Chapter Five:
Hermione turned in bed, trying to ignore the sunlight streaming through her window, demanding her to wake up. She buried her face into her pillow, pulling her silk sheets tighter around herself, trying to fall back into her dreams. Then it hit her: She didn't have silk sheets.
She sat up quickly, taking in the large room around her. It looked nothing like hers, with its dark coloring, high ceilings, and antique furniture. It wasn't until she spotted what had once been Narcissa's vanity did she realize where she was. For a moment she was relieved, and then she started to panic. Why was she still at Malfoy Manor? The last thing she remembered was sitting in the sitting room, waiting for Lucius to return so she could leave, and she had settled down on the couch…where she had promptly fallen asleep.
Hermione groaned, throwing back the covers and standing up. This was the last place she wanted to be right now. She glanced down at herself and blushed at the amount of skin exposed by the black nightgown she was wearing. She didn't want to think about how she had gotten out of her dressrobes and into this.
She glanced around the room carefully, but she couldn't find her dressrobes or her muggle clothing from the night before. "Great. That's just great." Hermione said to herself. There was a silk robe draped over the chair of her vanity, but she could tell it was much shorter then she would have preferred, especially when she knew she would have to deal with the Malfoys. Unfortunately, it would have to do for now.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione hesitantly opened her door, peering out into the hallway. It was light outside, she had seen that much through the windows of her room, but she was unaware of the time. Lucius could be in bed or he could already be having his afternoon meal.
She quietly made her way downstairs, half dreading finding Lucius. She couldn't believe that she had fallen asleep and she didn't want to hear his or Draco's snide and condescending remarks about it. She herself wouldn't have thought herself comfortable enough to fall asleep at Malfoy Manor; she could only imagine Lucius's surprise to find her asleep when he had returned.
Hermione stopped outside the dinning room, one of the few rooms she could remember how to get to, and peered inside. There was no one there, although she did notice that there were three places set at the table, odd for a house with normally only two occupants. Lucius was obviously expecting her to stay.
She checked the sitting room next and then the study, but she found no one. She was nervous as she looked around the house, as if she was invading someone's privacy, despite the fact that soon this would be her home as well. But it screamed of Lucius Malfoy and everything that he stood for. Money, power, male dominance… his Slytherin nature displayed through the colors and patterns. She didn't know how she was going to make a place for herself in a home where everything that she was stood out.
Slowly she returned to the second floor, looking over her room once more to make sure that her clothing hadn't suddenly reappeared. It hadn't and neither had her wand, which had been hidden in her robes the night before. If nothing else, she wished that she had that; she would feel more secure, less anxious over what would happen when she finally did find Lucius.
She was hesitant about going into Lucius's bedroom, her future bedroom, but she only knew where one other room was and she certainly didn't want to start wandering into unknown territory either. Malfoy Manor was not a place to be taken lightly. It had been home to generations of pureblood wizards; many dark pureblood wizards, who had left their mark on the house. Lucius had altered the wards to accept her presence, but there were still many rooms that would not admit her because they could sense her heritage. While her Gryffindor instincts encouraged to her to explore the Manor, to find out what was behind door number one, she had no desire to stumble upon something that she shouldn't. If Lucius wasn't in the library or his bedroom, then she would just go down to the sitting room and wait for him there. Someone would have to show up eventually.
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The first floor of the library was void of anything but books and for a moment Hermione considered staying in there instead of trying Lucius' bedroom. Eventually someone would notice her absence and the library seemed the obvious place to look for her. But that would be the coward's way out and Hermione was no coward. Of course, that didn't mean she couldn't look around for a little while before she began her search again. She had been dying for a chance to search the library ever since she had seen it. Three floors of beautiful rare books, surely this was what heaven looked like.
As Hermione looked over the texts, she couldn't help but be amazed. While the Malfoys owned many books she had already read, the Malfoy library also housed books she never believed she would have access to. The first floor alone made Hogwarts library begin to look less appealing in her eyes. The potion books far out-numbering the books from Hogwarts library, housing collections for alchemists that even the Ministry didn't have access too.
"If you're interested in potions, I'm sure I could persuade Severus to loan you some of his…rarer texts." Hermione jumped at Lucius's soft voice in her ear. She turned around quickly only to find him standing right in front of her, leaving barely any room between the two of them.
"That's quite alright," Hermione said trying to calm her fast beating heart. "I wouldn't want to inconvenience him."
"I'm sure he wouldn't think of it as an inconvenience." He told her. She shivered slightly as his silky voice washed over her. She took a step backwards, her back hitting against the bookshelves, trying to distance herself from him.
Lucius smirked and took a step closer as well, closing the gap between them. It wasn't often, but it was at times like this that he almost wanted to thank the Minister for what he had given him. He enjoyed watching her shift nervously under his gaze. He liked that he was still able to intimidate her, despite her confident demeanor last night. "Have you noticed anything that you liked?" he asked, his tone indicating that he had.
