Ok, this by far became my favorite chapter! The performance didn't turn out like I had expected it to, but once I started writing it that way it flowed so easily I had to just go with it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the songs in this story.
Kurt smiled as he held the door open for Puck who had become one of his best friends, especially once Kurt showed him and Finn that he could kick ass at Mario Kart.
"Hey," Puck greeted, clapping his hands together, "Let's get this party started." Kurt smirked and rolled his eyes, but Puck had become almost endearing.
"So tell me you already know the lyrics to 'Junkyard Society Rag'," Kurt asked, closing the front door and putting his hands on his hips, expectantly.
"Sorry, dude, not a Disney freak like your boyfriend," Puck replied, taking a brownie from the plate that Kurt had sat out. "I've seen the movie, just don't know it by heart," Puck defended himself from Kurt's 'bitch face'. Kurt sighed heavily,
"Fine, let's start with that." Both he and Puck knew that Puck hadn't been the target of Kurt's true anger in a couple years and probably never would be.
"Speaking of the hobbit, I'm surprised he's not here," Puck teased, smiling cheekily. Kurt bit his bottom lips softly before looking over at Puck,
"He'll probably be over here tonight." Puck saw Kurt's face and knew there was more to it than that, but he didn't say anything else and nodded. "Ok, here we go," Kurt handed him sheet music with the lyrics, Kurt knew him well.
An hour of rehearsal passed before Kurt covered his face with his hand and let out a moan.
"Noah," he groaned, Puck turned confused to the boy who always carried himself with such pride and confidence, and saw how utterly defeated he looked.
"I'm sorry, man, I didn't think I was doing that bad," it wasn't about him, and Puck knew that. But he also knew asking Kurt straight out what was wrong, would get him nowhere.
"No," Kurt sighed softly, turning the music off and turning to Puck. "Have you ever had the parent of a girl you were with, hate you more than anything?" Puck wasn't sure what he had been expecting to be wrong, but that question didn't fit any of his scenarios.
"Of course, I mean, I don't 'date' girls, but Santana's mother hated me, any girl who so much as mentions my names gets an hour lecture of how I got Quinn pregnant and if they continue to hang out with me, they will be too." Kurt smiled sympathetically at him, before looking down at his own hands. "Why'd you ask me that? You are every parents' dream boyfriend. You're polite and smart, funny, nice, I mean I'm sure you buy the best gifts ever." Kurt chuckled lightly, but then sadness replaced it and Puck felt like he had just kicked Kurt's puppy.
"Yeah well, apparently I turned his son into a queer, so…" Puck's blood boiled instantly in his viens,"
"BLAINE'S FATHER SAID THAT?" Puck screamed, taking Kurt by surprise, causing him to jump,
"Whoa, ok, didn't expect that. Um," Kurt said quietly, staring at the ground. "Ever since Santana went over to his house, Mr. Anderson is convinced that Blaine wants to change, I just won't let him." Kurt sounded sadder than Puck had heard in a while, he surprised both of them when he put his arm around Kurt's shoulder.
"If that bastard can't see that you are amazing person and that you are perfect boyfriend, then it's his lost, because not only is he going to lose the opportunity to meet you, he's going to lose his son."
"No," Kurt shook his head firmly, "I will not let Blaine choose me over his father, no matter how much it hurts me," Kurt wiped a tear that managed to slip out.
"If Blaine chose his father, he would be lying to himself, not just to him. He's gay, Kurt, I've been forced to watch time and time again how he basically eye fucks you every chance he gets." Kurt raised his eyebrow, glaring at Puck, but Puck just grinned, "And not only that, have you ever noticed how he just stares at you, like, for no other reason that he is so fucking in love with you he doesn't know what else to do." Kurt smiled softly, looking up at Puck,
"How would you know what that stare looks like?" Kurt teased, Puck motioned into the kitchen,
"Cuz it's how your dad and Mrs. H. stare at each other, like there no one else on earth." Kurt's heart skipped a beat and he threw his arms around Puck, causing Puck to freeze in shock but only for a moment, before he returned the hug. "Kurt, this is Mr. Anderson's problem to work out. Your job, is to be here when Blaine needs you, which knowing you, you are already awesome at." Kurt pulled away, looking at Puck like he'd grown an extra head,
"When did you become so smart?" Kurt asked, smiling softly at the "tough guy".
"Maybe when I realized that being a bad ass will get me nowhere, and if I want to be the kind of father and husband someone is going to want one day, I have to grow up." Kurt smiled warmly at him and took his hand, none of the glee guys reacted to physical contact from Kurt anymore. No one flinched, or pulled away, or even tensed slightly, it was as normal as any other guy touching them, and Kurt would forever be grateful that it had reached that point.
