In the previous chapter
"When will you tell them 'that'?" Komui asked the red-haired General.
"When both of them are here," General Cross told the Branch Head and the Bookman.
"I guess that makes sense. But what will Allen's reaction be?" Bookman asked the General.
"Dunno. Happy?" Cross answered, though he is still unsure of it.
Lost (chapter 16) Yullen
Allen was standing nervously in this empty room. Kanda forced him to explain everything to Lenalee and now, he's here alone with the female exorcist. 'I'm really going to kill you once I'm finished here, baKanda .' Allen thought. He pleaded Kanda to accompany him but the Japanese man didn't want to.
Flashback:
"Please, Kanda," Allen pleaded as he looked at the older exorcist with pitiful eyes.
Kanda leaned his back to the door of Allen's room with his arms crossed against his chest and his eyes looking at the bean sprout with arrogance. "Tch, only if you explain to Lenalee first before you eat," he told the boy, smirking.
Allen frowned at Kanda angrily before looking away. "Hmph!" he grunted with annoyance.
End of Flashback~
Well, everyone knows what happened after that, right? Allen will never choose something over food, NEVER.
"Lenalee… Kanda told me about your feelings for me and…" Allen started his explanation but couldn't think of any word to continue. He looked at Lenalee who was obviously waiting patiently for the next words he will say. He laughed nervously, unsure if what he will say is right. "I'm sorry," he apologized as he bowed his head. "I love… you and everybody else in the Order but Kanda is…" he thought of a word to say to Lenalee about Kanda. He looked at the green-haired exorcist before smiling brightly. "I don't know but I love him the most," he informed the girl honestly.
"What is it that you love about Kanda?" Lenalee asked, glancing at the sides so she would not meet Allen's eyes. The white-haired exorcist's words hurt her. She couldn't do anything but ask the boy. Maybe, she can do what Kanda does to make Allen fall for him.
"H-Huh?" Allen blinked, not knowing what he should answer. Kanda comes across as cold, stoic, and arrogant, even to his fellow exorcists. He is moody and easily annoyed. He dislikes many things. He is a sadist, a bully and he likes insulting the bean sprout. Kanda has so many bad attitudes that even his good looks, beautiful hair and sexy body won't be a good reason to love the Japanese man, especially to Allen. But he (Allen) smiled, remembering all the fights they had. He looked at the female exorcist dazzlingly. "I don't know anything about Kanda… his birthday, his family, his…past… I don't know anything about him but my heart never forgets to make me feel how much I love him. He has so many bad attitudes. He likes fighting me that it hurts sometimes. But I know in my heart that no matter what he does to me, whether he makes me laugh or cry, whether he protects me or hurts me or even if he decided to leave me someday…" Allen said continuously and seriously with a very contented smile, making Lenalee look at him directly in the eyes. "I'd still love him," he explained honestly with a smile.
Lenalee's eyes widened with astonishment though tears unintentionally fell from them. "Hearing those words, Allen-kun, I can't be selfish now, can I?" she asked Allen with a smile, but pain was very obvious in it. "I love you but you love Kanda… Allen-kun, I'll still love you but I'll let myself know that you will love Kanda forever, so I can limit myself and feelings… so I can see you as a friend again… c-can we still be friends?" she asked the boy.
"Of course," Allen answered right away. He walked near the female exorcist and hugged her gently. "I'm sorry," he apologized, rubbing the back of Lenalee's head gently, comforting her.
Lenalee sobbed silently on Allen's shoulder.
Unknown to these two exorcists, Kanda was outside the room they are in, with his back leaning against the door, eavesdropping. A dark red was formed on his cheeks (without doubt, because of Allen's words). He purposely refused to accompany Allen because the boy will surely be shy and not say the words he (Allen) truly wanted to say. But Kanda didn't expect that the Moyashi will say something like that— something so overwhelming. He had heard everything; he hadn't missed a single word. Realizing that the talk is already over, he walked away still with a blush on his face. His heartbeat wouldn't slow down. (Cool man can be thrilled sometimes, you know ^_^)
Lavi, Nathan, Timothy and Emilia (the one who tutors Timothy in manga) were walking to the train station. Lavi explained to the Mother superior and to the inspector (Emilia's father) everything about Timothy and his innocence last night. Though problems and dramas in allowing the kid to leave occurred, the Bookman Jr. managed to persuade them.
"Why are you smiling?" Lavi asked Nathan as he saw the boy smiling with excitement.
