In My Life
Chapter 4: You're Here
He walked into her hospital room and sat by the bed. He had just gotten off the phone with Munch who had informed him that they had found a shallow grave behind the cabin. He knew he had to tell Olivia about it but she had so much to deal with right now. He could barely look her in the eye after they had emerged from the basement to find that Andy was gone. He had been cursing himself ever since. Why hadn't he just thought to cuff Andy to something?
She had been staring out the window until she heard his footsteps. She turned to see him take a seat beside her and she managed a faint smile at seeing him again. The hospital felt so God damned lonely. Granted it was better than the basement of Andy's cabin though she still felt like the loneliness could crush her at any moment. She opened her mouth and quietly forced the word "Hey," from her lips. She hadn't felt much like talking and as soon as she had uttered that single syllable, she fell silent once more, shifting her gaze away from him and back towards the window.
Elliot cleared his throat "Half the state of Virginia is looking for him Liv. He won't hurt you ever again," Elliot knew that these words were little comfort. The plain, sickening truth was that Andy had already hurt her. He reached a hand out tentatively in her direction "Did they do a rape kit yet?" he asked as his hand covered hers where it lay limp in her lap.
"No," she whispered, shutting her eyes and bracing herself against the words she was going to say next "And I can't let them," Andy's semen wasn't the only DNA sample inside her. She would have to tell whoever ended up investigating her case, that she had been intimate with another man only hours before the rape. There was no guarantee that that information would be kept private. If it somehow leaked to internal affairs, Elliot's career would be put in danger. She was fairly sure that hers was more than likely over.
"Liv," Elliot began but she held up a hand to silence his protests.
"Elliot, I can't. I'm not going to get you in trouble over this," she put her hand back down in her lap "I'm not gonna turn what was a beautiful moment between two people into some tawdry, sorted media frenzy. IAB would tear us both apart, you know that," she had been giving this a lot of thought while he had been on the phone "They'll pin Andy for the kidnapping. That'll be enough."
"Olivia," Elliot sighed heavily "Don't, don't fall on your sword for me."
"I'm not," she told him, still refusing to look at him.
"Let them do the kit Liv," he whispered "You can't let him get away with doing this to you. Let them know that we had sex and don't ever look back. What's the worst IAB can do?" he knew the worst that IAB could do. Split them up as partners, definitely. Bust them back down to beat cops, it was a possibility but Elliot was prepared to say that it had all been his idea. Getting kicked off the force, worst case scenario, Elliot knew that he wouldn't let that happen to Olivia. He would fall on his sword for her. This job was her life and he wasn't going to let her lose that.
"I can't do it Elliot," Olivia stared at her lap as tears began to brim in her eyes "I won't do that to you. Your credibility will be ruined."
"Don't think about me," he told her "Don't think about the job or about what might happen if anyone finds out that we had sex," he took a deep breath "Think of yourself for once. Let them do the kit."
Olivia finally looked him in the eye as she told him as sternly as she could "No," she tore her gaze from him and continued to stare out the window. Every once in a while, her hand would drift up her arm to where the IV needle was pumping fluids into her to combat the dehydration that she had suffered in the heat of the basement. As soon as the IV was out of her arm, she knew that she would be out of the hospital. Let Andy try and come after her. She suddenly didn't care.
"Liv," Elliot tried again.
"Elliot," she silenced him by holding her hand up again "Just stop, okay?" as if it wasn't hard for her to say that she wasn't going to have a rape kit done. She knew that it would most likely come back to haunt her when they brought Andy to trial but there was no way that she could sacrifice Elliot's career no matter how much he said it didn't bother him. They sat in silence for a long time before Olivia spoke again "Did they ever find that woman that Andy killed?" she had begun to think she was going insane when she heard those gunshots. Even though she had seen all the blood in the main room of the cabin, on some level she needed to know that the woman had existed so that she knew she hadn't lost her mind.
Elliot cleared his throat "Um… Yeah. They found a freshly dug shallow grave behind the cabin."
"Do you know who she was?" Olivia asked. She still had the feeling that the woman wasn't a complete stranger to her. She had a suspicion that Andy had had help from the inside.
Elliot cleared his throat again. This was uncomfortable. It wouldn't be easy to tell her this. He took another deep breath and cleared his throat again "It was Millie," he said finally.
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Daisy crawled around on the pillows of the motel bed as Maggie watched her like a hawk. Maggie Read marveled at how carefree her little girl was. Daisy was almost always smiling. Brad never even paid attention to his own child and while it sounded horrible, it was truly a blessing. Maggie had been Brad's favorite punching bag and he had never laid a hand on Daisy. Daisy stopped her exploring and sat on the bed.