"Yes," She said thankful that her voice came out evenly. "You have a beautiful collection."
"Malfoys pride themselves in surrounding themselves with great beauty," He said, lifting his arms to rest on the bookshelf on either side of her. "We accept nothing but the best." He drawled leaning his head closer to her. She could feel his breath tickling her ear.
"I wouldn't have expected anything else." Hermione said breathlessly. He was much closer then he had ever been before. Last night he had been close, closer then she would have thought he would have been in years past, but that had been in a room full of people. She had known that it was just for show. She had felt secure there, knowing that even if he wanted to, he couldn't do anything.
Now, alone in a room with him, wearing nothing but a flimsy nightgown, her wand not at her side, she didn't know what to expect of him, what she should be feeling right now. Because as much as she would like to believe that he would never hurt her, she knew she didn't know him enough to know anything for certain about him. And as much as a part of her feared his action for fear of him hurting her, part of her feared his actions because the look in his eyes wasn't full of hate, it was full of amusement, as if he was enjoying himself. She had seen that look in his eyes the night before, whenever he made her shudder at his touch, whenever she matched a veiled insult with one of her own, whenever she came up with an idea that he agreed to, she had seen that same look in his eyes. She didn't know what it meant. She didn't know if she wanted to.
"Father, I looked downstairs, but I couldn't find Granger anywhere…"
Hermione's head snapped to the right to see Draco standing in the doorway. He was openly staring at the both of them, obviously surprised to see them in such a position. Hermione felt the heat rising to her cheeks, realizing what this must look like, what it might actually be.
"I was able to find her quite quickly." Lucius told him. He still hadn't moved, despite Draco's presence in the room, and Hermione wasn't quite sure what to do. While Lucius's position hadn't changed; he was now staring intently at Draco as if he was angry at him for interrupting. Hermione wasn't sure if she was grateful or disappointed, as she would never know what Lucius was about to do. What that look in his eyes meant.
"You were looking for me?" Hermione asked bring Lucius's attention back to her.
"Yes," Lucius said his eyes moving from Draco's to hers. "We sent Pippy to inform you about breakfast. When she returned saying that your rooms were empty, we were worried that you had wandered off into one of the…darker rooms in the manor."
Hermione barely suppressed a snort. She was positive that the two of them weren't worried, more like hoping that one of those darker rooms had swallowed her whole. If they were worried, it was probably only that she would stumble upon something that they didn't want her to see.
"I was actually looking for you, too." Hermione said, "But I only know where a limited number of rooms are and when I checked in here I became a bit…distracted."
"I noticed." Lucius said with a smirk.
"Well, now that we all found each other, perhaps we should go down to breakfast." Draco said looking back and forth between the two. Neither had moved from the position that he had found them in and Lucius seemed quite comfortable with being so close to her. There was no sneer or malice in his words, nor had there been in the moments before Draco had let his presence be known.
"If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to have my clothes first." Hermione said.
"By the time we are done eating, the house-elves will have returned your clothes." Lucius said taking her hand and placing into the crook of his arm.
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Hermione noticed Draco staring back and forth between herself and his father as she ate her meal. She could only imagine what he was thinking after walking in on them in the library. She didn't even know what to think about it.
She looked across the table to Lucius eating silently, ignoring the other occupants of the table as he added more salt to his eggs. She wondered if this was what every breakfast would be like. Every meal, for that matter. The three of them there together but completely separate. The three of them judging each other, the way they moved, the way they sat, the way they prepared their eggs until one day she would no longer be there to compare. She wondered if she would grow to miss it then. She wondered if after living here, anything but silence while eating her meals would feel wrong.
"You've barely touched your meal, Miss Granger." Lucius said. "Was it not to your liking?"
Hermione looked up to see that both he and Draco had already cleared their plates. "I'm just not that hungry." Hermione said pushing her plate away.
"Understandable," He said, standing up from the table. "I'll walk you back to your room."
Hermione nodded in response and stood up from the table, following Lucius out of the room.
"Your clothes should have been returned to your room." he said as they ascended the staircase.
"Thank you." Hermione said quietly.
"Perhaps you should move some of your clothing to the manor, if you intend to make falling asleep here a habit." He told her.
"It's not an action I intend to repeat until I have to." Hermione snapped angrily. She was upset at herself enough as it was for being dim-witted enough to fall asleep, she didn't need him rubbing it in farther.
"However, that time will be here soon." Lucius said, "Perhaps we should begin to think about you moving your own things in."
"I suppose so."
"Have you started packing?"
"No, not yet," Hermione said. "I had originally thought that I would have more time and the last few days have been busy dealing with other things. I haven't had the opportunity to start."
"Perhaps you should make sure you have the time to get around it," He said as they stopped in front of her door. "There is something that I would like to speak with you about. I'll wait out here until you are done."
