In the previous chapter
"Idiot pupil!" Cross shouted as he looked at Allen angrily. "Be serious here, it's about you," he told the boy.
Me? Allen bowed his head and thought deeply. Did I do something wrong? Or is it me— having the memories of the Noah? He suddenly felt anxious, not knowing what that information is.
Knowing what is going on in Allen's mind, Kanda held his beloved's hand to comfort the boy. Allen just gripped Kanda's hand as a response.
"Listen," Cross said seriously, catching all the attention. He looked at Allen seriously then to Nathan. He sighed first before opening his mouth to talk. "Allen, Nathan is your younger brother."
Lost (chapter 18) Yullen
Because of the said words, Allen's eyes widened as he felt his heart skipped a beat. Allen wouldn't believe those words. He will never believe those words. Something like that would never be true, right? Who would believe his master? No one. No one. Cross has no proof. Even Mana, the person who adopted him, doesn't know his parents so how can a person whom he just met after Mana died say something as impossible as that? His parents hate him so much that they might have erased every evidence about Allen, being a part of their life. "Don't joke about something like that, it's not funny," Allen said seriously as he looked at his Master.
Cross stared at Allen with annoyance. Surely, Allen wouldn't easily believe him but saying that what he said was a joke when the atmosphere was so serious is stupidity. "Idiot pupil, it's the truth," he informed Allen before looking at his other idiot pupil. "Nathan, tell him about your lost brother," he commanded Nathan, so he can prove to his idiot pupils that they are siblings. Well, he hadn't told Nathan about Allen, being his brother.
Nathan looked at his Master, then at Allen with worried eyes. He bowed his head and exhaled heavily before he started. "True, I have a lost brother. B-But Onii-san… I mean Walker-san is not him," he said as he looked at Cross again. "Mama told me that my brother has a red left arm and a cross at the back of his left hand. Oni— Walker-san doesn't have one," he added. "Be—."
"SHUT UP!" Allen suddenly shouted, startling Nathan. He couldn't take what he was hearing. Nathan hasn't seen his left arm before but the boy could describe it already. Maybe, his Master and Nathan set this up. This is not true.
Nathan looked at Allen and saw his Onii-san's pissed expression. "Onii—."
"Don't call me that!" Allen shouted again. He is pissed— really, really pissed. There is no way this is all true… no way. "Stop already," he whispered. Stop lying…Surely, he likes Nathan, that's a fact. But Nathan is a good boy… There's no way Nathan has a brother like him.
Nathan bowed his head again as he felt scared because of Allen's loud voice. He was just explaining to his Master but Allen got mad at him. Honestly, he wants Allen to be his brother but he never thought that Allen is his brother. Allen is just too kind to be his sibling. It's very impossible that he is Allen's younger brother. Maybe… that's the reason why the older exorcist got mad at him. With that thought, Nathan let his tears form in his eyes. He really likes Allen.
"Idiot pupil, don't cry there. Continue," he commanded Nathan. "Allen, listen to him, you idiot," he said.
Allen only frowned as a response while Nathan has his second thoughts of continuing. He didn't want to make Allen angrier.
"CONTINUE," Cross scared his pupil.
Nathan twitched as he heard his Master's intense voice. "Y-Yes," he quickly answered. He really didn't want to continue but he has to or else his master will surely punish him. "B-Before Master took me away from home, Mama and Papa told me to search for my brother. They are really sorry for what they did. They said that I should go with Master because there'd be more chances in finding my brother. They abandoned him when he was just a baby and now they really wanted to be forgiven. So even if I didn't want to go, I went with Master. Master, you told me that you'll help me find my brother. But you never did anything. And if Walker-san is really my brother, why didn't you tell me earlier? You're lying, Master," he said as he looked at his Master.
Cross ignored the last part of Nathan's words and looked at Allen. "Allen, show him. You know what I'm talking about," Cross commanded again.
"Hn, even if I show him, I will still not believe it. That is not enough proof," Allen smirked at his Master.
"Neah started watching you when you were still in your mother's womb. He knew then, that you are his successor. And of course, Mana knew that as well. You can watch it on Tim if you want proof. Neah created Tim after all," Cross suddenly said to the boy as he got pissed. That is the truth. He had watched everything about Allen.