Nathan looked at the older exorcist, still with a smile on his face. "I just realized that I'll be able to see Onii-san again," he told Lavi cheerfully.
Lavi got shocked at the statement. He had completely forgotten Allen and Kanda. He got preoccupied by this young exorcist so much that he had forgotten to tell Nathan about Allen's interrogation. He called Komui this morning and told the Branch Head that they'll be going back tonight but asking about Allen's condition never crossed his mind.
"Lavi-san, can we buy some homecoming gift for Onii-san?" Nathan asked distracting Lavi from his thoughts. They're in the town (they have to pass by there before they can reach the train).
"Ok," Lavi agreed. He's feeling guilty for not checking on how Allen is doing so maybe, buying some gift for the bean sprout will stop him from feeling guilty.
They went to a near store and picked something for Allen.
"Yo, cheating boy," a voice called as he grabbed Nathan's right wrist, making the boy turn around.
Nathan stared at the tall man with confusion. He doesn't know this dark man.
"Have you gotten shorter, cheating boy? Your scar is gone?" Tyki asked once he had observed the boy.
Nathan looked at Lavi so he could get some help here but he saw the older exorcist busy flirting with a lady customer. Timothy and Emilia were in the other store since Timothy is too picky. Realizing that no one can help him, he looked at the tall man in front of him again. "I'm not a cheating boy," he told Tyki honestly. He never cheated, after all.
Tyki gave Nathan a smirk, though insulted at the boy's words and action (Tyki thinks that Nathan is Allen). He gripped Nathan's wrist tightly. "Because of you, I can't go back to my human form," he informed Nathan calmly as he gripped the wrist tighter. "Shall my teez bite your heart again?"
Nathan looked at the tall, dark man with confusion. It's his first time meeting this guy yet the man is already blaming and hurting him. Does his master owe a lot of money from this dark man also? Thinking that his master owes a lot of money from this man, he bowed his head as his body shivered with fear. He doesn't have a huge amount of money in his pocket now. "I-I don't remember meeting you, Mr. B-But, I'm really sorry. Please don't hurt me. I'll pay you when I have earned enough money," he apologized sincerely as he held with his left hand his wrist that was being gripped by Tyki.
Tyki looked at Nathan then on the boy's left hand. There was no deformed hand, no innocence but this young boy is wearing an exorcist's uniform. Surely, this isn't Allen because the boy doesn't have an innocence (Tyki didn't see Nathan's innocence since it was hiding under the sleeve). "You're not the cheating boy?" he asked, staring at the boy with puzzlement.
"I don't cheat," Nathan answered honestly as he looked at Tyki with big eyes, shaking his head.
"You're an exorcist?" Tyki asked.
"Huh? How'd you know?" Nathan asked back.
He's an exorcist yet he doesn't notice that I'm a Noah. Maybe he's a new one. Tyki smiled coolly and patted the boy's head. "I'm sorry, I jumped to conclusions again," he apologized to Nathan. He removed his hat and took an apple from it. He gave it to Nathan. "Token of apology," he said.
"T-Thank you," Nathan thanked as he took the apple from the dark man's hand. He put the apple inside his pocket and smiled at Tyki.
Tyki stared at Nathan as he remembered Eeez suddenly. He couldn't help but feel a little sad. He misses Eeez and this kid in front of him has the same smile as Eeez. This kid, being an exorcist, doesn't matter to him now. He placed his hand on Nathan's head and combed the boy's hair gently.
"M-Mr.?" Nathan gulped as he looked up at the older man directly in the eyes. He saw the man looking at him longingly, like he (Tyki) is missing someone. "It's ok, Mr." Nathan smiled at Tyki again.
Tyki's eyes widened at the said words but he smiled back then chose to just walk away. "Goodbye," he said. He wrinkled his forehead. Maybe, Nathan and Eeez can be good friends. Eeez is always lonely inside (for me) so maybe having a friend with the same age will be helpful, right? If I have to choose between being a human and being a Noah, which will I prefer? What if Eeez needs me now? He's always sick.
Back to Nathan…
Nathan quickly ran to Lavi after he saw the tall man left. "Lavi-san," he called the older exorcist who was still flirting with the lady. He frowned angrily at the Bookman Jr. before dragging the man by the hand.
Lavi stared at Nathan with confusion. He didn't make a single move (Nathan couldn't move him since Lavi is way too heavy for the young exorcist). He just waited for Nathan to explain why the hell he was being dragged.
