Liv, I'll get it."

As he descended the stairs, Olivia moved to the landing and watched as he checked through the peephole before mumbling something and opening the door wide. There stood Maureen and Kathleen, tired and dishevelled, but pleased to be looking at their dad.

"Girls, what on earth!" he exclaimed, opening his arms and hugging them both at the same time. "You're supposed to be in Augusta with my mother."

"We were," replied Maureen. "But we spoke to mom yesterday and she told us about Lizzie and we just had to see her …"

"So, we convinced Grams to lend us her car, left Maine about eleven last night and here we are," sighed Kathleen, letting go of Elliot and moving into the house. Olivia went back to bed and left him to talk to his eldest daughters, hoping it would help him work through his issues.

When the bedroom door finally opened, Olivia was drifting in and out of sleep.

"Baby … El," she mumbled as a figure approached the bed.

"Livvy, it's me," Lizzie said, and Olivia's eyes sprung open.

"Hey kiddo," she yawned. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she trailed pointing to Elliot's side of the bed. "Can I…"

"Sure," Olivia replied, pulling back the covers.

"Where's dad?" she asked, snuggling down next to Olivia.

"Downstairs, talking," she replied, brushing Liz's hair from her face.

"Really? Who'd be here at this time?" Liz asked, pulling the covers around her.

"Your sisters," Olivia smiled, kissing her head.

"But they're …" she started.

"They came back to see you," she interrupted.

"Oh," she sighed, not sure if she was ready to see her big sisters, to talk to them. It was one thing to deal with the events with Olivia but she wasn't sure about actually talking to anyone else; her sisters and mother included. Instinctively, she edged towards Olivia, knowing she was safe with her, knowing nothing else bad would happen while she was there with her.

Olivia wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly. "It will all be okay," she soothed. "It's not going to be easy but it will be okay." Liz nodded and hugged Olivia back.

"One step at a time, right, Liv?" she asked, looking up at her.

"That's right, honey, one step at a time."

They heard movement in the hallway outside and knew Elliot and the girls were headed to Lizzie's bedroom.

"El," Olivia called out as he passed by. He opened the door and smiled when he saw his two girls curled up together again.

"Hey," he said coming into them. "Mo and Kat are here, they came to see you, baby," he said, stroking Lizzie's hair. "You want to see them?"

Lizzie's eyes darted to Olivia's. "No, not really, dad, but I will," she replied, looking back at him.

"You sure?" he asked, not wanting her to do anything she wasn't ready for.

"Aha, one step at a time, right, Liv?" she asked again.

"That's right, baby," Olivia smiled.

Lizzie hugged Olivia and climbed out of bed, stopping to hug Elliot as she passed by.

"You guys will be right here, yeah?" she checked as she got to the door.

"Yes, baby girl," Elliot reassured her.

Elliot listened as his youngest daughter encountered her sisters in the hallway. He heard the sobs and the comforting words coming from the older girls, before the sounds faded as his daughters retreated downstairs and to the living room. He turned around to find Olivia on her back, her eyes closed but with tears sliding down her cheeks and onto the pillow.

"Hey Livia," he soothed, climbing back into bed beside her. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head and felt his thumb brushing away her tears. He waited a few moments before he asked again.

"I'm alright," she replied, wiping her eyes and sitting up. "Sorry."

"Don't apologise," he said, moving into the middle of the bed before pulling her to him. "You going to tell me?"

"Just being silly," she replied, one hand holding onto his robe tightly. It was silly, to her, that after nearly a lifetime of being an only child that, at this moment, she longed for a sister, some one to be there for her, to understand what she'd been through.

"I'm sure you're not," he soothed.

"How are the girls?" she asked, changing topics. She wasn't ready to tell him… she wondered if she ever would.

Elliot pulled back and studied her. He wanted answers and he really wanted them now, but as he was finding it very difficult to talk to her about his deepest feelings, he couldn't fault her for not talking to him about hers either.

"They're pretty upset," he replied, his fingers raking through her hair. "They feel bad they didn't come home when Kathy had to go to Florida, that they weren't there for Liz, that she has to go through any of this."

"Aha," Olivia mumbled into his chest.

"They're also very grateful you were there for her, and happy that you're here now, and extremely impressed you hit him," he reported, kissing her head. "And in case I haven't said it, I have to say ditto to all three. I don't know how I'd be doing any of this without you, Livia. Thank you." He kissed her head again.

Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck and held onto him tightly.

"You're welcome," she whispered, kissing his neck. "I'm glad you're letting me."

"I'd be a fool not to," he replied.

They sat entwined in silence a while longer before there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," called Elliot.

"Hi, dad, Liv," Dickie said, scanning the room. "Where's Liz? She's not in the bedroom or the bathroom."

"She's downstairs with Mo and Kat," Elliot reported, studying his son.

"Oh," he said. "Okay." He stood at the door feeling a little uncertain.