Allen was shocked at the said words. If everything about him was on Tim, then that would be really true. His master told him before that Tim isn't his or the Order's. Cross didn't make Tim so maybe Neah really created Timcanpy. It's just like the golem lero of Millennium Earl— they have their own minds. "That's not true," Allen whispered as he stood up. What hurts him the most now is not his Master or Nathan lying to him… but it was Mana who knew everything from the start yet his foster father hid it from him. "Not true…" he repeated as he took a step out but unexpectedly bumped Kanda who was blocking his way. "Kanda…" he whispered as he stared at Kanda with teary eyes.
"It's true. You know it. Don't run away," Kanda told his beloved. "You felt it right from the start. Stop running away. Just accept it," he said as he unbuttoned Allen's shirt.
Allen didn't stop nor resist Kanda's actions. He just stared at his lover with uncertainties. It's true that he felt Nathan in his heart right from the very start— when his heart skipped a beat when Nathan suddenly hugged him and when he couldn't move and when he couldn't say no all because of Nathan. But Nathan would not want him to be his brother. "But Kanda… Nathan—."
"Likes you back," Kanda continued Allen's words. He knows what is going on in his bean sprout's mind. He knows vey well why Allen isn't accepting this at all. Allen is just too easy to read. Allen is too pessimistic when people talk about family.
"But—"
"It will be fine," Kanda assured as he removed the left side of Allen's shirt, revealing the boy's deformed arm.
Nathan stared at Allen's left arm with amazement. He couldn't believe it. Allen has his brother's arm. Then Allen is really his…
"You're brothers, you're siblings," Cross said again to the two white-haired exorcists.
"Look at Nathan, Allen," Kanda whispered to his Moyashi.
Allen obeyed Kanda. He turned to face Nathan— his brother, who was standing up at the moment.
Nathan stared at his Onii-san. He wants to hug Allen but Kanda will surely kill him. But he really wants to do it. He really wants to feel a brother's warm embrace. He wants to feel Allen's calming embrace… just like before. "Kanda-san?" Nathan whispered, not knowing where to start. He wants to ask permission from the Japanese exorcist but he's scared.
"Tch," Kanda smirk, giving Nathan the permission to do it. These two bean sprouts are really easy to read. But really, Nathan didn't have to ask permission from him because they are brothers. Nathan should know his rights.
"T-Thank you," Nathan smiled and thanked Kanda before jumping to Allen. He hugged Allen tightly and closed his eyes to feel more of his brother's presence.
Allen hugged Nathan back with a smile. Nathan's hug never fails to make his heart skip a beat. He hugged Nathan tighter, knowing that he has a family on his side. This little kid is his brother. Nathan is his brother. "Nathan," he called the boy as he looked at him.
Nathan looked back at Allen. "Onii-san?"
"It's Allen-niisan," Allen corrected Nathan.
Nathan suddenly blushed. Allen just gave him the permission to call his brother by the name. "I… I'm shy," he whispered as he pulled away from the hug. He covered his flushed cheeks with both hands.
Allen stared and smiled at Nathan again. Nathan is adorable. His little brother covers his cheeks… just the cheeks. He just looks so cute doing that.
Kanda just smirked. Nathan's actions are like Allen's. But Allen is cuter and sexier.
That is so like you, kid. Lavi smiled secretly in his thoughts.
"Kanda, I will sleep with Nathan tonight," Allen said as he sat on the Japanese man's bed.
Hearing those words, Kanda frowned. "You won't," he answered intensely as he pointed his Mugen at Allen's forehead.
Allen got surprised at Kanda's sudden action. "K-Kanda, you idiot!" he shouted as he backed himself then, hit the wall behind him. Honestly, who would point their weapon at their own lover?
Kanda kneeled on the bed, still pointing his Mugen at the bean sprout. Using his sword, he unbuttoned Allen's shirt (Well, Kanda was actually tearing Allen's shirt).
"K-Kanda? What are you doing?" Allen asked as he tried to sink himself to the wall. Kanda is gliding his Mugen on Allen's chest. "Are you… Are you going to kill me… K-Kanda?" Allen gulped nervously. This is the sword that stabbed him after all.