Maggie pulled the ten month old into her lap "I'm so sorry about all of this baby," she told her "I should have gotten away from him months ago." Daisy simply cooed and wrapped the fingers of her tiny hand around her mother's finger. She flashed that innocent smile and Maggie couldn't help but smile back "I love you so much," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to Daisy's forehead.
Maggie reached into her pocket and took out the card that Ruben had given her "What do you think Daisy?" she asked "Do you think its time that I ask for help?"
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"Thanks Fin," Casey said into her cell phone after Fin had filled her in about their having found Olivia. Casey was relieved to hear that Olivia was safe. She hadn't pressed for details other than that Olivia was physically fine. She wasn't ready to deal with the rest of it. She hung up her phone and headed towards her car; she was late for work and she was hung over. In her hurry, she didn't notice that her purse had fallen to the ground.
"Hey," someone called out to her "Excuse me," the person ran to catch up with her "Miss?" the man ran right into her.
"What the hell is your problem?" Casey said angrily as she turned to face the man who had almost knocked her off her feet. She had one hell of a splitting headache and didn't want to deal with anyone right now.
The man with strawberry blond hair and blue eyes smiled apologetically "Sorry," he said as he held the purse out to her "You dropped this."
"Oh," Casey's tone changed significantly as she felt the blush creep across her cheeks "Thanks," she tried to smile but was still paralyzed with embarrassment "Um… sorry about that. I… my day just isn't off to a good start."
"Don't worry about it," the man smiled understandingly "In this city, if a stranger starts chasing after you, you have to be careful."
"Yeah," Casey agreed. She unlocked the door of her car and slid in. As she turned the keys in the ignition she called out "Thanks again…"
"Noah," the man who Casey had to admit was good looking, called out "Noah Gabriel."
"Casey Novak," Casey called out the window "It was nice to meet you Noah," she caught a glimpse of her watch and realized that she was now incredibly late for work "Bye," she called as she sped away.
"It was nice to meet you too Casey," Noah said as he watched her drive away. He couldn't help wondering if he would ever run into her again.
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"Maybe you can talk some sense into her," Elliot was saying as he moved out of the door of Olivia's room to let someone pass "She's not listening to me."
Cragen hobbled in on his crutches and Olivia's eyes widened. She hadn't really seen anyone but Elliot and the doctors and nurses in the hospital since she had gotten out of that basement "What happened?" she asked, her tone full of compassion.
"I got into a fight with a bridge," Cragen said dryly as he took a seat beside Olivia's bed, setting his crutches down beside him "How are you feeling?"
"I've been better," Olivia shot Elliot an angry look. Just how much had he told Cragen? Did he drag the injured captain into her room to coerce her into having a rape kit done? She turned her face from both men and began to closely reexamine the now all too familiar scenery outside of the window.
Cragen cleared his throat, the topic was uncomfortable for him. He like all his detectives had dealt with many victims but it had never been so close to home and the circumstances had never been so far reaching "I think you should have the rape kit done," he told her.
"You do know you can't order me to have it done," she shot back. She still glared at Elliot as he tried to shrink into the corner. She felt betrayed by this latest move of his. How dare he tell Cragen anything?
Cragen cleared his throat again "I know that," he said as he shifted positions in the chair. He was starting to wish he was still lying at the bottom of that ravine "What I'm trying to say is that… if there's any reason you don't want to have it done that has to do with your job or someone else's-"
"Oh God," Olivia wished she wasn't hooked up to the IV so she could jump out of the bed and strangle Elliot "What did you tell him?"
"The truth," Elliot responded softly as he took a step closer to the bed and took a seat on the edge of it. He reached out to Olivia but she pulled back from him almost instantly. He withdrew his hand "What happens if the kidnapping charges fall through?" he asked, knowing full well that Andy Eckerson probably had access to a lawyer who could do just that "He could go free and hurt someone else."
"He's not gonna go after anyone else," Olivia whispered as she hid her face "He only wants me."
Cragen took this moment to rise from his chair and make his way slowly to the door "Um… I'll be outside if you need me," he said awkwardly, not wanting to intrude on this intimate moment.
Elliot moved closer to Olivia and reached out to her again "Liv, it's just me here," he reassured her and she let him wrap his arms gently around her. He ran a hand through her hair as he told her "He won't get another chance to hurt you. Please have the rape kit done. You and I both know that the longer you wait, the evidence is just disappearing."
Olivia nodded "You know you're a stubborn jackass," she said into his shirt as she let tears fall.
"I've heard that," he chuckled a little "I've also been called a son-of-a-bitch, an asshole, a-"
"I get the point," Olivia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she pulled away to look at him "Will you stay with me… when they do it?" she asked timidly.
Elliot smiled and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze "Of course."