Hermione nodded her head before entering her room, closing and locking the door behind her. The last thing she wanted was him forcing his way in here, not that a lock would stop him of course, but it made her feel more secure.
Her clothes were laid out on the bed, clean and pressed, her wand lying next to them. She couldn't wait to get out of this nightgown and into clothes that made her feel confident again. It had been hard to act like nothing was bothering her when the only thing she could concentrate on was how little clothing she was actually wearing.
She quickly changed back into her jeans and blouse, stashing her wand in her pocket where it was easily accessible, before quickly exiting the room. The sooner she talked to Lucius the sooner she could get back to her own flat, away from all of the Malfoys.
As soon as Lucius saw her, he turned and started down the hallway leaving Hermione to follow him. He stopped in front of library, glancing back to make sure she was still with him, before he entered.
"Take a seat." He said, gesturing to one of the chairs as he sat down in the other.
"What exactly is it that you want to talk about?" Hermione asked, taking her seat.
"I would like to take you to dinner." He said.
"I…uhh…What?" Hermione asked unsure of what to say. She had many thoughts about what this conversation would be about, but she certainly hadn't been expecting him to ask her that.
"Now that our relationship has been made public knowledge, it will be expected of us to be seen out together." He explained. "It will make people suspicious if we are only seen together in groups and we wouldn't want people to get suspicious, would we?"
"Of course not." Hermione replied almost bitterly. Honestly, she couldn't care less if people didn't believe their marriage to be one of love. Maybe people would be able to look her in the eye again.
"It will also give us an opportunity to talk," He drawled. "An opportunity to learn more about each other."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, still skeptical about his reasoning for doing this. The Lucius Malfoy she knew always had an ulterior motive for what he was doing, or no other choice. This was his idea, which meant he had a choice, so what was his ulterior motive this time?
"Unless of course you have some reason as to why you wouldn't have dinner with me?" he asked, the challenge evident in his eyes.
"Of course not," She said meeting his gaze. "When should I expect you?"
She wouldn't let him intimidate her, wouldn't let him see weakness in her; she had already made that promise to herself. She just didn't realize that it was her pride that was letting him manipulate her.
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Hermione apparated into her flat, sighing in relief, happy to finally be alone. She was tired of having to put up her defenses to make sure she didn't look weak in front of Lucius. There was no need to be on guard in her own home.
"Hem-hem." Or maybe there was.
Hermione turned around slowly and saw Ginny leaning against the doorway leading to her kitchen, a questioning look in her eyes.
"Hey Gin," Hermione said with a forced smile. "What are you doing here?"
"We were supposed to meet a half an hour ago to go dress shopping." Ginny told her.
"Right Ginny, I completely forgot." She said cringing. She had forgotten that she had convinced Ginny to go with her today. They both needed to find their dresses for the wedding and she had hoped that Ginny would be able to help find a dress that she would like, but would still be appropriate for such a large wedding. If it was up to Hermione, it would be a simple dress, the kind you would wear for a small garden wedding, the type of wedding she had always imagined she would have.
"I can see that," Ginny said her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Where exactly were you?"
"Umm…"
"And isn't that the dress I helped pick out for last night?" she asked, snatching the dress bag out of her hands. "Where were you exactly? You didn't…I mean you wouldn't have…You didn't spend the night there did you?"
"Well, technically—"
"Hermione!"
"Ginny, do you honestly think I would have spent the night there if I had a choice?" she asked.
"Well, no…" Ginny said her face softening.
"That's because I wouldn't. I fell asleep on the couch and Lucius moved me up to the guest bedroom. Nothing else happened."
"You sure?"
"Of course I am." Hermione said trying to sound more confident then she was. She decided it was probably best not to tell her about what happened in the library this morning.
"Sorry," Ginny said. "I overreacted. It's a Weasley thing."
"Trust me, I learned that a while ago." Hermione said with a small smile.
"Yeah, well just be glad that it was me who came over and overreacted and not Ron." Ginny said. "You should have heard him and Harry last night."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.
"Well, I stopped over at their flat last night after my shift at St. Mungo's was over because I left my purse there and they had just gotten home from the engagement party."
"What did they say?"
"Well according to Ron, Lucius was a little too close for comfort." Ginny said.
"He was just doing that to annoy them." Hermione said, "Obviously it worked."
"And Harry said you seemed upset at dinner." Ginny said slowly. "Did something happen you want to talk about?"
"No, I'm fine." Hermione said forcing a smile.
"Are you sure?" Ginny asked.
"I just…Ginny, are any of you ever going to be okay with this?"
"What do you mean?"
"I watched Harry and Ron last night, they were so….uncomfortable and unprepared to see me with him. And just now, when I came home I saw the look in your eye when you realized where I had been. Is that how it's always going to be? After everything that happened in your first year, in the years following, are you going to be able to stand up there, next to Draco, and watch me marry him?"