"Noah, Lauren is lucky to have you, and one day you are going to make an amazing dad," Kurt promised and Puck smirked, he loved how in front of Kurt, he didn't have to be Puck, he could just be Noah. "But I need you to be bad ass until this assignment is over so don't go all castrated husband on me now." Puck laughed loudly and nodded,
"Wouldn't risk your wrath, Princess."
"Ah-Ah," Kurt scolded, "Until next prom, I am still your Queen." Puck couldn't help but chuckle, glad that Kurt hadn't let that stupid prank get to him, but instead had used it to show everyone how he was the real bad ass.
"Oh I apologize Your Highness, I never intended to offend you." Puck played along, bowing his head in false humility.
"Hmm, I'll let it slide this time, but next time you slip, it's Off with his head," They were both laughing when Finn walked in, looking from his brother to his best friend confused and surprised. He knew Puck and Kurt were close, but Kurt had been so upset lately, part of him expected to find Puck in bloody pieces and Kurt sobbing on the couch. Instead they were laughing like bros.
"Oh hey, Finn," Puck greeted, still laughing slightly as he was glad to once again see a light in Kurt's eyes.
"Hey," Finn replied before slowly going upstairs, trying not to think too hard about the situation he'd walked in on, it made his head hurt.
"Ok, we really need to finish this," Kurt claimed, looking down at the sheet music,
"I agree."
Puck looked over at Kurt and winked, as Kurt adjusted his costume, grinning at his duet partner. Kurt looked disheveled, probably more than anyone in the club had seen him except Blaine, Mercedes and Rachel. His hair was messy, he was wearing a vest that was buttoned wrong, and the hoes he was wearing had holes and runs in them. Puck was wearing torn jeans and a worn ACDC t-shirt with a leather jacket on top. Kurt picked up the mirror that laid on the piano amongst the other things he would need for his act, Kurt Hummel never did anything half way. The music started and Kurt looked in the mirror, gasping in horror at the sight.
Girl, we've got work to do
Pass me the paint and glue
He picked up the eyeliner and carefully spread it on as he sang.
Perfect isn't easy
But it's me
Kurt looked over at Puck who grabbed Kurt in staged roughness, pulling him close, Kurt pretended to be indignant, while Santana and Lauren cat called.
In junkyard society
I'm repelled by all propriety
Humility and modesty
Puck grinded into Kurt at this point, causing Kurt to squawk in offense, 'trying' to free himself from Puck's grasp.
Good manners and sobriety
I always gulp my meat
My clothes are never neat
Kurt rolled his eyes at the obviousness of the line, a snobbish expression on his face.
Alas, I lack all poise
I'm full of natural noise
Puck burped loudly and Kurt jerked out of Puck's hold and glared at him, his arms crossed in front of him.
In junkyard society
Kurt strutted over to the piano once again and applied a skin toned powder, making a show of the application. Before using his hairspray to fix his hair, he smirked seductively.
When one knows the world is watching
One does what one must
The countertenor the rolled down his leggings to cover the holy tights before raising an eyebrow at Blaine,
Some minor adjustments, darling
He adjusted his pants so that it wasn't too vulgar, but they all knew the sexual implication, Mr. Shu shook his head, but there was a small smirk on his lips. Kurt unbuttoned the vest, letting it hang open.
Not for my vanity
But for humanity
He was now in front of Blaine, swaying his hips in a way Blaine thought should be illegal, Kurt was teasing him in a manner that had Blaine, though he had been warned, practically whimpering.
Each little step a pose
Kurt did a runway pose, winking lightheartedly at the rest of the glee club, all of whom were grinning knowing this was Kurt at his most playful.
See how the breeding shows
Sometimes it's too much for even me
Puck walked past Kurt who was acting too good for Puck, holding his nose in the air, his hands on his hips.
I am the mutual un-elite
An underclass from my head to feet
Kurt pretended to clean his nails, appearing bored.
My deeds are spiteful
my mischief pure
He grabbed Kurt's hips and pulled the smaller teenager back into the middle of the room. Kurt swatted at him, while Puck continued to sing, an impish grin on his face
I got a natural disorder
for which there's no cure
Kurt sighed exaggeratingly, approaching Puck with a fiercely hungry look on his face.
But when all the world says, "Yes"
Then who am I to say "No"?
Suddenly though, Kurt spun around and instead got in Blaine's lap, throwing his head back, his arms around Blaine's neck.
Don't ask a mutt to strut like a show girl
No, girl, you need a pro
Puck scowled at Blaine who played along and looked self -satisfied as Kurt ran his fingers through his un-gelled hair.
Check out the junkyard
Step to the junkyard society rag
Puck pulled Kurt out of Blaine's lap and brought Kurt's body against his. Everyone chuckled, knowing that Puck was as straight as they come, but was playing this part very well.