Using the back of his sword, Kanda lifted Allen's chin up, making the boy look at him directly in the eyes. He stared at the bean sprout who was staring at him with fear. "Damn," he cursed as he withdrew his Mugen.
"Kanda?" Allen called his beloved as he felt his heart at ease. "Why?" he asked.
Kanda sat beside Allen and rested his back on the wall. He exhaled heavily.
Allen frowned at Kanda when he felt that the Japanese exorcist ignores all his questions. "What's wrong, Kanda? I'm asking you. You should answer me, idiot Kanda!" Allen pouted as he glared at Kanda.
Kanda stared at Allen first before pinching the boy's lips with his fingers. "Your lips… always pout. Are you seducing me, Moyashi?"
Allen blushed unexpectedly. Pouting was never a way to seduce someone. Getting angry, Allen kneeled in front of Kanda and imprisoned the Japanese exorcist with his both arms. "I'm seriously asking you, Kanda," he repeated looking at his lover intensely in the eyes.
Kanda smirked at Allen. An uke acting like a seme is surely funny. "Baka Moyashi," he said as he hugged the boy, making Allen straddle his lap.
"BaKanda, why are you smirking? Are you making fun of me again?" Allen asked as he rested his head on Kanda's shoulder. It's really making him feel lonely when Kanda always makes fun of him. He always tries to avoid fighting Kanda but Kanda always tries to start it.
Kanda combed the back of Allen's hair gently. Well, he could feel it. Allen will truly be mad if he won't say it. "I'm not making fun of you," Kanda answered as he looked up at the ceiling. "I just can't believe I got jealous because of your younger brother, it's annoying," he said to Allen.
Hearing the said words, Allen chuckled cutely.
"Baka Moyashi, what are you laughing at?" Kanda asked as he pulled away from the hug and glared at his bean sprout.
Allen just smiled at his lover and cupped Kanda's cheek with both hands. "You're just cute, Kanda," Allen said.
Kanda frowned angrily at the said words. There's no way he is cute. He was never cute. "Baka Moyashi, let's see who is cute," he said as he pushed Allen on the bed. He got insulted.
"Waahhh! Kanda! I'm just kidding… kidding! Ah! No… haah…"
"Allen-niisan, can I really sleep here?" Nathan asked as he tightly hugged the pillow he brought here. He was sitting on his brother's bed. Allen was changing his clothes (Kanda just ripped his shirt). "Won't Kanda-san get mad at me?"
A dark shade of pink was formed on Allen's pale cheek quickly when he heard his lover's name. Kanda tore his shirt earlier even though he knows very well that Allen didn't bring his exorcist coat. So what Allen did was wear Kanda's coat even though it's big for him. He wouldn't walk in the corridors of the HQ half-naked… not when he has kiss marks all over his body. "Its fine," Allen said as he sat beside his little brother. This will be a punishment for Kanda also. Kanda always attacks him.
"Thank you, Allen-niisan. I thought you wouldn't want me to be your brother but then you accepted me. I really thank you, Allen-niisan. You're really kind," Nathan told the older exorcist.
Allen patted the top of Nathan's head. They are really the same. "I like you. You shouldn't think that way," Allen said with a smile. "Hey, can you tell me about you and our parents? You said that our parents were really sorry for what they did to me. Can you tell what happened, Nathan? Why did they feel that way?" he asked Nathan.
"Ahh… yeah," Nathan answered. "I really love our parents, Nii-san. They're always there for me. They never left me. We were so happy 'til Mama got sick. Well, the doctor said that she doesn't have much time to live. A year or two. That's what he said. I was so lonely then because Mama is still young to die," Nathan said. He looked at his brother and smiled at him. "Mama and Papa married at a young age. Mama gave birth to you when she was just 16. Papa was 18 back then. That's what they told me."
"When did you know you have an elder brother?" Allen asked the boy.
"I… I always thought I was the only son. They only told me the truth when Mama's disease worsened… when she couldn't even get up from bed. They said that that was the punishment for the sin they had committed. I asked them where my brother is but they couldn't give me an answer. They didn't want to tell me what happened. That was when I met Master. Master was so kind to me so I let him visit Mama. I was surprised when he knew what happened to my brother. True that I told him I have a brother, but I didn't say anything about how our parents didn't want to tell me where he is. Master told our parents that he would help them find my brother. But only if I'll go with him. Mama and Papa didn't force me to go but I can see in their eyes that they really want to be forgiven. So I… went with Master," Nathan explained continuously.