"I'll never forgive him for what he did." Ginny said quietly. "But I made peace with what happened. I was forced to do that when he joined the Order. And as much as I never thought he would have…He has done a lot of good, even if it wasn't always for the right reason. And without him winning the war, well, it would have taken much longer. Somehow that trumps whatever happened to me."
"Thanks Ginny," Hermione said with a smile. "I'll be less nervous if I know you're at least semi-okay with this."
"Hermione…"
"Yes?" she asked.
"You need to stop worrying about what everyone else is going to think. I can accept that you're marrying him, the real question is, can you?"
"Everything's going to be fine." Hermione lied. "I believe that. I'm just going to go get changed."
"Okay." Ginny said quietly. She could tell that Hermione wasn't being honest with her, that she wasn't being honest with herself, but she wasn't going to push it. Sometimes denial was better then having the truth thrust upon you. Eventually, Hermione would take the time to realize her feelings about this marriage and Ginny would be there for her then. That was all she could do.
"I'll be back in a minute." Hermione said hurrying into her bedroom.
As Hermione changed, she couldn't help but wish she could spend this day doing anything else. She had barely had a chance to recover from the night before and now she had to deal with more wedding plans. And she knew how muggles treated the women in bridal shops. She wasn't sure if she was up for that. But then again, she had had little choice in the matter so far, why should feelings start to matter now?
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"How about this one?" Ginny asked, picking a dress up off the rack.
"Ginny that's not a wedding dress, that's not even a whole dress." Hermione told her, shaking her head.
"Yeah, but can you imagine the look on Minister Trimble's face, if you walked down the aisle in it?" Ginny asked her face lighting up, "Or Mr. Malfoy's for that matter?"
Hermione couldn't help but laugh in agreement, shaking her head at her friend. She could only imagine the reactions that it would get. "Come on Gin." Hermione said, pulling her further into the bridal store. "Let's find a dress that won't result in me being thrown into prison for angering the Minister of Magic."
"Good idea." Ginny said.
"Hello, can I help you two find anything?" A saleswoman asked coming up to them.
"Actually, yes." Ginny said, "My friend here is getting married and needs a dress."
"That's wonderful!" The woman said, "Any particular style you were looking for?"
"I'm not really sure." Ginny said, "Hermione?"
But Hermione wasn't listening. Her eyes had strayed to a young woman and her mother in front of the dressing room. The woman was glowing in her gown as her mother told her how beautiful she looked. A wave of sadness hit Hermione full force, but she couldn't force herself to look away.
She had never been the type to fantasize of a dream wedding, but there were certain things she had always thought that would be there. Like her mother and her father. She had always assumed that it would be her mother helping her pick out her wedding gown, fighting over necklines and the amount of lace, she had never stopped to consider otherwise. Her father was supposed to be fighting with her to allow him to walk her down the aisle, despite her feelings on the tradition. It was her father's right after all, to give his daughter away, he would have told her. But eventually she would have won the fight, convincing her father that she was her own woman and that she would rather give the representation that this was a decision of her own making, and walked down the aisle unaccompanied. But Hermione would never have wanted to have won the fight this way; she never wanted not to have the choice.
"Hermione? Hermione are you with us?" Ginny asked.
"What? I'm sorry, what did you say?" Hermione asked looking back at her companion.
"I asked what you thought of this one." Ginny asked holding up the ivory dress next to her. She had sent the saleswoman away when she realized that Hermione's heart wasn't completely in this and the woman might be a little too peppy for either of their liking. "Isn't it lovely?"
"I don't know." Hermione said slowly. "Isn't it…isn't it rather poofy. I mean I just…I always imagined getting married in a different kind of dress. One with a train….I don't know. I'm being silly, I guess. It doesn't matter now; nothing about this marriage is what I thought it would be."
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Ginny watched Hermione from across the store. They had already been to three different bridal shops and Hermione had tried on dozens of dresses, but she hadn't really liked anything. She had come up with excuse after excuse to why each dress was wrong. Ginny was almost scared to approach her with the dress she had found.
She knew that it was perfect for her. She knew she would love it, but she also knew she would resent it. She knew that while she would long for it, and maybe even buy it, it would always be a symbol of what this wedding truly was.
Because as Hermione stood in front of the mirror, looking beautiful in the dress Ginny had found for her, on the inside it was killing her. Because this beautiful dress that Lucius's money had allowed her to buy, was just one more thing that he had taken away from her.
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Lucius raised his hand to knock on Hermione's door, scowling at his surroundings. Hermione's flat left much to be desired; Malfoy Manor would certainly be more than just a step up when she moved. In fact, as he looked around he was surprised that she hadn't asked to move in sooner.
"Hello," Hermione said quietly as she opened the door. She was still in her dressing robe, this one much longer than the one he had provided, though her hair was already done. "Come in." she said gesturing her arm towards her setting room. "I just need a few moments and then I'll be ready."
"Of course." he said. Hermione quickly made into her room, glancing behind her as if she was having second thoughts, before she shut the door behind her.