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"She played me," Ruben sat at a bar, staring into the depths of a diet coke. He had cared for Millie, he really had and she had turned around and betrayed the entire NYPD. He had been right not to trust her the previous night. She had probably been planning to just take the badge and never enter it into evidence in the first place. Now at least they knew that the badge existed although that did them very little good. The case was crumbling underneath their feet.
"She had us all fooled," Captain Siper told Ruben. She had taken the young man out to the bar for lunch to talk because he looked like he needed to vent his emotions on someone. So far the only emotion she had gotten out of him was despondency.
"I loved her," he whispered as he lifted his glass and took a long sip of the soda.
"You'll get through this," Siper said encouragingly "It may not seem like it now but you will."
Ruben was about to say something when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open "Morales," he answered.
"Hi," he recognized the voice instantly. It was Maggie, the woman from earlier that morning. She sounded afraid "You may not remember me but we met this morning."
"Maggie," Ruben said gently "What's wrong?"
"It's Brad," she whispered "My boyfriend, he's coming after me. I saw him downstairs and-"
"Where are you?" Ruben asked as he stood up from his seat "I'll be there as soon as I can."
"The Lydia motel," she answered quickly. Suddenly there was a crash "Please hurry?" she begged before the phone went dead.
Ruben was out of the bar in a flash with Siper hot on his heals "What was that about?" she asked as Ruben hailed a cab.
Ruben opened the door and slid in as he answered her "This girl I met this morning. She was running away from her abusive boyfriend. She's at the Lydia and he found her," he was speaking at lightening fast speed. He turned to the driver "Lydia motel please."
The cab sped off, leaving Siper standing on the sidewalk, trying to figure out what Ruben had just said. When she finally made sense of the jumble of words he had just sputtered, she pulled out her cell phone.
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Casey groaned and rubbed her temples. She still had that God awful headache and was not in the mood to prosecute any cases. Lucky for her that wasn't what she had to do. No, even worse, she had to discuss the terms of a deal with a guy who had been caught exposing himself in Central Park. She groaned again, looking across the table at Ryan Williams "Where is your lawyer?" she asked irritably.
Williams shifted uncomfortably "I don't know," he answered in a timid voice.
The door opened and Casey prepared to deliver all her rage onto the tardy attorney when her jaw dropped "What are you doing here?" she asked in pure surprise.
"Sorry I'm late, I…" Noah Gabriel stopped talking as soon as his eyes landed on Casey "I guess I could ask you the same question," he stood stunned.
"Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak," she extended her hand "And you must be Mr. Williams' lawyer."
"I must be… I mean… I am," Noah replied, stunned.
Williams watched the scene that played out in front of him "Can I just go to jail now?" he asked.
Casey and Noah stared at each other for a long time, neither of them saying a word until Casey finally spoke up "Um… we should get started."
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Ruben ran into the run down motel and up to the desk clerk. After what seemed like an eternity of trying to get a straight answer from him about whether he had rented a room to a woman with a baby, he finally learned the room number and ran up the stairs. When he reached the room, the door was already open. His heart began to pound even faster "Maggie!" he called out as he stepped into the room. The place looked like it had been trashed "Maggie!" he called again. All of a sudden he heard something. He fell completely silent and listened. He followed the sound to the closet. He pulled the door open and there on the floor of the closet, he saw Daisy, half hidden by the diaper bag.
He picked the baby up and rocked her gently "Shhh," he whispered "It's gonna be okay," he held the baby close to him as he bent to pick up the diaper bag. He stood up and turned around to see Siper standing in the doorway, along with two officers that he recognized but not by name.
"Morales," Siper said sternly "Do you mind explaining what you're doing with a baby?"
"This is Maggie's daughter," Ruben told her "She must have hid her in the closet and let her boyfriend find her in hopes that he wouldn't go after the baby."
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"You didn't tell me you were a defense attorney," Casey said as she reached for her glass. She didn't want a repeat of the night before so for the moment she was sticking to water. She had agreed to go with Noah to a little café for a little afternoon snack and she had to admit, she was enjoying his company.
"I barely had a chance to tell you my name," Noah laughed "You were in such a hurry this morning."
"Sorry about that," Casey said softly "I just had a really rough night. I didn't really get a lot of sleep."
"Tough case coming up in court?" he asked.
"If there was," she reprimanded "I don't think it would be prudent to be discussing it with you," she sighed "It's complicated."
"I've been told I'm a good listener," Noah playfully initiated a game of footsy under the table but Casey didn't really join in.
"My boyfriend kind of broke up with me last night over the phone," she began. She had no idea why she was telling all of this to the man who sat across from her but for some reason she felt like she could confide in him "So I got really wasted to try and forget it all."
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"Munch, Fin and Cragen are heading back to Manhattan," Elliot said as he sat down once again in what had become his chair. He handed Olivia the cup of coffee that he had snuck in for her.