"You love our parents so much, don't you?" Allen asked as he rested his arm across Nathan's shoulder.
"Y-Yes. Do you hate them, Allen-niisan?" Nathan asked with a sad frown. He didn't want Allen to hate their parents. But that would be so selfish to ask. Their parents abandoned Allen without any hesitations even though Allen was just a baby.
"I can't say I hate them. I'm old enough to think that way. Well, I met Mana because of them so I really can't say I hate them but…" Allen said but paused to look at Nathan. He lifted his younger brother's chin using his thumb, making the boy look at him directly in the eyes. "I can't say I love them either. Please understand that, Nathan," Allen said.
Nathan smiled at the said words. There's no doubt he got such a good brother. "T-Thank you, Nii-san," he thanked the older exorcist in front of him. His brother seems to have white wings behind him like an angel.
"Now tell me what Shisho did to you when you were traveling with him. I'll get your revenge," Allen said with his evil smile.
"A-Allen-niisan?" Nathan suddenly felt nervous. The white wings were gone and now his brother got an evil smile. (Me: Allen, you shouldn't show Nathan your evil side!)
Lavi walked in the corridors of HQ with a gloomy expression on his face. He has a very big problem… And he doesn't know what to do. He let out a big sigh before seeing his best friend sitting outside his own room (Kanda's room) with a gloomy expression also. "Yuu!" he shouted as he ran and sat beside the Japanese exorcist.
"I told you not to call me that," Kanda said as he glared at Lavi.
"Hn, not with Allen tonight, huh? Have you seen Nathan?" Lavi asked the Japanese man.
"Tch," Kanda looked away from the Rabbit still with a frown on his face. That was exactly the reason why he isn't with Allen tonight. "They're sleeping together," he answered.
"Ohh… so that's why," Lavi whispered. That's why Kanda had a gloomy expression on his face. Then maybe, it's alright to talk to the Japanese now about his problem since Kanda had nothing to do. "Yuu, can I talk to you?" Lavi asked permission.
"Tch, you're already talking," Kanda answered coldly.
Lavi thought of words to start. But it's really hard to tell Kanda about his feelings… so where should he start, really? "How do you feel when you're with Allen, Yuu?" he asked with a nervous smile on his face. Surely, Kanda will be mad at him because of that question.
Kanda blushed because of the question. Why would Lavi want to know about something like that? True, Lavi is his best friend but asking something like that is not like him at all. Lavi has something he wants to ask but the rabbit just don't know how to say it straightforwardly. "Baka Usagi, get straight to the point, tch," Kanda frowned.
"I'm serious, Yuu. How did you know that love is what you feel for Allen?" Lavi asked seriously at his best friend. Truth to be told, he's really confused at what he is feeling right now. It just doesn't feel right.
Kanda stared at Lavi. He observed the Bookman Jr. thoroughly. He smirked maliciously when he found out why Lavi is acting strange. "Tch, so you like the bean sprout II that much," Kanda said, seeing right through Lavi.
"What? I didn't say— how did you know, Yuu?" Lavi asked the Japanese exorcist. There's no way Kanda would know it that easily. Bookmen are good at pretending.
"You can't hide anything from a best friend, you said it, baka Usagi," Kanda told the Bookman Jr.
Lavi smirked at the said words. That was the first time Kanda said that he was his best friend. Well, Allen could really make Kanda be more honest. "It's not good for a Bookman, Yuu. How do I stop this?" Lavi asked with his playful tone, but still, he is serious.
"Bookmen are still human, baka Usagi. There's no way having some feelings isn't good," Kanda informed Lavi.
"But Bookmen are different, Yuu. We treat humans as a small piece of history. Bookmen don't need love and emotions," Lavi said seriously. Kanda just doesn't get him.
"Tch, if you don't have a heart, that might be true, baka Usagi. No matter how you look at it, Bookman's principles are impossible. You're a human, baka Usagi. God created us with emotions. Even your old Panda has someone he cares for. You just don't see it," Kanda told the rabbit coldly.