Normally, Lucius would have been disapproving of the fact that she wasn't ready for their evening; however, this would give him an opportunity to look around. Some of her things were already packed away into boxes, but it seemed that her more personal items had been left out. There were several photographs on the mantel; one of her and the Weasley girl at what appeared to be the red-head's graduation, another was of her when she was just a small child, not more then ten, with whom he could only assume were her parents. Both he knew to be casualties of the war, though he had never been informed of what happened to them. There were three more pictures after that, two of her with Harry and Ron, the precious golden trio, one from their school days and one much more recent, and the last picture was of her and the Oliver Wood. He couldn't help but sneer; she was draped all over him and he couldn't have seen happier, both too involved in each other to realize the photograph was being taken.
"Sorry," Hermione said, coming out of her bedroom. She didn't even notice him turn away from her photos. "I wasn't expecting you until later. Normally I'm on time."
"It's quite alright; it gave me time to get acquainted with your apartment." He said, looking her up and down. She was wearing dark red dressrobes, cut tastefully to show just enough cleavage and just enough leg. "What will you do with it after you move into the manor?"
"Nothing," She explained, "Ginny's going to be moving in to take care of it until after the divorce."
"Six years is a long time," He told her, "If she marries in that time, what will happen to it then?"
"We'll deal with it then." Hermione said with a small smile. A part of her still hoped that this marriage would be over before it had the chance to begin. Giving up her apartment would only cement the idea that she was putting her life on hold for six years, and even when she did come back, everything would be different.
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Lucius took Hermione's hand in his own and turned, apparating them both to a street in Diagon Ally. When Hermione opened her eyes, she saw that they were in front of an expensive restaurant that she had never noticed before. But then again, usually when she had been Diagon Ally, it hadn't been in search of a restaurant it had been in search of supplies for school.
"Come along." He said pulling at her hand.
Lucius spoke briefly with the host, who instantly recognized him, before the owner of the restaurant came out to lead them to their table. Hermione felt self-conscious as she clutched Lucius's hand tightly as they were lead through the dinning room. It seemed as if everyone's eyes were now on the two of them. She didn't want to show him weakness but it was better then showing the entire restaurant just how uncomfortable they were making her. She could feel the hate radiating off of them. Hate for her and for her decision to marry Lucius. She wanted to tell them that she wasn't in love with him. She wanted to scream that she was only doing this because she had too. But she didn't. Her pride wouldn't allow her to announce to the world that she had been strong-armed into this. She couldn't handle that.
The owner pulled out her seat, and Lucius took his own. They spoke for a few more moments in French before the owner left to put their orders in.
"I ordered you—"
"The chicken." Hermione finished, "I understood what you said to him. If I hadn't liked it I would have said something." She told him.
"I wasn't aware you spoke French." Lucius said. He had expected her to need his assistance in understanding the French menu; that was why he had taken the liberty to order for her. He hadn't wanted to go over everything in the menu as he had been sure she would have wanted him to. Apparently, that hadn't been necessary.
"Isn't that what this meal is about?" Hermione asked raising an eyebrow. "An opportunity to learn more about each other."
"That is what I said, isn't it?"
"Word for word, I believe." She told him. She enjoyed the fact that she was able to take him by surprise. She was going to use that to her advantage.
"What exactly would you like to know?" he asked. That was what this evening was to be about. It was specifically what he had planned when he had suggested dinner, finding out her weaknesses, what buttons to push when he wanted things to go his way. To find out what social skills needed to be corrected before he pushed her further into higher society. He just hadn't expected her to turn it around on him. Sometimes, he preferred unintelligent women. And unintelligent Hermione certainly was not.
If Hermione was honest with herself, she wasn't sure what to ask him. There were so many questions she wanted answered, and there were so many questions that she was sure she never wanted to know the answers to. She didn't want to know something that she couldn't forget.
"Exactly how many of the books in your library have you read?" Best to start off with something unthreatening.
"At least three-fourths," he said, tipping his head to the left. He had obviously not expected her to ask that question. "If not more."
"Certainly more then a respectable amount." She agreed.
"I wonder why you asked that." He said, looking carefully at her.
"Anyone can have a library full of books, but not everyone takes the time to read them. Not everyone holds the intelligence to." She said. "I'm just trying to figure out who I'm dealing with."
"As am I," he said. "There was a photograph on your mantel."
"Several, actually." She said. She hadn't realized that he had looked at them.
"One was of you when you were a child." He said and Hermione stiffened, she didn't like the direction this conversation was heading. So much for the upper hand. "It was your parents that you were with?" he asked.
"Yes." She replied curtly.
"I was never informed what happened to them," Lucius said, "They were both casualties of the war, I suppose."
"Yes." she repeated. She would have been happy to leave it at that but he continued watching her. It was clear in his gaze that he wanted to know what had happened to them. And as much as it pained her to admit it, as her future husband, it would look suspicious if he didn't know about them.