Nathan looked at Lavi then at the lady Lavi was flirting with (the lady had his arms wrapped around Lavi's right arm). He quickly let go of Lavi's hand then ran away with an angry expression. He, himself, doesn't know why he is so angry. All he knows is that he hated seeing Lavi and that girl together. Above all, it seems that Lavi has forgotten him because of this girl.
Lavi ran after Nathan. He grabbed Nathan's right wrist and stopped the boy from running.
"Uhn…" Nathan hissed and closed his eyes with pain when Lavi gripped his wrist. He got bruise when Tyki gripped his wrist tightly earlier.
Lavi stared at the boy with confusion. "What happened?" he asked the boy when he saw the bruise on Nathan's wrist.
"N-None of your business," Nathan said, trying to sound angry. It's none of Lavi's business because Lavi doesn't pay his attention to him. Lavi didn't even notice that a man was about to hurt him earlier.
"What?" Lavi asked when Nathan said those words. What exactly did he do that made this kid mad?
"You don't care about me. You care about that girl. You had forgotten me," Nathan sulked.
Lavi stared at Nathan with confusion as he tried to process the boy's words. Nathan just frowned at him cutely (Nathan is angry; he just looks cute for Lavi and me). Lavi smirked first before hugging Nathan tightly.
Nathan looked up at the older man with confusion. "L-Lavi-san?"
Lavi didn't give any word to the boy. He just smiled contentedly and hugged Nathan tighter. This kid is jealous. Jealous. Lavi couldn't help but feel happy with his thought. Nathan is jealous.
Nathan hugged back as he rested his head on Lavi's chest. Though his heart was beating so fast, he closed his eyes as he felt safe, having Lavi beside him.
Kanda was lying comfortably on his bed, still thinking of Allen's words. He could never forget those words, NEVER. He kept on playing Allen's voice in his head 'til someone knocked on his door. He cursed silently as he got up from bed. He was enjoying the moment so much but this someone interrupted him.
"Kanda," Lenalee called once she saw the Japanese man in front of her. She smiled and said, "I—,"
"I heard everything," Kanda said, interrupting Lenalee. She doesn't have to retell what happened earlier since he was there and heard everything they talked about.
"I'm sorry. Can I take some of your time?" Lenalee asked as she looked at Kanda. Though she still feels pain, she's here to apologize because she wanted to be forgiven from her selfishness sooner.
Kanda sighed in his mind. He opened the door wider for Lenalee. He let the girl in and told her to sit on the bed. He sat on the only chair in the room and looked at Lenalee. He waited for the female exorcist to start her talk.
"Kanda, I'm sorry if I had said many senseless words to you. I realized that that was really not in my character," she said truthfully.
"It's fine to be true to your self sometimes," Kanda commented. It's not that he's saying Lenalee is like that. But sometimes, it's good to express your feelings openly.
"I'm sorry. I even assumed that Allen might just be confused with his feelings and so, I planned on stealing him away from you," Lenalee apologized and explained honestly to Kanda. She was looking at her hands that were placed on her lap. She never looked at Kanda directly for it will make her even more nervous. "I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely again.
"Frankly, that was disturbing," Kanda informed Lenalee making her frown with pain and feel more guilty. "But I'm not mad. You were one of the causes why Allen and I are together now, anyway," he continued as he looked away from her.
Lenalee looked at the Japanese man with surprise. "R-Really?" she couldn't believe that this easily-angered-man isn't mad at him.
"Tch," was Kanda's only reply. He doesn't like repeating his words.
Lenalee smiled with satisfaction. "I'm sorry. We even made a competition when I don't even know about Allen-kun's feelings," she apologized again.
"I'll tell you one thing," Kanda said as he looked at Lenalee again. "The bean sprout thought that you love me because he overheard our conversation about finding out who is better. He misunderstood it that's why he was crying," he informed Lenalee.
"Really? Allen-kun really likes jumping to conclusions," Lenalee commented at the information.
"Yes, he even thought that sex would be my basis and he read something about how to please his man," Kanda couldn't help but saying those words. He really wanted to laugh at that moment when he heard Allen's reason why the boy was reading that (but that would be so not like him so he did not). That was so cute. To think that Allen would do anything just so he would stay beside him, Kanda is really truly happy.
Lenalee just laughed as she felt comfortable being with Kanda again. It's like they were going back to the days when Kanda talks to her about Allen.