"Ah," she exclaimed as she took the cup from his outstretched hand "Liquid salvation," she took a sip and looked up "Why aren't you going with them?" she asked. She didn't want him to leave but she was perfectly capable of getting back to Manhattan on her own once she was released. The thing was that no matter how much she needed him, the city of New York probably needed him a whole lot more.
"I wasn't gonna leave you all alone out here," he told her. He shifted positions in the chair and took a swig of his own coffee "Speaking of which," he began "When are the doctors thinking about springing you?"
"They say my blood work looks fine," she informed him "But they just want to keep me overnight for observation because of this," she touched a hand to the head wound which was now more professionally bandaged.
"Tomorrow," he smiled "The guys took the car so we sort of have to take the bus."
"That's fine with me," Olivia said as she began to pick at the tape that held her IV in place. It was unbelievably itchy. She thought of something and wasn't sure she should bring it up but when the conversation died down and the silence became unbearable, she finally asked "Elliot?"
"Yeah?" he responded in a drowsy tone; he was starting to nod off in the chair.
"Did you mean what you said on that message or…?" she trailed off, afraid to finish the question. When she glanced over at Elliot, she realized that even if she had had the courage to finish the question, he wouldn't have been able to answer it. Elliot had fallen into what appeared to be a deep sleep in what appeared to be a very uncomfortable position. Olivia smiled and sat back against her pillows. She didn't think she would really be able to get any sleep but it was nice to have Elliot there.
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Ruben had refused to hand Daisy over to anyone. His fellow CSU techs had searched the room for evidence and found alarming results. Of course, because it was a hotel room, the semen and blood could have belonged to anyone. Or at least that's what Ruben kept telling himself.
Siper had called Captain Cragen and informed him that SVU had one heck of a case to deal with and Cragen had said that he and two of his detectives would be back in the city as soon as they could. Ruben trusted the SVU detectives and knew that they would find Maggie or at least find her boyfriend and bring him to justice but he was still afraid. He had only known Maggie for a brief time but he had felt a connection with her instantly. He hoped that wherever she was, she was okay.
Daisy began to cry and Ruben fished around in the diaper bag until he found a jar of baby food "I hope you like…" he looked at the label "Mashed carrots," Ruben made a face and Daisy giggled up at him. He bounced the little girl on his knee "So are you hungry?" he asked the child, fully aware that she couldn't answer him in words. In response, Daisy reached for the jar of food in Ruben's hand. He took this as a yes and found a spoon with which to feed his new little friend.
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"I just don't know what I'm gonna say to her," Casey admitted "I feel like I failed her somehow."
"You didn't," Noah reassured her as he walked with her back to her apartment building "You had a hard day and needed to unwind. You had no idea that something like that was going to happen."
"I still can't help feeling guilty you know," Casey whispered as they reached the door of her building.
"Nobody blames you for something that some creep did," Noah told her firmly as he placed a hand under her chin and moved her face so her eyes met his "You didn't know. Don't be so hard on yourself."
Casey smiled faintly "You're sweet," and before she knew it, she was kissing him. The kiss didn't last any longer than one, maybe two seconds but it was, in Casey's opinion, a very enjoyable kiss. She pulled away and all of a sudden felt very sheepish "I'm sorry," she sputtered "I mean… I'm not sorry if you aren't… I mean… Oh-" he cut her off by pulling her back to him and kissing her much deeper this time.
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"I met her this morning," Ruben was giving his statement to John Munch "I ran into her and her boyfriend was chasing her and I told him who I was so he backed off and then she got into a cab and-"
"Hey," Munch said soothingly "Take it easy," he indicated the baby that Ruben still held "You don't want to upset her. Babies are very sensitive to the emotions of the people around them."
"Right," Ruben said quickly "Sorry."
"Not a problem," Munch reassured "Now can you give a description of the boyfriend to a sketch artist?"
"Yeah," Ruben nodded "I can do that."
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Elliot's eyes opened slowly. It was dark in the hospital room. He stretched, cursing himself for falling asleep in a chair like that. He looked to the bed. It may have been dark but it was easy to see that the bed was empty. He was on his feet in a moment "Olivia!" he called out.
"What?" came the response as the door to the bathroom opened and Olivia stepped out.
"Oh thank God," Elliot whispered as he took a step towards her in the darkness "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I just had to go to the bathroom," she told him. She had to admit that after what she had been through, she was very much on edge but she hadn't expected Elliot to be as well "Are you all right?" she asked as she walked back to the bed. The nurse had taken the IV out after Elliot had fallen asleep and Olivia had been enjoying the new freedom of movement.
"I just," Elliot began then realized that there was nothing he could say that could excuse his behavior "I was worried," he whispered.
"I'm fine," Olivia pulled the covers over herself "You're here."