"They were killed the summer before seventh year." She said quietly, "I had convinced Dumbledore to let me go home and visit for a few weeks before I went to stay at headquarters with everyone else. I had been there two days when my mother sent me to the store to pick up a few things. When I came back I saw the Dark Mark hovering over my house and found my parents inside…well, most of them anyway." Hermione said looking down at her napkin. "Dumbledore said that it was my mother that saved me…I never quite looked at it like that."
"Dumbledore kept it quiet for awhile, but it got leaked eventually and by the time I got back to Hogwarts everyone knew." She explained, "That's what cemented the mutual dislike between me and your son. He made one too many orphan jokes and I hexed what he considered to be a valuable and necessary part of his body."
"That information was never shared with me." He told her.
"I'm not surprised," She said, "I don't think he was too forthcoming to anyone about that."
"I think I'm going to go use the restroom before dinner comes." Hermione said forcing a small smile in Lucius direction. She had never liked talking about her parent's death, especially with people she knew would be less then caring. It still hurt; thinking about that day still made her want to cry and that was something she never wanted to do in front of Lucius.
"Excuse me." She said standing up. Lucius stood as well watching her as she made her way to the other side of the restaurant, towards the restroom.
She quickly wiped the tears from her parents memories had caused her before turning on the faucet and splashing water on her face. This was definitely one of those times she was glad that she didn't wear makeup. It was easier to hide what you were feeling when there weren't trails of mascara going down your cheeks.
Hermione turned the water off and looked up into the mirror. So much for not letting him get to her. She turned to get a towel only to see one extended to her. "Thank you." She told the woman quietly accepting the towel.
"Enjoying your dinner, Hermione?" The woman asked.
"How do you know my name?" Hermione asked, turning around.
"Everyone knows your name, honey." She said with a sneer. "It comes with the territory of marrying Lucius Malfoy, whomever lacks the proper intelligence to stop themselves from doing such a thing."
"My marriage has nothing to so with you." Hermione said, raising her chin defiantly. She should have known as soon as she saw her. Some people didn't know to leave well enough alone. "Now, if you would please step out of my way, my fiancé is waiting for me." She moved to step around her, knowing it was better to avoid confrontation when she herself didn't believe in the marriage, but the woman stepped in front of her.
"Do you really think he's changed?" she asked. "Do you believe all the lies he's been whispering in your ears? How can you be with him when you know what he's done? How can you stand to have his hands on you when you know he's killed with them?"
"You don't know what you're talking about." Hermione told her.
"Oh, I think I do." She said stepping closer. "Cause see, I knew plenty of those people who he and his precious lord killed for no better reason than they felt like it. And you, a supposed war hero, to associate with him, it makes it seem like it's all okay and it's not, what he did will never be okay."
Hermione closed her eyes briefly, telling herself not to listen to this woman, that Lucius had paid his dues, that he had changed sides. But repeating things to yourself doesn't mean that you believe what you're saying.
"Look, I understand why you're upset." Hermione said, "I get it, I do. I lost a lot of people I loved in the war too. But Lucius and I are getting married. And you may not agree with my marriage, but that gives you no right to talk about me or him that way. We're getting married whether anyone likes it or not; its time we all got used to that and just moved on."
Hermione stepped around the older woman, leaving the bathroom and quickly returning to the dinning room. The woman's words were still ringing in her head. Could she ever learn to accept Lucius after everything that he had done? Did she really want too?
"Are you feeling alright?" Lucius asked, as she sat down at the table.
"I'm fine." Hermione lied, smiling at him. Had she already?
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After dinner, Lucius suggested they wander about town, hoping for more people to see the two of them together. Hermione had absentmindedly agreed, her head still too confused by her thoughts to comprehend completely what was going on around her.
She had distanced herself from Lucius as they ate their meal; she had walked slightly farther away from him than necessary as they looked in the windows of the shops, and she remained silent in his presence, as she contemplated everything that had been happening.
The engagement, the contract, the wedding….Everything had happened so quickly, and she was still trying to catch up. She had never allowed herself to really think about it, pushing thoughts of it away, telling herself that she had to be strong in order to survive. The last time she had allowed herself to cry had been when she had gone to Harry and Ron's the night she had signed the contract, that had been the last time that she had allowed herself completely to fight what was going on, to have hope that everything would be okay even if she knew it wouldn't. She had locked it all away after that, constantly planning and making lists, packing and doing things, resulting in sleepless nights and nightmares of what she wouldn't allow herself to fear was to come. But the woman in the bathroom, too cowardly to supply her with a name, had brought everything forward, pushing it to the front of her mind. And Hermione wanted nothing more to push it back in again, to make it go back into hiding. Because allowing herself to accept it made it real, and she so desperately wanted this not to be real.