"So what you are saying is that it is okay for me to love the kid. But would that be really alright?" Lavi asked again.
"Tch. You're not an idiot, Lavi. You know it," Kanda said.
Maybe Yuu is right. They say once you've felt it, it never stops. "Hn, Thank you, Yuu," Lavi thanked Kanda. He grinned happily when he remembered something he also wants to ask. "So how many times have you two done it?"
Kanda woke up early today. Well, because there was no bean sprout beside him last night to hug and comfort him. Now, he is waiting in front of the bean sprout's room. He wanted to see Allen now, but he'll have to wait 'til Nathan get out of there.
"I'm going now, Allen-niisan, thank you."
Finally, Kanda heard those words and saw the door opened.
Nathan walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He was about to walk to his room when he saw the Japanese exorcist. "K-Kanda-san," he mumbled. "G-Good morning," he greeted as he bowed his head.
Kanda attempted to greet the boy back but Nathan suddenly ran away quickly, hugging the pillow tightly. Scared huh? Kanda smirked before walking inside Allen's room. The bean sprout didn't notice him so Kanda closed the door quietly behind him. (Allen was currently wearing his exorcist coat) Kanda leaned his back to the door as he waited for Allen to be aware of his presence.
When Allen was done buttoning his coat, he turned around and was surprised to see his Japanese lover. "Kanda!" he shouted as he hugged Kanda tightly. He's really, really happy to see Kanda.
Kanda smirked at how Allen reacted and hugged the boy back. "Miss me, Moyashi?" he asked.
"Y-Yes," Allen answered honestly as he looked at Kanda. "Good morning, Kanda," he greeted his lover.
"Good morning," Kanda greeted back before giving his bean sprout an intense kiss on the lips.
Nathan quickly ran to his room. He is really scared of Kanda. He was near to his room when he suddenly bumped someone, causing him to fall on the floor. "Oww," Nathan hissed.
"In a hurry, kid?" Lavi asked as he lent his hand to the boy.
Nathan looked at Lavi. "Lavi-san, good morning," he said with a smile as he took the Bookman's hand.
"Good morning," Lavi greeted back.
FF
"Lavi-san, don't look," Nathan said (his back was facing Lavi).
"I'm not looking," Lavi lied. He was actually getting excited to see Nathan change clothes. He has never seen Nathan's body before.
"Don't lie, Lavi-san," Nathan pouted with a blush on his face. He told the older man to just wait outside because he's going to change clothes but Lavi insisted on coming inside. He can't say no to elders, right? He's a good boy, after all. Nathan removed his shirt, then his pants, leaving only his boxers.
Lavi stared at Nathan's pale and sexy body. "You're beautiful, kid," he whispered subconsciously, adoring the angel in front of him.
Hearing the said words, Nathan blushed darker. He was never beautiful. No one had told him that, only his parents. But he never believed it, because he is short and not beautiful. Is Lavi insulting him? Nathan turned around and saw the older exorcist looking at him. "You're a liar, Lavi-san, I told you not to look," he pouted as he went near the Bookman Jr. He covered Lavi's eyes with his own bandana. "Don't take it off, Lavi-san, I'm looking at you," he demanded as he wore his clothes quickly.
"Geez kid, you're no fun," Lavi sighed as he waited for the boy to finish dressing— without peeking.
"K-Kanda? What are you doing?" Allen panicked when Kanda suddenly pushed him down on bed. Kanda undressed him and now, he's only wearing his boxers. And for an unknown reason, Kanda tied his wrists above his head. (Well, who wouldn't panic when you're in that situation?) "Kanda?" Allen called as he looked at his beloved.
"Body inspection," Kanda answered seriously as he investigated Allen's body. "What's this, Moyashi?" Kanda asked as he saw a red mark on the boy's chest. He touched every red mark on Allen's body making the boy moan cutely. "And this, also? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This? This?" he asked in a serious tone.
"Kanda, you're not serious, are you?" Allen asked as he tried to free his wrists.
"I'm serious," Kanda answered seriously as he looked at Allen fiercely in the eyes.
Allen couldn't believe it. Kanda is really serious. Allen frowned and got pissed because of the said words. "BaKanda!" Allen shouted as he activated his innocence to free himself. Once he had freed his wrists, he deactivated his innocence and cupped Kanda's cheeks with both hands. (Kanda was on top of him) "Kanda, you're an idiot. You did these to me yesterday," Allen said with a smile.