"Come over here, Dickie," said Elliot patting the bed beside him. He knew the focus had been on Lizzie since Friday night and he also knew his son was in pain.

Slowly, Dickie made his way and sat down next to Elliot, his head resting beside his dad's on the headboard.

"How are you doing, Dickie?" Olivia asked, reaching across Elliot and taking Dickie's hand in her bandaged one.

"Okay," he mumbled, closing his eyes as he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes.

"You want to talk about it, son?" Elliot asked, wrapping an arm around his son and pulling him closer.

"Nah," he mumbled, not resisting his father's efforts to comfort him.

"Do you want me to go, Dickie, so you can chat to your dad?" Olivia offered but Dickie gripped her hand tighter.

"No, don't go, Liv." It wasn't that he didn't want to talk; he just didn't know what to say. He felt bad; bad for Liz, bad he couldn't stop it, bad he couldn't protect her; he just didn't know how to put any of it into words. He also knew that with Olivia present, he wouldn't have to, not yet anyway.

Elliot kissed Olivia's head, before kissing his son's too. Dickie responded by holding onto his dad tighter and allowing his tears to fall unchecked onto Elliot's chest. No one commented, Elliot just held him closer and Olivia gently brushed his face with her fingers.

They lay together listening to the sounds of the three girls downstairs echo through the house. While nothing specific could be heard, the emotion was obvious and fluctuated between trauma and humour. For the life of him, Elliot couldn't understand what could send his daughters into fits of laughter but he was comforted by the fact they had found something to laugh about. He looked down to find a smile on Olivia's face too.

"What?" he whispered.

"Nothing," she sighed, how she longed for that sisterhood, that sort of comfort.

He shook his head, he wondered if he'd ever understand her, if they would ever let the other break through the walls which had been so carefully built.

About twenty minutes later, Maureen rapped quietly on the door before pushing it open.

"Hey," she said brightly, though her glassy eyes and blotchy face told the true story of her demeanour.

"Hey, sweetie," Elliot said, as she came in to the room.

"Hi Mo," Olivia said as she moved her feet so she could sit by her.

"Hi Liv," she replied, reaching over and hugging her quickly. "How are you doing, Dickie?" she asked, ruffling her brother's hair.

"Fine," he mumbled, his head still nestled against his dad.

"Well," Maureen continued. "There's nothing in the house for breakfast, so we said we'd take Liz out for breakfast. We were hoping you guys would come too. You up for pancakes, Dickie?"

"Yeah," he nodded, scrubbing his hand over his face.

"Good, why don't you go get dressed?" she suggested and he clambered out of the bed and left.

When he'd gone, Maureen turned back to Olivia and Elliot. "What about you guys?" she asked.

"How did it go downstairs?" Elliot countered.

"Okay," Maureen replied. "She's better about it than I expected … and from what she said, I think it's because of you, Liv."

"I didn't do much, Mo," Olivia replied as Maureen took her hand.

"Not what she says," she replied. "I think you've done wonders … and not just with Lizzie." She winked slyly at her father.

"Maureen," he cautioned.

"So, are you two going to join us for breakfast or do you have other things to do?" she asked, ignoring her father's glare.

Olivia wanted nothing more than some alone time with Elliot. Time to actually talk to him before they left for Florida and whatever it would bring, but she also knew not going to breakfast would lead the kids to believe all sorts of things were happening, and they weren't.

"I think breakfast is a good idea," she said. "And it still gives us plenty of time to go back to the house to collect the kids' things before our flight." She looked to Elliot and smiled, she knew he had no desire to go to breakfast either.

"Yeah," he smiled. "Breakfast sounds great. "We'll be down in a few minutes."

"Great!" said Maureen, standing up. "Great."

"Wouldn't you have preferred to stay here with me?" Elliot asked as soon as the door was shut.

"Yes," she sighed.

"So, why did you agree to breakfast?" he asked.

"Because Mo invited me … things are going to be difficult enough for me if we are going to have a relationship … I just thought I'd take the positives while I can." She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"What do you mean?" he asked, wrapping his arm around her waist and edging himself over to her.

"Can you see me getting any such offer when we're in Florida?" she asked. "Can you see Don being as happy when we tell him?"

"Well, no," Elliot admitted.

"Me either," she said, pulling his hand away from her waist. "Just thought I'd make the most of it while people were happy to see me."

Elliot watched her move to her bag before heading to the bathroom. The realisation suddenly hitting him that Olivia's presence in his life as something more than his partner would change their world dramatically. Yes, it was something he desperately wanted but while all she had to do was let him love her, for him to be a part of her life, he had children, an ex wife, his own family, ex in-laws, all whom would pass judgement and comment about her before she would be able to feel that she could truly love him and be a proper part of his. It wasn't fair.