That's where you're nobody's perfumed pet
Both Kurt and Blaine fake glared angrily at Puck for that line, Kurt once again stepping away from Puck, walking back towards the piano and leaning against it.
Where you can wet
where you want to wet
Kurt snarled at in brashness of Puck to say such a thing, the club was laughing and clearly getting into it.
Where you put charity on the shelf
The only one that you'll look out for
is you, yourself
Puck put his finger under Kurt's chin only to have to Kurt jerk his head away.
Not a flea or a flaw
Kurt motioned to himself, with a superior sneer.
No distemper shots from the vet
Puck moved to once again grab Kurt, but this time, Kurt dodged him, holding out his hand,
Take a peek at that paw
Puck rolled his eyes before pulling Sam out of his chair (all planned of course) and fake punched him in the stomach
Show your temper, mean as you can get ( La la la la)
Kurt shook his head and cocked his hip, one hand on the jutted bone.
Perfection becomes me, nest ce pas?
Puck puffed out his chest with pride, smiling in a way that everyone recognized as 'I know I'm going to get what I want' way.
Down at the yard where we live and let
Chaos and trouble
Oh, I do it double
Kurt spun around gracefully, moving fluidly,
Unrivaled, unruffled
I'm beauty unleashed
Yeah!
Kurt threw his head back, exposing his neck, before snapping back up, his hair falling in his face slightly. Puck motioned to himself before pointing to Blaine,
None of this play-it-safe house dog stuff
Kurt pretended not to pay him much mind, looking at Blaine who to a certain extent really was staring at his boyfriend with is mouth slightly opened.
Jaws drop, hearts stop
Puck pulled out the belt he had around his waist and popped it sharply at Kurt.
Our days are risky
Our nights are "ruff"
Kurt leered at Puck, taking an empty chair and sat in it sideway, his hands propped on his crossed legs.
So classic and classy
We're not talking Lassie
Kurt threw his leg over the back of the chair, straddling it, his hands gripping the back of the chair as he growled the line.
Puck waved his hand once again towards Blaine,
The peaceful life leaves me ill at ease
He yawned in bordom, then Kurt leaned backwards on the piano, looking at him, Kurt's arms spread across it.
Tho' many covet my bone and bowl
They're barking up the wrong tree
Kurt wiggled his hips and walked to the other side of the piano, hopping up on it, gracefully.
I'm crude and loud in a crowd
Puck took Kurt's legs in his hand and tried to spin him around but Kurt shook his head, wagging his finger,
You pretty pups all over the city
I have your hearts and you have my pity
He gave them all a sympathetic smile, before bouncing off the piano.
And very proud of my fleas
Puck threw his arms open as if presenting himself to Kurt, who ignored him.
Pretty is nice but still
Step to the junkyard
Straight to the junkyard
It's just pretty
Kurt flicked his wrist dismissively, as Puck circled him like a vulture.
Doin' the junkyard
Kurt turned and braced himself on Puck's shoulder before jumping up, Puck carrying him while he sat on one shoulder. Kurt threw his arms in the air as his last line came out, just like Puck's long and strong.
Perfect, my dears
Is me (society rag)
When it ended Puck flipped him so that he was holding Kurt under the knees and back. Kurt had his head thrown back and his arms still out. The room broke out in cheers and clapping, Kurt was about to come up when Blaine grabbed his face with both hands and kissed him deeply.
"That was amazing, Babe," he claimed. Kurt blushed slightly and grinned climbing out of Puck's arms only to throw his own around Blaine.
"Thanks Hon, Puck worked really hard on it," he smiled at Puck who smiled softly back. "So did you think the flirting was too much? I mean I know you saw it earlier but…" Kurt never wanted to do anything that made Blaine think he had anything to worry about in that department. Blaine chuckled,
"No, I thought it was really sexy actually," Blaine whispered and Kurt blushed further but he raised an eyebrow.
"So your kink is threesomes huh? Well I'm not so sure I'm willing to share," Kurt purred in his ear, the sensation of Kurt's hot breath on his flesh made Blaine shiver.
"Guys for real, I mean I know Kurt and Puck just put on the first five minutes of my favorite porn, but could you at least wait til we all leave to go at it?" Lauren asked, her arms wrapped around Puck's neck.
"Then you'd better hurry," Blaine stated, eyeing Kurt greedily.
"Boys," Mr. Shue interrupted, receiving an angry glare from both of them, "Not here." Both boys sighed but went back to their seats, linking hands.
"That was great guys, one more couple to go…"
Was the flirting too much and unbelievable? Please review and let me know. Also, just so you know, Puck is completely straight, it's just an act. And when Mr. Shue told Klaine to tone down the lust, he was doing what he could have done with any of the couples acting that way. Shue isn't a villain in this story hehe. Hope you enjoyed. Review please, it's just a click away. Thank you for reading