Lucius appeared behind her, Hermione could see a faint reflection of him in the window she was looking in and she could tell from his stance that he wasn't happy. She imagined her freezing him out wasn't what he had wanted to public to see. But instead of the anger that she had expected, the harsh words of criticism whispered so only she could hear, he came closer behind her, tugging on her arms slightly and pulling her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her waist. Hermione felt like she had stopped breathing.
"What are you doing?" she hissed at him. She didn't like this. People were all around, they could see them, and she couldn't tell him to stop. But he was so close, she could feel his breath on her, but she couldn't see him, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. No, she didn't like this at all.
"Acting as if being near you doesn't appall me." He whispered into her ear. "You should try the same. Really, Hermione, how do you expect anyone to believe us as a couple, when you won't get within three feet of me?"
"There is a difference between believable couple and conjoined at the hip."
"But usually not in your relationships." He told her. "Certainly not with Mr. Wood." She cringed at the accusation in his voice. "Nor with Mr. Weasley or Mr. Williams—"
"What exactly is your point?" she snapped.
"Your past relationships have lacked a certain amount of decorum. You have never expressed care over what the press or anyone else thinks of you."
"You've been checking up on me?" she asked.
"If your behavior was to suddenly change," he continued ignoring her, "People might—"
"Become suspicious?" She finished for him. "That does seem to be your answer for everything."
"I'm hardly asking for much." He told her. "Just your hand in mine, to prove to the public that I have not angered my wife-to-be. We will save everything else for after the wedding." He purred. Hermione shivered at his words as he dropped his hands and stepped away from her. She slowly turned around, pushing thoughts of the wedding night far from her mind.
He offered her his hand and she couldn't help but flash back to the woman in the restroom. How can you stand to have his hands on you when you know he's killed with them? She stared at it for a moment, before placing her much smaller one of it in his. This was happening whether she liked it or not. She had agreed to do this, now she just had to accept it.
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The next day their evening was in the papers; pictures of them together, outlandish tales of their 'love' and how Lucius Malfoy had changed. The Minister's plan was working. People were finally beginning to believe in this marriage, to believe that if Lucius Malfoy, pureblood of all purebloods, could change, then anything was possible.
But as the wizarding community slowly began to accept the idea of a marriage so unexpected, Hermione became even more uncertain of it. She knew what Lucius was like. She knew that he hadn't given up his pureblood elitist ways. She knew that if he had a choice, he would never marry her. She knew that he may have learned to tolerate her, but he certainly didn't love her as the papers said.
And while Hermione lost more and more sleep over it each night, guilt ridden in the role that she was playing in this lie, Lucius smirked, because he was one step further in his plan.
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The rehearsal was simple enough. Lucius stood there. Ginny would stand there. Minister Trimble was to stand where everyone could see him. Hermione would make her entrance as the music magically began to play. The Minister would speak, they would recite their vows, and it would all be over. Hermione Granger would disappear and Hermione Malfoy would be born.
"You'll kiss," The Minister continued, oblivious to the bride's lack of attention, "And then go back down the aisle, shortly followed by Miss Weasley and Draco. Does everyone understand?"
"Most of us understood it the first three times you explained it." Draco sneered.
"Is that everything?" Lucius asked.
"I believe so." The Minister said, "The house-elves will finish setting up in the morning, and everything that has already been set up will be magically protected for the night."
"Good." Hermione said quietly. "Then I think will be leaving." She said detangling her hand from Lucius. She had been forced to take it as the Minister explained the ceremony. It only served as a reminder as to what else she would be forced to do after the ceremony tomorrow.
"Yes, I'm sure you all have things to attend to," Minister Trimble said with a large smile, "I'll see you all tomorrow then."
"Tomorrow." Lucius repeated his face impassive. "Miss Weasley, Hermione." He said with a nod of acknowledgement before he apparated away. Draco just sneered at them both before he followed.
"Going home?" Ginny asked Hermione quietly. The Minister had moved to a different area, but she had never quite trusted him.
"Yes, Harry and Ron should be there soon." Hermione said with a smile. "I figure we'd spend one last night together, like the old days. I'm sure they won't want to hang around the manor much, not with Lucius and Draco there."
"I'm sure you'll still see plenty of them." Ginny said, trying to sound encouraging. She knew that none of them would ever give up on Hermione's friendship, but she also knew that it would be harder once she was married. Especially because of whom she was marrying.
"I know," Hermione said looking over the decorations. "But everything will be different then."
She just wanted one last day of being Hermione Granger, brightest witch to ever attend Hogwarts, best-friend to the Boy-Who-Conquered and Ron Weasley, before she became Hermione Malfoy, wife by law to Lucius, step-mother to her childhood enemy, and hated by the wizarding community and herself, for allowing this to happen.
"Have fun with the boys," Ginny said with a large smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow." Hermione said quietly, too absorbed in her thoughts to turn around as Ginny apparated out. Tomorrow everything would be different.
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"To one last night before Miss Granger becomes a Malfoy." Severus said raising his glass of scotch.