By the time Olivia emerged from the bathroom, showered and dressed, Elliot was sitting at the end of the bed, tying his shoelaces. She moved past him to put her belongings down on the chair, as she picked up her purse and moved back again he grabbed her hand and pulled her to his lap.

"You know," he began as he nuzzled into her. "I think you are the most amazing person I know." Olivia's head dropped back as his lips teased her neck. "I don't think you'll ever know just how much I want you," he mumbled. "But it's still nowhere near as much as I need you."

Olivia pulled back and studied him. "You need me?" she questioned quietly.

"Yeah, more than I care to admit," he whispered, dropping his head.

"Then why won't you talk to me?" she asked gently, raising his chin with her bandaged hand.

"Because…" he began, his eyes tearing up.

"Because what," she prompted when he failed to continue. "El?"

"Because …" He inhaled deeply and steeled himself, he could do this. "…I'm scared you'll say I'm right," he continued breathlessly.

"Right about what, El?" she asked, her heart breaking at the lost look in his eyes.

"That I'm as worthless and useless as I think I am," he whispered, his head dropping to her shoulder.

"Baby, hey…" she soothed, bringing his face up to meet hers. "I could never think of you as worthless and useless. Whatever made you think I would?" she asked, as her arm moved to cradle his head.

"Everything … this whole…" He released his right hand and gestured wildly, "…mess," he choked out as a sob caught in his throat.

"I don't understand, El," she said, holding him tighter. He didn't speak but Olivia could feel him shudder in her arms. "Take your time, baby." It took a few moments before Elliot began to speak.

"I couldn't help Lizzie … I couldn't stop it happening … she couldn't come to me … I couldn't make it better…" he rambled, Olivia responded by holding him tighter. "It's all been you," he continued, trying not to sound bitter, not really succeeding. "Even Mo said so."

"I'm sorry," she replied, releasing him and trying to move away. "I didn't mean to interfere…"

"No, you didn't interfere … I didn't mean it that way," he said, desperately trying to keep hold of her. "I'm glad she has you, I'm glad I have you … it just … just… hurts."

Quickly, she wrapped herself around him once more. "What hurts, Elliot?" Her face moved with his as her eyes sought his. "Babe?

"Me … being a fraud … my whole career … my whole life has been about the kids and now … when it matters … it amounted to fuck all …" He stopped to drag in a breath and his eyes closed.

After a few moments he continued, his eyes still shut, not wanting to see Olivia looking at him. "They didn't come to me, Liv, they didn't come to me," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, tears streaming down his face. "Not as a cop and not … not … not as their dad … "

"Oh, baby, baby, sssh, no," Olivia soothed, holding him so tightly she struggled to breathe. "You were on surveillance, they knew they couldn't go to you… they didn't come here because Steve knows where you live … he doesn't know where I live, they thought it'd be safer," she explained quietly, as she tried to wipe away his tears. "And as far as not coming to you as their dad, you know just how humiliated you can feel after being assaulted … you've seen that with our vics, look at how many turn to me and not you. It's just a feeling of being safe, that's all. It's not that the twins don't love and respect you, Lizzie just needed a woman … can you understand that?" she asked, her forehead resting on his head.

He nodded slowly. "Doesn't mean I like it," he mumbled into her shoulder.

"I know … but the fact that Lizzie and Dickie have both come to you since then, both have hugged you and held you and wanted you with them, that says so much, El," she whispered. "They love you so much." He nodded again.

"You guys ready?" yelled Maureen from the stairs.

Olivia pulled away from him momentarily. "We won't all fit in one car, Mo," she yelled back. "You go we'll be right behind you."

"Okay," she called. "We're going to the IHOP on Anderson, okay? Not the one on Washington."

"Okay."

When she heard the door close behind the kids, Olivia turned her attention back to Elliot.

"I want you to listen to me, Elliot Stabler," she said, cradling his face in her hands. "You are an incredible father and your children love you dearly." She leant in and kissed his nose. "And I love you so much," she continued, kissing him again. "And if you weren't such an amazing cop I would have ditched you years ago."

"Love you so much, Livia," he whispered as his lips collided with hers.

"I know you do, babe. You just have to let me in," she replied, tapping her fingers on his head, then on his chest. "Don't shut me out, okay?" He nodded. "Good, now take me to breakfast and feed me." He grinned and she traced his lips with her finger. "This is what I wanted to see."

Pausing at the front door, Elliot embraced Olivia.

"Thank you," he whispered into her ear, before kissing it.

"You're welcome," she whispered in reply. "I'm always here for you."

"And I'm here for you too," he replied, looking deep into her eyes. "Whenever you're ready to talk to me."

Olivia smiled sadly before briefly kissing his lips. "Let's go have breakfast."

xoxoxinnocencexoxox

School holidays are over and work resumes tomorrow, so updates probably won't come as quickly BUT you'll be happy to know I'm working on an epilogue which I should be able to post as soon as the chapters are done.

Don't forget to review - and to check out Daddy.