Kanda blinked. No way.
Allen grinned cutely at Kanda. "I really love you, Kanda," he said as he sat. He straddled Kanda and kissed the Japanese man's neck. "I'll put mine here," he said before sucking the older exorcist's neck.
"Moyashi, that's impossible," Kanda said as he touched Allen's hair. "That won't leave a mark."
Hearing the said words, Allen stopped sucking Kanda's neck and looked at his beloved with confusion. "Why?" he asked.
"It will just heal," Kanda answered.
"But I want to…" Allen whispered and pouted sadly at the older exorcist. He really wanted to mark Kanda that Kanda is his. But that's impossible.
"Tch." Seeing the sad expression on Allen's face, Kanda leaned his face near Allen's ear and whispered something that made the bean sprout blush. "You're satisfied now, Moyashi?" he asked.
"You won't do that, liar!" Allen shouted, still with a blush on his face. Kanda will never do something like that for him. But he would be really happy if Kanda would do it.
"I will, if you want me to. And it looks like you do," Kanda said with a smirk.
"B-BaKanda," Allen whispered as he looked away from the Japanese exorcist, still with a blush on his face.
"YUU! How long are you going to torture Moyashi-chan? We're hungry!" A voice shouted from the outside. It was obviously Lavi's voice.
"Tch," Kanda hissed with a frown.
FF After eating.
The four were walking down the hallways of HQ. Nathan and Allen walked beside each other while Kanda and Lavi were behind them.
"Why are you so scared of Kanda, Nathan?" Allen asked the boy.
Nathan looked at Kanda at the back nervously then at Allen, then he bowed his head. "Ahmn… B-Because Allen-niisan, I saw red marks on your body last night, right? You told me Kanda-san did it. There were so many red… Kanda-san is really scary. He did those to you. And even Lavi-san said earlier about how long Kanda-san is going to torture you… So Kanda-san is really, really scary," Nathan answered innocently.
Allen was silenced at Nathan's answer. Nathan is too innocent.
"Yuu, haha, is that the self-control you're telling me last night? Hahaha," Lavi laughed at Kanda.
"Tch," Kanda only frowned. "You're one to talk. But I can also see a red mark on the kid's neck," he smirked at Lavi. "Self-control, huh?" Kanda said with arrogance.
Hearing the said words, Allen stopped walking (and so did the three) and moved in front of Nathan. He stared at Nathan's neck and saw a kiss mark on it. "Who did this to you, Nathan?" he asked angrily, touching the kiss mark on Nathan's neck.
"Huh?"
Nathan surely didn't get what Allen said. Allen thought of a word to say that wouldn't ruin his little brother's innocence. "You have a red mark here," Allen explained.
Nathan thought of why he had a red mark on his neck. "Oh! I know," Nathan answered with a smile. Lavi's sweat dropped because of that. "Lavi-san became a vampire the other night, when we arrived here. So he sucked my neck. He even bit my lip and it bled a little, Allen-niisan," he answered innocently.
Oh God. Save me. Lavi couldn't help but think of what will happen. Allen will surely kill him. But he didn't know that those two are siblings that time. (Me: Lavi, that's not an excuse!)
"Not attacking an innocent kid?" Kanda smirked at Lavi again.
"La-vi," Allen whispered, trying to stop himself from killing Lavi. "Baka Lavi!" he shouted as he activated his innocence.
Lavi ran quickly. Allen ran after him. Kanda ran after Allen. Nathan tried to run too but a voice called him.
"Nathan."
Nathan turned around to see who called him. It was Bookman. "G-Good morning," Nathan greeted.
"A Bookman shouldn't get close to anyone. Lavi is the next Bookman. Do you understand me, kid? I'd appreciate if you distance yourself a little from Lavi," Bookman told the boy straightforwardly.
Nathan felt a stab in his heart. Does Bookman want him to stay away from Lavi? "I…"
"I'm not asking you to stay away from him. It's just not good for a Bookman," Bookman said. It's not that he hates this kid. He just doesn't want Lavi to be a failure.
"I-I understand," Nathan answered.