"Yes, one last night before the invasion." Lucius agreed.
"That is certainly one way to think of it," Severus said with a small chuckle. "It seems as if it wasn't that long ago that we were preparing for your last marriage."
"And yet in that time we have never prepared for one of your own." Lucius smirked.
"If I remember correctly, both of your brides have been chosen for you." Severus said, "If I was to marry, I would prefer to choose a bride of my own."
"Don't be ridiculous," Lucius said, "Arranged marriages make everything much simpler. You don't have to go through the dreadful process of courting, nor are you forced to lie to them in order to get what you want."
"I'll have to take your word on that," Severus said. He wasn't surprised that that was Lucius's perspective on the idea. "Draco seems oddly quiet tonight." He said nodding in his direction.
"He has been like that all day." Lucius said pouring himself another drink. Draco had been sulking the last few days. He knew that he had never thought this marriage would happen. That Draco had thought that Lucius would find a way out of it, a loophole I the contract, and Lucius had never corrected him. If Draco was too much in denial to see what was in front of his face, he would have to deal with it when it was shoved even closer.
"I assume he is upset with the marriage." Severus said.
"Of course I'm upset with the marriage." Draco said finally speaking up. "How can I not be upset by it? How can you not be upset with it? I can't believe that you're going through with it."
"I don't know why it comes as such a surprise to you. I have done nothing to say otherwise." Lucius said.
"You forget Father, I was here when you came home from meeting with Dumbledore. I was there the night of the engagement party when you realized that she wasn't going to be as easy to control as you thought. You shattered so many vases that even the house-elves couldn't put them back together."
"I have accepted this for what it is," Lucius ground out. "You should too."
"Why? So the Minister can get what he wants again? So Granger can spend six years annoying me even more?"
"No, you will accept it because I told you to do so," Lucius said standing up. "Just as you will stand up there tomorrow, with a smile on your face, because I told you to do so. Just as I will stand up with a smile on my own, as will she. No one here likes this arrangement. No one here would have chosen it. But whether any of us like it, these are the cards that we have been dealt, and as Malfoys we will all move on and accept that. If you are incapable of doing that, then you will pretend that you are. Do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly." Draco said with a sneer, whipping around and hurrying out of the study.
Lucius turned back to Severus who had raised an eyebrow. "Another drink?" He asked, extending a now full glass of brandy.
Lucius sneered at his old friend before accepting the glass.
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"Hey Hermione?" Ron called.
"Yes?" Hermione said coming into the setting-room
"Why's this picture of you and Oliver face down?" Ron asked picking it up.
"I don't know." Hermione said quietly. She didn't remember doing that.
"You're sure you're not upset about everything that happened between then two of you?" He asked, "I mean, with the wedding and all."
"Well, I was never exactly thrilled with how it ended," Hermione said taking the picture from it. She and Oliver looked so happy together, so carefree. She couldn't help but wonder if she would feel like that again. "But I'm not angry with him. I would have reacted the same way…Honestly, I haven't thought all the much about what happened with him. I haven't had the time too."
"Maybe it's better that way." She said placing the photograph back on the mantel face down. She didn't know who had done it, but maybe it was for the best. She was moving into a new phase in her life; it would only be harder if she dragged the past with her.
"So, what exactly are we supposed to be doing tonight?" Harry asked, coming out of the kitchen. "Ron and I might not have been the best choice for companions for your bachelorette party."
"Unless you had something strange in mind and you didn't tell us." Ron said with a smile.
"No," Hermione said, throwing a pillow at him. "I just thought it might be nice to have one last night of normality before..."
"You marry the devil." Ron interjected.
"Ron, he's not the devil."
"Devil's advocate, then?" Harry asked.
"Guys, please. Can we not talk about this tonight?" Hermione asked. "I don't want this night to be about my life with Lucius. I'm going to have to deal with that soon enough. Can we just….can we just pretend that that isn't the reason that we're here? Can we just act like this is a normal night of the two of you coming over to raid my fridge? Please?"
"If that's what you want, then we'll do it Hermione." Harry said quietly. "But are you sure that's what you want?" He asked, his eyes searching her face questioningly.
"Yeah, that's what I want." Hermione said with a sad smile.
As Hermione fell asleep that night, happily squashed on the couch between the two of them, she clung to their hands, wishing that when she woke up, it wouldn't just be pretend.
A/N: So there it is guys. Sorry it took so long to get out life has just been really crazy these last few months and I've barely had time to sleep, let alone write. But hopefully you'll like this and the extra length will make up for the long wait.
Thank you so much for all the reviews. You guys are so incredibly nice and I really appreciate your guys input. Please keep reviewing! Suggestions for plot ideas and guesses of what will happen are always welcome. I love to hear what you guys want to happen.
Big thanks to my beta Emma. She's absolutely wonderful and brilliant at it!
Next chapter's the wedding, so stay tuned!