Allen walked in the corridors of the Black Order. It's already evening yet he hasn't seen his Kanda since this morning— when he explained everything to Lenalee. It's not because he is lost all this time (but now, he is) but because Komui just wouldn't stop giving him orders which are not an exorcist's duty (which means Komui just wanted to lessen his job). He just finished every order Komui gave and now he is looking for Kanda's room. It felt like a very long, boring day for him when Kanda isn't beside him. He misses Kanda so much that he wanted to see his lover sooner but here he is, lost again. Allen stopped walking and observed his surroundings, trying to remember what this place is. Am I still at the Order?
"Allen," a voice called the bean sprout all of a sudden.
Allen turned around to see the man who called him. Mari was there, smiling at him.
"Are you lost?" Mari asked bluntly, making the bean sprout look at him with wide eyes.
"Geez, I'm not, I'm just wandering around here since it's so boring, hehe," Allen lied. He doesn't want to look dumb in front of people especially when he knows that no one gets lost in their own homes except for him of course. He could be the dumbest person when it comes to directions.
Mari smiled again at Allen's lie. The boy didn't have to deny it since it was very, very obvious. "You and Kanda are together, aren't you?" he asked out of the blue, changing the topic.
Allen blushed lightly at the question. "H-Huh?" he doesn't know if he will answer it truthfully because he isn't sure if Kanda wants the public to know about their relationship. (Well, Allen, Kanda does)
"Thank you, Allen," Mari thanked the boy as he leaned his back to the wall. "It's frustrating, even though he was the one who saved me…"
"Huh?" Allen stared at the tall man with confusion. Mari just wouldn't stop changing the topics. He's getting confuse and he couldn't understand a thing anymore.
"I can't see how to pull him out of it… the darkness that surrounds him is so deep… but then you came. Thank you," Mari told the bean sprout seriously. Truthfully speaking, he was about to lose hope in helping Kanda get out of that darkness, but this past few months, when Allen came, Kanda's surroundings seems to have lighten up little by little.
Allen bowed his head and frowned with annoyance (he is annoyed at himself). He memorized every word Mari said but comprehending it seems very impossible for him. What the hell is Mari trying to say, really? "Uhm, can you explain a little further?" the white haired exorcist pleaded as he looked at Mari again, rubbing the back of his head cutely.
Mari smiled and patted Allen's head, treating the boy like a kid. "Don't leave Kanda's side, Allen," he said as he walked away.
Allen frowned again as he tried to process Mari's explanation. (Me: Allen, that is not an explanation. He's telling you what to do! .) Allen gave up when he couldn't understand a thing. He looked at the leaving Mari. "Wait!" he shouted at Mari, stopping the man from walking. "Please, tell me where Kanda's room is," he pleaded. He wanted to understand Mari's words but he couldn't. He memorized it all so he'll just try to comprehend it later. All he wanted now is to find his man now.
Mari walked back to Allen and told the bean sprout the direction.
FF
Did I go the wrong way? (Allen is lost again) But Mari said that I should go here. Then, turn right when I reached the 12th door and when I see a big door, I'll turn left. But… I don't see big door anywhere. No… I think he said to turn left first then right… Eh? Did he say that I should just walk straight?
"Mari, have you seen Moyashi?" Kanda asked as he saw Mari walking. He was looking for the bean sprout because it's already late in the evening yet Allen didn't even bother coming in his room.
"Eh? So he got lost again…" Mari sighed knowing that after his long explanation, Allen still got lost. "I saw him earlier and told him the direction to your room, but it seems that he got lost again," he informed the Japanese man.
Kanda smirked at this. Maybe, he still has to teach his Allen about directions. "Thanks," he thanked the man as he walked away.
Allen wandered around the HQ. He sighed heavily, loosing hope in finding Kanda's room. He had mixed all the directions Mari gave him with the directions Kanda instructed him. He is so tired now. He's in the darkest corner of the Headquarters where no people came since it's too scary. Maybe, he'd die in hunger here.
"Moyashi, is getting lost your hobby?" Kanda asked suddenly as he saw his bean sprout.
Hearing his beloved's voice, Allen quickly turned around and ran quickly to Kanda. He hugged the Japanese man tightly, burying his face on Kanda's chest. "I missed you, Kanda," he told his man honestly as he looked up at the older man.
Kanda smirked as he saw his bean sprout's face. It looks like Allen really missed him. "Moyashi," he whispered as he touched Allen's cheek, feeling the smoothness of the bean sprout's skin.
Allen blushed darkly because of Kanda's action. "I told you before, it's Allen," he pouted cutely at Kanda.
Kanda smirked again. Allen's cuteness never fails to amaze him. "Allen," he whispered before kissing Allen intensely on the lips.
FF means Fast Forward (many asked me)